The Story of Us

by AuthorStephanieHenry

  Craig steps out of the room just as I’m hanging up with her.

  “My parents are going to spend the night here with Lexie,” he tells me. “My mom drove in the ambulance here, but dad drove the car, so we can drive it back home. I’m gonna go walk down to the garage and get it. Meet me outside in, say, ten minutes? I’ve already said goodbye to everyone.”

  “Okay, yeah, let me say goodbye too and then I’ll be right down.” I go to turn and walk back into Lexie’s room, but Craig stops me.

  “Thank you, princess. I’m sorry I was such an ass. I’ve never been that scared in my life. But you’re right. I should have leaned on you. Instead, I pushed you away. It wasn’t your fault I was in Michigan. I was just mad at myself and taking it out on you. I can’t apologize enough.” He holds my chin in his hand, gently stroking it with his thumb. “I hope you know how bad I feel. I’m a dick. I’m a dick and you deserve better.”

  “I already told you it’s okay. I understand. I’m just glad you came around and let me come with you.”

  “I can’t even imagine not having you here right now.”

  He presses his forehead to mine and we stay like that for a moment, just holding onto each other. Then he hugs me tightly and I relish in his arms around me, his muscles hard and comforting, his musky scent, his breathe hot on my neck. “My heart still races when you hold me like this,” I tell him, pulling back a little and placing his hand over my chest. “Every time.”

  His eyes turn intense as he brings his lips down on mine. “Do you have any idea what you mean to me?”

  But I don’t answer, I just kiss him again.

  When I pull away, he presses his forehead back to mine. “Go say your goodbyes. I’m going to go get the car. This has been the longest day and I can’t wait to just hold you in my arms all night.”

  “That sounds like heaven,” I tell him before turning to walk back into Lexie’s room.

  I say goodbye to his parents and to Lexie. I promise them all that Craig and I will be back first thing in the morning.

  It’s a promise I’d unwillingly break.

  Chapter 19

  I wait outside of the hospital for Craig’s dad’s car to pull up. I wait. And wait. Then I text him. Then I wait some more. Then I call him. Then I text again. Then I continue to wait again. Just as I’m debating walking over to the garage myself, it starts to rain. So I go back inside instead. Finally, I go up to the information desk.

  “My boyfriend went to get the car from the garage and he hasn’t come back yet,” I tell her, unsure of what my actual question is or how she could possibly help me.

  To my surprise, she raises her eyebrows and a sudden look of concern crosses her face. “A young man who was crossing the street heading over to the garage was brought in about forty minutes ago,” she tells me. “He’s registered as a John Doe.”

  I have a moment of panic, but then I think, no, it hasn’t been that long. Surely, it hasn’t been forty minutes, so it can’t be Craig. But then the more I think about it, the more I think that it could be. And then the panic rises again. I text him one more time.

  “Ma’am?” I ask the lady at the desk, “What happened to the John Doe? I mean why was he brought in, exactly?”

  “Well I don’t know the full story, but from what I gathered, the young man was walking to the garage when an older gentleman, who was having a heart-attack while driving himself into the hospital, lost control of his vehicle…”

  Everything after that drowns out. My panic turns to hyperventilation.

  “Please don’t get worked up. It’s probably a coincidence. Your boyfriend may have just went to the store…” she trails off. “Do you need medical help?” she asks, taking in my hyperventilating state.

  Somehow I manage to pull myself together. “How do I,” breath, “find out,” breath, “who he was?” breath, breath, breath.

  She gives me a sympathetic look again. “They’re working on him now. I’m afraid they won’t let you in until he’s stable. And even then, they won’t let you in unless you’re related to the John Doe. But you’re welcome to wait anyway.”

  So that’s what I do, mainly because I don’t know what else to do. I contemplate going back up to Lexie’s room, but the Morgan’s have enough to worry about right now. I don’t want to add to their stress, especially not until I know for sure. And I’m really hoping the incident with this man is simply a coincidence. Maybe Craig had another emergency he had to run off to take care of. Maybe the car wouldn’t start in the garage.

