Phoenix Ashes (The Landers Saga Book 3)

by Nilsen, Karen

  "Lady Safire!" I felt Elsa's hand on my shoulder, much as she had shaken me awake this morning. "Lady Safire, are you all right?"

  I returned to the cottage to find myself seated on the floor, Jerimy asleep in my lap. His aura had expanded to a healthy shimmering cloud around him, a deep blue-purple, the color of a closed lilac bud. All three women stood around us, staring at me as I shook my head to clear it.

  "That was like no healing I've ever done," I said. "We were in another place, an ancient forest at twilight." I've only been there before with Merius in our shared fantasies I added to myself. I looked at Celia. "You said your mother was a healer." When she nodded, I continued, "Keep an eye on him--he has her blood, her talents."

  I stood up and handed Jerimy to Nevina. He stirred then and turned his elfin face toward me. He smiled drowsily. "Fairy," he said. "Fairy lady."

  "His fever's gone," Nevina said as she touched his forehead. She met my gaze, her brown eyes wide. "I don't understand--you barely held him. It could only have been a minute or two before you sat down with him and started telling that strange story."

  "I don't quite understand myself, except that your son is special. He can see beyond the veil."

  Nevina's arms tightened around him. "No," she breathed. "He can't be like Grandmother. If anyone finds out . . ."

  I swallowed, the acid lump of her fear in my own throat. I touched my middle as Dominic kicked me, the gnawing worry I felt for him sour in my stomach. Then I put my hand on Nevina's shoulder. "Don't fear for him. Your grandmother lived to old age and nary a suspicion cast her way, didn't she? He'll do the same." I sounded much more confident than I felt.

  She nodded and kissed his forehead, rocking him in her arms as he drifted back to sleep. "Thank you, my lady," she said. "Thank you. I'm going to put him to bed now."

  I watched as she climbed the narrow wooden steps to the loft, then turned back to Elsa and Celia. "So how did you know about my mother? And Mordric really granted you this cottage and land? Why?"

  Celia laughed, a hearty sound. "One question at a time, my lady. Would you like some tea?"

  "Yes, that would be nice." I suddenly noticed the tired ache in my muscles, as if I'd walked a long distance. I sank down on a wooden bench and rested my elbows on the trestle table, my face in my hands. I listened to the scrape of the kettle against the stone, the musical slosh of water being poured as Celia bustled around the hearth.

  "Lady Safire?" Elsa gently touched my back as she sat down beside me.

  I peeked at her between my fingers. "I'm fine, dear one. Just a little tired. I thought you had more siblings? And what about Nevina's husband?"

  "The others are all in the fields or at market this time of day. I'm sorry they won't get to meet you. Oh, Mother, I forgot to tell you--Dempsey was teasing the geese again. He ran off in the woods when I yelled at him."

  Celia set a squat earthenware mug before me. "He needs a playmate his age. I told Cirl he should take him to the monastery for schooling. He's a bright boy, too young to work in the fields yet, and it gets him into mischief."

  "Who's Cirl?"

  "Nevina's husband." Celia brought over another couple mugs for her and Elsa, then a tray with a steaming tea pot and a jar of honey. She poured the tea before she sat down at the head of the table with a satisfied sigh. "Feels good to sit down--my bones are getting old."

  "You'll outlive us all," Elsa scoffed.

  Celia looked toward the window, her eyes distant as if she were remembering what it had looked like many years before. "You asked about this cottage and Sir Mordric," she said as she glanced back at me. I nodded, and she continued, "Sheer luck, that. You see, this cottage used to belong to Sir Mordric's father--it was one of his hunting lodges. When he died, Sir Mordric and his brother Sir Gaven had a terrible quarrel over what was to be done with their father's lodges. Sir Gaven wanted to keep them, and Sir Mordric wanted to sell them off with parcels of land. Holt and I were tenants on the Landers estate at the time, and Holt was standing in the courtyard during the fight. Sir Gaven went to knock Sir Mordric down--well, you can reckon how that went for him. Ended up in the horse trough, he did, all his fine clothes ruined. Sir Mordric was so mad he gave away all the lodges to the men standing nearby. Said he'd rather see men and their families working the land and living in the lodges, even if it meant he gave them all away, than let his feckless brother have them. When Holt died, I petitioned the Landers to add my name to the land grant since Holt had no living brothers and none of our sons were old enough to take control. Sir Gaven tried to take it from me then, but Sir Mordric wouldn't let him. Said an honest, hard-working widow like me was worth ten of Sir Gaven. Sir Gaven didn't like that and tried to seize control by virtue of being the elder, but in the midst of it all, he got drunk and drowned in the river, and there was no more talk of the Landers taking the cottage back, so it's been mine ever since."

