Bonded Love

by Renee Roman

  She took their empty plates and went to the kitchen, not wanting to discuss the haves and have nots of life. Kelly would find the perfect woman, marry, have kids, and settle down. Trinity had no intention of following her lead. Not when she had a secure, successful career in her grasp. All she had to do was stay focused, and if that meant having the occasional sexual encounter and nothing more, so be it.

  After Kelly went to bed, Trinity stayed up. The TV was on, but she wasn’t paying attention. Every time she thought of Blaze, her mind became jumbled. Blaze wasn’t a woman to be played with. She deserved more than simple sex, because the sex they’d shared had been anything but simple. The emotions she experienced had gone much deeper, leaving her feeling as though she was missing something important. I should tell Blaze I can’t get involved. But then, Blaze might not want more, right? She seemed happy with flirting and friendship though she sensed there might be something deeper. Maybe telling Blaze she didn’t want to be involved was jumping the gun and being presumptuous.

  Trinity rubbed her eyes as fatigue set in. No matter how much she weighed the pros and cons of seeing Blaze more, she couldn’t let her emotions win over practicality. Bottom line, her job came first, because without the security of income she could easily fall into the abyss of becoming a statistic in a relationship torn apart by financial misery. That was one thing she would never allow herself to do.

  Chapter Twenty-two

  “Well, look who the tomcat dragged in.”

  “It’s good to see you too, Pop.” After a fierce hug, Blaze sank into the chair next to his. He’d know something was eating at her and would gravitate to the one he always occupied whenever he was in the living room. “Momma around, or did you finally have enough and bury her in the yard?” Her father laughed. It was a standing joke between them, and one she never grew tired of.

  “She’s out back, puttering with that damn rose bush.” Her father blew out a heated breath, but she knew his love-hate relationship with the rose bush was just a farce. He’d given it to her mother on their fifth anniversary and she had insisted it be planted beside the back stairs so she could smell it every time she walked out on the porch. She’d nurtured it until it was a monstrosity and the trellis she cajoled him into building had done little to keep the spreading vines from tearing at the clothes of anyone who wasn’t paying attention and got too close. He’d tried to cut it back, but her mother had nearly beheaded him with his own pruning shears when she saw what he was going to do.

  “Aww. Glad to see you still love it as much as she does.” Blaze got up and went to find her. Josh had made a stop at the grocer, planning to cook on the old Weber their parents still owned. When she saw it sitting in the same spot it always had, she smiled. Memories continued to rush in with the simple times of family barbeques and laughter. Family. Her heart seized in her chest. She hadn’t thought much about how she’d grown up until recently. At one time she thought she’d never want children of her own, but when she thought of her grandfather and all she’d learned from him, she couldn’t imagine not having a role model like him in her life. She’d been with him in the end when he’d slipped quietly away while she held his hand. She missed him terribly.

  “I think you love that bush more than you love Pop.” Blaze walked down the middle of the stairs. She reached out and touched her mother’s weathered face, amazed at how soft her skin felt even though she never lost her tan. Her mother was frailer than she remembered, too. Or maybe her eyes were more open.

  “Only because it doesn’t sass me back like your father.” Her mother kissed her cheek and Blaze gave her a tender hug. “To what do we owe the honor? I didn’t think we’d see you until Thanksgiving.” She turned back to her beloved bloom-covered vines. Despite the late season, they remained until the first snow. In all the years Blaze had watched her tend to it, she’d never seen her bleed from a thorn.

  “Josh came by and talked some sense into me. Told me to stop being a jerk.”

  Her mother faced her. “He said that to you?” Shock laced her voice.

  Blaze laughed. “Not those exact words, but it’s what he meant when we had a heart-to-heart.”

  “Good. For a minute there I thought I was going to have to look for his body.” She giggled, then looked through the screen door. “So, where is he?”

  She was just about to tell her when the distinctive Harley roared up the road. “You can rest easy, Momma. Your little boy is home.”

  “I hear. I wish he wouldn’t drive that damn thing.” They exchanged a knowing look. “At least not so fast.”

  Blaze’s own bike was just as big and just as powerful, and she was certain her mother was thinking about her accident. Unlike her brother, she’d always respected the machine and its power, learning a long time ago that showing off and taking chances weren’t worth the possibility of dying. Josh hadn’t had a close call yet, although he seemed more aware of riding safely since she’d been hit by the drunk driver. Either way, he was an adult and how he chose to ride was up to him. Not that she hadn’t had the “You know…” conversation. She made sure they were on the same page the week he bought it. But he’d been young and headstrong. Blaze couldn’t control him any more than their parents could, and she refused to live in the “What-if” world for the rest of her days. Josh, to be sure, likely felt the same.

  “He’ll be okay, Momma. He’s still young. He’ll learn he doesn’t need speed to prove his manhood.” Her mother nodded. Blaze knew she wasn’t in total agreement, but a prolonged conversation wouldn’t change her brother’s behavior.

  Josh came bounding out of the house with his usual enthusiasm. “Mom, I’m home.”

