Army Ranger with Benefits_the Men of At-Ease Ranch

by Donna Michaels

  Grabbing his boots off the floor, he relied on his training and conditioned himself to do the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life.

  Leave the woman he was falling in love with.

  “Goodbye, Emma. It’s been my pleasure…my honor…to know you,” he said, then let himself out.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Vince just walked out on her.

  He left her. Just like…

  Emma sucked in a breath. Not again. Not him. Not Vince.

  She couldn’t believe what just happened. It didn’t… It couldn’t have. She blinked and pinched herself, hoping to wake from this horrible nightmare.

  But it was real. She was awake. And he had left.

  At least he hadn’t said, “It’s been fun.”

  God, she couldn’t have handled that.

  As it was, she wasn’t handling things so well anyway. She swiped at her wet face and fought to keep the pain at bay.

  She’d always known he wasn’t staying. That was never in question. But she’d thought, she’d hoped, especially after the way he’d made love to her the night before, that he’d want to continue to see her.

  Apparently, it hadn’t—no, she hadn’t—meant enough for him to stick.

  That hurt. God…that hurt. So bad.

  Seriously, what was it about her that made it so easy for men to leave her behind? At that point, she couldn’t believe her streak would limit itself to military men—Vince wasn’t even active duty and had long-since returned to civilian life.

  Which left her. And whatever it was about her that drove men away.

  Her phone rang, again.

  Hope flickered through her tight chest, until she looked at the cell and saw it was Stephan again.

  Drawing in a shaky breath, she answered her phone while she still had the ability to function. “Hi, Stephan.”

  “Hi, Emma,” he said. “Sorry to call so early, but I couldn’t really do this at work.”

  She sank onto the edge of the bed only half hearing him. Her chest felt on the verge of caving in.

  “I know Vince is leaving at the end of the week, and I wanted to know if you’d go to the gala brunch with me this Saturday.”

  Opening her mouth, she tried to speak but nothing came out, so she cleared her throat and tried again. “Y-yes. I’d like that.”

  “You would? That’s great,” he said. “Maybe we can go outside for lunch and discuss it a little more today?”

  “I’d like that,” she repeated, numbness starting to fog her mind.

  After telling him she might be a little late that morning, she hung up and set the phone on her nightstand.

  There. She’d done it. Emma had gotten what she’d wanted for so long. And she even had three days to spare on her deadline.

  She should be thrilled. Overjoyed. After fifteen years, she was finally going out with Stephan Greenwald. Her dream man.

  Only he wasn’t her dream man anymore, was he?

  No. Her dream man just walked out.

  Left her.

  Didn’t stick.

  Unable to hold in the pain any longer, Emma crawled back in bed, curled up into a ball, and cried her heart out.

  …

  That afternoon, Vince stood by the sink, staring unseeingly out the window. All day he’d walked around with a crippling pressure on his chest. It hurt to think. Hurt to talk. Hurt to even breathe.

  “Sit down.” Dom’s voice drifted through his mind.

  When he turned around, his brother pulled two stools from the island and pointed at one.

  Vince shook his head and leaned back against the counter. “Too keyed up to sit.”

  “What’s going on?”

  Nothing good. He shrugged. “Stephan finally called Emma this morning.”

  His brother stiffened. “Damn. I’m sorry, man.”

  “Don’t be.” He shook his head. “She didn’t answer. But I told her she should.”

  Dom’s brows crashed together. “Why the fuck would you do that?”

  “Because she belongs here. You were right. I should’ve listened to you. Not sure what I was thinking. Wait…yeah, I do. I was only thinking about myself. Being selfish.” He inhaled, then exhaled slowly. “Well, not anymore. I told her goodbye, and that she should call Stephan back.”

  “And she actually called him back?”

  He shrugged. “Don’t know. I left.”

  “Ah, Jesus, Vince.” Dom threw his hands up. “That’s exactly what I was afraid of. You left her. Just like her last boyfriend. And the last few ones before that.”

