THE TROUBLE WITH KISSING YOU

by Gen Phan

Brett threw his hands in the air, "Fucking Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah praise the baby Jesus!"

  "She's been right under my nose this whole time!"

  "Yup!"

  "I've been so fucking blind"

  "Yup!"

  "I've been such a dick!"

  "YUP!"

  "Oh my God, I'm totally in love with her." I jumped out of my seat, I knew exactly what I needed to do now. It was so obvious. End it with this stupid fantasy I was chasing and wake up to what was real. And Maria was real.

  "I've gotta go!" I half ran out of the door but turned around and hugged Brett first.

  "Thanks! I totally owe you!" And with that I was gone. I ran to Maria's house faster than I had ever ran before. I basically flew up the trellis and into her window. But when I got inside, she was flying in bed, fast asleep. She still had her headphones in and her iPod was still playing something.

  I walked over and sat down carefully on the bed so as not to wake her. Fuck she looked so beautiful. Why had I never realized how beautiful she was? I gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She didn't even stir and I decided I wasn't going to wake her. She looked too peaceful. But I was going to leave her a note. I found a piece of paper and scribbled the message down and then placed it on her bedside table. I wasn't sure if I should, but....

  I bent down on the floor until our faces were just cm's away and I leant forward. My lips touched her forehead, and I wanted to kiss her so badly. More than I'd ever wanted to kiss anyone before. More that the mint kisser even. I planted the softest kiss on her forehead and wondered if I should risk moving down to her lips. I didn't, instead I pulled her sheet back up and climbed back out the window. I walked home with the biggest smile on my face. The picture in my head was crystal clear now. All the fog and the mist had cleared and for the first time, I was seeing clearly.

  And tomorrow... everything was going to change.

  Maria

  "You, me, a MOFO of a pepperoni pizza tonight at you know where! I have something I want to say to you. X"

  I blinked a few times and stared at the note. My eyes were still sticky from sleep and I wasn't fully focusing yet either. Clearly it was from Mike, but when had he been here? And what did he want to say to me?

  My heart quickened. What if it was bad? What if he was going to tell me he was actually in love with the mystery mint kisser aka ME! What if he was going to tell me something worse, he's moving tomorrow to another state? I didn't like the sound of this at all, and why did he leave me a note and not wake me?

  My phone beeped and I imaged an early morning message from Jarrod asking me if I had decided to go to the dance with him or not.

  Mike: Morning. :) :) :)

  I glanced out my window and realized that Mike was sitting with his feet hanging out of it. He waved and smiled at me. I waved back in my sleepy state.

  Mike: Cute top. ;)

  Huh? I looked down and realized I was wearing my dads massive pajama top that had somehow found it's way into my cupboard. It had looked comfortable. It was.

  Mike: @--)-------

  What the hell was that? I looked at it a few times. What was with all these revolting emoticons. My sister used emoticons for Christ sake. Why the hell was Mike.... He was acting weird.

  Maria: What the hell is that?

  Mike: A rose.

  Maria: What you sending me weird emoticon roses?

  Mike: Cos I don't have a real one right now

  WHAT?! I stared at his message and blinked several times. What the fuck was up.

  Maria: Have you taken drugs?

  Mike: It certainly feels like it.

  Maria: What?

  I rushed to my window and pushed it open to get a better look at him. God, he did look like he had taken drugs, he looked all geeky, and strange and had a stupid smile plastered across his face.

  Maria: Seriously, are you okay?

  Mike: Never felt better in my entire life.

  Crap! I felt awful and not to mention beating- heart- stamped- into- fucking- floor. It was his tournament today and his mystery kisser had promised to be there. And he was probably hoping to get a glance of her.

  I forced a smile and a wave, not really sure what else to do. I hope Brett was right and this thing could just stay dead, that he never needed to know about it. I had lied to him, but I was still lying by not telling him. And just as I was thinking about him another message popped onto my screen.

