To Love a Lord: A Victorian Romance Collection

by Crosby, Tanya Anne

  “I was thinking...” She blinked as she stared longingly at his mouth. “... that I love...”

  You, she wanted to finish.

  His hand reached out suddenly, touching her face, startling her, and she swallowed her words.

  Jack held his breath, waiting for her to speak.

  “Yes,” he prompted when she didn’t continue.

  She blinked, and he could tell she was struggling. “That I love... how you know these things.”

  Disappointment slithered through him.

  He caressed her chin with his thumb. “I love ... your curiosity, Sophia.”

  Her eyes seemed to reveal an inner battle. Jack waited, hoping she would speak those three words he so longed to hear from her.

  “And… I really, really love...” she began again, her brows twitching a bit with what seemed to be confusion. “I love …”

  “What is it you love?” he asked her, his heart hammering fiercely.

  She swallowed visibly. “That you are so willing to share your knowledge with me!”

  His thumb touched her lower lip, rested there, and she blinked. “And I really ... really love your beautiful smile, Sophia.” Her lip trembled just a bit, and he teased it, willing her with his eyes to speak those three little words. He encouraged her, telling her also, “And I love the sound of your voice... and the way you laugh…” He leaned close to her, his nostrils flaring. “And the way you smell.” He took a deep breath, craving the taste of her.

  Sophie closed her eyes and lifted her face into a ray of sun, and Jack sat there staring at her, mesmerized, his heart swelling with joy at simply being in her presence.

  Never in his life had he felt so at peace with someone, so connected... so alive.

  He bent to kiss her, finally, touching his lips tentatively to hers. His hand moved down to her throat, and he felt her swallow once more. But she didn’t stop him, and he deepened the kiss, wanting nothing more than to crawl into her body, to be at one with her.

  He wanted all of her, body and soul.

  He wanted her mind, wanted her heart.

  Torn between his desire to show her that her body was not all he wanted of her, that he respected her and loved her spirit and her mind as well, and wanting to make love to her again and again, to take her for his own, he hesitated, and drew away.

  “Sophie,” he began.

  There was so much he wanted to say, but he didn’t know where to begin. He didn’t want her to go back to Harlan, didn’t want to lose her, but he wanted her to do whatever made her happy. If in fact Harlan did that for her—made her happy—then he wanted that for her, too, even if it would kill him to see them together. But he hoped she didn’t love the jackass still. He really couldn’t bear to see them together... to know that he would touch her... kiss her... make love to her...

  The thought of it made his gut turn.

  The words caught in his throat.

  She stared up at him, her golden eyes wide, looking far too vulnerable. “Yes, Jack?”

  Jack swallowed his words, unsure how to voice them. He’d never spoken those three words to anyone in his entire life, not a soul. He’d never felt for anyone the way he did for Sophia.

  If there was just one thing he’d learned from his studies—a lesson to be carried into his own life—it was that nothing lasted forever. Nothing. His studies and excavations were proof enough of that fact; societies came and went. He hadn’t ever intended to put his heart at risk for something so fleeting as love. But he didn’t care any longer...

  Sophie was worth it … and suddenly it was clear to him that the only thing that lasted, long after the flesh decayed … was love.

  He wanted Sophie at his side always, to share his journey through life.

  But who was he to ask her to give up her own life on a whim... to follow him blindly? What did he really have to offer a woman of her station?

  His brows knit as he struggled with his thoughts.

  What was the right thing to do?

  Did she love Harlan Penn?

  She desired Jack, that was true enough, but desire and love were two different things.

  In the end, it came down to just one thing: She had to follow her heart. He couldn’t put words into her mouth, or feelings into her heart.

  He sighed heavily and looking down into her beautiful face, he smiled and caressed her cheek with the back of his hand.

  “You wouldn’t happen to have any eggs ’n’ peppers left?” he asked.

  “Eggs and peppers?” She blinked up at him. “You’re still hungry?”

  If she only knew. “Starved,” he confessed.

  Her brows knit. “What about the meal Maria brought you ... didn’t you eat?” She pulled his hand away from her face, and averted her gaze. “You really don’t have to eat my breakfast just to make me feel good, you know! I’m well-aware that it was awful!”

  Jack laughed suddenly. “Are you kidding? I’d rather eat pure poison than eat what Maria brought me!”

  Sophie gave him an annoyed look. “You’re just saying that!” she accused him.

  He gave her a sheepish glance. “Uh, no!”

  “Truly?” She tilted him a curious look. “What did she bring you?”

  Jack shook his head, disgusted all over again merely by the thought. He grimaced and said, “Chocolate-covered roaches!”

  Her eyes went wide and her hand flew to her mouth. “Oh, my!”

  “Swear to God!” he told her, still grimacing as his hand went protectively to his belly.

  She shrieked with laughter.

