I had to take a deep breath and count to five before I went clean the fuck off. “Something has got to change, because I can’t keep living like this. The drinking, mood swings, and the accusations. All that has got to stop!” I hollered loud enough for the entire block to hear. There were a couple employees of WJPC coming out of the building. They stopped and were staring at us. “What the hell are y’all looking at?” I screamed. Luckily they had sense enough to keep it moving.
Donovan stared at me dumbfounded for several seconds like he couldn’t believe I had flipped out. Trust and believe, I’m from the hood and can get down and dirty with the best of them, but clowning my husband out in public was not one of them. Big Mama raised me better than that.
By the time a car peeled out of the parking lot, I had finally got my breathing slowed down. Donovan sighed and dragged a frustrated hand across his face. I was so mad at him the last thing I wanted to hear was his excuses. “Baby—”
I threw my hands up in the air. “Go ahead and get in on the passenger’s side. You can bring me to get my car in the morning.” I was too through with him. While he dragged his feet around to the other side, I got in behind the wheel. As soon as I looked back at my little angel who was sleeping peacefully, I got angry all over again. Thank goodness Aiden was too young to know what was going on. Donovan climbed in and shut the door, then turned on the seat. The fire was gone from his eyes and his gaze held so much pain I wanted to cry.
“Listen, baby, I—”
I held up a hand, cutting him off. “Save it for in the morning after you sleep it off. Right now I’m too pissed off to listen to shit you gotta say.” I put the SUV in Drive and headed home. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could go on because I was emotionally exhausted. Yet I had a strong feeling that this was just the beginning.
10
Trinette
The second we pulled into the circular driveway in front of the double doors of a two-story brick home, my best friend hurried down the steps to greet us.
“Hey, Netta!” she cried.
Smiling, I stepped out of the car and removed the sunglasses from my eyes. “Whassup, Nikki!”
My best friend, Nichole Truth, was a beautiful woman with dark mahogany skin, itty bitty breasts, and wide hips. Ever since giving birth to Aiden she’d packed on a few extra pounds around the middle, but she was still cute as hell. Nikki had been rocking locks for years, and they looked like they had been recently cut and barely brushed her shoulders. It was good to see that even though I wasn’t around, my girl was still keeping it cute. I threw my arms around her and squeezed tightly. She had no idea how happy I was to see her.
Before I moved to Virginia, we used to see each other practically every day. I lived in St. Louis most of my life and loved that my girl had only been a car ride away with a bottle of Moscato chilling in the refrigerator.
“What took y’all so long?” Nikki asked as I released her.
I rolled my eyes so she’d know I was clearly annoyed. “Girl, we got delayed in Atlanta. I hate that airport.”
“Well, I’m just glad you finally made it.” She looked down at my belly and started grinning. I guess she never expected to see the day Trinette Montgomery lost her waistline. She ain’t the only one. Neither did I. “Look at that belly. I still can’t believe you’re pregnant.”
“Yeah, me and you both,” I mumbled. I was dying to say more, but my husband was climbing out of the car.
Leon looked over the top at the two of us and grinned. “What’s up, Nikki?”
“What’s going on, Daddy?”
He started cheesing all proud. Fatherhood had made him a happy man and Mama an even happier woman. I was already four months’ pregnant and haven’t had to want for anything.
Nikki hurried around the rental car and wrapped her arms around Leon. They had always been close. “I’m so glad to see you two!” she squealed. I don’t think I’ve seen her that happy in a long time. She was practically grinning from ear to ear.
“Where’s Don?” Leon asked.
I noticed the frown on Nikki’s lips when he mentioned her husband’s name. “He’s in the bathroom getting dressed.” She then smiled and changed the subject. “Grab your bags and come on inside. Don was waiting until you got here before he threw a few steaks on the grill.”
Leon rubbed his belly. “Mmm. I can’t wait. I’m starved.”
“Then follow me inside. I just made some potato salad.” Nikki came around and hugged me again, then gazed into the back seat. “Goodness, Netta, how long are you planning to stay?” she teased when she saw I had two rolling Louis Vuitton suitcases and a tote bag.
“You know how I do. I can never make up my mind what I want to wear, so I brought extra just in case.” Did she really think after all these years I was going to change?
Nikki shook her head the way my mother used to do. “Just wait until you have a baby on one hip and a diaper bag on your shoulder.”
“Whatever.” I shuddered at the idea. That’s what a nanny was for. “Don’t worry about our bags. Leon and I decided to stay at the Hampton Inn up the street.”
Her head whipped around and she looked clearly offended. “What? Y’all too good to stay at our house?”
Leon held up his hands. “No, it’s nothing like that. I just want to spend the entire weekend making love to my wife and running around the room naked.”
Nikki scrunched up her nose, then laughed. “Okay, that is too much information. I guess I can understand y’all wanting to get your freak on while you still can.”
I kept my comments to myself. Lately, sex with Leon had improved. He found my changing body such a turn-on. Every time he saw me naked, he commented on how big my breasts were getting; then he wanted to squeeze and suck on them and the next thing I knew, we were sexing it up for the next hour. I felt so guilty about my relationship with Jrue and the paternity of my unborn child that I just let him have it whenever and how often he wanted it. I mean, come on. It’s the least I could do.
