Reviving Heaven

by D H Sidebottom

  Warmth stirred in the pit of my stomach when one of his large hands lightly rested on my hip, the subtle touch burning through the thin material of my dress.

  “Harrison.” I flinched, mortified by the sound of my breathy voice. Heat poured over my body as my skin flushed with embarrassment and I dropped my face to hide the severe blush.

  I’d just had too much to drink. However, I found myself needing another to calm the storm that was twisting away inside me.

  “Lily,” Harrison warned when I repeated my order to the barman.

  “I need to get drunk tonight, Harrison.” I was angry at him, except I couldn’t understand why. “You promised to leave me alone. So do it. Leave me alone.”

  He was silent for a second, but eventually, I felt him move away.

  God damn it!

  Downing the vodka in one, I slammed the glass on the bar, wordlessly demanding another. And another. And another.

  It wasn’t until Harrison’s scent, once again, filled my nostrils and the bulk of his arms around me when he scooped me up that I realised, too late, I had drunk way too much.

  “I’ve got you,” he said softly as my eyes closed and I allowed him to, yet again, take care of me.

  Six

  Lily

  Bliss rolled over me. I leaned back on the side of the bath and allowed the sense of freedom to take me under. My head throbbed. The nightmare that had plagued me in the night refused to let my mind rest and played on a continuous loop in my thoughts.

  Now, nothing but tranquillity flowed through me, burying the anxiety that had reared its ugly head at the party.

  I looked down at my bare legs and sighed. Although I was now calm, the sight of my skin always disturbed me, the scars like enemies of my past mocking and laughing at me.

  Finally pushing myself upright, I scooped up the mess and shoved it into a bin bag and then started to fill the tub. The scent of orange blossom filled the confines of the small bathroom and I inhaled deeply. My mother always bought me a shit ton of my favourite bath cream every Christmas and the vast stash always lasted until the following December.

  The water was good and hot, and although I winced harder with every inch of water I slid deeper into, the serenity in my body eased the ache in my heart.

  Theory of A Deadman blasted through my earphones and turning the volume up to max I closed my eyes. My thoughts drifted to Harrison, or more precisely, how the feel of his warm breath and the sound of his voice had made me feel. I’d never felt anything like it, and although it had mortified me, my body had wanted to delve deeper into those feelings and explore the sensations they could bring.

  My bandmates didn’t understand me when I said sex didn’t interest me, but they couldn’t ever empathise with my reasons unless they felt them.

  Knight would be on my back tomorrow, unable to miss the high that now ran through me after the three lines tonight. But I knew I wouldn’t be able to perform at my best with all the disquiet that had been persecuting my mind. Tomorrow’s gig was an important one and I refused to let my friends down.

  A profound feeling of being watched triggered my eyes to snap open. Harrison stood in the doorway with a thunderous expression on his face.

  “Umm.” I pulled my earphones out; my vocal chords still numb with the shock of finding him snooping on me.

  “I was banging on the damn door for ten fucking minutes!” His face was strict, the fierce glare of rage in his eyes making me sink another inch under the bubbles as if they could save me from his oppression. “I thought you’d fucking drown!”

  It was then my eyes slid to the door and the broken hinges.

  “Umm.”

  “Jesus Christ, Lily! Is that all you can manage? Umm?”

  I waggled one of my earbuds at him. “I didn’t hear you.”

  “Evidently!”

  “Sorry.” I shrank back at the sound of the squeak that left me.

  “Oh? You’re sorry. You were so drunk earlier that when I put you into bed, you rolled over and fell on the floor with such a thud I thought you’d have a concussion. Then you just curled up and passed out. If I hadn’t put you back into bed, you’d have woken up in the bloody morning still in the same place!”

  “Oh.”

  His gaze dropped to the bin bag I’d stuffed in the corner of the room and a frown replaced the previous anger.

  I jumped out of the bath, shoving past him when he reached for it and snatched it up hastily.