  Brett: Remember, she's dead and buried! And she's not a vampire. Keep her dead and forget about her.

  Huh? What was going on this morning? Why was everyone acting like they had smoked pot?

  Mike: So tonight? ;)

  Semi-colon bracket?

  Maria: Seriously, are you okay? <_()*&<: whatever.

  Mike: Hahaha. That's what I love about you. You're so funny. :^* See you at school.

  Mike climbed back into the window and gave one last wave. Frankly I was confused. Perhaps even slightly concerned. I decide to message Brett.

  Maria: Why are you and Mike acting weird this morning?

  Brett: Mmmm, you'll just have to wait and see ;)

  What the fuck was with these semi-colon-bracket things!?! And what the hell was going on. I was vaguely irritated by the time I got down to breakfast. More irritated when breakfast was served, and even more so when I realized it was my death-wish sisters turn to drive. My death wish sister seemed to be very dark and twisty this morning, from the second I came downstairs.

  "So... you and Jarrod are just the cutest." She said to me at the breakfast table.

  My mom looked up at me over her veganlicious latte, "Are you and Jarrod dating again. How lovely. He's such a nice boy. Good family. His father is the CEO of an investment company. Very respectable."

  "No. And NO, Jarrod and I have never dated. We were study buddies-"

  "With benefits!" McKenzie murmured under her voice.

  "We never dated and I am not dating him now!" I flipped around to her and glared.

  "AHH, of course, I forgot, you're so in love with Mike that you could never date anyone else. Silly me." She smiled at me and something about that specific smile turned my insides. How had she become so cruel?

  "I'm walking to school!" I got up from the table and left, not able to get out of there fast enough. I knew that walking would make me late, but I didn't care. What day of the week was it? Friday the th? Was there a full moon happening tonight?

  There was just something about this day that was leaving me feeling queasy. I had this sense that something was just not right, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I had a sense that something big was about to happen. I arrived a good minutes after the bell had rung. I jogged up the stairs but as I had almost reached the top, I felt a hand tug at my arm. I stumbled back and two hands caught me.

  "Where you going?" It was Mike. Still with that stupid smile on his face, still with that spaced-out Zombie look.

  "Uh... to class, you should be too."

  "I was waiting for you."

  And then the fucking weirdest thing happened! And it stopped my world.

  No, it stopped all existence in the universe, and any other multiverse that may exist too.

  Mike wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close to him. I gasped at the sudden closeness. His whole body was pressed up against mine and his face was just cm's away. And he was staring at me. His stare was so intense, it cut right through me, it was as if he was trying to communicate something telepathically. His hand slipped down and rested on my lower back, just like the night we had kissed.

  "Um...." I half muttered/ whispered/ gasped.

  Um what?" He also seemed to be mumble gasp whispering.

  "What... is.... Wh... w...what are you doing?" A tiny sound escaped my mouth as his hand moved in circles on my lower back.

  "What I should have done years ago...."

  And then he wrapped a second arm around me. He leaned towards me. His eyes were focused on my lips and I could not believe that th
is was actually happening. This was happening! I was still dreaming. I must be asleep. I was dead and this was the afterlife, because it looked like Mike Matthews was about to kiss me. I closed my eyes. I had been waiting for this moment for ten years, technically I had already kissed him, but not as myself. I shivered when I felt his lips come into contact with-

  BRIIINNNNGGG

  The sound of the bell made us both jump and scuttle in opposite directions. We were standing right under it and the sound was so loud that we both put our hands over our years.

  Mike started to move towards and I followed him inside.

  "Mike Mathews and Maria Glover." I didn't need to look around, the voice belonged to Mr. crab. Well, that's what we called him anyway. "Get to class you two."

  I turned and looked at Mike with desperation. His eyes met mine with the same look.

  "Now!" He raised his voice a little louder.

  I didn't want to leave him. Not now, not when we had come so close. I continued to look at him and he me.

  "Do you both want detention this afternoon?"

