Bonded Love

by Renee Roman

  Her words warmed Trinity. Praise wasn’t something she took for granted since she hadn’t gotten much growing up. “Thanks.”

  The gala wasn’t being held at the Pride Center because it wasn’t large enough, but there was a beautiful former bank next door that had been converted into an events venue and that’s where they were going. Valet parking was part of the package, but she wasn’t sure if Blaze wanted to trust the car jockeys with her rental. “If you want to park the car yourself, I don’t mind walking.”

  “Nonsense.” Blaze put the car in park. “That’s what they have insurance for.” A valet approached her door and she got out, meeting Blaze on the sidewalk where she offered her arm.

  “You are absolutely stunning, and I am very grateful you chose to have me on your arm tonight.”

  Trinity wasn’t sure how to feel. The doorperson was waiting, there’d be photographers inside, and she had the hottest butch she’d ever been with next to her. She decided for this night, if only for tonight, she would just enjoy every moment of being with Blaze and try her best not to bring the night down by mentioning anything to do with her career goals. Tonight was a night for celebration and fun, and with Blaze beside her, she could easily do that.

  “Then let’s go show them all how proud we are to be part of the community,” Trinity said.

  Blaze walked beside her; the soft soles of her Italian shoes soundless on the concrete walkway. Trinity’s dress moved with her, gently swaying around her legs and brushing the tops of her feet. The more she was beside Blaze, the less she noticed their height difference, likely due to Blaze never looking down at her. Her gaze met Blaze’s on what felt like even ground in a way she’d never felt before. The door opened and they stepped through into the growing throng of attendees. She took her invitation from her bag and handed it to the man at the podium. He nodded and pressed the microphone button.

  “Trinity Greene and Blaze Carter, patron sponsors.” There was mild applause as they were ushered to the photo area. That’s when she became aware of the hushed voices and low whispers gathering around them. She tilted her face to Blaze who smiled at her with such adoration it made her breathless.

  “No worries, love. They can’t believe how beautiful you are. Neither can I.” She raised their hands between them and brushed her lips over Trinity’s. “Shall we give them what they’re waiting for?”

  She swallowed her initial trepidation about people staring at them and tried not to focus on Blaze using the word love. “Absolutely.” She turned to the photographer and smiled as Blaze wrapped her arm around her, her fingers resting lightly on her bare back. After several flashes and a few poses, they moved into the crowd. Those nearest greeted them with words like, “beautiful,” and “simply gorgeous.” Her favorite was “stunning couple.” She thought so too, though she still hadn’t seen their reflection. She was about to guide Blaze toward the bar when she heard a familiar voice call to her.

  “Trinity.” Carol Templeton rushed to greet her with a fierce hug. “I’m so happy you were able to attend this year’s event. It’s so good to see you.” Carol was the first person who’d introduced her to the vibrant queer community in the area where she attended college. She’d never had such a big support group, and she’d been grateful to be welcomed with open arms. Carol stepped back to face Blaze, then extended her hand. “I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure. Carol Templeton, director of Capital Pride Center.”

  “Blaze Carter. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She looked around at the venue. “This is a beautiful setting for a wonderful event. Thank you for all you do.”

  “How kind of you to say.” Carol turned to Trinity. “Handsome and well-mannered is my kind of woman. You’d better keep her close.” She leaned in and whispered. “There’s a number of single women here. Someone’s going to snatch her up if you don’t.” She winked and stepped back. “Have fun.”

  She wrapped her arm around Blaze’s, and they headed for the bar. Little did Carol know she had every intention of keeping Blaze close. Just because she wasn’t planning on falling into bed with her at the end of the evening didn’t mean she was going to act as though they were just friends.

  “That was interesting,” Blaze said as they stood in line to give their order. “What would you like?”

  She winced, not sure if Blaze had been offended by Carol’s inference that Blaze was rather like a prize that others would be interested in winning. “A bag to hide in?”

  Blaze’s hearty laughter was a welcome sound. “Don’t worry about Ms. Templeton’s comments. I’ve certainly heard worse.”