  I decide to walk out in the rain over to the garage. It’s unusually cold for this time of year and the rain is beating down hard now. It’s difficult to see with the water dripping down my face and into my eyes. I cross the street over towards the parking garage. I don’t even know what floor the car is parked on so I walk and walk and walk until I finally find Rick’s car, untouched. I look for any sign that Craig might have been here, but it’s useless. So I walk back to the hospital, in the rain again. When I get back, I’m drenched and shaking from the cold. But the only thing on my mind is finding Craig. The woman at the desk notices me and beckons me over.

  “They have a Ziploc bag with that young man’s belongings in it. I can sneak it down for you to take a quick look, if you’d like?”

  “You have no idea. That would be so helpful,” I tell her, beyond grateful, especially since I’m sure it’s against the rules.

  The wait is excruciating. I pace back and forth as I twist the ring on my right ring finger, a ring that promises forever. I want to go tell his parents more than anything, but I’m holding out hope that the Ziploc bag will contain anything but Craig’s belongings.

  Finally, I see the lady walking over to me from a distance, but I don’t need her to come closer to know that the bag… the bag in the lady’s hands… the bag that is supposed to tell me who was hit by that car, is exactly what I was hoping not to see. She’s still a good thirty feet away, but I can see the watch from here, the same watch I bought Craig for Christmas.

  I feel the lump in my throat immediately. I taste the saltiness of my tears as they flow down, resting on my lips. “Please tell me he’ll be alright,” I yell to the lady, scared of my own voice and how foreign it sounds.

  She gives me a sad look. “They’re doing the best they can. Are you a family member? I can tell them a family member is out here so a doctor comes to gives you updates,” she offers, even though she knows I’m not family.

  “Yes,” I lie.

  She just nods in understanding. “What’s his name dear?”

  “Craig Morgan.”

  I know I have to go tell his parents, but I’m just not sure I have the strength. I hate to put them through another scare, when they are still dealing with Lexie’s. Nonetheless, they need to know. So I walk up to Lexie’s hospital room. I knock softly on the door. Then a bit louder. Rick comes to the door first.

  “Valerie? I thought you guys left hours ago,” he starts, but then he notices my face. “What happened?”

  I tell him everything that happened since stepping out of Lexie’s room. I have to remember to breathe as I tell him about the waiting and the texting and the calling and the lady at the desk. I tell him all of it through a mess of tears. He walks down with me, not wanting Kathy to know anything yet. Although I think she should know, I don’t argue with him. It’s not my place.

  When the doctor comes out, it’s just me and Rick waiting.

  He asks if we’re the family of Craig Morgan and we both nod yes. He stands in front of us and shakes his head from side to side. “I’m so sorry. We did all that we could.”

  “What? No. No, there has to be some mistake,” I manage to say, though my throat feels like it’s swelling beyond control.

  “I’m so sorry,” the doctor says in return. “When the car struck him, he hit his head on the pavement. He had internal bleeding, not only in his lungs but in his brain as well. We took him in for emergency surgery, but the bleeding was beyond controll
able.”

  You feel your heart beat loudest when it’s cracking open. The quick thudding slices the silence in the air like a sharp knife.

  By the time grief takes over, you can’t even hear yourself cry, never mind your heart beating anymore.

  Grief – such a common word, felt by so many. But this feels like more. It feels like a physical being, a monster reaching into my chest and squeezing tightly.

  Rick goes up to get his wife. I just sit here and feel it all. I feel my stomach tighten. I feel nausea swirl about. I feel my throat burn, my heart race, my lungs close up. I feel my heart break in the most agonizing way.

  When Kathy comes down, she hugs me with so much force, it knocks the breath right out of me. We both sob together, clinging onto one another for dear life.

  “How did this happen?” she keeps asking. But I can’t answer, not now.

  They send a grief counselor out to talk to us, probably because we’re causing a scene. But none of us pay her any attention.

  Rick goes in to identify the body. The whole time I’m thinking please let it be someone else in there, even though I know it won’t be.

  My mom picks me up at the hospital. I don’t even know who called her. All I know is one minute I was picturing Craig’s sideways smirk and the next minute, I lift my head up and my mother is here.

