by Clara Bayard
“How?”
“Because it wouldn’t be an epic love story. It would be a trashy tale of me acting like a glorified groupie.”
“Impossible. You’re a star!”
“Yeah, but he’s a bigger star. And if everyone on the planet knows we slept together, and then sees him with ten girls in every city, I’m humiliated.”
She thought for a moment before answering. “Well, we could go for sympathy, I suppose.”
“Wouldn’t work.” I was getting in the groove now. Figuring out how to spin it to get her to do what I wanted. “No one would believe I was heartbroken. They’d think I was just a bitter starfucker doing anything to kickstart her flagging career.”
“Oh. Hmm, yes. I can see that bent to the story. We wouldn’t want that. Are you sure you couldn’t just date him for a few weeks?”
I wondered that myself, but didn’t mention it. Whether or not there was anything in the future between me and Rick, there couldn’t be anything in public. I couldn’t risk it. And I’d never admit I might even consider it to her.
“Nope. It was a one-time thing.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. And, as much as I hate talking to my mother about this, I gotta tell you, it wasn’t even that great. I really wouldn’t bother hooking up with him again.” That was a lie so big I thought the glittery ceiling might fall down on my head.
“Oh, I see.” She grinned like we were girlfriends giggling about boys. Gross.
“Yeah, so you get it, right? We can’t let anyone know about this.”
She sighed. “I suppose you’re right. It’s a shame, really. Are there any other boys in the band you think are handsome?”
“No. But I haven’t met all the guys in Playology yet,” I added sarcastically.
She shook her head. “No, they won’t do. It would have to be Dream Defiled. They’re the big get. No go?”
“No go, sorry. Rick just didn’t do it for me, if you know what I mean.”
She chuckled. “Oh, I do. I could tell you stories.”
“Please don’t.” I was about to add that I might puke if she continued, but looking behind her, I saw a figure turning to head in the other direction. A tall man with a long stride and a sweet ass I’d never forget. Rick. And from the tightness in his broad shoulders, he’d heard the whole conversation.
I froze, feeling conflicted. Part of me wanted to follow him, explain what I was doing. But I couldn’t. My mother had barely agreed to respect my wishes and me running after Rick like a love-sick schoolgirl wouldn’t exactly fit with the story I’d just told her. Not to mention, what would I even say to him – “Sorry about saying you were bad in the sack, I was just manipulating my mother”? Nope. Wouldn’t work. And besides, it wasn’t any worse than the things he said about everyone all the time. He could stand to take dose of his own poison for once. But somewhere deep in my heart, I felt bad. Didn’t want him to think I really felt that way.
“So, are you working or just going to stand in this hallway all night?”
My mother’s words jolted me back to reality. “Sorry, yeah. Um, see you later.”
“Don’t overdo it in there. Your voice needs to rest.”
“Uh-huh.” I rolled my eyes. She didn’t know shit about my voice, but just thought that was good caring-sounding advice. I left her and went around the corner, holding my breath. But Rick wasn’t there. And when I went inside the theater, it was empty except for a guy sweeping.
I went onstage, waved at the maintenance guy and kicked off my shoes before running through the choreography for “Passionate Blood,” mentally reviewing of things I needed to go over with my band and the stage crew.
After half a dozen runs or so, I decided to try it actually singing out to see how it felt. By the second chorus I knew there was an issue. The choreographer had outlined a section where I’d stand in a spotlight right at the edge of the stage, close enough to touch the front row, but to get there in time I’d have to run and this stage was much smaller than the ones I’d be performing on.
“Shit,” I said to myself, struggling to figure out a solution. I could start over there sooner, but would have to put down my guitar in the middle of a section I needed to play. That wouldn’t work. Sighing, I went over to my purse and scribbled down some notes. This is what I got for not hiring the choreographer for the entire time we were in rehearsals.