  Deeply offended by her lack of concern for his delicate stomach, Jack was forced to tickle her. He tickled her until their limbs were tangled and her cheeks were aching with her laughter, until one of her boots flew off and across the pool, and landed in the water with a hearty splash.

  “Oops,” he said, and stopped suddenly, looking into her eyes. “There went your shoe,” he said.

  Sophie grinned up at him. “I guess you’ll just have to go down and get it, won’t you?”

  He grinned back, poking at her chest. “If I go, you go,” he said.

  Sophie held her breath as his finger slid down between her breasts, teasing her.

  “Says who?” she asked a little breathlessly.

  His gaze followed his finger. “I’m bigger than you are,” he reminded her.

  That much was true.

  “But I could scream,” Sophie assured him.

  His gaze met hers and he arched a brow in challenge. “Who would come? We’ve wandered too far for anyone to hear us.”

  Sophie shrugged. “Hechicera.”

  His smile was wicked. “Then let her,” he said, flaunting danger. “I could think of worse things than to be stranded here forever with you.” He kissed her then, a sweet, gentle kiss that made Sophie’s heart swell with love.

  A knot formed in her throat. She wanted to make love to him. She wanted to give him her body once more. She wanted him to know how she felt through her touch.

  Without a word, Sophie boldly unbuttoned her shirt, reveling in the way he watched her.

  “Are you sure?” he whispered against her cheek, kissing her softly.

  Sophie lifted her face to him, kissing his lips. “Quite sure,” she murmured, and he joined her, undressing her eagerly, hunger burning in his eyes.

  His hands explored her body with such sweet tenderness that Sophie wanted to weep with joy.

  She closed her eyes.

  More than anything she wanted to tell him how she felt, but was afraid to open her heart completely... afraid he wouldn’t love her back... afraid to speak the words aloud... afraid to be a fool… again.

  With Harlan she had given everything and had thought she’d received his love in return. She had been wrong, and was afraid to be wrong again. Harlan had never once spoken those words to her.

  Three simple words were all she needed to hear... but she needed Jack to say them first. But though they didn’t come easily to her l
ips, they filled her heart.

  There were no doubts any longer... she loved Jack with all her soul. Jack was everything she’d ever wanted in a man... and more...

  And Harlan was simply a lesson learned... a bad memory, growing more distant with every kiss from Jack’s tender lips.

  She made love to him then, daring Hechicera with every cry from her lips.

  Greedy for every precious moment Jack would give her, she held nothing back.

  Except three cherished little words.

  Chapter 30

  Sophie rejoiced in the afterglow of their lovemaking.

  She’d never felt closer to anyone in her life. More than anything, she wished they could stay in this jungle paradise, just the two of them, forever. The thought of returning to Boston had never been more distasteful.

  Jack lay beneath her, shielding her bare body from the bracken of the forest floor. His eyes were closed, and his arms were around her, his fingers lightly stroking her back.

  Her cheeks warmed with the memory of her own boldness, but she had reveled in the moment. She now knew exactly what Harlan had meant when he’d spoken of being ridden. Jack had straddled her over his exquisite body, begging her to ride him. And she had, without shame. All the while, he had murmured endearments to her, encouraging her, making her feel like his goddess.

  She felt a little like that still, with her Adonis lying satiated beneath her, his body warm and comforting.

  “I suppose we should get dressed,” she said, though reluctantly. “Someone may finally miss us and come searching.”

  “No one will come,” Jack assured, his eyes still closed. Sunlight broke through the canopy above them, warming her back, falling across his face. In his hair, she spied the first signs of silver. It sparkled in the sunlight, and she ran her fingers through it, enjoying the feel of his hair in her hands—thick and soft. And he had a tiny little mole beneath his lower lip. She touched it reverently.

  “They might,” she argued. “How can you be sure they won’t?”

  He shook his head and smiled softly and said, “Because you’re with me.”

  Sophie lifted a brow. “Oh my,” she said, and knew it was true. She would have preferred not to be so obvious, but they weren’t fooling anyone, she realized. She doubted anyone but Jack had missed her love-sick glances.

  Sighing contentedly, she laid her head down, cuddling against Jack’s bare chest. It was smooth and soft, the feel of it delicious against her cheek. His hand tangled in her hair, finding something... a leaf perhaps ... and he plucked it out, and began leisurely to search for more. Sophie didn’t care if she wore the entire forest floor in her hair. She felt beautiful in Jack’s eyes. He had told her so until she dared to believe it.

  He lifted his head suddenly, and Sophie did, too.

  He was grinning at her. “I think we should both go after your boot,” he told her, and shook a brow suggestively.

  Sophie laughed. “No doubt we could use a bath,” she agreed.

  He gently slapped her naked rear, and Sophie yelped in surprise. “Up!” he said, caressing where he’d slapped her. “Before I’m tempted again. If I am, we’ll never leave, and then they’ll definitely come looking and I’ll have to kill any man who sees you like this.”

