Bonded Love

by Renee Roman

  Including beer as an option was meant to lighten the tension that hung between them, but since that failed, she stood a short distance away, though it felt like miles were between them. “Do you want to sit in the nook?”

  Trinity glanced over. “Uh, do you mind not? Our last conversation there didn’t end so well and I’m hoping we don’t repeat it.”

  Her brain wasn’t functioning. She should have remembered. “I’ve got the perfect place. Grab your jacket.” She placed their drinks on a tray, along with napkins and the donuts, then pulled on a heavy flannel shirt from the hook by the back door. “Follow me.” The sun shone brightly and would provide warmth, just like Trinity’s gaze always did. They walked along the stone path, taking the left fork. When she reached her destination, Blaze set the tray down and sat.

  “This is beautiful.” Trinity slid onto the facing seat before running her hand over the smooth surfaces.

  The double Amish glider with a wooden roof had been one of the first projects she’d completed after the house. It was where she often came with a sketch pad to design furniture. “Thank you. It’s one of my favorite pieces.” She glanced at the small pond thirty feet from where they sat, and the variety of the tall autumn flowers she planted in the rock garden. There’d been a few nights of frost, and the blooms appeared frozen in time. “I come out here to work sometimes. No electronics.”

  Trinity sat back. For the first time since arriving, she looked relaxed, and Blaze knew she’d picked the right place for their talk.

  “If I lived here, I’d spend hours out here, too.” Trinity looked off in the distance, as though lost in the moment. Or maybe she was thinking country life wasn’t so bad after all.

  “You can come out here any time you want. There’s solar path lights to lead the way when it’s dark.” She opened the pastry bag to look at the selection and chose a glazed donut. When she looked up, Trinity was staring. “What?”

  “Are you serious?”

  She looked back in the bag. “There’s another glazed. You can have this one.” Trinity’s hand touched hers, sending a familiar shock of electricity up her arm.

  “Not that. About offering your home to me?”

  Blaze wanted to pull her close and kiss her. Instead she shrugged, as though the gesture she’d made was no big deal. “Yeah. It’s a big place with lots of room. Plenty more than one person needs.” There was a lump in her throat. Blaze had spent a lot of time thinking since Trinity left. She’d built the house and areas throughout the property for herself and a partner to enjoy. It wasn’t being utilized in the way she’d originally imagined, and as hard as it was to admit, she was lonelier than she ever thought she’d be. Every day she grew a little more so.

  “You built everything with a family of your own in mind, didn’t you?”

  Tears stung her eyes. She wanted a family that included Trinity, but she still wasn’t sure they could mend broken fences. “It’s been a dream for a while now, and the older I get, the more I realize how much. I even left a downstairs wall structurally ready for an addition. You know, in case there’s a need for more bedrooms.” She broke off a piece of the donut and chewed, but when she tried to swallow, it stuck in her throat. She gulped milk. It’s now or never. “You had a dream, too, and it drove your actions. It’s part of who you are, right?”

  Trinity reached into the bag and pulled out a frosted donut. She took a healthy bite then dropped it onto her napkin, washing it down with milk. “I don’t want you to misunderstand what drove me to work so hard.”

  “And to run so fast at the mention of family?” Blaze shared a crooked smile. They’d beaten around the bush long enough. She had to focus on why she’d asked Trinity to come here.

  “About that…” Trinity’s cheeks colored. “It wasn’t the thought of having a family with you. It was knowing how terribly wrong a situation can turn when people aren’t paying attention.”

  She understood the logic, though in their case she didn’t think it applied. She leaned forward, wanting Trinity’s full attention. “I can only assume that your parents didn’t have the best start in life, and it manifested itself with children and a whole host of other complications. You and I, we have what it takes to make us work. I know in my heart we’d be good together.” When Trinity didn’t look away, she went on. “Yes, I want a family. I want to leave a legacy. I want children to pass my knowledge on to. Just like my father and his father before him. I know you’d be an outstanding mother because you understand what it’s like not to feel loved and cared for. And I’d do my damnedest to be one, too.” Blaze took her hand, feeling the tremor in it, and knowing this was their turning point. “But I’d give up the notion of children if it meant not being with you. All I’m asking is for you to give us a chance.”

