Every Promise You Made

by J. E. Parker

  Hopefully, anyway, I mentally replied.

  “Told you I would make shit right between us,” he replied, his voice soft. “I meant it, Hope. Don’t care what I’ve got to do, I’ll do it.” Before I could say a word, he continued, “I know I’ve hurt you and I’m tired of it. You deserve nothing but good things from me, and I won’t stop until I give you everything you need, everything you want”—he licked his lower lip—”and everything you deserve.”

  My heart melted.

  I opened my mouth to say something but snapped it shut when the door to the laundry room was once again pushed open. My gaze bounced to the right where it landed on none other than Maddie.

  “Excuse me,” she said, her voice sweet. “But it’s time to go.” Hooking her finger, she pointed over her shoulder. “Seriously, if you’re not outside in the next minute Grandmama has threatened to come after you with a flyswatter.” Her eyes danced with amusement. “So we need to go. Like, right now.”

  Evan looked down at me as he chuckled. Pressing one last kiss to my forehead, he nodded toward the door. “Go,” he said, dropping his hands from my hips where they’d been resting. “The last thing we need is for that crazy old woman to come back here and start smacking people.”

  I unwound my arms from his neck and walked to stand by Maddie’s side. Looking over my shoulder one last time, I raised my hand and blew Evan a kiss. “Love you, Evan. More than all the stars in the sky, big guy.”

  He raised his arm in the air and pointed at the bracelet I’d given him three years ago. “You and me, little bit.” Smiling, his eyes filled with light. “Forever, baby.”

  My heart swelled so much it nearly burst.

  Twenty-Three

  Evan

  I silently stared at the woman sitting across from me.

  Wearing jeans and a pink t-shirt, she looked more like a mom on the way to her kid’s soccer game than a psychologist. Stupid as it sounds, her appearance, along with the laid-back décor of her office, made me feel at ease. And at ease was something I never thought I’d be while sitting in the middle of a therapy session.

  The woman, Beth, smiled as she tucked her legs beneath her. “Would you like something to drink?” She hooked her thumb and pointed over her shoulder. “I’ve got bottled water and a bunch of different canned sodas.” Her smile grew and I couldn’t help but notice that she reminded me of Maddie. “I’m a sugar junkie, so I’ve also got bags of candy if that’s more your speed.”

  I shook my head. “Nah,” I replied. “I’m good.”

  Nodding, she interlaced her fingers together and looked me right in the eyes. “So tell me about you, Evan. I’ve already spoken to your brother, who is a massive flirt by the way.”

  You have no idea, lady.

  “But he didn't divulge a lot. Just enough to give me a better understanding of what you may need my help with. If you don’t mind, I'd like to hear you tell me your story.”

  A humorless chuckle spilled from my lips. “Not sure you want to hear my story. It’s not for the faint of the heart.”

  She pinched her lips into a thin line. Still, her face remained soft. “I do. If I don’t know what makes you tick, I can’t help you fix yourself.”

  Not fixing myself isn’t an option.

  “Alright,” I said, clearing my throat. “Where do I start?”

  “Start from the beginning. We’ve got plenty of time.”

  Nodding, I leaned back on the sofa where I sat and ran my sweaty palms down my jean-clad thighs. “I grew up in Memphis where I lived with my parents and my dumbass twin brother who you’ve already spoken too. We had a dog named Buster, and two cats named Willow and Felicity. I had a good childhood.”

  There, cliff notes version,I thought.

  “I played football all through high school and was offered a full ride scholarship to Virginia Tech my senior year but I didn’t take it. Instead, I joined the Marines with my best friend, Ryker. We’d been planning that shit since we were kids.” I laughed at the memory. “Anyway, we signed up for the buddy system and stayed together through boot camp and OSI. Then, we ended up stationed together.”

  “Tell me about Ryker,” Beth said. “You say he was your best friend. What drew you to him?”

  “We were just alike.” A smile broke out across my face. “We met in Kindergarten.The little dipshit—” I snapped my mouth shut, biting my tongue. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

  Beth waved a dismissive hand in the air. “It’s fine. I curse like a sailor at times.”

