Bonded Love

by Renee Roman

  Maybe she should have waited to say something instead of bringing it up after they’d been intimate. Had she ruined the moment? Trinity needed to break the tension. “Even the time I caught you trying to remove your catheter?”

  Blaze groaned and looked up at the ceiling. “It’s not on the top of my list, but you rescued me from disaster, so…yes, even then.” She smiled.

  “Good.” Trinity giggled.

  “Would you like something to eat or drink before you go?” Blaze seemed to want to delay her departure.

  If she stayed any longer, she wouldn’t be able to leave. “I really do have to go. Maybe next time?” Everything inside of her revolted against giving Blaze hope of another encounter, or date, or whatever their times together constituted. She had no expectations when she’d made up her mind to follow Blaze home, but there was no question Blaze was special, and because of that reason, spending more time with her was dangerous. Yet, she couldn’t draw the line in the sand.

  Blaze hesitated, then met her gaze. “I’d like that.” She sounded sincere, but her features were tight, and Trinity wondered what was going on in her head. She didn’t have to wait long.

  “I’ll talk with DJ. Despite her rough exterior, she really is a good person, though she’s always been a tad overprotective.”

  “I don’t want to cause a problem between you two. I can see how close you are.”

  “Don’t worry about us. We’ve been through hard times before. Its par for the course in our friendship.” Blaze leaned in to whisper, as though to tell her a secret. “I’ve been known to be a bit stubborn sometimes, and we’ve had to battle it out to clear the air.”

  She felt the tug of a smile. “You don’t say? I would have never guessed.”

  “Hard to believe, I know.” Blaze smiled that knee-weakening smile of hers. Trinity let out the breath she’d been holding, glad to see Blaze wasn’t upset with her for the revelation.

  They walked together to the door. She turned and placed her hand on Blaze’s chest. “Thank you for tonight. I really enjoyed spending time with you.” She could have elaborated, but the connection between them had turned tentative. When she looked into Blaze’s eyes, they were so communicative and filled with emotion, she knew there was more there than she was sharing.

  Blaze cupped her cheek. “As did I.” Her mouth opened as though she wanted to say more but she quickly glanced away before speaking again. “Do you have far to go once you’re on the main road?”

  “Not too far. I’m near the hospital.” She put her hand on Blaze’s arm. “I really can find my way.”

  Blaze’s brow creased. “Let me do this.” Concern etched her face and tiny worry lines appeared around her mouth.

  Trinity was touched. “Okay.”

  Blaze grabbed her keys and helmet and walked her to her car. “Watch for animals.” She kissed her tenderly.

  “I will.”

  * * *

  The intersection was empty of traffic. Trinity reluctantly waved good-bye in response to Blaze’s raised hand before turning onto the main road. She glanced at the clock on the dash. Three thirty. She and Blaze had been together for almost four hours, a lot longer than a quick hookup. Blaze had shared enough about herself that Trinity had a better sense of why she’d been drawn to her. Not to mention how much she’d enjoyed their time together in bed. Sex with Blaze had been spectacular. Her only regret was that she hadn’t done everything to Blaze she’d wanted. The urge to taste her still lingered, but she’d get over it. They’d left the door open for getting together again, but she wasn’t banking on it. Words didn’t always reflect reality, and she didn’t want to feed her obsession with Blaze. No matter how hot she was. Blaze wasn’t in her life plan and neither was commitment.

  She walked into the house and tossed her things on a chair. She went to the refrigerator and pulled out the jug of iced tea. She poured a glass and drank it down, the taste of Blaze’s mouth mingling with the cold liquid. She touched her swollen lips while visions of the passion they’d shared filled her mind.

  “Did you enjoy your evening?” Kelly asked, startling her from recalling the night.

  “I did.” She refilled her glass. “Want some?”

  Kelly shook her head. “Is she as hot in bed as she looks?” She cocked an eyebrow.

  Trinity smiled. “And then some.” She laughed. “What time did you get home?” She stifled a yawn.