  A faint unease came over me at the mention of Gaven. Arilea had planted suspicion in Mordric's mind that Merius was Gaven's son, not his. My talents told me it wasn't true. All a witch had to do was see Mordric's and Merius's auras to know they were father and son. It had been one of Arilea's lies and attempts to manipulate him, but Mordric had half-believed it for a long time. I had always wondered if he had a hand in Gaven's accident--he could be ruthless in guarding his honor and those he loved, and he had loved Arilea. And he certainly loved Merius. I thought of it as an invisible circle of protection--once someone made it inside the circle and Mordric saw that person as his responsibility, he would go to any lengths necessary to defend that person, even if it meant blood on his hands. Was there a heaven for ruthless men who did tremendous good against their better judgment? I hoped so, for I loved my conniving father-in-law dearly, even if he might have had a hand in his brother's accident. I shuddered at the macabre thought and then quickly tried to forget I had ever thought it. To be certain, it was just unfortunately convenient timing that Gaven had drowned when he had. And besides, he sounded like a dishonorable, worthless reprobate in all the stories I had ever heard of him.

  I shook myself, realizing I had missed part of the conversation. Elsa and Celia were arguing in a good-natured fashion over how much to charge for the geese at market. "You could get two silver pieces for a pair, as long as it was a goose and gander," Elsa said. "Fifteen coppers barely covers any of your expenses."

  "A silver piece a goose? They'll laugh at us. Pardon me for saying this, Lady Safire, but Elsa, you've been living at court too long."

  "And you're too close to this to have an outsider's perspective . . ."

  "Listen to the girl! Where did you learn words like that?" Celia demanded with a laugh, obvious pride swelling her tone.

  "Sir Merius's library. Honestly, Mother, you have a reputation for the best geese in the province. People will a pay a silver piece for that." Elsa set her mug down with a clank.

  "Why don't you try charging a silver piece and see what happens? You can always lower the price again," I said.

  "That's true." Celia drummed her fingers on the table. "You do put me in mind of your mother, Lady Safire, though you have your father's hair--and perhaps his temper with it, if what Elsa tells me is true."

  I laughed. "Tell me what you remember about my mother--how do you know she was healer? I always thought she hid her talents from all but us."

  "She kept quiet about it, for sure. She used to visit my mother on occasion, and they would talk--that's how I knew about her. That, and she saved Elsa's life one time when she had the croup. She used herbs and such and pretended that had cured the child, but I knew better. It's sad really--she and my mother saved lives but they could have saved so many more if not for the fear of these damnable burnings." Celia brought her fist down on the table. "It's the wrongest thing I ever heard of, burning an innocent at the stake because she used her witchery to save a life. But it happens all the time in this land."

  "Not here in this province as much, not since Mordric became provincial min
ister." I drained the last drop of tea.

  "You know, I've heard many a rumor and complaint about that man, how hard-bitten and sneaky he can be. But he's always done right no matter his methods from what I've seen of him, and that tells the truth far better than any rumor," Celia said. "More tea, my lady?"

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  House of Long Marsh, Silmer Province, Eastern Cormalen

  August, 3 years ago

  I jerked awake. Something metallic, a belt buckle perhaps, clattered on the floor, and I heard a whispered curse. My eyes caught a faint silvery shimmer at the foot of the bed. "Merius?" I asked as I reached under the pillow for my dagger.

