Lost Boys

by Orson Scott Card

"Oh, I'll keep it," said Step. "One way or another."

  "How can you stop her from punishing him even more as soon as you're through talking to her?"

  "If necessary I'll go to class every day."

  "She'd never permit that. The school would never permit it."

  "A parent, observing his child's class?"

  "You'd lose your job."

  "I'll quit the job!" said Step, and to his own surprise he was talking loudly, angrily. He brought his voice back down, spoke quietly, intensely. "I will quit the job. I hate the job. The job is keeping me from being a decent father to my children. The job is killing me and my family. Screw the job."

  DeAnne visibly recoiled from him. "Step, please," she said.

  It made him irrationally angry, to have her get upset at him for his language when he was talking about something that actually mattered. "Oh, don't you like the way I said it? The word screw is too rough for you?

  It's a euphemism, DeAnne. You can't get mad at me for using a euphemism! I mean, I could have said-"

  "I'm not mad at you for saying screw, you dunce! I'm not mad at you at all, and don't be mad at me either, I can't stand it!" She burst into tears. "You were about to say the f- word! You were about to say that to your own wife."

  "What is this about?" asked Step. "You were mad at me, I know you well enough to know what it looks like, you were mad at me for saying screw and-"

  "So I was! For one stupid second! And then I realized it was stupid and I'm sorry, I can't help getting some look on my face for one split second, I don't deserve to have you swearing at me!"

  "What are we doing?" said Step. "Why are we fighting?"

  "Because our son has been tormented in school and we didn't do anything to help him-"

  "How could we? He didn't tell us-"

  "And we're both so angry we want to beat somebody up and the only person within easy reach is each other." DeAnne stopped talking for a moment. Then, to Step's surprise, she laughed. Laughed and lowered herself to the edge of the bed.

  "OK, share the joke with the rest of us in this room," said Step.

  "I was just thinking-this is so stupid, it isn't even funny ..." She wiped tears away from her eyes.

  "I know, I can see how funny it isn't," said Step.

  "I just thought, when I said we're so mad and the only person we can reach is each other, I thought, `Let's go beat up Sister LeSueur."'

  She was right. It wasn't really funny, and yet Step had to sit down beside her on the bed and laugh and laugh.

  Step didn't actually ask for permission to leave work in the middle of the day. He just leaned his head into Dicky's office and said, "I'm taking lunch at two-thirty this afternoon because I have to go meet with my son's teacher after school."

  "Your wife can't do that?" asked Dicky.

  "Dicky," said Step, "it's my lunch hour, and I'm taking it at two-thirty. I'm only telling you because I want you to know where I'm going to be during that time period. I wasn't asking permission.

  Dicky made no argument, just shrugged and gave a sort of half smile that made Step say to himself, You're too sensitive, too prickly Step. Dicky didn't mean anything by what he said, and you jumped all over him.

  Then, at twenty after two, as Step was sliding his microcassette recorder into his right pants pocket just prior to leaving, Dicky buzzed him on the phone. "Come by my office, please," he said.

  "I'm on my way out," said Step. "To lunch."

  "On your way, then, please stop by my office."

  Step felt a sick dread in the pit of his stomach. Is he firing me? Because I spoke rudely to him? Impossible.

  Or maybe Ray Keene found out that I snuck a copy of my employment agreement, and so he thinks I'm looking for another job and so I'm being sacked because of that.

  Instead, Dicky was all smiles when Step came into his office. There was another man there, a tall, thin fellow with a dark complexion and a sepulchral face that would have been rather fright ening if he hadn't been smiling so broadly. In fact, his head was so narrow and his smile so wide that it looked for a moment as if he really were, literally, grinning from ear to ear. A mouth like a Mup pet, though Step.

  "Meet Damien Weinreiter," said Dicky. "We're interviewing him for that programming position we have open."

  "Oh? I didn't know we were looking for a programmer." Step never knew when they were hiring or firing people-he wasn't exactly part of the personnel process.

  "Oh, yes, and I thought we couldn't very well have him come through without you having a chance to interview him."