  His mouth fell open. Realising I was naked, I grabbed the towel from the rail and quickly wrapped it around myself, grateful for the accumulation of bubbles that covered most of my dignity – especially the critical parts.

  Narrowing his eyes at me, he tilted his head slightly, suspicious of my eagerness to beat him to it. “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing!”

  He reached for the bag, but I hurriedly moved it behind me and squashed myself against the wall.

  “Do you mind!” I spat, my temper frayed. “I know you’re supposed to protect me everywhere I go, but I’m sure I’m quite safe in my own fucking bathroom. You’re invading my space, Harrison Cole. Something you promised you wouldn’t do.”

  He blinked, aware that he’d stepped over a line with me. Giving me a firm nod, he lowered his eyes and retreated out of the room. “I’ll fix the door tomorrow,” he called out.

  “Damn right you will!”

  I didn’t hear what he grumbled, but I grumbled something back all the same.

  ***

  Tap grinned at me. He always had his own unique grin that stretched the whole of his broad face, and it never failed to generate a smile of my own. “Feeling good, Lil?”

  “Uh-huh! I’m feeling gooood.”

  I was pumped, the roar of the crowd always fired adrenaline into my bloodstream and I bounced up and down, eager to rid a little of the pent-up frustration.

  Cage twiddled his drumsticks, his excitement making him fidgety. Knight just stood rocking back and forth on his heels. Harrison and Knight were similar in so many ways. They were both so serious, and so determined to kill any chance of a life I had. Knight was just looking out for me as a friend; I got that. However, Harrison only protected me because he was being paid for it. I didn’t like how that insight made my chest tighten. It didn’t matter, but it was kind of a slap in the face knowing someone only spent time with you to enhance their bank balance.

  Harrison was currently talking like a madman into his headset. He’d taken control of all security aspects where the gig was concerned. I’d had to hide my laughter at the regular security men’s faces when Harrison had barked orders at them like they were his private platoon. Luckily, no one had taken it too personally, and everything had fallen into place. I understood Harrison needed everything to run smoothly, for his own peace of mind, and not just my safety. I was his priority after all and trying to protect me from behind the scenes as I stood in the middle of an open stage in front of thousands of people must be a nightmare.

  “Ready in three, two, one,” Debbie spoke in my ear, and just as I stepped up to the stage, a hand curled around my wrist and stopped me.

  “Please be alert, Lily.”

  The anguish in Harrison’s eyes made my heart jump and I blinked up at him. Unsure what to say, I merely nodded.

  He nodded in return, gave my wrist a quick squeeze and then released me.

  Shouts of ‘Lily! Lily! Lily!’ heralded my entrance onto the stage. Usually, my heart would burst with every single fan’s excitement. Something else now ruled every beat of my heart. Fear.

  Taking another glance towards the edge of the stage where Harrison stood, I wasn’t surprised to see him as rigid as always. His attention was everywhere, in the crowd, back to me, to the back of the stage, to the rafters above the stage, back to the mass of people chanting my name, then, again to me. All the while his lips moved as he called orders and monitored each station post through his mouthpiece, his attention locked on every aspect of the enormous a
rena.

  “Hello, Manchester!” Knight shouted.

  A response of, “Quantum you Rock!” the familiar greeting from our fans, lit up the darkness around us as Cage led us into the first track on the drums with the leading beat to Take it to the wire.

  I stared out into the darkness. Silhouettes and shadows taunted me, each one a potential person that wanted to kill my cat. And me. My heartbeat spun out of control and Knight frowned at me when I missed the cue to the first line. Cage stuttered a little but took it back to the beginning, allowing me to sort my shit out.

  My hands shook and I grabbed hold of the mic stand to support myself when anxiety trembled in my knees. The rampant beat of apprehension pulsed in my ears and my throat clogged with dryness. Sweat beaded on my brow and I wiped it with a shaky hand.

  I glanced at Harrison. He smiled widely at me. The sight was absolutely stunning. I’d never seen him smile, not properly anyway. He nodded, encouraging me, and notifying me that everything was okay.