  “No. It wasn’t like that,” he insisted, clenching his fists. “I didn’t leave her. She knew I wasn’t staying. And she didn’t ask me to, either. Didn’t tell me she didn’t care about Stephan. Didn’t tell me she cared about me.” He sucked in a breath and unclenched his fists. “So I did the right thing by bowing out. This way, she can hopefully work things out with Stephan. I want her to be happy. He was the one she wanted in the first place.”

  God, that hurt to admit.

  Pain intensified and spread from his chest to his gut right before Dom’s phone rang.

  Maybe it was Emma. Vince glanced at the microwave clock. Too early. She’d still be at work, and he couldn’t see her calling his brother while there.

  But he was certain she was going to look to Dom for answers.

  Surely she’d realize Vince never lied to her, not once. And he’d told her from the start he was leaving. Never made any promises. Never promised her a future…even though, in the end, he’d wanted one with her.

  Some of the tightness in his chest eased a little.

  “That’s great, man.” The excitement in his brother’s tone caught Vince’s attention. “When? Roger that. I’ll see you then.” Dom hung up and smiled at him. “The guys will have boots on the ground here at fifteen hundred tomorrow.”

  Vince straightened from the sink, the good news momentarily pushing back his pain. “All of them?”

  “Yes.” Dom grinned. “According to Jax, other than a few scrapes and bruises, they’re all good. Mission accomplished.”

  Vince grabbed two beers from the fridge, opened them, then handed one to Dom. “To their speedy return.” They clanked bottles and drank to his brother’s men.

  It was great to have something positive to occupy his mind. He was happy for his brother. Hell, already there was a change in Dom’s posture. Just knowing his brothers-in-arms were safe and on their way back no doubt went a long way to healing him on the inside. Vince was glad for his brother.

  He was also glad for another reason.

  And once again, it was selfish.

  The return of Dom’s buddies meant Vince could go back to Texas two days early. It would be a big help for Beth and Jovy for sure. And for himself. He wouldn’t have to see Emma, or possibly Emma with Stephan, if the guy started to come over to her house.

  “You going to book a flight home?” his astute brother asked, setting his bottle on the counter.

  Vince nodded. “For tomorrow night if I can get one.” He wanted to be here when the guys got back to make sure there weren’t any last-minute hiccups in transport. “But I’m not leaving until the guys are here. Think Jaxon will stay?”

  Dom grinned. “Hell, yeah. They’ll probably all stay, if I know them.”

  He nodded. “You’re right.” The mission would also have been tough on the guys, having to function while worried about Dom. They’d no doubt camp at the house until his brother kicked them out. “I’m going to go book that flight.”

  After finishing his beer, he headed upstairs. And after booking a flight to Dallas the following evening, Vince sent Leo a text telling him the arrival time. Yeah, that was chickenshit, but he wasn’t in the mood to talk just yet. There’d be time enough for that on the hour drive from the airport to the ranch.

  Yesterday, he kind of hoped maybe Leo would be picking up more than him from the airport. Not that he’d done anything to make sure that happened.

/>   Hell, maybe he hadn’t been as selfish as he thought. Because if he had, there’s no way he’d have let Emma go.

  Vince set his phone aside and began to pack.

  …

  The next afternoon, Emma pulled into her driveway as Vince began to back out of Dom’s crowded one. When he saw her, he stopped.

  Emma’s heart thudded hard for the first time in two days. She got out of her car, willing him to do the same. They needed to talk. She shouldn’t have let it go on this long. For a moment, it looked like he was reaching for the handle, but then he lifted his hand and waved.

  She stood there like an idiot, watching his car back out of the driveway and disappear down the road. After a minute passed, maybe more, she snapped out of it. The last thing she needed was to still be standing there when he got back from the store, or wherever he’d gone.

  With a shake of her head, she turned around and was walking to her house when a sudden ruckus from Dom’s backyard caught her attention. Glancing that way, she gasped at the sight of four burley men rushing out to greet her.