“Where’s my godson?” I asked as we stepped into her house.
“Girl, he’s taking a nap. And don’t you go waking him up either. He’s teething and been cranky all morning.”
“I can’t wait to see that little rugrat.” Ms. Netta loved kids just as long as they belonged to someone else.
I glanced around the house admiring her large foyer and the spacious living room beside it. Nikki had a nice big house. Not as nice as mine, but definitely a far cry better than that little house she’d sold last year. They were now living in West County in a two-story house with four bedrooms and three baths. I guess years of hard work were finally starting to pay off. Definitely not something I knew anything about. Hard work was Leon’s responsibility, not mine.
I followed her into the kitchen and almost screamed out loud when I saw Donovan leaning over the sink. What the hell? The last time I had seen him was six months ago when Nikki had organized a surprise welcome home party. Leon and I flew in for the celebration. Damn. Since then he had lost so much weight his jeans were hanging off his hips, and not in a good way. His face looked sunken in, and for him to be a barber, that nappy stuff on his head was a hot mess.
“What’s up, Netta?” he greeted me with a bear hug. One sniff and there was no mistaking the tequila on his breath. Trust me, I would know. It used to be my drink of choice, and my pregnant ass has been fienin’ for a shot of Patron.
“Hey, Don,” I muttered, then eased out of his grasp and looked him in the eye. “How have you been?”
He gave me this sad-looking smile and I noticed the dark circles underneath his eyes. “I can’t complain,” he said with a chuckle that I’ve loved for over twenty years.
I looked over at Nikki and noticed the scowl across her face. I figured he’d done something to piss her off. Okay, what’s really going on?
Leon stepped into the kitchen and Donovan’s face lit up like fireworks on the Fourth of July. “Whassup, boy!” He hurried over and the tw
o hugged and gave dap.
I knew it was rude, but I couldn’t stop looking at Donovan. This was the man I used to be jealous about. He had once been so sexy. Now the finest dude from the hood looked like he had just gotten out of rehab. I remembered when I used to have the biggest crush on Donovan in elementary school, yet the only woman he had ever wanted was Nikki.
“Nikki, baby . . . Grab that bottle of Cuervo from under the sink.”
She sucked her teeth. “Don . . . isn’t it a little early to be drinking?”
At first his eyes flashed with anger like he was about to explode, but then he gave that silly smirk of his. “It’s never too early to celebrate with my man.” Ignoring her, Donovan walked around the island, reached under the sink, and removed a half-empty bottle of tequila. I noticed the worried look in Nikki’s eyes.
“My man, let’s have a drink and toast the new baby!” Don was already reaching into the cabinet removing two small glasses. “Netta, girl! When’s that baby due?” he asked.
“Not soon enough,” I mumbled, and tried to pretend I was tickled, for Leon’s sake. “Nikki, what you got to eat? I’m starving.” I glanced over at her. She was still staring at her husband. I was starting to think that maybe she and Donovan had a fight before our arrival. “Nikki, concentrate!” I snapped my finger in front of her face and she startled. “Food . . . please . . . your godchild’s hungry.”
“Oh, damn, right.” She gave a nervous laugh. “Snacks coming right up.” She grabbed a bag of potato chips, poured them into a large bowl, and put them in front of me, then grabbed a jar of French onion dip from the pantry. It wasn’t what I had in mind, but I guess it would do until dinner.
I walked over to a barstool and took a seat. The four of us hung out in the kitchen talking and laughing, although with every passing second Nikki looked more upset than she had when we first stepped into the room. She stood off to the side with a weird look on her face, laughing off cue and barely contributing to the conversation even when the subject returned to my baby.
“Nikki, you okay?”
She nodded her head. “Sure, girl, I’m fine.” Liar. “I just can’t get over you being pregnant.” Okay, maybe that part was true because hell, I hadn’t gotten over it either.
Leon was walking across the kitchen with his skinny chest stuck out. “Yeah, we’re getting pretty excited about the baby. I think Netta’s bought out the entire store.”
This time when Nikki’s head whipped around her smile had returned. “Oooh! Did you find out the sex of the baby?”
I shook my head. “No . . . not yet.”
Leon moved beside me and gave me a loud wet one on the cheek. “We were thinking about keeping it a surprise, aren’t we, baby?”
I stuffed another chip in my mouth to keep from answering. I guess that was true. It would be a surprise. I would find out the sex and the baby’s daddy all in the same day. Now how fucked up was that?
I was chewing on chips and watching Donovan as he passed Leon a glass. “Man, you better enjoy your sleep while you still can, because it’s all about to change, dawg!” He started laughing real loud, then brought the glass to his lips and downed its contents, then reached for the bottle and poured himself another. Nikki was mumbling something under her breath that I couldn’t make out.
I know Nikki had said that Donovan had been acting strange since he had gotten home, but I had no idea it had gotten this bad. I had planned to take her in the other room and find out just what the hell was going on, but for now, I needed to find something to eat other than potato chips.