  “All clear, Lily Cooper,” he mouthed.

  “Aye, aye, Cap’n,” I mouthed back as my heartbeat resumed normal velocity.

  And then I faced the crowd, and I rocked the ceiling off the arena.

  Seven

  Harrison

  I watched her. It was good to see her so relaxed; her laughter was as lyrical as her music. I was glad that she had so many friends, especially good ones. I’d had to delve into her bandmates and friends’ lives, every one of them a potential suspect, but they’d come up clear. Well, all except Cage, but his file just contained juvenile bullshit that wasn’t associated with Lily’s life.

  The afterparty was in full swing, and a few fans had been invited backstage. Cage and Tap had girls dripping off them, and it was becoming awkward to keep a close watch over Lily.

  “You fancy going on somewhere?” Rebecca, Lily’s friend, asked her.

  She pulled a face and shook her head. “Not tonight. I just wanna crash.”

  Lily’s phone rang and she scooped it out of her bra. I couldn’t help but check out the glimpse of creamy soft skin hidden beneath white lace. My dick jerked and I bit my lip, forcing it to behave.

  The smile that covered Lily’s face when she checked the caller ID had my gut twisting. Mark.

  “Hey,” she answered with a more prominent smile.

  Rebecca’s eyebrows rose at the sight of Lily’s happy grin.

  “I can do that,” Lily spoke. “Okay, I’ll see you there.”

  “Spill,” Kit ordered, giving Lily a nudge of her elbow.

  “There’s nothing to tell. Just the guy I met last week.”

  “Guy?” Jax growled, coming over to join Lily. “Clue me in, babe?”

  Lily sighed and rolled her eyes. “Just a guy, Dad.”

  “Hmm.”

  “Give the kid some space, you overbearing arsehole,” Boss cut in, placing a protective arm around Lily. “She’s twenty-two. I remember what you were up to at her age.”

  Jax glared at Boss. “Exactly!”

  Kit laughed, their bickering amusing her. “I’m sure she’ll be fine, Jax.”

  He nodded sharply. “Yep, cos’ you’re going with her!”

  “The hell she is!” Lily spluttered. “I can’t take a friend on a date, Dad. That’s ridiculous.”

  “I’ll go!” Boss offered. “You’ll be okay with Uncle Boss. We can have jelly and ice-cream for pudding.”

  “The fuck,” Jax scoffed. “I’ll never relax if she’s out with you.”

  The distress on Lily’s face made me feel for her, although there was a little satisfaction inside that her date may not go ahead after all. I didn’t understand why I felt like that, but I wasn’t willing to interpret those thoughts just yet.

  “Dad, it’s just a date.”

  “With a guy you’ve no idea about. Have you forgotten some maniac is trying to hurt you?”

  “No, but…”

  “How do you know it’s not this particular bloke?” he posed with a fierce scowl.

  “Well, I don’t but…”

  “Harrison will go with you!”

  “No!” Lily yelled, the tether that had been fraying finally snapping. “I am going on a date! And I am going on my own! I’m old enough to date, Dad. It’s also a possibility that it could go well because he understands this life.” Tears twinkled in her large eyes, and she blinked quickly, locking them away. “Why do you do this?”

  Jax sighed, seeing her upset, and pulled her into a hug. “Sorry, Sugar Nut. Just worry.”

  “I know,” she whispered, embracing him harder. “But please, I’ll be fine. I have Harrison’s bangle.”

  I smiled inwardly as my eyes dropped to Lily’s wrist. She had kept the bracelet on, even after the party, and because she was always so stubborn, it had been both a shock and a blessing.

  “I’ll make sure I track her all evening, Mr Cooper,” I promised. And I’d make sure I did. I didn’t like the idea of her going out on a date either, the repercussions from it could be catastrophic. However, Lily still needed to have a life, even with this madman on the loose, and I tried my best not to be too intrusive with any of my clients.

  “I just want to go home,” Lily murmured dejectedly to me.