  Interview him! When Step had to get to Stevie's school?

  Of course, he realized. This was how Dicky was getting back at him for speaking so sharply to him earlier today. Trying to put him into a position where he had to stay and miss that appointment. And the worst thing was that it was going to work. There was no gracious way that Step could tell Dicky to sit on his thumb, Step was taking his lunch now.

  "Dicky, why me? I write manuals."

  "Oh, Step, don't be so modest. You're not just our manual writer."

  I knew it! thought Step. He knew about my secret assignment all along.

  Dicky went on. "You're also the programmer of Hacker Snack. So of course Damien wants to get a chance to meet you."

  "Great game," said Damien. "You're the best."

  Yeah, right, thought Step. And you want a job here and you have the delusion, you poor thing, that sucking up to me will help you get it. Dicky here has probably already decided that you're not going to get an offer, and he's just using you to screw up my family life.

  Well, Dicky, it isn't going to work.

  Step did as Dicky asked-came in and sat down while the interview continued. But he knew Dicky had no intention of actually letting Step take part in the conversation. This was a humiliation game, so Dicky was going to make Step sit there in virtual silence while he conducted an interview in which Step was obviously not needed for anything.

  So Step opened his attache case, took out a yellow notepad, and wrote a brief note to Dicky.

  Dear Dicky, I'm putting this on a note so I don't embarrass you in front of your interview.

  I'm going to meet with my son's teacher, as I told you I would. And I can't wait to be there at the meeting when you tell Ray Keene that you are now including me in the hiring process for programmers. With such a broadening of my responsibilities, I'm sure I'll get a raise!

  Affectio nately yours, Step He stood up, wordlessly put the note on Dicky's desk, and left, closing the door behind him.

  On the way to the school, Step tried to calm himself down. His anger at Dicky would do no good if it made him approach Mrs. Jones carelessly. He had to handle this exactly right with her, or he would do more harm than good. Being angry wouldn't help.

  DeAnne had let him take the car today. He had been trying to catch more rides with other employees more often lately, because he knew how trapped she felt, being home all day without a car. Somehow he knew they had to come up with a second car-especially after the baby was born this summer. No way could he leave her home with a newborn without transportation. And yet it really didn't work out well fo r him to ride with others.

  He always ended up keeping them late. Or coming home with Gallowglass, and he hated bringing Gallowglass to his home. He didn't even want Glass knowing where he lived, though of course it was far too late for that.

  And Glass still asked him, every time, when Step was going to call on him to babysit. No, Step needed a car and DeAnne needed a car and there was no way they could scrape together the money right now even to buy a junker, let alone something dependable.

  He pulled up in front of the school as the last buses were pulling out. Too late he remembered that DeAnre had told him that he had to take Fargo Road so he could park in that hidden lot up on the hill. Oh, well, thought Step. What are they going to do, shoot me? So he pulled in behind the last bus and followed it around the turnaround and pulled into a visitor parking place.

>   Dr. Mariner was at the door as he approached the school. "I'll bet you didn't know that parents aren't supposed to use the turnaround after school," she said.

  "Actually, I did," said Step, "but I forgot until I was here and then I saw the last bus was leaving so I figured it wouldn't do any harm."

  "Why, in fact, I think you're right. No harm done at all. Can I help you with something?"

  "I hope so, ma'am. I'm Step Fletcher, and I'm here to-"

  "Stevie Fletcher's father?"

  "Yes," said Step, "I am."

  "Oh, what a remarkable young man you have! And your wife is such a sweetie. And I think you have a little boy who's going to be in our kindergarten next year."

  "Yes, that's Robbie."

  "Well, I can hardly wait, though of course I'll be sad to see Stevie leave us. He's the sweetest boy, and so smart. Why, Mrs. Jones is always telling me how well he does in class, and of course you already know how he did with his second-grade project."

  "I did hear something about it," said Step. He wanted her to tell him, in part because he didn't know which story was going to be true.