  We walk out into the rain and I can’t help but think that the sky is crying too.

  Before I know it, I’m in the comfort of my own bed, only I’m anything but comforted. I don’t sleep at all. I stare and think and stare. He was all alone. He had no one with him in those last moments. I hear voices but I’m not even sure who’s talking, never mind what they’re saying. I think I’ve been lying here, staring into space, for days. But when Hailey comes into my room and tells me the day and time, I realize it’s only been about fourteen hours.

  “Thanks for flying back,” I tell her… the first thing I’ve said in fourteen hours. My throat is bone dry.

  “Drew’s here too, but I told him to wait outside.”

  “Tell him to come up.”

  So the three of us sit there in my bedroom. We talk about Craig and we cry. Eventually, they lay in bed with me. Hailey holds me while I shudder in sobs that I can’t control. I end up crying myself to sleep. When I wake, Hailey and Drew are still here. Hailey offers me water and a sandwich, but I only take the water. I’m not sure how long they’ve been here. It could be a few hours or a few days. Time just doesn’t matter right now.

  When they leave, there’s nothing left to do but think. I think back to when I couldn’t stand the sight of Craig. I think back to his irritating comments and his relentless teasing. I think about the words that he had used, how he always said them in playfulness, but how they always had a second meaning, an air of truthfulness. I didn’t believe that he actually liked me because he always said so playing around. I could have had more time with him if I believed him sooner and didn’t fight what I already knew. Now he’s gone. And why? All because of some tragic accident, some poor guy having a heart-attack. He should have called for an ambulance. It doesn’t make sense. It’s not fair.

  It’s not fair. The only thing I can think for the next long stretch of time is that it’s just not fair. I have no idea how much time passes. It’s. Just. Not. Fair. He had his whole life ahead of him. He had my whole future in the palm of his hands. Both are gone now.

  I always knew he would end up breaking my heart, but I never thought it would end like this. I never even knew heartbreak could feel like this. Hearts are fragile because they bruise easily. Most times when people think they’re broken-hearted, they only realize it was just a bruise after they experience real heartbreak. I can honestly say I’ve never had a broken heart until now.

  “It hurts that bad because it mattered that much,” Hailey had said when she was here earlier. I guess she’s right. I should be thankful that I felt love that strong. But right now, all I can think about is the heartache that comes from losing a love that strong. I’m not thankful. I’m bitter.

  My parents come in and I know they’re not going to be helpful. It’s not exactly like they ever got to know Craig or were ever accepting of my relationship with him. But I let them talk nonetheless.

  “I’m sorry you lost your friend,” my mom starts.

  “He wasn’t my friend, mom. He was the love of my life.”

  They both chuckle a little, which irritates me beyond belief. “You’re not even twenty years-old, Hailey. You’re a teenager. You’ll meet someone else and live a happy life. You have the rest of your life ahead of you,” my father lectures.

  There’s so many things wrong with that statement, but I focus on just two. “First off, you’re insinuating that because I’m only a teenager, I couldn’t possibly know what true love is, which is wrong. I felt it and it was real. Second, you’re really going to sit here and lecture me about the fact that I have my whole life ahead of me? You don’t think that I understand that? That’s the problem. How am I going to live the rest of my life knowing that Craig doesn’t get to live his? What we had was unforgettable. It was real and life-changing. And beautiful.”

  “Oh, honey,” my mom says, “beautiful things never last. That’s why fireworks fizzle out, pretty leaves fall off of trees, glistening snow melts. It’s all just temporary.”

  My father turns to my mother, “She’s just being dramatic. She’ll fight anything we say right now. Don’t bother.”

  My mother gives me a sympathetic look. “I know it hurts honey. But it’s really not the end of the world. You’ll get over this.”

  I don’t say anything. I just want them to leave my room… and they do. I think, at least I hope, that what she meant to say was that I’ll get through this. Because I know I’ll never simply get over it.

  Chapter 20

  My father was right though. I did meet someone else. I met someone else and I fell head over heels in love with him. I didn’t know my father was right at the time though, only because I didn’t know that you existed.