  "Oh hell, I didn't mean to wake you," came his velvety deep voice, just how I would imagine pipe smoke to sound if one could hear it as well as smell it, and my knees went weak with relief. And desire.

  "Thank God it's you." I slid the dagger into its sheath and put it back under the pillow. "Why did you block me today?" I grumbled as I sat up. "I had all kinds of fascinating things to share with you."

  "We almost had a peasant riot at Landers Hall--that's why I blocked you."

  "Oh no--was anyone hurt? There's a candle on the mantel, by the way."

  "That's all right--I found what I needed already." The bed creaked as he climbed onto the other side, his aura flashing like lightning. "No one was seriously hurt, though Sullay's pride took a blow. Where are you?" He fumbled through the covers--the poor man was only able to use one arm. I felt a twinge of pain in my right shoulder as we opened our minds to each other.

  "Here." I gripped his good hand and pushed him back until he sat against the headboard. Then I straddled his lap, glad to find he had already shed his clothes. Resting one hand on his left shoulder, I leaned forward and planted my mouth on his. Immediately our auras flared in a shower of purple and silver sparks, and I closed my eyes as I relished the scratch of his stubble contrasted with his smooth, taut lips, the caress of his tongue against mine. He groaned as I playfully nipped his lower lip, his good arm tight around my waist. We kissed for a long time, neither one of us willing to relinquish the taste and feel of the other's mouth. The searing liquor taste of his aura intoxicated me until it felt as if the world spun around us. As sweet as our first kiss in the library at court over a year and a season ago, tentative gentleness that quickly swelled to blissful passion, a sweet eternity of kisses.

  Finally I drew away and blinked, noticing the sparks of our auras had blended into ribbons of light that undulated around the bed in an endless dance of shimmering color. He trailed his fingers down my back, his hand roaming over my hips as I pulled my shift over my head and tossed it aside. He lowered his mouth to my neck, nibbling a path of kisses down my throat, my shoulders. I arched my head back when he reached my breasts, his lips so soft against my aching nipples I almost screamed. I fisted my hands in his hair and drew him closer.

  He chuckled, his breath warm and tingling against my skin. "I take it you want me, sweetheart?"

  "Always," I gasped. "Let's not be apart so long ever again, Merius."

  "Never again," he agreed before his mouth found mine.

  My eyes closed and then opened on another realm. My fey lord had come to me in a forest glade at night, our skin shining silvery-white under the unblinking gaze of the full moon. He sat on an ancient stone altar and cradled me in his lap as we sacrificed ourselves to each other.

  He ended our kiss abruptly. "No," I protested as he eased me off his lap.

  "Shh. I have to be standing at the north end of the altar for the ritual to work. Now just lie back," he whispered. I stared at him, his pale body straight and tall as a birch sapling, every firm line in stark relief, sculpted by the interplay of shadows and moonlight. Then I lay on the altar, the stone still warm from our bodies. He leaned over me and ran his hand over my torso. He lightly traced ancient patterns on my flesh with his silver-edged talons, so sharp their touch tingled in a exquisite balance between pleasure and pain. I cried out as he trailed one claw over my taut nipples, and I heard the answering cry of the phoenix far overhead as she joined with her mate in midair. He combed his talons through my nether hair, his touch torturously light when he tickled my tender, secret flesh. A fire blossomed inside, stoked higher and higher by his every movement. I sat up and tried to touch him so I could torment him as he tormented me, and he laughed. He leaned over me, our mouths soldering together in a circle of flame, flames that caressed me like feathers even as they consumed my flesh.

  He pulled me to the edge of the altar, to him. He impaled me, and I welcomed it. I arched my back and wrapped my legs around him as he began to move inside me. I was the sacrifice, and I welcomed it. The flames rose around us, the whole forest ablaze now. He labored over me with harsh pants, my answering cries hastening his thrusts. The smoke stung my eyes, and I began to weep as the ritual reached its height. I was the sacrifice, and I welcomed it. Only with him, my fey lord, did I welcome it. Only with him could I go through the fire and emerge unscathed. Only with him could I emerge from the fire with wings. We rose through the air on billows of smoke, and as I screamed my release, I heard the phoenix in my head scream her single wild note of joy mingled with pain. My fey lord called "Safire, Safire" as he spent himself deep inside me, and then he slumped over me with a groan. We wrapped each other in our new wings and fell asleep, drifting on a cloud.