  A torrent of shades of green reflected in Trinity’s eyes. Blaze could see the fear in them and wished she could find the words to make her see there wasn’t anything to be afraid of. Even if she was wrong, not knowing—not being sure—would be worse than not trying at all. At least for her.

  “Kids are a big leap from being single. Are you ready for the whole parenting thing?” Trinity bit her lip. “What happens if it goes south?”

  Always the optimist, she replied, “What if it goes north and just keeps climbing?”

  A small grin pulled at Trinity’s lips. “Are you always so self-assured?” She nibbled on the edge of her donut.

  “No. Not always. But when it comes to matters of the heart…” She shrugged again. “I prefer to think positively.”

  Trinity’s mouth dropped open for a moment before she snapped it shut. “Your heart?” she asked, her voice barely loud enough to be heard, but Blaze heard her.

  “That’s the only plausible explanation for thinking of you day and night.” She brushed a wayward curl from Trinity’s face. “I want to see you as often as possible. If you want to date for a while, I can do that, too. But there’s no question in my mind I want you beside me for as long as you’ll be there.”

  Trinity caught her hand, held it to her cheek, then closed her eyes and took a breath. “I’m scared. What if we fail?”

  “Relationships don’t fail. Sometimes people aren’t as compatible as they thought, or they have different goals in life, but that doesn’t mean it was a failure. It just means you haven’t found the right person.” The fact that Trinity seemed to consider her words was encouraging. At least she isn’t bolting like last time.

  “I don’t know if I want children. It’s a big responsibility.”

  “So is the job you have, and the people whose lives you’re in charge of. You face more than your share of responsibility there, but you’ve got a whole team to help you, so you don’t have to do it alone.”

  “We aren’t going to have a whole team to help us.”

  “Yes, we will. I’ll be your number one, and then there’s Kelly, and DJ, and my family. Your family, too, if you want them around. And I’ll bet between us, we have a lot of friends. We’d have a village.” Blaze swallowed hard. “There’s so much we could give our children.”

  Trinity groaned and rolled her eyes. “You keep saying children. If the time comes, can we settle on one? At least for a while?”

  She nodded her agreement. “Absolutely. We’ll start there.” She grinned.

  “If I say I want to give this whole relationship thing a try, we’ll need to go slow. Okay? And if we manage to not make each other too crazy as a couple, we can revisit the idea of a family.”

  Her excitement grew with each passing moment. The hum that had started running through her brain traveled to her toes. “Sure, sure.” She took Trinity’s hand and kissed her knuckles. “I think you’re amazing, and beautiful, and so many more things I don’t have words for right now. But are you sure you want to be with me?” She was putting her heart in Trinity’s hands, but she had to know.

  Trinity closed her eyes. “When I lie in bed, all I can see is you. Your expressive eyes let me know exactly what you’re f
eeling even when you don’t say the words. When I’m at work and struggling through my day, I can feel you touch my cheek and tell me how capable I am. When I’m in the shower, I feel your arms around me and think of the way you touch me, the way you make me feel beautiful and wanted in a way I never have.” She opened her eyes and smiled softly. “I’m haunted by your laugh, your smile, the strength of your hands, and the way you seem to live your life trusting the world without giving room to negative thoughts. I want more of you, and as terrifying as it is, I can’t imagine my days without you.”

  Blaze’s chest felt like it would explode, and she pulled Trinity to her for a slow, sweet kiss full of potential and promises. Reluctantly, Blaze let go without the dread Trinity wouldn’t be in her arms again.

  Trinity finished the last bite of her donut and licked her lips before using her tongue to clean her fingers. Erotic thoughts ran amok, and Trinity knew what she was thinking because her grin became a seductive smile as she leaned across the table. “So, when do we have our next date?”

  Oh my God. This is happening. “Now. Or tonight. You tell me.”