  That made Mike break out of it. He had a match this afternoon.

  "No sir. On our way." Mike shot me one last smile before running off down the corridor, my first class was in the opposite direction and I ran too. But as soon as I was out of crab's eye I stopped running and leant against the wall. Out of breath. Heart racing. Every nerve in my body screaming. In shock. Joy. Ecstasy. WTF?

  I wanted to scream. Or to cry. Fucking sing and dance and slide down a fireman pole. Had Mike just tried to kiss me? Had he just tried to...

  My pocket vibrated and I pulled my phone out.

  Mike: In case you're confused. Yes, I was trying to kiss you.

  I gasped, raised both my hands to my mouth and my phone went tumbling to the floor. I didn't even bother to pick it up, I just stood there and stared straight ahead of me. This was happening.

  This was actually happening!

  This was the happiest day of my life. The happiest moment of my entire existence, and I had a feeling I had Brett to thank for it.

  Mike

  This was so perfect, I didn't want anything to jeopardize it. So I knew exactly what I needed to do. I just didn't want to do it in a way that would result in me getting slapped across the face, or worse. And since Brett seemed to be the relationship 'go-to' guy, I managed to grab him in-between class.

  "Brett... you have to help me, please."

  "Haven't I helped you enough for an entire life time?"

  "You have, but I have one last request."

  "And what might that be?"

  "I need you to help me break-up with mystery mint kisser. I mean... not break-up, we weren't together... it was just flirting and... you know what I mean?" I said holding my phone in my shaking hand.

  "And how would you like me to do that?" Brett stopped walking and turned to face me.

  "I need to send her an email. But what do I say? I don't want to hurt her feelings or....shit Brett, what do I say. I don't want to mess this thing with Maria up when it is just starting!"

  "What do they say about honesty... best policy, setting you free and all that shit. I'd start there." Brett started walking again and I grabbed him by the arm and stopped him again.

  "But what do I say? Please!" I begged.

  He shrugged. "Not sure. I guess this is not something you can Google either. 'How to sort-of break-up with the strange girl that kissed you in the dark' It's probably not high up there on the search engine."

  "But... but..." The pure unadulterated panic must have shown on my face, because for a moment there, his eyes looked sympathetic. He laid a reassuring arm on my shoulder.

  "You'll be fine. Just tell her the truth." And with that he walked off. I was lucky our teacher was late for class, so it gave me a few extra minutes to compose and email. But as I wrote it, I was aware that MMK might actually be sitting in the same classroom as me. That would be fucking awkward!

  Honesty. Honesty.

  To: Yourmysterykisser@gmail.com

  Subject: Good bye

  Message: Hi there, I know this mail will probably come as a shock, and this whole thing has been a shock to me too. Something happened the other night that made me realize that I am absolutely, totally and madly in love with someone else and always have been. I know we have been messaging each other, but I'm going to have to put an end to it. I will always be grateful for all the advice and help you gave me over my parents divorce, and I'll never forget our kiss in the dark. But I have to go with my heart, and my heart belongs to someone else. I am sorry, and wish you all the best.

  Mike.

  My heart pounded as I read over the message again. It sounded so weird, formal almost. I closed my eyes and pressed send, hoping I wouldn't hear an email notification sound. I pressed send and waited. I felt bad. But I had to do was was right. I had to do what my heart was telling me to, and that was Maria. It would always be Maria. I knew that now.

  I didn't hear a beep and I almost melted into the floor with relief. Good sign. But seconds after I sent the mail, I got a response. It was an error report. No such email address. What? What did that mean? That Mystery Mint Kisser had deleted her account. Why?

  I had a sudden vision of her deleting it because she had decided to reveal herself to me today at tennis. Or, she wasn't into me anymore. I was hoping for the second option. Praying for the second option, because if it was number one, and she decided it was time to meet face-to-face, that would be a problem. A big problem.