11
Nikki
We were in my car, heading to the grocery store for pickles and barbecue sauce, when Trinette asked, “What’s going on with Donovan?”
Leave it to Trinette to get straight to the point. Her eyes were locked on mine as she waited. I focused on the road while I tried to think about my answer. “He’s just trying to adjust.”
“Adjust? Girl, since when is Don an alcoholic?”
Already, I was starting to regret her coming up to spend the Fourth of July weekend with us. I knew he had issues, but it wasn’t that bad. “He’s still having some troubles adjusting to being back at home.”
“Some? Girl, your husband is a freaking lush. I ain’t ever seen him drink like that before. I hate to say it, but he reminds me of his father.”
I knew what she was saying was true. Don’s father had been an alcoholic who abused his kids until they all had found a way to escape. Donovan said it was because Brown had never gotten over his wife, Donovan’s mother, being murdered in an alley on her way home from work. I always believed his illness ran deeper than that. The way he used to beat Donovan until he broke skin and then put him out of the house for days, there had to be some serious mental issues brewing. At one time, Donovan refused to drink because he was afraid he would end up just like Brown. Yet after Mimi was killed, he started drinking. However, it had never been this much.
I tried to make excuses, even blamed it on the war; but no matter how I spun it, my husband drank way too much. He was depressed and I read that alcohol only made it worse. I didn’t know what to do and had almost been tempted to call Trinette and cancel the trip, but I was so lonely and missed my girl so much that I couldn’t do it.
“He’s going through a lot, Netta,” I said all nonchalant.
“You told me that, but I had no idea it was this bad.”
I stopped my car at the light and took a deep breath.
“Nikki, really, what’s going on? Come on, it’s me . . . Netta . . . you’re talking to. Something is seriously wrong with Don.”
She was right. Everything she said was correct. I shook my head, then the tears started running down my face, and then I was bawling.
“Oh, damn! Pull over there.” Trinette was patting my back and pointing to the curb ahead. I waited until the light changed, then went through the intersection and brought the car to a stop. “Now talk to me,” she demanded.
“I don’t know where to begin except to say that everything in my life is falling apart. I wake up every morning and never know what to expect. Some days he’s that sweet, loving man who I married, and other days he’s moody and cussing and accusing me of trying to leave him for another man. I just don’t know how much more I can take.”
“He sounds like Jekyll and Hyde.”
Trinette wagged her eyebrows and I gave a sad chuckle. Well, at least she was still good for a laugh. “You’re stupid! But you’re right, that’s exactly how he acts. I’ve been trying to be patient, but, Netta . . .” I started shaking my head. “I’m ready to pack up Aiden and move in with my mother for a little while.”
Her hazel eyes got large with surprise. “Girl, now you know I have no patience when it comes to a man, so I’m the worst person to ask for advice. But you know I love me some Donovan, and the two of you have been through so much together. Have you tried going to church?”
My head whipped around. “Church? Since when do you go to church?” I asked between sniffs. Don’t tell me my best friend is losing her mind as well.
She waved her hand at me. “Uh-uh. I don’t go to church, but Mama’s always talking about putting your problems in the Lord’s hand, and whenever I try that it actually works.”
I sniffed and took a moment to think about what she said. I would have never guessed in a million years that Trinette would encourage me to go back to church. I used to attend quite regularly when Big Mama was still alive. Donovan and I had even started going again after his first deployment and really got involved, but once Aiden was born and he was deployed, I just could never find the time. Now that he was back, church was no longer a part of our lives. Maybe Trinette was on to something.
“That’s a good idea. How about we all go on Sunday?” I suggested.
Her eyes widened and I was sure she was going to decline when she shocked me and nodded her head. “Girl, the things I do for my friends.”
“What friends? Last I checked I was
the only friend you got.” I laughed.
“You know it.” She reached across the seat and gave me a much needed hug. “I got an idea. Why don’t we surprise Mama and attend service at her church?”
I knew her too well. That was Trinette’s way of spending time with her family, that way she didn’t have to make any special trips.
“Sure, that sounds good to me.” I smiled and wiped my eyes. I was actually feeling a lot better. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it, but church was exactly what we needed to get our lives back on track.
I put the car back in Drive and eased into the flow of traffic. We were supposed to be going to the grocery store, but the second I hit the corner, Trinette started squirming on the seat.
“Ooh, Nikki! Pull in there.”
I grinned over at my friend and made a quick right into T.J. Maxx’s parking lot. “What you planning to do? Buy another suitcase full of clothes?”
She shrugged. “I just want to see what treasure I can find.” That’s my girl. She can never resist the urge to shop. Trinette has always been that way. Even while we were growing up she’d had filet mignon taste and hamburger money, but she never let it stop her from living like a diva. And then once she hit college, there was no stopping her. She learned how to make men spend their money on her all the way down to the expensive soap that she lathered on her body. Men had spoiled her and then Leon, and now she expected it to continue. I just hoped she realized that once that baby is born, her needs will become second to her child’s.
I pulled the car into the parking lot and killed the engine.
“Hey . . .” Trinette began, and I turned and looked at that rare serious look on her face. “Even though I think church might be a good start, I really think your husband needs some help.”
Consequences Page 7