  Glancing down at her clothes, Trinity chuckled. “I’m not dressed for a date, so it will have to be later. How does six sound?”

  The feeling was like the first time she’d asked a girl out. Tingling sensations shot through her limbs as she anticipated what lay ahead. “Perfect.”

  After finishing off her milk, Trinity became somber. “There’s one more thing we need to discuss. Where does DJ fit into the equation?”

  Blaze knew this was coming and she’d been prepared for the inevitable. “We…DJ and I…had a serious conversation.” She took a steadying breath. “You were right. DJ confessed she’s in love with me.”

  “And?” Trinity looked troubled.

  “I told her she would always be in my life and always be my best friend, but that I never have and never will love her in any other way. I made my point very clear, and I can assure you there won’t be any future problems.” Blaze was confident DJ realized the fantasy of getting together would never happen, and she agreed Blaze needed to focus on building her relationship with Trinity, finally telling her how happy she was that Blaze had found someone to love. Blaze would miss her.

  “I’m sure you can imagine why I’m cautiously optimistic, but I’m glad you spoke with her.” Trinity wiped her mouth and stood. “I’ve got some things I need to do. How should I dress for tonight?”

  She would have liked to have said “Don’t wear anything at all,” but that was her libido talking again. Lucky for her she’d already thought about what they would do on a date, if the time ever came. This time her planning hadn’t been in vain. “Something you can comfortably couple dance in, but we won’t be going to the club.” Trinity’s eyebrows rose but Blaze wouldn’t tell her anything more.

  They walked to the house holding hands. The earlier tension had dissipated, replaced by anticipation. Blaze was ready for the next chapter. Ready to find out if her instincts and her heart were working in concert when it came to Trinity. How had she fallen so hard? How did she know Trinity was the one? Trinity leaned against her car and Blaze held her face in her hands, running her thumbs along her bottom lip.

  Then she kissed her. Gently. Tenderly. The soft lips under hers opened to her and she slowly pressed her tongue inside, savoring the flavor of her. When Trinity’s hands ran up her arms, gooseflesh pimpled her skin and she stifled the groan threatening to escape. She took a half step back.

  “I’ll pick you up at six.” The last thing she did was let go, knowing she never wanted to let go again.

  Chapter Forty-three

  Trinity sat at the end of Blaze’s driveway, her fingertips playing over her lips. Blaze had said her heart was involved but hadn’t said the word love, so she couldn’t be sure what that meant. She looked in the rearview mirror once more at the home Blaze had built before checking to be sure the main road was clear, smiling as she drove down the mountain. The thought of going on a “date” with Blaze, even though they’d slept together several times, seemed a bit out of order. She was okay with it.

  Blaze picking her up meant either she would drop Trinity home at the end of the night, or they’d head back to the mountain. I should pack an overnight bag. Trinity shook her head. That would be presumptuous on her part. She’d make do if that happened. She needed to stop assuming sleeping together was a given, although, since she agreed to give their relationship a go, it wasn’t off the table either, was it? They were going dancing, something she was comfortable with, though it sounded like there’d be no bump and grind involved. Oh, God. What if it’s ballroom again? Or the jitterbug? She wasn’t very good at traditional dances, though she managed to stumble through at weddings. If she didn’t stop fixating, she’d be a hot mess by the time Blaze arrived.

  She flew through the door to find Kelly at the table, open containers of leftover Chinese spread across the surface.

  “Hey. Where were you?” Kelly burped, then giggled. “Sorry.”

  Trinity snagged a fried dumpling before she headed to her bedroom, intent on finding the perfect outfit. “I went to see Blaze,” she called over her shoulder. She heard Kelly say something unintelligible. At the far end of her closet hung her meager selection of dresses. The gown she’d worn for the gala was too fancy for a date. Besides, Blaze had already seen her in it. She pulled out a royal blue crepe with accordion pleats, held it up against her, and looked in the mirror.

  Kelly sauntered in and plopped on the bed. “What are you doing?” she asked, watching her.