  They stepped up to the bar together, and Blaze tipped her head as she pulled a money clip from her pocket. Trinity ordered a whiskey on the rocks, while Blaze ordered a club soda with a twist, keeping to her promise of being the designated driver. She placed a twenty on the bar before heading to one of the cocktail tables.

  Blaze stirred her drink before removing the stick, then held up her glass. “To women who can shoot whiskey, among other things.” Her eyes twinkled with mischief.

  She laughed. “And to women who aren’t afraid to be who they are.” She lifted her glass and touched Blaze’s. The band began to play a slow waltz and people started to move toward the dance floor.

  “Shall we show them how it’s done?” Blaze asked and held out her hand.

  “It’s been ages since I’ve even tried.” The last time she’d waltzed was at a friend’s wedding. The man who’d led her around the dance floor was okay, but she’d felt uncomfortable in his grasp and faltered several times.

  “Just follow my lead and you’ll do fine.” When Trinity hesitated, she stepped closer. “Trust me.”

  She hadn’t thought about the need to trust anyone other than herself since she was a teenager. People didn’t keep their promises and when they did, there was often an ulterior motive. That was a long time ago, though, and Blaze wasn’t anyone she’d known back then. It was time she let go of her childish fears and enjoy the moment. She nodded and took Blaze’s hand. Blaze led her to an open space on the large dance floor, wrapped her arm around her waist, and held out her hand. She took a breath, knowing people were watching. She didn’t want to embarrass Blaze…or herself. They began to move in a square, the basic waltz pattern, but she lost track when she glanced down and stumbled. Blaze held her tighter.

  “Look at me, baby. Just me. Trust me with your body like you did before.”

  Their night in bed together came rushing to the foreground. She remembered letting go. Letting Blaze follow where she led, and then Blaze taking over, paying attention to every nuance of her. When she sighed. When she moaned. When she needed more, and where, and how. Trinity needed her to take the lead now.

  Blaze started them off again, but this time she curled their joined hands into her chest, keeping Trinity closer. She slipped into the gray haze of Blaze’s eyes, into the world of possibility she saw there. The crowd fell away and her body followed Blaze’s. Soon they were moving in big sweeping arcs across a vast space, but she didn’t look away, not trusting her own ability to not focus on the faces she might see in the crowd.

  “Breathe, darling. I don’t want you passing out.”

  She wasn’t aware she’d been holding her breath, but after she sucked in much needed air, she moved easier, and listened to Blaze’s voice in her ear.

  “Breathe, two, three, four.”

  She found the rhythm intoxicating. Then she found herself in a deep dip and for a second, she panicked, but Blaze had her, holding her as though she were no more than a feather. She looked into her eyes, watching them darken as she leaned closer still. For a brief instant, she thought Blaze was going to kiss her before she brought her upright again and they circled the dance floor once more before the music ended. Her heart pounded in her chest. Blood rushed through her veins. Blaze held her hand and ended their dance with a slight bow. The room erupted into applause. Trinity glanced around in surprise. The dance floor was empty except for her and
Blaze.

  “You danced beautifully. I think you owe them a bow.”

  So, she did. The heat in her face remained long after they retrieved their drinks. If the last half hour was any indication, she was going to have the best time of her life, and Blaze was going to be responsible. Trinity couldn’t have been happier with her decision to invite her.

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Blaze took a breath. Then another. She’d fought with every ounce of strength she had in her to remember Trinity wasn’t her girlfriend. Hell, she wasn’t even sure if this was an actual date, though it certainly felt like one. She had enjoyed meeting more of the community and those who supported it, but without a doubt the highlight of her entire evening were the moments Trinity had been in her arms.