I tried it again, shifting the whole song closer to the end of the stage. And, finally, I was able to finish the verse, “Knocked down, dragged down, beaten down,” in time. I mimed placing my guitar in its stand and hummed the instrumental section before the chorus, striding over to my spot. It could work. I’d need to be careful, but it could work.
Proud of myself for getting it together and happy for the distraction, I decided I deserved the rest of the night off. And I didn’t want to spend it alone. I grabbed my stuff and slipped back into my shoes and headed out to find something fun to do.
My first stop was my favorite bar in the hotel. It was dark and fairly quiet. Mostly groups of people minding their own business in their booths, paying no attention to what was going on around them. A great place. But, tonight it was really crowded. I got a beer from the bartender, but after getting bumped into three times before I could finish it, I decided to head elsewhere.
Next I tried one of the bigger places upstairs. It wasn’t even ten yet, so things were relatively calm. I skirted the dance floor and ordered a shot, knocking it back in one go before looking around the room. I’d checked every corner before I realized I was looking for Rick.
“No. Hell, no.” I said, turning to order another drink. I was sipping that one when a hand landed on my shoulder.
“Julia!”
I wheeled around and smiled. “Hey, Joe.”
“What are you doing here all by yourself?” The band’s lead singer grinned and gestured for the bartender to make him another of what I was having. He was casual in jeans and a faded t-shirt, his spiky hair still vertical, but not as full of product as it usually was. Joe Hawk off-duty.
“Nothing, just grabbing a drink. I was feeling a little restless.”
He laughed. “I know exactly what you mean. I’ve been climbing the walls all day. It’s the tour. I just want to start already.”
“Yeah,” I agreed.
He got his drink and we clinked glasses. “To getting on with it.”
I laughed. “Something like that. So, what are you doing in here?”
He shrugged. “I was having a drink with Dex and Becca. But they decided to turn in early.” Joe waggled his eyebrows comically.
“Nice. You must be jealous. That your girlfriend isn’t here…Melissa, right?”
“Yup, my Liss. I talked to her this morning. I was hoping to sneak away this weekend back East to see her. Clear my head before the insanity begins.”
“That would be good. I know it’s hard to be apart, but it must be nice sometimes, too. To have somewhere else to be. Someplace to hide.”
He peered down at me seriously. “Yeah. I forgot you’ve been in this game a long time. You know how it is.”
“Sure do. I love it. Wouldn’t want to do anything else but…”
“But sometimes it fucking blows.”
I laughed again. “Yes. Sometimes it does.” I glanced around, smiling.
“Looking for someone?” Joe asked.
“What? No. Just uh, you know. Checking the crowd.”
“Uh-huh. Want another drink?”
“Sure, why not. I’m not keeping you, am I?”
“Nah. I’m just gonna get a little drunk, go back to my room and call my girl. She sounds so cute when I wake her up.”
“Good thing I’m not your girlfriend. Nothing cute about me cursing you out for interrupting my sleep.”
“Ha, I bet.” Joe clapped me on the shoulder and leaned against the bar next to me. “Julia, I gotta say, I’m really glad you’re here. The music’s great and all, but I’m glad you’re a cool chick. It
’s gonna be a long couple of months and it’ll be a lot more fun with everyone getting along.”
I sensed there was something pointed in his comment, but couldn’t imagine what he was referring to. Unless Rick had said something. But, I doubted that. Considering all the shit he’d apparently given Joe and Dex for being with their girls, it seemed unlikely he’d mention what happened with us. Not that I cared. Or wondered if he had. Or thought about what he might have said. Nope, hadn’t even crossed my mind.
I shrugged it off and drank some more.
An hour later I was a bit tipsy and really happy I’d run into Joe. I knew he was charismatic, but he was also a really good guy. Funny and silly, and so in love it kind of made me want to cry.
So in love that he had to ditch me to call his girlfriend on the phone before he passed out. After grabbing a bottle of bourbon from the bartender – on the house, of course – he kissed me on the cheek, flashed a crooked smile and stumbled off to find his hotel room.