  “A little while after you left.”

  “I’m sorry I woke you.”

  “You didn’t. I had a bad dream.” Kelly glanced at her feet. “You know the kind.” She wiped her brow and attempted to smile but didn’t quite make it.

  She put her arms around Kelly to let her know she did, and it was always horrible. Seeing people die in front of you time and again wasn’t for everyone, and those who chose the medical field bore witness to the atrocities of life, finding it impossible to always remain distant. They were human, after all. “Are you okay?”

  Kelly hugged her and stepped away. This time she met her gaze. “I will be now that I have you to distract me with tales of lust.” She sat at the kitchen table. “Please tell me there was lust.”

  Trinity grabbed a bag of popcorn and sat across from her. “It was better than that. There was steamy passion.” She thought about her choice of words and she couldn’t remember ever using the word passion for a one-night stand. She forced herself not to go there. The last thing she wanted was to be confused about her feelings for Blaze. She liked her and wouldn’t mind seeing her again, but that’s where it ended.

  “Are you okay?” Kelly asked. “I’ve never seen you this way after sleeping with someone.”

  She bristled. “What way?” There wasn’t any reason to be defensive. She’d had sex. Very hot sex. That was all there was to it.

  Kelly thought for a minute. “Like…starry-eyed or something.”

  “Oh, please. I had great sex, which isn’t a word I’d use to describe any of my past encounters. Give me a break.” She grabbed a handful of popcorn and sat back, feigning nonchalance.

  Kelly studied her. “Huh,” she said, then sat back after reaching into the bag, too. “That good?”

  Trinity let out a breath, happy they’d moved onto another subject. “Epic.” Blaze had fulfilled her sexual fantasy of being with a confident butch woman. At least she’d enjoyed their encounter, since it likely wouldn’t happen again.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Blaze had a hard time sleeping and wondered if Trinity turning down staying the night meant she’d only been interested in sex. She shook off the disturbing thought, but it niggled at her throughout the morning until she was distracted by brunch with DJ.

  DJ sipped her mimosa. “What did you end up doing last night?”

  Blaze cut her ham with precise movements. “I had a late dinner at Maxi’s, then went for a drink at Ero.” She chewed thoughtfully, lost in memories.

  “Just one?” DJ teased her.

  Blaze laughed. “Only one.”

  “Sounds pretty sedate to me. I’m surprised we didn’t see each other, but maybe I wasn’t there yet. Jax and I went to a movie before we dropped in for a nightcap.”

  “Hmm. I thought you said we weren’t that old?”

  “We aren’t, but when the woman I plan on hooking up with asks, I go with the flow.”

  “I see. Is that how it goes?” Blaze grinned. “Anyway, I wasn’t there long. I met up with Trinity and we ended up leaving at the same time.” Blaze smiled at the memory of Trinity’s skin under her hands.

  “From the look on your face, I’d say the night didn’t end there.” DJ smiled, but there was something beneath the smile that Blaze assumed had to do with her issues around Trinity, whatever they were.

  “No, it didn’t. We had a good time together.”

  “Come on. ‘Good,’” she said with air quotes, “isn’t normally in your vocabulary.”

  Based on what Trinity told her, she had no intention of giving DJ any details. It w
as time she found out the reason behind her actions. “Why did you tell Trinity to stop visiting me?”

  The color left DJ’s face. “I’m not sure—”

  Blaze held up her hand. “No excuses. I want to hear the real reason.”

  DJ sat back as she pushed her plate away. “Fine. I did it because you had enough on your plate and I didn’t want her to be a distraction from your recovery.”

  “Maybe a distraction was just what I needed.” Blaze leaned forward as her temper flared. “Her absence made me think her visits were based solely on her duty as a nurse.”

  “So I was right. She did have ulterior motives for seeing you.”

  The smug look was more than Blaze could take. “Whether she did or didn’t really doesn’t concern you. My life, my choice.” She resisted slamming her hand on the table. “I would think you’d be happy I’m finally showing a real interest in someone since you never liked the fact that I’d resigned myself to casual, unemotional sex.”