  “So I heard.” She hugged him hard, like her father had her.

  “Did you hear I’m cooking dinner, too?” Josh held her at arm’s length, wearing a huge grin.

  “No. Do I have to worry about you burning the house down?”

  “Only if I move that old grill inside,” he said. Josh pecked her mother’s cheek and she swatted his ass. They all laughed.

  Blaze left them alone and went to find her father. He was still in his chair, the newspaper spread between his sinewy arms. He looked up at her, then folded the paper when she resumed her seat.

  “As much as I love seeing you, you’re not one for social visits.” His words made her wince. His eyes softened. “You are my daughter. For good or bad, you take after me.”

  She blew out a breath. She’d always been able to tell her father everything that was going on in her life. Today should be no different. “I’m lonely, Pop.” There. She’d said it.

  “Okay.” Her father leaned forward, intently watching her, listening with more than just his ears. “So what does that mean?

  She thought about her choice of words. “It means,” she said, “I’m ready to get serious about…dating.” Her father stared for a minute and she endured his scrutiny. It wasn’t uncomfortable because she could see the love in his eyes. “And maybe start a family of my own.”

  “Is this your way of telling me you’re pregnant?”

  Blaze laughed. A full and hearty sound that felt good, too. Her shoulders relaxed. She needed this. Needed her father’s words of wisdom and her family’s love to reassure her all was right with her world. Or at least it would be.

  “That would be a resounding no.” She took a breath. What did it mean? She’d been contemplating the question for months. “I can’t see myself as the birthing type.” Her father smiled. He knew her so well. “It means I’m ready to look for a long-term partner. One who wants a family, too. With me, one day.”

  “Family is a blessing, Blaze. I know firsthand how much mine means to me.” His eyes misted for a few minutes before he reached for her. “You’ll be a wonderful parent.” He squeezed her hand. “I was wondering if you’d ever get the bug.”

  Blaze squeezed his weathered, rough hand in return. Years of working with wood and the tools of the trade had taken its toll on them. “Thanks, Pop. You and Momma showe
d me how it’s done. I hope I do half as well with my children.”

  “I have no doubt they’ll know how much they’re loved. That’s the key.”

  She nodded, knowing how true his words resonated with her. “How did you know Momma was ‘the one.’ Your forever person?”

  His mouth quirked in a half-smile. “That was easy. She told me.”

  She pictured her mother doing just that, not leaving any room for him to question the wisdom of her declaration.

  “Is there someone special who’s caught your eye?”

  Blaze took time to consider her answer. Finally, she met his hopeful gaze. “Maybe, Pop. Only time will tell.”

  Trinity had immediately come to mind when he’d asked. Granted she was beautiful and sexy, and they’d been spectacular in bed together. They still didn’t know much about each other, but that was what dating was all about, yet she wondered if she was chasing shadows. Blaze understood there had to be a meaning behind the visions she kept having whenever she thought of Trinity. The only problem? She didn’t have a clue if it was just wishful thinking on her part.

  She started to say so when the screen door banged closed as Josh and her mother came in.

  “Uh-oh. I think we’re interrupting a moment.” Josh shared a small smile. He’d had a few of his own moments with their parents, but usually with her mother. She’d always gone to her father for advice or when something was bothering her.

  “Lucky for you we’re done.” Blaze slid her hand from her father’s and stood. “Now, about that dinner you promised.”

  “I’ve got the grill, sis. You can make the salad and fix the potatoes. I know how much you love being in the kitchen.”

  Cooking was one of her favorite activities. She loved puttering in her mother’s quaint kitchen, so unlike her own gourmet one. Sometimes the intimate space was more to her liking. This was one of those times.

  “Lucky for you.” She picked up a kitchen towel and chucked it at him, laughing. He’d shown up at the perfect time. It was good to be around family.

  Chapter Twenty-three

  “I hope you don’t mind me dropping by.” Blaze leaned on the counter of the station.

  Trinity closed the distance between them. “Not at all. Are you okay?” Blaze didn’t look distressed, but she wasn’t sure.

  “I’m fine. I was wondering,” Blaze said, then glanced around. Several staff milled about. “Do you have time for lunch?”

  She couldn’t help but smile as Blaze’s confident demeanor turned nervous. “I don’t usually have time for a real lunch.” Blaze’s face fell. “But you’re in luck. It’s quiet for now. I think I can be away for a bit.”

  “Great.” Blaze appeared relieved. “Where would you like to go?”

  “I can’t leave the building, but the cafeteria food isn’t as horrible as people think.”

  “Right. I should have figured that out. The cafeteria is fine. I really just want to spend time with you.” A light blush traveled up her neck.

  “Let me get some money and…” Trinity said.

  “My treat. Isn’t that the way it works?” Blaze grinned, her confidence back.

  “True. I’ll tell the staff I’m grabbing a meal, then we can go.”

  They walked in silence. It felt as though something big was about to happen, but she had no idea what it could be. They picked a few dishes that appeared innocuous and settled at a small table tucked off to the side. She blew across her spoonful of soup.