I followed soon after, but skipped the to-go bottle. Once in the elevator I distracted myself with plans of room service. They made a heavenly cheesecake and I needed one, desperately. But as the car climbed, I realized that was not the indulgence I really wanted. When the doors opened at my floor I pushed another button and stayed inside.
Finally, I stepped off and into a hallway, debating with myself the whole way down to the end. I knocked on the door and almost fled before anyone could answer. I hesitated, muttering to myself, unable to resolve to stay or go. But just as I was turning away, the door opened.
Rick stood there, in just a towel. His skin was wet and gleaming. So much skin.
“I…Hi,” I croaked pathetically.
He frowned. “What are you doing here?”
“Nothing. Um, just saying hello.”
The frown shifted into a smirk. “You’re drunk.”
“Little. So what?”
“So nothing. Just making an observation. Do you want to come in or just stand there staring at me?”
“I…I’m not sure.”
He sighed and ran his hand over his head. My mouth dropped open at the sight of his body in motion. Muscles stretching and contracting.
“Do you have any booze in there?”
“Of course.” He stepped aside to let me pass, careful not to touch me, and my face fell. “Make yourself at home.”
“Thanks,” I replied, glumly. I hadn’t really thought out this visit very clearly, but it didn’t seem to be going well. I plopped down on the loveseat in the living area and looked around. “Nice room.”
“Yeah. Booze on the bar and beers in the fridge. I’ll just put some clothes on.”
I stood up quickly. “Don’t.”
Rick chuckled.
I felt myself blush. “I mean, shit. That’s not what I meant. If you’re busy or whatever I can just go. I…I don’t even know why I’m here.”
He walked over to me, one hand holding the towel closed low around his slim hips. That little vee of muscle drawing my eye to what I couldn’t see, but could remember vividly, hidden beneath the plush terrycloth.
Rick stepped close, his nearly naked body less than an inch from mine. He leaned down to speak close to my face. “I don’t know why you’re here either, Julia. Normally I’d think you came to play. But from what I’ve heard recently, I’m a lousy lay.”
I prayed silently for the floor to open up and swallow me whole. I’d almost forgotten.
“Rick…”
“Nah,” he said, backing up. “It’s cool. I thought we had a good time together. But obviously I was wrong.”
“No, you weren’t. It was…good.” Understatement of the year.
He laughed. “Not exactly a glowing review, sweetheart.”
“I’m sorry!” I blurted. “You know I didn’t mean that. I was just...” I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. It isn’t true. And I think you know that.”
He looked at me, face expressionless.
“Fine. Okay, fine. Whatever. Be a dick. I’ll just go if you’re going to just humiliate me like this.”
He stalked over and grabbed my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. “Me? I’m humiliating you? Jesus, you’ve got some nerve, girl. First you make me hide in your bathroom and shove me out the door. And then, after ignoring me for days, you’re gossiping about me in the hallway where anyone could hear. You are not the injured party, here.”
My first instinct was to snap back at him, but I took two deep breaths instead. “You’re right. And I really am sorry. It was shitty of me. I have my reasons but they don’t matter. I apologize.”
He just stared at me for a long moment before releasing me and crossing his arms. I struggled to keep from drooling at the vision of masculine strength that were his arms and chest. “Apology accepted.”
“Thanks,” I whispered.
“Want to tell me why you’re here?”
“I don’t have a reason. I just kind of ended up here.”
“Hmm. Okay. Well, is there anything else?”
“Huh?”
He gestured down at his body. “I was showering. Getting ready to go out. If you’re not here for something, I’ll get back to it.”
I closed my eyes and turned away from him. I never should have knocked on his door.
“You can’t even say it, can you? Can’t admit why you’re here?”
I replied without facing him. “I told you. I don’t know why I’m here.”
He stepped up behind me, the heat of his bog body warming me in more ways than one. “I know why.”
“So tell me. Why am I here?”