  DJ couldn’t hide the hurt, and Blaze regretted lashing out. Maybe Trinity’s rejection had left her stinging more than she thought.

  “I never meant to do anything to hurt you. You have to know I had good intensions. I’m sorry.”

  She thought about how things had turned out between her and Trinity. Did she really need to make a big deal out of the situation? DJ’s actions had always been in defense of Blaze, even if she’d gone about it in an odd way. That was DJ, and this was just another example of her concern for Blaze’s well-being. Blaze sighed and signaled for coffee. “I know. Just please remember when it comes to the women in my life, what happens is up to me, for good or bad. Got it?”

  DJ nodded. “Yes, ma’am.” She saluted and Blaze laughed. “So, now tell me. Your night was better than most?”

  Blaze’s smile grew. “It was exceptional.” She paused for a long minute. “I’d like to see Trinity again.”

  “So, you’ve decided she’s someone you want to date, even though you’re not into dating?”

  “I know. She’s different.” Blaze looked up. “It’s hard to explain. I asked her to stay the night.”

  DJ didn’t seem fazed. “Did she?”

  “No. She had things to do because today’s her only day off and she’s working tomorrow.” Blaze stared into her mug. “Enough about me. What’s going on with you? Anyone new in your love life?”

  “Nah. I don’t know if I can keep doing this.” She fiddled with her napkin.

  “You were out with Jax last night. What about her? No possibility of long-term?”

  DJ shook her head. “I invest so much energy into a relationship, and I get very little in return. Maybe there’s something wrong with me.”

  Blaze covered DJ’s hand. “There’s nothing wrong with you, honey. You’re a beautiful, intelligent woman. You just haven’t found the right person yet, but I know you will.” She wanted to sound reassuring, but Blaze had her doubts.

  DJ let out an exasperated sigh. “After the last failed relationship, I’ve questioned everything, and wonder what I have to offer. At this rate, I’ll be a wrinkled old lady by the time I find someone else. I don’t think I have it in me to try to find love again.”

  “When it’s right, you know it will happen. Stop grasping at straws. None of your previous partners were good enough for you anyway.” Blaze snagged a raspberry off her cheesecake.

  DJ slapped at her hand. “If you’re my friend, why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Would you have listened?”

  She looked like she was going to protest but didn’t. “Of course not.”

  “Besides, they weren’t bad people, they just weren’t the one.” Blaze lifted her mug. “And that’s something you have to decide for yourself. My assessment might have been wrong, and I wouldn’t want it to come between us.”

  “You mean like what I did with Trinity.”

  Blaze couldn’t argue with that, but DJ already looked dejected. “Your heart was in the right place.”

  “As long as you know it always is.” DJ drained her cup. “You’ll keep me updated with the Trinity situation, right?”

  Blaze grinned. “Yeah. Thanks for the heart-to-heart. It might not turn into anything, but at least I have an idea what I want in my life.” She shrugged. “I’ll figure it out.”

  DJ stood after tossing money on the table. “I know you will. This is on me.”

  “I invited you, remember?” she said while following DJ to the exit, reaching to open the door for her. “Why do you get to pay?”

  “Because sometimes I’m a jerk and you still love me.” DJ kissed her cheek. “Don’t work too hard this week.”

  “You do the same.” Blaze hugged her.

  DJ slid behind the wheel. As she drove, DJ remained quiet and Blaze imagined she was contemplating everything they’d talked about. She wished DJ would find her forever person. She understood what failed relationships could do to a person’s self-esteem. She’d had a few herself. Trinity had made her reassess her situation. Blaze no longer wanted casual sex, knowing the situation was already beyond that for her. She hoped Trinity felt the same way.