  Sounds like Shelby.

  I chuckled at the thought.

  “The first day of school I was so scared. I’d never been separated from my brother, and I wasn’t good at handling new situations. When my Madre dropped me off, I almost pissed myself I was so terrified. I was about to chase after her when this man, followed by two kids, a boy, and a girl about my age, walked into the room. The boy was wearing a Power Rangers shirt and had on grass-stained jeans. He looked like his hair hadn’t been brushed in a month, and he had this huge bruise on the side of his arm.” I smiled at the memory. “I knew right then that he would become my best friend.”

  And he did.

  Beth laughed. “Ryker sounds a lot like my son. I swear the boy would rather jump off the Empire State Building than comb his hair.” That was Ry exactly. “Did you two play together after that?”

  “Yeah,” I said, leaning forward and placing my elbows on my knees. “We were just drawn together, like two magnets.” One side of my mouth quirked up. “A lot of kids, even best friends, fight. Ry and I never did though. Not once.”

  Beth nodded, taking in every word I was saying. “You said Ryker’s dad walked into the classroom with two kids. Who was the second?”

  “Hope,” I replied, my voice quiet. “Her name is Hope.”

  “Is she Ryker’s sister?”

  “Yeah.” Unable to sit any longer, I stood and walked over to the picture window across the room. “She was his little sister.”

  “Were you and her friends?”

  I almost laughed at her question. “As kids? Yeah. But as we got older stuff changed.”

  “What kind of stuff?”

  I blew out a breath and raked my hands through my hair. “The kind of stuff where she went from being my best friend’s little sister to being the first, and only, girl I’d ever loved.”

  The room fell silent.

  Then, Beth asked the magic question. “Do you still love her?”

  My reply was quick. “More than anything in this fucking world.” I turned. “She’s the entire reason I’m here.” Before she could ask what I meant, I continued. “I haven’t…” My voice trailed off as I choked up. “Over the last couple of years, I haven’t treated her so well.”

  That’s putting it lightly.

  “I haven’t been the best guy, but I want to change that.” I rocked back on my heels and slid my hands into my pockets. “I want to get better… for her."

  Beth studied me. “Why haven’t you treated her well?”

  Time for the truth, asshole.

  “Because when I look at her, all I see is him.” Just like Hope had said. “And the guilt eats me alive.”

  “Tell me why.” Beth paused and waited for me to reply. When I didn’t, she said, “I’ve seen the file that the VA sent over. I’ve also heard what Brantley had to say about it.” I could only imagine what that stupid file said. “Ryker was killed in action, Evan. That is the nature of war. It’s a risk that any—”

  A sentence and a half was all it took for me to lose it.

  “He shouldn’t have fucking died!” I screamed, feeling like my head would explode. “He wasn’t supposed to! If I hadn’t messed up, If I hadn’t lost my head—like I’m doing right now—then he’d still be here!” Fisting my hands, I fought the urge to slam my hand into the nearest wall. “If I hadn’t screwed up, he’d be alive, and I wouldn’t have to look at Hope and see—”

  “Look at Hope and see what?” Bet
h prodded, standing from the chair where she sat.

  I spun around, looking back out the window. “I wouldn’t have to look at her and see how much I’d broken her…” The words tasted like acid on my tongue. “… how much I destroyed her.”

  Muscles weak from the agony cutting through me like shrapnel, I leaned my head against the glass pane. “Do you have any idea what kind of hell that is? Knowing you’re responsible for scarring the person you love more than anything else?”

  Before Beth could respond, I kept speaking, letting every toxic thought that filled my head spill out. “I treat her like shit.” The realization made me want to punch myself in the face. Repeatedly. “I don’t want to, but every time I feel her getting too close, I push her away. It hurts her; it breaks her heart.” I dropped my head forward; shame washed through me. “But I can’t stop. I try…”

  I’m such a piece of shit.

  “… I try so damn hard, but I fail every single time.” Another pause. “I can’t keep doing this to her. If I do, I'll lose her.” Determination set in along with the need to fight, to overcome. I turned my head and looked over my shoulder. Beth’s gaze crashed into mine. “And that can’t happen.”