  Dom’s unit. The guys were back. All of them. Safe and sound. This time her chest tightened for a good reason, and she realized that was the reason Dom’s driveway was crowded.

  “Emma,” they chorused, taking turns hugging her.

  She hugged them back, a little harder than normal, because…darn it, she really needed the hugs. Fighting back tears, she sniffed, then shrieked as Jax, the embodiment of tall, dark, and dangerous, picked her up and carried her into Dom’s yard.

  Happy that her friends were home and safe, she stayed and talked with them a few minutes, trying not to panic too much as time went on. She didn’t want to be there when Vince got back. It was just too hard.

  She glanced at a silent Dom who regarded her with a knowing look in his eyes. God, that made her want to cry.

  “It’s a shame you didn’t get home a little sooner,” one of them said. “You could’ve met Dom’s brother before he left.”

  “Idiot, he was here for almost three weeks.” Jax shook his head. “Emma’s obviously met him already.”

  Wait…her mind stuttered to a halt. Vince left? As in back to Texas? She couldn’t bring herself to ask, so she let her gaze drift back to Dom. He must’ve read the question in her eyes because he nodded.

  Her chest squeezed so tight, she could barely breathe.

  Vince left without saying anything to her? With only a wave?

  That just about cracked the dam. She needed to leave. Now.

  Rising to her feet, Emma hoped it was a smile she brought to her face. “I’ll see you later. I want to go home and change.”

  They said stuff in response, but she didn’t really hear them. Didn’t hear anything except the sound of her heart shattering.

  She entered her house in a pain-filled daze.

  A wave? Had she meant that little to Vince?

  The sound of someone knocking on her door somehow filtered through her haze. She was tempted not to answer. God, she didn’t want to answer it. But if it was any one of those guys next door, they would eventually just walk in, stating concern trumped manners.

  Finding her voice, she called, “Come in.”

  Dom entered and quietly shut the door behind him. There weren’t any signs of judgment, or anger, or I-told-you-so in his gaze. Just warmth and concern.

  She needed both. Bad.

  So when he silently opened his arms, Emma didn’t hesitate to step close, hug him tight, and pray she wasn’t hurting him as she gave in to her tears.

  …

  Thursday morning, Vince glanced around his kitchen and nodded. It was good to be back. No one had bombarded him with questions. His friends had welcomed his return last night, especially Beth and Jovy. The women happily handed cooking back to him. Surprisingly, his kitchen hadn’t been too messed up. It’d only taken him ten minutes to get things back in order.

  Now he could start breakfast, and afterward, begin to cook and freeze entrées for the wedding. He glanced at the list pinned to the corkboard next to the industrial fridge. Should keep him busy until well past midnight.

  Good. He didn’t want time to think. To feel.

  The side door opened and Haley walked in, followed by Cord. The couple lived an hour away, and hadn’t been at the ranch when he’d gotten home.

  “Hey, Vince.” She came over and hugged him tight.

  Cord waited until his girlfriend moved to the side before holding out his hand. “Good to have you back.”

  He shook it. “Nice to be home.” He just wished he hadn’t come back alone.

  A shaft of pain slipped past his control and ricocheted through his chest, just as the rest of his friends entered through the swinging door that led to the dining room.

  Apprehension spread across his shoulders and down his spine like branches on a tree.

  “Cord, Haley, right on time.” Stone nodded before turning his attention to him. “Vince, we’re all glad to have you back, man. But we’re calling an intervention. On you.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Vince’s heart slammed into his ribs a second before he stepped toward the side door, intending to escape outside.

  Cord stood in front of it with his arms folded across his chest. When the hell had the guy moved there? He glanced at the swinging door that led to the dining room. Brick smiled from his post in front of it.

  Yeah, he wasn’t getting past him, either.

  “Fine,” he said, leaning against the counter. “But you’re wasting your time on me.”

  “You are not a waste of time, Vince,” Beth said.