  “I have a date.” She returned the blue one and pulled out a red summer dress. It was way too light for the weather.

  “With Blaze?” Kelly perked up. Trinity nodded. “Back up and tell me what happened.”

  Once she’d recounted the morning’s events, she brought out the last of her choices. A simple black dress she wore to funerals, and a deep purple one, the cut of which made her feel frumpy—the last thing she wanted to feel tonight. She chewed her lip. “Great. Our first official date and I’m stuck wearing a funeral dress.” She collapsed on the bed next to Kelly.

  “Wait here,” Kelly said. She disappeared down the hall.

  Left with the feeling she needed to start paying more attention to her wardrobe, she shoved the closet door closed and tossed the dress over the armchair before throwing herself back on the bed to think about shoes. At least black went with everything, so she could manage a decent pair of heels. Kelly came back in carrying a garment bag and hung it on the hook of her closet door.

  “What’s that?”

  “Something I bought and never wore. It’s a little snug on me, but I think it will be perfect for you. Now close your eyes.”

  “Really? We’re not in high school, you know.”

  Kelly’s hands went to her hips. “Yes, really.”

  Trinity covered her eyes. She heard the zipper and then rustling of the bag before the room got quiet.

  “Okay. You can look.”

  She stared at the mid-calf, satin dress of the most beautiful shade of copper she’d ever seen. “Oh, Kelley, it’s beautiful.” She got up, needing to find out if the material was as luxurious as it looked. She wasn’t disappointed.

  “Try it on.”

  “I can’t wear your dress. The tags are still on it.” She let her hand fall away as she considered if it would work. Even though it was sleeveless, the fabric was weighty, and with her black pashmina and winter dress coat, she’d be fine.

  “Don’t be ridiculous. I obviously have no place to wear it. Besides, I know it will look much better on you than me.”

  Kelly’s breasts were larger than hers, and the dress’s halter top neckline with a deep plunge made her swallow her original excitement, but she had to try it on. “If you’re sure you don’t mind.” Kelly motioned for her to continue. She pulled off her clothes and slipped the dress over her head. It glided over her body with ease. She turned to the mirror and smiled. The bra she
was wearing would have to go. She was glad she’d bought a roll of wardrobe tape a while ago.

  “I don’t know.” The thought of going out in public braless, again, let alone with Blaze, made her heart beat a little faster.

  “Turn around. You need the full effect without a bra.”

  Trinity spun and Kelly unhooked her bra so she could pull it free. When she looked at her reflection she gasped. “I don’t know if I can go out like this. It’s even more revealing than the gown.” A hint of the outer edge of her breasts peeked out of the material, and for once she was glad she was small enough to pull off a daring outfit, but she still wasn’t sure if she wanted the whole world to see her side-boobs.

  “Don’t talk crazy. You look beautiful and sexy as hell,” Kelly said.

  “I’m afraid when I dance there’ll be a wardrobe malfunction. I’d die of embarrassment.” Kelly huffed then took her hand and led her to the living room.

  “Alexa, play slow dance music.” “Unchained Melody” began to play, and Kelly took the lead position. “I’m not as tall as Blaze, but we’ll manage.”

  After a few steps, she remembered the way Blaze had slow danced and adjusted Kelly’s hold to mirror Blaze’s. When the song ended, she felt more confident she’d manage to stay covered, but that was one slow dance. “What if we do ballroom? Or salsa?”

  “God, you’re frustrating.” Kelly smiled, letting her know she was poking fun.

  A half hour later and after they’d tried songs of every imaginable genre for partner dancing, Kelly handed her a bottle of water and laughed.

  “Are you convinced now?”

  She took a long drink as she worked on getting her breath back. The salsa had been fast, and they’d worked up a little sweat. “Yes, but just to be sure, I’m going to wear wardrobe tape.” She collapsed in a heap on the couch before remembering she was wearing tonight’s dress. Trinity popped up and went to her bedroom to hang it up, then pulled on clothes.

  “What are you going to do for the next two hours while you obsess over every detail for your date?” Kelly grinned.