  Beth moved closer. “A life without Hope, tell me what that would look like.”

  I didn’t want to think about it. Still, I answered. “Emptiness.”

  One word. One truth.

  “Hope is everything. Beauty, love, compassion, happiness.” I looked down at the leather bracelet that adorned my wrist and raked my gaze over the metal infinity symbol. “She’s my forever.”

  “So you’re prepared to fight for yourself? For her? For your combined futures?”

  I didn’t hesitate in answering. “Yes.”

  Beth smiled. “Good.” Turning on her heel, she walked back over to her chair and sat down. Gesturing at the sofa across from her she said, “Have a seat, Evan.” Her smile grew. “I think it’s time we set to work.”

  Without saying a word, I crossed the room and sat down.

  My eyes met hers. “Let’s do it, doc.”

  Twenty-Four

  Hope

  Eden’s Treasure Trove was the name of the sex shop Maddie had driven us to. Dark and filled with purple strobe lights, the place looked exactly how I’d imagine a sex store too. I loved it though. It was so different from the shops I usually frequented that I couldn’t help but get excited.

  Oh how I wish Evan were here, I thought as I stood standing in front of a rack of oversized rubber dildos, giggling to myself like an immature little kid. I could surely embarrass him half to death if he were.

  Clara, who stood to my right pointed at the largest dildo, which resembled a penis-shaped baseball bat. “People don’t use these, do they? I mean, if they did that would just…” Her mouth opened and closed as she floundered for something to say. “… That would hurt. Like, a lot.” Picking it up, she weighed it in her hands. “I think this one is bigger than the one Shelby found for Maddie’s bachelorette party. And look at it, it’s all veiny and stuff.” Wide-eyed, she looked over at me. “It looks like something out of a horror movie.”

  I almost choked.

  Carissa, who stood to my right, looked seconds away from passing out. She wore a confused look on her pretty face as she pointed at a rack on the far wall. “I didn’t even know they made glass dildos.”

  Clara followed the trajectory of her gaze before bursting into a fit of laughter. “Those aren’t dildos, C,” she whispered. “They’re butt plugs.”

  “Butt plugs?” Grandmama said from behind me, surprising all three of us. “Sounds like some sort of medieval torture device if you ask me.”

  I spun around. “I thought you were staying in the car?” There was just something wrong about seeing Grandmama standing next to a rack of enormous fake penises. “What if one of the ladies from church sees you? You’ll be kicked out of the senior prayer group.”

  Grandmama waved her hand at me in a dismissive gesture. “To heck with them.” She picked up a dildo from the rack and inspected it like one would a piece of fresh produce. She even thumped it like it was a cantaloupe.

  For God’s sake!

  A sly smile spread across her face. Nudging me with her elbow, she looked from me to Carissa to Clara. “Watch this.”

  She chuckled to herself as she turned to face Shelby, who was standing by Maddie along the far wall. Too busy looking at adult-themed party supplies neither of them was paying us a bit of attention.

  “Hey, Blondie,” Grandmama hollered, causing Shelby to turn around. “Catch!” Pulling her arm back, she launched the dildo into the air where it spun as it flew toward Shelby at high speed.

  Shelby, too stunned to react, just stood there.

  Just as she raised her arms to ward off the blow, the rubber monster slammed into the side of her face, making an obscene smacking sound before falling to the floor where it bounced a couple of times before settling on the carpet.

  The room fell silent, but it didn’t last long.

  Half a second later, everyone—except Shelby—burst into a fit of laughter.

  Madder than a hornet in a coke can, she bent over at the waist and picked the toy up. Using the dildo to point at Grandmama, she said, “That is the second time you’ve thrown a giant dick at me.” Her gorgeous blue eyes narrowed. “But it will be the last”—she took a step forward—“I hope you can run fast, Old Biddy because I’m about to give you a taste of your own dang medicine.”

  Grandmama looked toward the door, a sly smile on her face. “They don’t call me Dashin’ Doris for nothing!”