  Chapter Twenty

  Blaze opened the garage. Since she wasn’t staining or varnishing anything today, she planned on taking advantage of the opportunity to let the sunshine and fresh air inside. She emptied the grocery bags, stowing the beverages and snacks she’d bought in the refrigerator. A second trip to the SUV produced hangers of clean dress clothes along with a short stack of folded ones on top of her towels. Now that she was back to work full-time, she had to restock the essentials. The process of gathering the items brought a sense of order to her world.

  She sat with a cooling coffee behind her massive desk and surveyed everything in her line of sight. The tools she’d acquired over the years were instruments worthy of her craft. Tables and jigs held pieces for her to work on. A huge partitioned room located in the far corner was used for staining, painting, and drying in a dust-free environment, and had its own ventilation system. She’d done well for herself, and she needed to remember that.

  Blaze picked up the sketch of a new project and selected a piece of wood. Work refocused her. It was her best salve and had been able to calm her when nothing else could. Her phone rang and she glanced at the screen, then smiled.

  “Hi, Pop,” she said. “How are you and Momma?” She tacked the drawing on her board and set it in front of her while she listened.

  “We’re good. Missing our only daughter is all.”

  Her father’s voice was still strong, but it sounded less so than the last time they’d talked just a few weeks ago, and the change concerned her.

  “Work busy?”

  She glanced at the stack of papers on the spindle. Orders had piled up while she was in PT, but she was beginning to tackle some of the bigger projects. “I’m staying out of trouble for sure. Have you been hiking lately?”

  He laughed. “Whenever I can drag your mother away from the sewing machine. You know she’s already started on Christmas presents. Hope you put your order in early.”

  Her mother shared her love of creating handmade items and gave them as gifts to family and friends in their circle. Blaze requested a dining room set including tablecloth, napkins, and a runner. Her mom had beamed at the request. Her father had made the table and chairs a couple of years ago, and she thought it fitting. “I did. Are Aunt Ellen and Uncle Bob coming for the Thanksgiving gathering?” They weren’t her only relatives, but they were her favorite, especially since her uncle’s disposition was so much like her grandfather’s. They had accepted her announcement of her sexuality by pulling her into a tight hug and letting her know they loved her for who she was. It had been too long since she’d seen them, too.

  “Oh, yeah. They’re coming. Staying a couple of weeks, I think. I don’t know why Bob keeps working. He should have retired last year before his side business took off, but you know him, he loves being busy.”

  “Must be in our blood.” She smile
d and her father laughed. “How’s Momma feeling?” Her mother had been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis a while ago. She had good days and bad. The doctor told her it would be better to live in a warmer climate, but she wouldn’t hear of it. She loved the seasons even more than Blaze did, and she couldn’t picture her mother anywhere but in the family home.

  “She has her days. Lately more good than not. She’s in the garden. I know she’d love to talk with you if you have time.”

  Blaze flinched. There was nothing she would like better than to see her parents more. The accident had been a blessing in many ways. Having her family together, even if they did drive her a little crazy at times, was one she was grateful for. It also reminded her life was short and family was important. Though there wasn’t any direct route to Old Forge, she needed to make more time for the two most important people in her life. “I always have time for you and Momma, even when I don’t seem to.”

  “Good. That’ll make her happy. Hold on.”

  The old screen door creaked. “Millie, our daughter’s on the phone.”

  “Lord, it’s been ages,” her mother said in the background.

  “Oh, now, don’t go making a fuss. She’s been busy in her shop and that’s a good thing.”

  “Blaze, honey, you there?” her mother asked.

  “Hi, Momma. How are you feeling? And don’t blow smoke, okay?” Her mother never wanted to admit she wasn’t one hundred percent, though Blaze could always see when she was in pain. The small crow’s feet at the corner of her eyes deepened, and her otherwise smooth forehead became lined.

  “Better now that I hear your voice. Today is a good day. The new med seems to be working. And your father…well, he’s my Nurse Ratched.” She laughed heartily and Blaze was warmed by the sound. Her mother had always been the rock of the family, finding ways to turn situations around and eke out the good in them. Blaze hoped she was following in her mother’s footsteps, though there were times when she questioned that skill.