  "Hear something about it indeed," said Dr. Mariner. "First-place winner, and you 'heard something about it.'

  We don't get many students of his caliber. You must know that."

  "Oh, yes," said Step. "But I'm glad to know you know it."

  "Well, of course," said Dr. Mariner. "But I mustn't keep you--I'm sure you came to have a consultation with Mrs. Jones, and we don't want her to be kept waiting."

  "Actually, she doesn't know I'm coming."

  "Oh, well, all the more reason to hurry-you want to get there before she goes home. My I hope she hasn't already left! Do you know where her classroom is?"

  "Actually, no," said Step.

  "Then let me take you."

  "No, just tell me, I don't want to inconvenience ..."

  But she was already five steps ahead of him down the corridor.

  Mrs. Jones was still there, though she was already shrugging on her coat and if Step had waited to get directions instead of having a guide, he probably would have missed her. So he thanked Dr. Mariner profusely, even as he wondered whether this interview was even necessary. Clearly the librarian's version of reality had been the true one.

  "Why Mr. Fletcher," said Mrs. Jones, after Dr. Mariner had left. "We don't have many fathers come to school. If only you had made an appointment, I could have stayed longer."

  "Perhaps this won't take long," said Step. "I mostly came to talk to you about Stevie's project."

  "His project?" she asked.

  "His second- grade project. The-environment thing. He did an underwater scene. Out of clay."

  "Oh, of course, yes. That was so creative."

  His heart sank. He should be relieved, of course, to know that Mrs. Jones had not given him a C. But it meant Stevie had lied.

  No, he told himself. Don't give up on Stevie so easily.

  He reached into his pocket and switched on the microcassette recorder. He had already tested it in the pit at work. It picked up very well through the denim of his jeans.

  "I wondered if you could tell me, Mrs. Jones. What grade did you give Stevie for that project?"

  "Oh, I can hardly remember, that was so long ago."

  "A week ago," said Step.

  "Oh, here it is." She had her thumb down on the gradebook, but Step noticed that she glanced toward the door. Why? To see if Dr. Mariner was still there? "My," she said. "I see here that he got a C."

  "Ah," said Step. He felt himself to be on fire inside. Stevie had told the truth. And so had the librarian. The project won first place, and yet somehow, somehow it got a C.

  "Yes, that's it," said Mrs. Jones. "Definitely a C."

  "Well, now," said Step. "That's hard to understand."

  "Not really," said Mrs. Jones. "There's nothing wrong with a C. It means average."

  Step had already scanned down all the other grades in the column of her gradebook where Stevie's C was marked. "It's hardly average," said Step, "when everybody else got A's and B's."

  "Now, Mr. Fletcher. We don't let parents look at other children's grades, and you clearly were peeking at the wrong column of my gradebook."

  But Step was looking around the classroom, not at her. "I was hoping," he said, "to see what an A project looked like, if Stevie's was only worth a C. It would help us as his parents, you see, to know what the standard is that he must meet, so we could help him do better on future projects."

  There was the thing he was looking for. A blue ribbon, pinned to a bulletin board. Nothing written on it or by it. Just a blue rib bon.

  "Oh, the projects have all been returned," said Mrs. Jones. "Stevie chose to throw his away, I'm afraid, but it was just a mass of clay by then. It was a shame what those ill- mannered children did to his project, but then, we really didn't have any practice at dealing with sculpture. If Stevie had brought a poster like everyone else, it wouldn't have happened."

  Step reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out the folded-up assignment sheet DeAnne had armed him with. "I've looked and looked on this assignment sheet you sent home, and it says nothing about a poster. It just says, 'A depiction."'

  "Well, you see," said Mrs. Jones, "that means a poster."

  Step looked back at the blue ribbon. "Ah," he said. "And how was I supposed to know that? I mean, the Mona Lisa is a depiction, isn't it? And yet it isn't a poster. And wouldn't you call Michelangelo's David a depiction?"

  "All the other parents managed to figure out that a poster was what was intended," said Mrs. Jones. Her tone was getting quite frosty now.