  Before I could blink, Grandmama grabbed the skirt of her dress and hiked it up over her knees. Straightening her spine, she took off for the door. Stunned, I blinked as I watched a seventy-something-year-old woman, wearing a fresh application of fuchsia lipstick and a giant sunhat, run through the middle of a sex shop, a boisterous bout of laughter spilling from her lips.

  Now I’ve seen it all.

  Not one to be outdone, Shelby gave chase. Still holding the dildo in the air, she hollered, “Better run faster than that you Old Coot because when I catch you, I swear I’m going to whack you so hard you’ll need a new set of false teeth.”

  When they burst through the door and disappeared down the sidewalk, the store clerk—a woman in her mid-twenties with purple dreadlocks and more piercings than I could count—chased after them. “You have to pay for that!” She shouted, a flustered look on her face.

  “Don’t worry,” I called out, “I’ll pay for it.”

  She stopped running and blew out a breath. “People are crazy these days!”

  I laughed as I pulled my wallet out of my purse and made my way to the register. “Those two sure are.” Standing on my tiptoes, I glanced out the window, looking for them. I didn’t see either of them. “But they keep stuff entertaining, so I’m not complaining.”

  And that was the truth.

  Without those two, life would have been much more boring.

  At the register, Maddie saddled up next to me, a look of embarrassment plastered across her face. “I swear to God I should have them both committed.” Staring out the window, sh shook her head. “I mean, what in the hell is wrong with those two?” Her eyes met mine. “I sure as heck hope it’s not genetic. If so, I’m worried about my sweet baby. Both her Grandmama and Aunt are nuts.”

  “I doubt mental health would take either of them, babydoll.” Maddie’s eyes widened. “They’d probably say they’re both lost causes. As for Melody, she’ll be fine. She has me to keep her sane.”

  Maddie smirked before looking down at the empty checkout counter. “Where’s your stuff?”

  My face heated; embarrassment set in. “I didn’t get anything.”

  Grabbing me by the upper arm, she looked at the out of breath clerk and smiled. “We’ll be right back, honey. Just need to grab a few more things.” The clerk nodded as Maddie dragged me toward the back of the store. She looked at a red-faced Carissa before gr
abbing her arm too. “You’re coming too.”

  Maddie released both Carissa and me ten steps later. Waving her arms around like a lunatic, she pointed from one rack to the next. "Pick something. "She looked at me and arched a brow. "Or else I'll do it for you."

  Uh, no.

  I looked around for a few seconds before my eyes landed on a rack of lingerie, something I didn't own. At twenty-five, the closest thing I owned to sexy clothing was a single pair of sheer thongs. It was ridiculous, but I'd had no reason to buy lingerie. Not when I had no one to wear it for.

  But now, maybe I do.

  I bit my lower lip and picked up a silk negligee that had a slit up the center. It was pink, which I loved, but I wasn't sure if I had the assets to fill it out.

  And by assets I mean boobs.

  Maddie must've seen the indecision written across my face because she said, "That would look amazing on you. You've got the figure for it, and the pink would look perfect against your skin."

  "It would," Carissa added. "I think you should buy it." Her eyes twinkled. "I'm sure Evan would like it."

  Maddie chuckled. "There's no doubt about that."

  Smiling, Carissa walked to the other side of the rack and sorted through the various garments. Brows furrowed, she asked, "What color would work best for me?"

  Maddie, along with me, froze. "Depends. Do you want to look pretty or do you want to seduce?"

  Carissa blushed. "I don't know." Visibly swallowing, she continued. "I'd like to have some pretty stuff... just in case."

  My lip twitched. "Oooh Carissa, do you have a crush on somebody?" I couldn’t resist picking on her. "A certain brooding fireman for instance?"

  "I—" The words died on her tongue when the bell above the door jingled, signaling someone's arrival. "Oh my God!" She whispered, ducking down to avoid being seen. "This cannot be happening."

  Turning, I looked to see who had just walked in.

  When my eyes locked on the two men standing by the door, my mouth hit the floor. "Maddie," I asked, my voice hoarse. "What is your husband," I paused, "along with Kyle doing here?"