  Leo stood across from him with his back against the island. “We can see you’re in pain. You’re quiet. Closed up. You and Emma were dating for real when I left. What happened?”

  He stared at his buddies and knew from the staunch set of their shoulders and determined gleam in their eyes, the only way to get back to cooking was to start talking.

  He shrugged. “Stephan happened.”

  Leo leaned forward. “He finally asked her out?”

  “Yes.” Dom had confirmed it when Vince called last night to let him know he’d arrived at the ranch. “But before that, Stephan opened my eyes to the fact I was being selfish.”

  The room erupted in protests.

  “Bullshit.”

  “No way.”

  “Not you.”

  He shook his head. “I was only thinking of myself when I got involved with her. We both knew I was going to leave upfront, but I should never have crossed that damn line with her in the first place.” He shoved a hand through his hair. “That’s all on me.”

  “No,” Jovy said. “It’s not. You weren’t the only one involved. The only one consenting.”

  Fierce emotion shined in his buddy’s eyes as he gazed at his bride-to-be. Oh, right. She’d moved to Joyful to be with Stone.

  The man in question shook himself out of his adoration long enough to eye Vince. “Did you at least try talking to Emma about continuing with some sort of relationship?”

  He blew out a breath. “No.”

  Leo frowned. “What? Why not? I got the impression you liked being with her.”

  “I did. I do.” He straightened from the counter and shook his head. “But if I did ask her to continue with a long-distance thing, it doesn’t change the fact I’m not leaving here. She’d have to come here, and there’s no way I’m putting that on her shoulders.”

  Beth sighed. “No, Vince. You are.” She walked over and placed her hand on his arm. “You had no right to take her choice away. Chances are, Emma would’ve been happy to eventually come here because this is where you are. Where you belong.”

  He shook his head at the woman who had also done exactly that for her fiancé, Brick. He was sensing a trend. And yet… “It’s not right to ask her to give up everything for me.”

  Jovy lifted a shoulder and slid her arm around Stone. “Still, it’s her choice.”

  Guilt and pain mixed to sink
like lead in his gut. “And if she came, and realized down the road it was a mistake? Or worse, blamed me for taking her away from everything she knew and loved?”

  No way could he live with that.

  “Maybe you are her everything,” Haley said quietly. “Or could be, given half the chance. But you didn’t give her that chance, did you?”

  “And what if she didn’t blame you?” Cord asked. “I think you need to ask yourself something, Vince, and be honest. Are you sure you’re not just running scared? I did it without realizing.” His buddy draped his arm around Haley and drew her near. “Luckily, I had good friends to help me see things clearly, and a good woman to forgive me.”

  Vince blinked. “Are you saying I deliberately walked away from Emma because I’m falling for her?”

  Cord raised a brow. “Did you?”

  Leo folded his arms across his chest. “And are you?”

  Christ, he could barely breathe again.

  “Loving someone makes you vulnerable,” Cord continued. “And open for pain if they leave. Or die.” He looked at Haley, a sad smile on his lips.

  Vince stared down at the floor and contemplated what they were saying. He’d loved Connie and losing her had ripped everything out of him. He swore he’d never let anyone get that close again. Except someone did.

  Emma.

  Old hurts and new ones instantly collided, wrapping around Vince’s chest like a thick, steel chain.

  “Bowing out was probably the most selfish thing you could’ve done,” Stone said. “It kept your heart safe. Guarded. So it couldn’t get too invested and possibly go through the pain of loss again. Because loss happens to everyone. You know that better than most.”

  Feeling like he’d been sucker punched in the gut, Vince sank back against the counter again, slowly shaking his head. The thought of losing Emma like he had Connie knocked him on his ass.

  God, is that what he’d done? Got scared because Emma got too close?

  Had he hidden behind the noble deed to step aside so she could be happy all to safeguard his heart? To eliminate the risk of ever having to go through the pain and grief of losing someone he loved again?

  Ah, hell…he left her before she could leave him.