  They’d taken a break from dancing and had mingled during the remainder of the cocktail hour. A few women commented on Trinity’s gown, envy in their eyes. After the short speeches and award presentations, they’d been served a delicious meal of filet mignon and sea bass, two of her favorites. The band continued to softly play in the background while they ate. Plates were being cleared and a dessert table appeared on the side of the room, but she was too full to eat anything else. All she wanted to do was glide across the floor with Trinity for the remainder of the evening. She loved dancing. Loved live music, and even more so when she had someone she cared about to dance with. She stood the moment Trinity slid her chair back and offered her hand.

  “Thank you,” Trinity said.

  “Would you like another drink?” Trinity had only drunk water at dinner, while she’d stuck to seltzer.

  “I think I would. I’ve been pacing myself.” Trinity smiled.

  Blaze lightly rested her hand on Trinity’s back, still not sure how she was managing not to ravish her. “I promised I’d refrain so you could enjoy yourself.” She ordered and slid another twenty onto the bar.

  “I know, and I am enjoying myself. I don’t want to lose control and become an embarrassment to either of us.”

  “You would never do that.” Blaze handed off the drink and gestured to one of the many small tables surrounding the dance floor.

  “How do you know I wouldn’t?” Trinity sipped her cocktail.

  “Because you’re too sophisticated, and this isn’t the place to go wild.”

  “Where would be the place to go wild?” Trinity asked.

  The blood left the rest of her body and rushed between her thighs, settling there and making her center heavy. She glanced at Trinity’s lips, then her full breasts resting in perfect position on her chest beneath the shimmering material. She’d lost the ability to think, but she hoped her mouth still worked. “I could think of a few places.”

  Trinity’s eyes hazed over, her hand at her throat, as though she was lost in her own fantasies, and Blaze desperately wanted to know what they were. A familiar tune started to play, and Trinity rose. “Dance with me.”

  She managed to get her feet under her, praying her suit was dark enough to hide the moisture that had collected. “Gladly.” She found an opening and wrapped Trinity in her arms, holding her close, but not quite touching. Blaze was unsure if she could refrain from pressing herself against Trinity’s body if it came in contact with hers. They moved as though they’d been dancing together for years instead of hours.

  “Are you afraid of me?”

  Blaze smiled at the strange question. “I’m only afraid of what you do to me.”

  “And what do I do to you, my handsome escort?” Trinity’s mouth twitched at the corners.

  “You are so stunningly beautiful. I want you,” she whispered in her ear. Trinity gasped. “But I also want to take you slow. Worship you. Show you how much you’ve affected every single person here tonight.” She pulled back enough to see Trinity’s eyes, to watch their rapidly changing color. To see the desire in them that clearly matched her own. She’d promised Trinity she would take care of her for the evening, and she had. Now she wanted what she had no right to want. Blaze wanted all of her. Her body…without question. But she also wanted her heart, and she was afraid it was the one thing she couldn’t have. “I want to show you how much your inner and outer beauty has me mesmerized.”

  Trinity seemed to be warring with herself. Her eyes spoke volumes and mirrored Blaze’s longing, yet her body had stiffened as though she were battling some inner force. She didn’t want to find out if she’d be on the losing side, so she did the only thing she could. Blaze pulled Trinity closer until their bodies melded together, and they danced.

  For the next hour, she luxuriated in the privilege of being the one Trinity was with. The one she lavished her attention on. The couple people saw unquestionably as together, leaving no room for another to step in her place. When she returned from a much-needed trip to the restroom, Trinity turned and found her with unerring accuracy. She said a few words to the couple she was talking to and made her way to Blaze.

  “If you don’t mind calling it a night, I’m ready to be out of these shoes.”

  Blaze had wondered for at least the sixth time how any woman could stand on her toes for an entire evening and look so at ease doing it. “Of course. Is there anyone you want to see before we go?”

  Trinity shook her head. “I already thanked Carol, so I’m good.”

  She led the way through the revelers who were still going strong and handed her claim ticket to one of the female valets. The evening had turned crisp. Trinity gathered her wrap around her shoulders, and Blaze put her arm around her.

  “Cold?”

  Trinity laid her head on her chest, and Blaze inhaled her perfume. It reminded her of the fresh scent of spring. “Not now.” Trinity snuggled in tighter.

