Dustin (Shifter Football League Book 3)

by Becca Fanning

  “Hey,” he said gently, setting the bowl of soup on the table in front of her. He put his hand on her shoulder. “It’ll be okay. The cops will get them and lock them up.”

  “It’s not that,” she said through sniffles, trying to breathe and speak effectively. “Or, it’s not only that.” Her words came out broken up. She had to stop to try to breathe again.

  “Okay. Want to talk about what else is going on?”

  How could she even begin to tell him all that was going on in her mind? Where to even start? She grabbed a tissue and blew her nose, then balled it in her hand to keep it ready for wiping her tears.

  “I—I’m…”

  “Take your time,” he said. “We have all night.”

  She hated that he was being so nice. He should hate her. He should be mean and awful to her. He should kick her out and make her suffer for what she did to him. But instead, he saved her life, called the cops for her, made her tea then soup, let her spend the night at his house, and was now sitting and talking with her, trying to make her feel better.

  “What—is—wrong with you?” she finally sputtered out.

  His demeanor immediately changed. He sat up and moved away from her. He shook his head. “Me? I—”

  “You should—hate me.” She glared at him. “I did horrible things to you, and you just sit there and make me food and comfort me?”

  His eyes narrowed slightly. “You forgot the part about how I saved your life.”

  “No, I didn’t. Why would you do all this for me after what I did to you?”

  “I guess I’m just a better person.” He smirked, but it quickly faded. He let out a deep sigh. “I don’t know. What else could I do? Not like I was going to let you be hurt or killed because you did something horrible. I’ve done horrible things in my life too. I know what you’re going through—or at least I have some vague idea—and that’s what I would have wanted someone to do for me.” Then he mumbled under his breath, “Assuming I wasn’t so embarrassed that I would have actually told someone.”

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered, then broke into fresh sobs. “I’m so, so sorry for what I did. Just thinking about it and all you went through and how… how… evil I was to you.”

  “Whoa, whoa.” He held a hand up. “You’re forgetting a lot. I wasn’t exactly nice to you. Or your ladies. I deserved it.”

  “No, you didn’t. Not any more than I deserved what Hayden and Alex did to me. And tried to do.”

  “Well, I’m sorry for my part anyway,” he said. “This might have all been avoided—me being drugged, you being attacked—if I hadn’t started with that stupid contest in the first place. Or the second one.”

  “So, who wins the contest to see who could break me?” She rubbed the tissue under her nose. “Maybe it’s a tie between Alex and Hayden.”

  “No one. No one wins in any of this. And besides. You’re not broken.”

  This subtle encouragement put a glimmer of warmth in her chest, but it quickly faded. “What do you think will happen to Alex and Hayden?”

  He lifted a shoulder. “I guess they’ll be arrested, probably kicked off the team. Or depending on how quiet they can keep things, they’ll be suspended instead.”

  “I don’t know if I even want to this to be public. I want them to pay, but…”

  “Everyone would see you as the victim.”

  “Right.”

  “I get that,” he said. “My humiliation was somewhat public, since everyone on the teams knew, but at least the general media didn’t leak it. That just would have made it so much worse. With something like this, though. It would be all over the news and social media for at least a few weeks, maybe longer.”

  “I know. And I don’t know if it’s somehow my duty to do that, to take a stand for what’s right and put myself through all that heartache for women’s rights, or if I can just make sure justice is done. Is that enough?”

  Dustin reached over and put his hand over hers. “I know you want to help people. That’s very noble, but you can’t do it at the cost of your own well-being. If it’s going to be too much for you, then keep it quiet. Don’t be some huge crusader for women and destroy yourself in the process. You’re a woman who needs to be fought for too, you know.”

  “Isn’t a little personal sacrifice worth it if I can help someone?”

  “Maybe.”

  He moved his hand back to his own lap, and she wished he wouldn’t have. But she didn’t feel confident enough to reach out and grab it.

  “If it really is just a little personal sacrifice, then maybe it is,” he said. “But do you really think it’ll be a little? It seems like it might be a whole lot of sacrifice to me.”

  She considered this. Could she deal with the media, with being called names and blamed for what happened if it raised awareness or helped someone? If it made sure that Alex and Hayden would never do anything like that again? If it gave someone else courage to step forward and talk about their own attacks?

  “You don’t have to figure this out now,” Dustin said. “Get a good night’s sleep, if you can. Think about it when you have a clear mind. Maybe talk to a lawyer or someone who can give you legal advice on how to proceed.”

  “I was thinking I’d need a lawyer,” she said quietly. No matter what she decided to do, someone would have to represent her. “I’ll just need to find someone who has experience defending women.”

  “I know someone who might be able to help. My mom’s best friend is a lawyer. She’s done all sorts of things for women’s rights.”

  Brooklyn raised an eyebrow at him. “Then how did you end up the way you are?”

  He gave her a crooked smile. “I never listened to her. I assumed she was just some crazy feminist out to destroy men. I guess I’m starting to see things differently with all that’s happened in recent months.”