  Class went by in a horrid daze, I couldn't concentrate at all. All I wanted to do was kiss Maria. That was all I could think about. Every second was consumed with thoughts of her. But as cruel fate would have it, it was that one day we didn't have classes together. I would see her from time to time in the corridor. The tension between us when we caught each others eyes was so intense that it felt like it filled the entire corridor. I wondered how now one else could feel it. It was electric. Like the air was set on fire every single time I saw her face.

  At once stage I managed to maneuver myself close enough to her that I was able to brush against her hand with mine, and for a second, I wrapped by finger around hers. I was desperate for lunch to come along so I could slide up to her. This time, we weren't going to stay there, because I was planning on taking her somewhere quiet where we could finish what we'd started this morning.

  But all those ideas where soon crushed when our couch informed us that the scout needed to be somewhere else that afternoon, and only had limited time to watch us play. He wanted us to play the knock out rounds during lunch, get them out of the way so there would only be semi-finals and finals that afternoon. I couldn't believe I had barely thought about the tournament all day. The most important tournament of my life. I had to get focused.

  **

  Winning the tournament will go down as the best, and worst moment ever. How can something be both the best and worst at the same time?

  I'd killed Chase in the knockouts, I'd barely broken a sweat, hardly had to run a meter. I think he was nervous, because his match temperament was completely out. I think the presence on the scout walking back and forth on the other side of the fence threw him. I actually felt sorry for him, it was arguably the worst game of tennis I'd ever seen him play. But it had given me that extra bit of confidence to walk into the Semi's and walk all over my next opponent. The cherry on top was the message I got from Maria just before stepping onto court again for the final.

  Maria: You're playing really well, and as soon as you've won, there's something I want to give you. X X

  My heart skipped numerous beats. Maria just telling me that she wanted to kiss me, was a million times better than any real kiss I could get in the dark. I walked onto the court and I glanced up. Maria had a naughty look plastered across her face and bit her bottom lip... fucking hell.

  I tried not to thing about it as I won the serve and readied myself. I looked up and few times during the match, and couldn't help but
be transported to just about the happiest place I'd ever been every time I saw her. I was tempted to blow her a kiss, but I still had a vague reputation to uphold.

  My dad was also there. He'd spent the entire match standing. Even though there were open seats. I'm sure I could have psychoanalyzed that if I had given a shit. But I didn't. I sort of floated through the match, not really relying on my brain to get me through it. I was relying solely on my muscle memory that had been honed over the years, during hundreds of hours of practice. Thanks God for that. Because my brain was somewhere else entirely today. And as I hit the last shot of the game, an overhead volley that had so much kick it flew over the back fence; I knew I had this in the bag. I also noticed that the scout got onto the phone and looked like he was having a very serious and intense conversation with someone.

  But I didn't care. I didn't fall to the ground or punch the air or first pump. I ran off the court straight for Maria. Ready to grab her by the hand and run. I wanted to get away from everyone so it would just be us. I locked eyes with her and she was the only person in the crowd that existed. That is, until McKenzie walked in front of me and stopped me dead in her tracks.

  And this is where it becomes the worst day too.

  "Well done! Oh my God, you were amazing." She threw her arms around me and hugged me. I don't think we'd ever hugged before and she held on for what seemed like ages. To say I was confused, would be an understatement.

  "I guess I was your lucky charm after all."

  Her words slammed into me as hard as the potent smell of mint and hot cinnamon coming from her mouth. But instead of thinking that this was the best smell on earth, it made me sick to my stomach. It made my head spin. I looked up from McKenzie to Maria, who was now approaching me fast.

  What the fuck?

  The moment turned surreal and dreamy. No, nightmarish. The crowd blurred and the noises of the clapping faded away. I looked up at McKenzie and she nodded. She smiled and opened her mouth to say something again, I didn't know what she said. Her mouth was moving, but my only sense that was working was my sense of smell, cinnamon, mint. Mint, cinnamon. It was everywhere. It filled the air. It felt like I was going to suffocate in it.