“For the same reason I was getting dressed and about to head down to your room.”
I exhaled, feeling dizzy. Whether it was his words or the booze or the smell of his skin, I felt the need to sit down suddenly.
Swallowing a few times to soothe my dry throat, I asked him, “Why is that?”
Rick put his hands on my shoulders and then ran them down my arms. “Because of this.”
I shuddered under his touch. My god, no one had ever had such an effect on me. “And what is this?”
“Fuck if I know, Julia. And I don’t really care. All I know is I like it. And I want it. And so do you.”
I didn’t say anything. I just turned and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss so hard it bruised my lips. I ran my hands across his back, enjoying the way his muscles tightened under my touch.
Rick groaned against my mouth and dragged me backwards to the loveseat and into his lap. With only the towel covering him, I could feel his excitement grow hot, hard and straining. He reached around to unzip my dress and tugged the sleeves down, revealing my bra. He cupped a heaving mound and rubbed his thumb over the tight peak.
I sighed softly and arched into his touch as he bent to kiss my neck. He sucked lightly and then moved on, gliding his tongue over my skin down to my breasts. He licked and sucked and nibbled, varying the pace and strength of each tiny torture in time with the noises of pleasure that slipped from my lips.
“I’m going to devour you,” he whispered against my neck.
Rick grabbed my hips and rolled us so I was trapped under his body, pressed hard into the plush leather. He captured my mouth, swirling his tongue over mine powerfully. I kissed him back with equal passion, letting the fire between us engulf me completely. His leg slipped between my thighs and he inched my dress up out of the way. The towel was long gone now and his bare skin was hot against mine.
I moaned and dug my fingers into the bunched muscles of his lower back. He slid a finger inside my panties and rubbed at the damp heat there. Nerve-endings from my head to my toes came alive and my hips tilted up hungrily. “Yes, more. I need more.”
THREE
With a growl, Rick tore the side of my underwear and shoved them out of the way. He fumbled blindly for something on the table beside us and then was back giving me his full attention. He kissed a line down between my breasts and over my
stomach, sucking at the soft, pliant flesh. With the tip of his thumb he teased my clit, the pressure against the tiny bud sent shockwaves of pleasure through me.
“Rick,” I breathed, unable to say anything else.
He chuckled and shifted our positions enough to lift one of my legs up over his shoulder before pressing the wide head of his member against me. I smiled at his ability to apply a condom without me noticing and then gasped as he pushed inside, sheathing himself in my slick heat fast and hard.
Our gazes met and locked and he pulled back only to thrust forward again. My vision blurred but I never stopped looking into his green eyes, dark with desire. He used all of his strength to drive into me again and again, making me scream and writhe under him. Constantly adjusting angle and speed, he dragged a climax from me – sharp and fast enough to take my breath away.
I yelled and scratched deep lines down his arms with my nails, but neither of us really noticed until later. My body shook uncontrollably and everything inside me tightened and released again and again.
While I was still riding waves of ecstasy, Rick drove inside one last time and shuddered before collapsing onto me. He slid down, letting his head rest between my breasts. I listened to the dueling sounds of our labored breathing and smiled, letting my eyes slide closed.
“Are you falling asleep?” he asked.
“No. Just basking in the afterglow.”
Rick laughed. “Okay. Don’t let me disturb you.”
“You’re not.”
“Well, thanks. Since it seems I’m enjoying how you stomp all over my ego, want to tell me what that scene was with your manager – uh, mother?”
“Not really. But I will.” And I explained. About her plan to tell any press outlet who’d listen about us and how I’d figured out the only way to make her keep her mouth shut. He was surprisingly understanding about it and actually laughed, even telling me a funny story about his parents catching him with a girl in his bedroom in high school. It was a weird and kind of wonderful moment.
Rick sat up eventually, and looked at me. His gaze raked over every inch of my body. I was about to say something sarcastic when I noticed he was growing thick and hard again.