  I thought I missed my period due to all the stress and grief, but it turned out to be more than that, it turned out to be you.

  The pregnancy was hard, not because of any complications, but mainly because the doctor cut me down to one cup of coffee a day. Mix my lack of caffeine with the overwhelming grief, and you can be assured that I was a complete disaster. But on February ninth, I found that it was all worth it.

  I entered the hospital at eight in the morning, scared out of my mind. For someone who has never had any memorable medical issues as a kid, major abdominal surgery was a frightening thought. I was past my due date and about to have a C-section. After checking into the hospital, entering the labor and delivery room, changing into a hospital gown, and being hooked up to various monitors and IVs, I was told I would have to say goodbye to Rick, Lexie, Hailey, Hailey’s mom Jane, and Drew; my support system over these last few months. I was only allowed one person in the operating room with me and I chose Kathy. If Craig couldn’t be here with me, I wanted his mom. Especially since my parents would knowingly be MIA. The nurses take me in, but tell Kathy to get suited up before entering.

  Once in there, I’m told to jump up onto the table and sit at the edge of it, crouched over into the fetal position. It’s cold in the room, but I keep telling myself it’ll be over soon. An extremely kind nurse holds my hand while a younger lady sticks the epidural in my spine. Unfortunately, she doesn’t do it right. I hear an older man tell her that she went up too far and only three and a half inches deep. He tells her to take it out, pats me on my shoulder and says, "Just a minute dear, I need to get another needle."

  Infuriated, but in too much pain to even move, I know I’ll just have to suck it up and wait for the next needle. This time, the older man puts the needle in himself. I know this because I hear him tell the younger lady that he went in lower and at four and a half inches deep. Once the epidural is correctly given, everyone in the operating room seems to be in a rush.<
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  As soon as they turn me around, I notice multiple doctors and nurses. There has to be ten, maybe even fifteen people around me. They lay me all the way down on the table and pull a curtain over the lower half of my body. One doctor comes over to me and asks if I feel nauseous at all. I think about it for a moment, only now realizing just how nauseous I actually feel after he’s asked. I nod yes and he sticks something into my IV. I’m not sure if I feel sick because of the epidural or from nerves, but I feel as if I could be sick to my stomach at any time now. I try to relax and convince myself that the medicine is working. The last thing I want to do is vomit right now. A doctor dabs my chest with a wet gauze pad and asks if I can feel it. I nod yes. Then I lay there while they all scramble around the room getting things together. A few minutes later, I catch the eye of one of the doctors and I tell him in a panic that I can still feel my legs. He assures me that it’s alright and that they won’t start cutting until they know that I’m completely numb. Another doctor comes over with another wet gauze pad and dabs my chest again, asking if I can feel it. I nod yes again. He then dabs my upper thigh and I tell him that I can feel that too. He asks if it feels less wet than on my chest and I tell him it kind of does.

  A few minutes later, I tell one of the doctors above my head that I can feel some pressure on the lower half of my body and he informs me that they have begun cutting. So much for making sure I was completely numb first. Luckily, I can't feel anything more than the pulling and tugging sensations, which they warned me about. I ask where Kathy is and he says she is on her way in. About one minute later, Kathy comes through the door and sits down on a stool next to my head.

  I feel my body being pulled and tugged from side to side, but I can't even feel whether my legs are bent or straight. Because the epidural has numbed my body from my chest down, it’s hard to feel whether I’m even breathing or not. I keep gasping for air, just to make sure I am. My arms start to feel tingly, like they’re going to sleep, which isn't something the nurses had warned me about. So I tell one of the doctors above my head and he assures me that everything is alright and that they’re almost done. Kathy squeezes my hand. The pulling and tugging sensations seem to get stronger... and then suddenly I see three doctors and nurses reach over my head to start pushing on my stomach. Of course, I can't feel it, but it’s scary nonetheless. As they start to back away, I hear a cry. And with that first cry, I begin to cry myself. I turn my head towards Kathy, who has tears in her eyes as she says "There he is! There’s our boy!"