  Bidding farewell to her friends, she followed me out of the back door and slid close to me when a mass of fans shouted her name from behind the roped off area in the rear carpark. Security did their best to push the swarm back, but there were so many people bursting with excitement at the sight of Lily that they started to swell forwards.

  Shielding her from the side with my body, we quickly headed for the car.

  Not quickly enough.

  The sound of the gunshot was drowned out by the roar of the crowd.

  It wasn’t until Lily dropped to the floor beside me and blood began to cascade across the grey cement that I even realised she’d taken a bullet in her back.

  Eight

  Lily

  Flowers were the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes, masses of them. An array of colour burst from vases and buckets, some even spouting out of various glass bottles, reducing the harshness of the cold, white walls.

  Pain ached every single muscle in my body and I groaned as I tried to turn over.

  “Lily?”

  I slid my eyes towards the sound of my mother’s anguished voice and tried to focus on her. My mouth was so dry, and when I tried to lick my lips something obstructed my tongue.

  “Mmm.” The mumble sounded alien to my ears and I frowned.

  “It’s okay, sweetheart. Sleep,” Mum urged as she tenderly stroked her hand over the top of my head.

  A movement behind her had me squinting as I concentrated my gaze that way. Harrison tilted his head slightly, his gaze on me worried and, if I wasn’t mistaken, remorseful.

  I didn’t understand what was happening. Everything felt and appeared strange. I begged for sleep to take me away from the pain and the weirdness.

  “Sleep,” Mum insisted softly.

  As if she was magic, my eyes slid closed and I drifted into peacefulness once again.

  ***

  There were more flowers the next time I woke, and balloons bobbed about in every corner. Cards and pictures eclipsed the previous cold walls and photographs of people I didn’t know surrounded a mosaic of get-well wishes written on slips of paper.

  “Babe.”

  My dad’s face came into focus when he leaned close to me.

  This time I managed to smile; the prior blockage miraculously was gone. “Dad.” My throat was scratchy and I coughed.

  “How you doing, Sugar Nut?”

  I wasn’t quite sure how I was doing. I didn’t even know what was happening, so unable to answer, I just shook my head a little.

  My back ached and I tried to shift. “No, babe,” Dad admonished firmly. “Not yet, wait for the nurse.”

  “Nurse?” It was only then I realised I was in a hospital room. “What happened?”

  “You just had a li
ttle accident.” Dad smiled at me like I was four years old again and I had fallen off my bike.

  “You were shot!” Harrison’s stern voice made me jump. I couldn’t see him, but I definitely heard him.

  “What?” Every word I spoke hurt my throat and I winced with the pitch of that single syllable.

  “In the carpark after the concert.” Finally, Harrison stepped into my line of sight. His stormy blue eyes stared at me and I frowned at the reservoir of sadness that glimmered in them. “I’m sorry, Lily.”

  “Why are you sorry? Did you shoot me?”

  His eyes widened and the corner of his mouth twitched.

  My dad spluttered out a laugh. “Many times in his imagination, kid.”

  The door opened and a nurse walked in with my mother hot on her heels.

  “Lily!”

  I winced when she rushed to my side and took my hand in her warm one. “I’m okay, Mum.”

  She nodded quickly and wiped away the tears that rolled down her cheeks. “Of course you are, you’re strong.”

  “Like my mum.”

  “Hi, Lily, glad to see you’re awake.” The nurse smiled down at me as she checked the monitors beeping away. “Do you have any pain?”

  “A little.”

  “Not to worry, we’ll get you topped up.” After making some adjustments to the mass of concoctions being fed into me through various tubes, she turned to the people in the room. “Could you give us a little privacy for a moment, please. The cafeteria is open if you’d like to grab a coffee.”

  Mum frowned, looking from the nurse to me. I just shrugged. Eventually, she left the room with Dad and Harrison.

  “I’m Jenny, and I’ll be looking after you while you’re here,” the nurse informed me as she helped me turn onto my side. “I just need to check your wound and then we’ll get you some water, you must be thirsty.”