  “Maybe people can really change.”

  She looked into his eyes for several long moments. It was absurd, but somehow, she was starting to have feelings for him. She tried to brush it off. It was just the situation. He’d saved her and brought her here to take care of her. That was all. She was feeling grateful, not attracted to him. Yet, the urge to lean forward and kiss him was strong enough that she had to turn her head and look away.

  “Didn’t you say once that the things that happen to people change them?” he asked.

  “Did I? I think you said that, actually.”

  “I don’t know, but I think it’s true. When something major happens, it opens our eyes, makes us see things differently. And that has a lasting impact.”

  She nodded slowly, thinking of all the ways she’d changed after her experiences with men, how she’d closed herself off and decided relationships weren’t worth it. There was nothing but pain to be had from it all. But what if there wasn’t? What if a relationship could be good enough—healthy enough—that two people could support each other and bring something good instead of pain? Did relationships like those even exist?

  They had to. Not all relationships were terrible. Not all marriages ended in divorce. But Dustin was not someone healthy enough to be in a good relationship with. Then again, hadn’t she done awful things, too? Maybe she wasn’t healthy enough either. Or maybe… Could it be that the two of them, having both done awful things, could help each other? He’d opened her eyes, and it seemed like she’d done the same for him. What if they could help each other change for the better?

  “You know Kenny?” he asked. “He is one smart dude.”

  “Why’s that?” She knew who he was, of course. She knew all the football players but him especially had been in the news a lot. The player who’d gone pro, messed up his life, and had to go back to semi-pros to regain himself. Some considered him a tragedy, but others saw inspiration in the way he was recovering and trying to make a comeback.

  “A few times he pulled me aside to talk,” Dustin continued. “He warned me. He told me that my attitude was going to mess me up, that I needed to see women as peop
le and not things to be conquered. I didn’t really listen to him though. I blew it off. I thought he was just old and washed up and pitiful for how he’d ruined his life. But once he found the right person, the woman he could be himself with, it changed everything. Maybe that’s all any of us needs in this life. To find the person who won’t judge us for our faults but can help us become better people despite them.”

  She turned to face him and her eyebrows pulled together slightly in surprise. “I was just thinking almost the same thing, that maybe a good relationship is just two people helping each other see the bigger picture.”

  He let out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, but who in the world would take a chance on two messed up people like us?” He shook his head. “I’ll just stay single forever, I guess.”

  She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth. Her heart was racing with the words in her mind. Could she say it? What would happen if she held it back? But what might happen if she said it out loud?

  She took in a slow breath and swallowed hard. She decided to let it go, to not say it, but then in the next moment opened her mouth. “You know…”

  She had to stop to swallow again. Her palms were damp and she pressed them to the sofa. He raised an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to finish her sentence.

  “We’ve both done bad things, and we did them to each other,” she said. “We’ve already helped each other to see the world differently. Do you think…?”

  His face fell into shock. “You and me?” He pointed from her to himself then made an incredulous face. “No way. Are you serious? We’d be terrible together. You hate me.”

  Her face grew hot at his reaction. Maybe he didn’t want her anymore like he had. Or maybe it had only always been about her body and that was it.

  “I don’t hate you,” she said a little too sharply. She needed to recover her pride a bit. “I just meant maybe we could be good friends. Maybe we could help each other find a good relationship. Not that we should be together.” She tried to put disgust into her voice, but it fell flat.

  Dustin stared at her for a long moment. “You were serious,” he said quietly. “Wow.” It wasn’t a sarcastic sort of “wow.” It was spoken in awe. “I thought that you thought that I was the lowest of the low. A total scumbag.”

  “I used to think that, I’ll admit it.” She looked down at her fingernails, needing to avoid his penetrating gaze. “But after all that’s happened, I see you differently too. And I think you have changed. Besides, you proved you’re not the lowest of the low. Hayden and Alex took that title. And saving me like that and all you’ve done since… It shows that there’s something in you that I didn’t know was there.”

  “Wow,” he said again. “I didn’t think I’d ever hear you say something like that.”

  “Well, I didn’t think I’d ever hear you say the things you’ve been saying either.”

  “So… you’re really saying you want to… to… like, date me?”

  She squeezed her eyes shut, then braved a look at him. “I don’t know. It might be a total disaster. I mean, we have had our differences, for sure. And I wouldn’t blame you for wanting nothing to do with me after what I did to you. It’s just that… well, I was realizing that if a good relationship means seeing the other person for who they really are, and it means letting that person show you the world in a different way, and if somehow, those two things can come together and make changes for the better… Well, it just seems like that’s already happened between us. But maybe we’ve done too much harm to each other to recover from that.”

  “Well,” he said, reaching over to take her hand again. “Do you think you could ever forgive me for all these contests and all the things I’ve said, the way I treated the ladies on your squad, the way I’ve acted toward you and women in general?”

  His hand felt so warm and wonderful around hers. She wanted to lean in and feel his arms around her, too. “I don’t think you are that same person. The Dustin I saw tonight isn’t that same guy who tried to hit on me and thought it was funny to pretend to attack me in the parking lot.”