  There were so many thoughts swirling through her head, she didn’t know what to say or where to begin. She felt a deep connection with Trinity and though neither had mentioned being exclusive, she wanted to talk about seeing her more. The rental car pulled to a stop in front of them and she held the door open while Trinity slid in. Blaze knelt and removed her shoes, rubbing each foot in turn. Trinity’s hand rested on her arm for a moment and she smiled before straightening in her seat. Blaze rounded the front and handed the valet a tip, then unbuttoned her jacket and got in. She turned the heat on low while the GPS calculated their route home. Blaze glanced at Trinity who appeared lost in thought.

  “Everything okay?”

  Trinity’s gaze met hers. “Thank you for being such a wonderful…” Her lips pursed, as though she were trying to find the right words.

  “Dancer? Butch? Date?” she asked, not quite sure where Trinity was going with her comment.

  Laughter filled the car. “Well, you’re certainly all of those, but that’s not what I wanted to tell you.”

  “What did you want to tell me?” She was trying to pay attention to the Saturday night traffic and to Trinity, whose solemn demeanor made her anxious.

  Trinity shook her head. “It’s not important.” She glanced out the side window and Blaze knew there was more than Trinity was willing to share.

  She laid her hand on Trinity’s thigh and felt the muscle tighten. “The gala was fun. And my dance partner was not only beautiful but accomplished.” Blaze gave a small squeeze before reluctantly moving her hand away. “Whatever’s bothering you, I wish you’d talk to me.”

  Trinity looked down at her hands folded in her lap on top of the clutch. “It’s been a long time since I’ve enjoyed an evening out like this. All dressed up, and not thinking about…other things.”

  “That’s good. Right?” Blaze maneuvered off the highway and into town, moving more confidently now that she was in familiar territory. At least geography-wise.

  “It is.” Trinity nodded. When she raised her head, her eyes shimmered. “But I don’t want…can’t…get used to it. My career comes first. I have my eye on that promotion and it will mean everything I’ve worked so hard for was worth the sacrifices.”

  Blaze’s heart sank with a resounding thud. If she understood wh
at she was hearing, Trinity was picking her career over a relationship, meaning she would come in second on the list of priorities. That’s not what she wanted for her future. She wanted a partner who would put as much into the relationship as Blaze would.

  “So, there’s no chance of anyone getting close?” Blaze pulled into the driveway and turned off the car. She moved so she could look directly at Trinity, knowing this moment would define if there was any possibility of taking their relationship to the next level.

  Trinity took a breath. “Not in the foreseeable future.” She looked away again. “I feel like I’ve misled you and that was never my intention. Being with you tonight…I found myself wanting more. More time with you. More of the way you treat me as though I’m special and—”

  “That’s because you are special. Whatever may make you think otherwise, everything you felt from me was real.” She brought Trinity’s hand to her lips and kissed it. “Still is.”

  Trinity gave her a sad smile. “I know, and that’s why I have to tell you I can’t make promises about tomorrow or the future. I’ve worked too hard, for too long, to rise above where I came from to throw it away. My career comes first. I come first.”

  She didn’t want to count out a future with Trinity, but she also wasn’t willing to sacrifice her heart for a woman she was just getting to know. “I understand, but I wish there was room for both your career and me.”

  “So do I. But all I have to offer right now is casual and occasional. Nothing more.” Trinity leaned forward and brushed her lips over Blaze’s. She glanced at the apartment, then back. “If you’d like to come inside, knowing that…”

  As much as she had envisioned taking Trinity into her arms to make love to her, Blaze didn’t want to invest her heart in someone who might never be able to give the same in return. It would be too painful to find out she would always take second place. Blaze steeled herself for whatever would happen in the next few minutes. She got out of the car and opened Trinity’s door, and Trinity slid her shoes on. Once they were standing face-to-face, she ran her fingertips along Trinity’s cheek, her emotions raging for dominance while her mind was in turmoil and her body was on fire.