  “Were you here for your arm?”

  Blaze took a breath. “No. I came to see you.”

  Trinity’s own breathing sped up and she was unsure where to lead the conversation.

  “I thought it would be nice to just…talk.”

  But that’s where Blaze stopped and she was determined to keep her talking. “Tell me about your work. How you came to be a carpenter.”

  Blaze snagged a chip from her bag and slowly chewed. “I grew up with the scent of fresh cut wood. Pine, cedar, teak. You name it. My father built with all types of natural wood, depending on the project. As soon as I was old enough to realize he was out in the barn, I went to be with him and Grandpa. They were both patient and explained everything they were doing. I kept asking if I could do it too, but my father shook his head and said, ‘Someday.’ My someday came when I was seven. A scrap of wood and a small carving blade. They made me promise to be careful and not tell my mother, but she knew. It took me a long time to carve a heart from that scrap of wood, but I did it. I gave it to her as a birthday present. She cried.” Her eyes glistened.

  “Sounds like a beautiful present.” Trinity wanted her to go on telling stories and reliving fond memories forever. The worry lines around her mouth smoothed, and the crow’s feet all but disappeared. What Trinity really wanted was more time with Blaze. Endless days and nights.

  “She still has it on the stand next to her chair. Josh gives me a hard time about it when we’re both home, but I think it’s a bit of envy. He never had the intuitive nature to work wood.”

  Trinity knew about envy. She experienced the same thing whenever she witnessed the kind of love she’d never felt between her family members. She’d seen the love Blaze’s family had for each other the night of the accident. “Sounds like you’re all close.”

  “We are.” Blaze finished her sandwich and wiped her mouth, then looked up. “What are you doing for Thanksgiving?”

  The question surprised her and caught her off guard. “Probably working. I’m scheduled off because I have seniority, but if someone asks me to cover for them I will.”

  “Is your family far from here?”

  Blaze had no way of knowing she preferred to stay away. Holidays were just another excuse to get drunk. She hadn’t spent a holiday with her parents in years. “No.” When she didn’t elaborate, Blaze tilted her head in acknowledgement and picked up the conversation.

  “What about Kelly? Is she working, too?” Blaze asked.

  She nodded. “She has the early shift, then she’ll head to her brother’s in Massachusetts.”

  “You don’t go with her?”

  “No. She asks every year, but Kelly rarely sees her family.” What she really wanted to say was she would be uncomfortable as a third wheel. Kelly often asked the person she was dating at the time.

  “Come home with me.”

  The thought of being around such a warm, loving environment was tempting, but she couldn’t impose. “Oh, Blaze. It’s kind of you to ask, but I couldn’t.”

  “Why not? I know they’d love to see you again. I have to warn you though, the Carters are a boisterous group when we all get together.” Blaze reached for her hand. “At least consider coming with me. Please?”

  Trinity bit the inside of her cheek to keep the emotions welling inside at bay. The look in Blaze’s eyes was genuine, and she knew she’d likely have a wonderful time, yet she hesitated. Spending a holiday with someone’s family spoke of commitment, and she wasn’t sure, despite her feelings for Blaze, if she wanted to get in that deep.

  “I’ll think about it.” It would likely be the only thing she would think about.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Kelly had disappeared into the club fashion section while Trinity went to the nightlife and formal occasions section, not sure if she’d have any better luck than the last four stores they’d been in. Whether she deserved a little extravagance or not wasn’t the question. She refused to spend more than a week’s salary on a dress she would likely only wear a few times over the next couple of years, if that.

  The good news was she had completed the second part of her application for head trauma nurse—her practical. The questions revolved around protocols, common practices, prioritization, multitasking, and a demonstration of remaining cool under pressure with a mock scenario of multiple patients arriving in the ED at the same time. She’d had to triage and assign staff while taking care of the most critical patient herself. She thought she’d done well, only stumbling once when she hesit
ated a minute in deciding between a heart attack patient and someone who’d been involved in a shooting. Her examiners had assured her the mock setting was harder than real life. In an actual emergency she’d have multiple staff to help make those decisions. It hadn’t made her feel any better, but at least it was over, and all her studying had paid off.

  She’d originally thought a black dress would be her best choice, but with the selection in front of her she might have to reconsider. She wanted a dress that roared notice me. One that would have people turn their heads to take a second look—and then a third. She ran her fingers over the edge of the hangers like she was going through a recipe card box. Navy blue, burgundy, purple, green. She stopped and held out the emerald green dress, taking in the intricate pattern of tiny sparkling stones along one sleeve and over the shoulder, before spreading down its length into a shower of sparks not unlike fireworks at night. It was stunning. It was also over her self-imposed budget.

  “Try it on,” Kelly said from the next rack. “It will really highlight your hair and eyes.”

  “It’s too expensive.” Trinity chewed her lip. It was expensive, but she couldn’t let go of the soft, shimmering material.

  Kelly lifted the hanger from the rack and turned her in the direction of the dressing rooms. “If it looks like shit then there’s no harm, no foul.”