  "I see," said Step. "Perhaps they knew the local custom. But we're new here, and we did not."

  "Obviously," said Mrs. Jones.

  "But surely you're not telling me that Stevie's project was given a C because it wasn't a poster, are you?" asked Step.

  "Not at all. As I said- it was creative."

  "Then I still need your help to figure out what Stevie did wrong."

  "And I keep telling you, Mr. Fletcher. You don't have to do something wrong to get a C. That signifies average. It was an average project."

  Short of calling her a liar right now, there wasn't much Step could say to that, not directly. It must be time to talk about the ribbon. "Well, Mrs. Jones, it makes me wonder why Dr. Mariner would give the first-place ribbon to an average project."

  "Dr. Mariner has her judgment, and I have mine," said Mrs. Jones.

  Yes, thought Step. She is definitely sounding quite cold. "Oh, of course," said Step. "But you see, you didn't give your grades until after Dr. Mariner had made her decision, did you?"

  "My judgment was completely independent."

  "But wouldn't you say, Mrs. Jones, that for you to give the lowest grade in the class to the very project that won first place, you must surely have found something wrong with it?"

  He faced her. Her expression was hard, but she was holding her hands together in front of her very tightly.

  Oh, yes, she's afraid. She's very much afraid. Because everything that Stevie told me was true.

  "Very well, Mr. Fletcher," she said, ending the silence at last. "I will tell you what was wrong with Stevie's project. It was the writ ten portion of the project, the report. The other children turned in reports of five or six pages. Stevie's report was only two pages."

  With great difficulty, Step controlled his rage. "Stevie's paper was typed. Was anyone else's paper typed?"

  "That hardly matters," she said.

  "They were all written in big letters, weren't they- like these papers on the board. Right?"

  "Of course. This is the second grade, Mr. Fletcher."

  "My rough count here gives me ... let's see ... about fifty or sixty words per page, handwritten. Is that right?"

  "Oh, I suppose."

  "But Stevie's paper was single-spaced, and that means he got between four and five hundred words to a page. So each of his pages was about the same amount
of content as-"

  "A page is a page!" said Mrs. Jones.

  "And the assignment sheet," said Step, "said nothing about a minimum number of pages."

  "Everyone else managed to figure out that four or five pages were required! And they didn't have their mothers type it for them-they used their own handwriting."

  "The assignment sheet didn't say anything about penmanship being part of the assignment," said Step. "So naturally Stevie thought he should do the same thing I did with my dissertation. He went to my computer, turned it on, brought up WordStar, and typed every letter of every word himself. Then he printed it out and stapled it- himself."

  "That was another problem," said Mrs. Jones. "The other children's reports all had very nice plastic covers, and your son's report was nothing but two sheets of paper with a staple. It showed a lack of respect."

  "The assignment sheet didn't mention a cover," said Step. "If it had, there would have been a cover. But in graduate school, you see, I turned in my papers with a staple in the corner. So of course Stevie thought that that was the grown- up way to do it. And in fact, Mrs. Jones, it is, isn't it? Surely you're not telling me that the difference between an A and a C is a twenty-nine-cent cover?"

  "Of course not," said Mrs. Jones. "It's just part of the difference."

  "Don't you think that computer literacy and college- level presentation should count for him rather than against him?"

  "Other children don't live in wealthy homes with computers in them, Mr. Fletcher. Other children don't have fathers who went to college. I'm hardly going to give one child an advantage over others because of money."

  "I'm not rich, Mrs. Jones. I work with computers for a living. I have a computer at home the way car salesmen sometimes bring new cars home." Watch it, Step. You're letting her sidetrack you. "What matters is that Stevie's paper was probably ten times as long as any of the other children's papers. He did all the work himself, and he did not violate the assignment sheet in any way. Now, why did the first-place project get a C in your class?"

  "I don't have to justify my grades to you or anyone else!" said Mrs. Jones.

  "Yes," said Step mildly. "In fact you do. You can justify it to me, today, or you can justify it before the school board."