  His eyes widened. “I forgot all about that. No, I would never do that again. I mean, what if I had done that after you went through this thing with Hayden and Alex? That would have been terrible for you.”

  “You did, though. Something like this has happened before. In college.”

  He let out a long sigh and dropped his head. “God, I’m an idiot. I’m sorry. I thought it was just playful and fun. I didn’t know you’d been through something so awful, but that’s no excuse. Some things just aren’t funny, I guess.”

  “I’ve dedicated a lot of time to self-defense to make sure nothing like that happens again. Then I got myself mixed up with bear shifters and none of my training mattered. Two of them, being so much faster and stronger... There was nothing I could do to stop them. I feel like it was all for nothing.”

  “It wasn’t though.” He squeezed her hand and smiled. “You fought hard. If you hadn’t, maybe it would have been worse. You didn’t make it easy for them. And maybe your training gave you just enough time for me to get there and help you. I see why humans are so afraid of us. It’s no wonder when we do things like that. And if this becomes public, that’ll be one more strike against shifters.”

  “I didn’t even think about that.”

  “Why would you? It’s not something you’ve ever had to deal with. You’ve never been discriminated against for being something different.”

  “I’ve been discriminated against for being a woman. I know it’s not the same thing as what shifters have faced, but it’s not nothing either. I can’t imagine what it’d be like to be a shifter and a woman.”

  “Most of them are so badass, you wouldn’t think of treating them differently.” He gave her a half smile. “You should meet some of my family sometime. You’d love my aunts.”

  “I’d like to.”

  He ran his fingers through his hair and breathed out hard. “I can’t believe I just said that. I’ve never talked about taking someone home. I’ve never wanted to. And we’re not even… I don’t know what we’re doing.”

  She rubbed her thumb over his, making a path back and forth on his skin. “What do you want this to be?”

  “I don’t know, honestly. I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship. I might just fall back into my old ways.”

  “And I might fall back into mine.”

  He held her gaze and turned thoughtful. “And what if we do? Then what?”

  “I guess we break up and admit we were never right for each other?”

  “Do you think we are right for each other?”

  She pulled her mouth to the side. “Do you… like me?”

  “I’ve spent so much time thinking you were off limits, it’s hard to think about you like that.”

  She swallowed hard again. Of all people, she didn’t think Dustin would turn her down. He really had changed. The old Dustin would have taken the chance to see how far he could get with her. He would have lied and said he was falling her and all the things he said to Claire and Annabelle. He would have done whatever it took to get in her pants. But instead, she was asking him to be with her—okay, so it was in a relationship and not like she was stripping in front of him—but he wasn’t taking the bait. He didn’t want her like that.

  “I understand,” she said. “And I have not treated you well anyway. I don’t blame you.”

  “But the thing is, I always thought you were amazing. I wanted you, not just because you’re hot. But I saw you leading those cheerleaders, and I just thought you were someone who had it all together. And that was special to me. I admire you, Brooklyn, in a way that I’ve never admired anyone.”

  His words were just enough to make her do it. She leaned forward, and his eyes flashed in surprise as she pressed her lips to his. He slid his hand to the back of her neck and closed his eyes as he kissed her back.

  Chapter 32

  The feeling was electric. Just touching him made he
r weak all over. It had been so long, so, so long since she’d been kissed and touched. It wasn’t like she didn’t miss having sex. It was just that she hadn’t felt safe enough with anyone to go to that level. It was worth not having that physical connection if it meant not being hurt in the end. But with Dustin, all those desires came back, burning bright.

  There was a strange trust she had in him. He’d already hurt her. And it was like now that he’d done it, he wouldn’t or couldn’t do it again. He’d treated her as an object, he’d rejected her, but he’d also helped her and changed her. And she could trust him now. After he hadn’t jumped at the chance to sleep with her, she knew things would be different with him.

  As they continued kissing, her heart raced, and her skin felt like it was on fire. She wanted nothing more right then than to feel him on top of her, inside her. The thought made her dizzy with wanting. She needed to be touched all over.

  She waited for it. For him to make the next move. They were sitting up on his couch. He would at some point lean over to lay her down, wouldn’t he? Or ask her to come into his bedroom? Or move to slide his hand under shirt? He’d do something.

  She kissed him back fervently, tugging gently at his hair, letting her fingertips run across his neck, giving him all the signs to move forward, to show him she wanted more. But after several minutes, he didn’t do anything more than kiss her and caress her neck.

  Maybe with all that had happened between them, he needed her to make the first move. It made sense once she thought about it. All the times she’d accused him of only wanting to sleep around. There was no way he’d make a move and take the chance she might say those things again. It was her turn to show him that she wanted him.

  She pushed herself forward toward him so that he was forced to lay back on the couch. Then she lay on top of him, still kissing him, her whole body pressed against his. He was hard, and she pressed her hips into him, rubbing up and down. Their breathing grew heavy and her head swam. She was almost too excited. She could cum right now, just rubbing on him.