  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

  I awoke to my own scream. A large, gloved hand touched my arm, the leather warm and supple. Merius's aura exploded in a blinding flash, hundreds of searing silver sparks that darted all over the chamber. The assassin abruptly released my arm with a grunt of what I hoped was pain, for I smelled the sharp odor of scorched leather. The sparks flared on the surface of my aura like shooting stars, and I sighed at the tingling thrill of them, the sweet spiciness of burning cedar overpowering the nasty smell of charred feathers and linen.

  The chamber sprang into sight, lit with the glow of several candles. The emissary assassin stood in the far corner near the fireplace, holding a large mirrored lantern aloft. Tendrils of smoke drifted through the air and mingled to form a bluish haze overhead. Merius's sparks had apparently burned black rings whenever they landed on something flammable. Dark, smoking spots covered the bed sheet and pillows all around me. I stared at these spots as I drew my knees up and clasped my arms tightly around them to cover my nakedness.

  "Damn warlocks," the bullish assassin roared in Sarns, beating at the red-edged holes still burning on his sleeves and trousers.

  The emissary assassin set the lantern on the washstand and grabbed the ewer, his aura flashing a poisonous green before it vanished again. He ran over and dashed water on the other assassin. His ruined clothes sizzled and steamed in the silence that followed as we all stared at each other. Merius put his arm around my shaking shoulders and kissed the crown of my head. Then he reached under my pillow for the dagger. He drew it from its sheath with a metallic hiss and pointed it at the assassins.

  "Any of you touch her again, and you die. Do you understand me?" he said, his voice soft and reasonable. It sounded like he was inviting them to dinner, velvet concealing hard steel. He sounded just like his father. I huddled against him, his aura shielding me. The world could burn around us, and I would feel safe as long as his aura surrounded me.

  "We mean her no harm, Sir Merius," the emissary said smoothly.

  "Then why the hell did you touch her?"

  "We don't have to explain ourselves to you," Bullish growled. "I won't hesitate to use the Ursula's Bane."

  "You use that wretched stuff on him, and I'll stab your eyes out," I heard myself yell. "I'm sick of this, do you hear me? Sick of it. In the name of all that is holy, leave us be!" Tears stung my eyes, and I threw myself against Merius's chest, clutching his shoulders as sobs shook my body. I was so angry I could hardly breathe.

  "Look what you've done now." Merius's voice rumbled through me. "Shh, sweet," he murmured, his hand resting at the small of my back. I felt him pull the sheet
up so that it covered me, then I heard the scrape of the wardrobe door opening. I blinked and turned my head as the emissary reached into the wardrobe.

  "Here," the emissary said as he tossed a billowing cloud of soft blue in our direction, my favorite robe. Merius set the dagger aside as he tugged the robe around me, then immediately picked the dagger back up again when I was suitably covered.

  "Thank you," I sniffed at the emissary. "Now get out."

  "We're only here to help you, my lady."

  I was ready to yell at them again when there came a knock at the door. "Lady Safire?" Elsa called. "I heard some shouting--are you all right?"

  "We're fine, dear one. Merius just got here and surprised me, that's all. Go back to bed."

  "All right." There came a pause. "You call me if you need anything," she added, her tone indicating obvious doubt. I could tell she suspected I was lying--she knew me too well. I held my breath until I heard her footfalls fade down the hall. The last thing I wanted was for the assassins to do anything to Elsa.

  The bullish one seemed to read my mind, for he said, "Don't forget--according to the king's orders, the only ones we have to keep alive and safe are the two of you."

  "You hurt our friends or family, and there'll be hell to pay. The last thing King Rainier wants is Safire so distraught that she l-loses the baby." Merius's voice trembled just a little at the last, and I squeezed his hand. "Do you have any idea how much you just upset her, sneaking in here and touching her like that? She's already under quite enough strain without you manhandling her. Why did you touch her?"