  Sophie laughed again, oddly exhilarated by his possessiveness. She rose. So did he, and he grinned at her before jumping into the pool. Sophie moved to the edge, laughing at his boyish antics as he came up shaking his head and sputtering.

  He dove under once more and came up with Shorty’s boot. “Look what I found!”

  Sophie smiled regretfully. “I do hope Shorty won’t mind terribly.”

  He tossed the boot up at her. “Shorty’s damned lucky not to be in them right now,” he said. “I’d have to kill him.” He gave her a look that told her that while his mood was light, his words held a measure of truth. She tried to catch the boot but it landed behind her.

  She sat there at the pool’s edge. “Because of the ring?” she asked.

  “Because of the ring...” He gave her a pointed look Sophie didn’t entirely understand. They hadn’t as yet discussed the ring, or Shorty, or Harlan for that matter, and the realization surprised her. “And because of where he got it.”

  Sophie bit her lip as she considered the ring. She couldn’t conceive that Harlan would part with it. And it was far too generous a gift to be used even as payment for services—though whatever services Shorty might have provided for Harlan, Sophie couldn’t imagine. “He must have stolen it,” she deduced aloud.

  “Maybe,” Jack said, and nothing more. “Come on down,” he commanded her, dismissing the topic. “The water’s great.” But his mood had sobered, and Sophie wanted to know why.

  Then again she wanted answers to many questions, and Harlan could certainly provide some of those. She couldn’t wait to move on with her life. The sooner she confronted him, the better.

  “When do you think we’ll reach Harlan’s camp?” she asked Jack as she climbed down into the pool. “Soon I hope!”

  The water was indeed wonderfully warm, and she sighed contentedly.

  He stiffened suddenly, his brow furrowing, as though the question angered him somehow. He didn’t answer. He washed his face vigorously, ignoring the question, as though he hadn’t heard her, and then he climbed up out of the pool.

  “Jack,” she called after him, her heart skipping a beat.

  He didn’t answer.

  “Jack, what is it? What’s wrong?”

  He was angry with her suddenly, and she suspected she knew why but everything would be revealed to him soon.

  “You’d better hurry,” he said curtly as he dressed without looking at her. “It’s getting late, and we’d best be on our way.”

  With every step they took toward their destination, Jack’s mood grew more sour.

  He couldn’t believe Sophie could make love to him with so much feeling and then turn around and ask how long before they reached Harlan’s camp.

  She was somewhere behind him, talking to Kell, but he couldn’t bring himself even to look at her. Anger clouded his brain.

  Stubborn, beautiful, infuriating woman!

  Maria gabbed incessantly at his side, but Jack didn’t hear a word she said to him. Her father had brought her along, refusing to leave her alone. But Jack thought it was a little too late to worry about her virtue. Her mother had died giving birth to the youngest of her sons when Maria had been just a girl. As a result, Maria had grown up wild, free to do mischief while her father was away. But her wildness was her greatest appeal. She was full of life and passionate, beautiful even. This minute, however, her voice grated in his ears.

  Because she wasn’t Sophie.

  Damn it. He couldn’t imagine just handing Sophie over to Harlan and then turning around and walking away.

  By God, he wasn’t going to do it.

  He needed Sophie. Life lacked any meaning without her—everything did, including his studies. What would it matter what he discovered, what he learned, if he couldn’t see her eyes light up just to hear him tell of it? He felt sick listening to Maria’s chatter, imagining a procession of meaningless encounters with women he never cared to see again.

  “Sophie!” he heard one of his men call out to her and his heart squeezed hard.

  Who dared to taunt him with her name?

  He spun to see who had called her, and found Pete waving enthusiastically at her. He barked orders to the boy, commanding Pete to Jose’s side. He didn’t know what the hell for, so he ordered him to carry Jose’s backpack. The youth gave him a confused look, but did as he was told.

  Sophie shot him a narrow-eyed glance, and he turned around, ignoring her, angry at her for wanting Penn.

  If they kept going at this pace, they’d reach their destination sometime before nightfall.

  Damn it all to hell.

  Like a spoiled kid, he wanted to plant his feet and toss down his backpack and refuse to take another step toward Penn’s camp. />
  “What is wrong with him!” Sophie exclaimed to Kell and shook her head.

  Kell shrugged in answer, but hid a little smile. “You really don’t know?”

  Sophie smiled back, and admitted, “Actually, I think I do. He’s been cranky like that ever since this morning.”

  She hiked her backpack a little higher. One boot was still wet and had begun to squeak and her toes were beginning to feel spongy and raw. She’d attempted to dry the socks she’d stuffed into the toe of the boot, but they hadn’t had much time, and she’d ended up putting them back in still wet. It was either that or fling the boots off at every step as they were far too big.

  Jack had rushed them out of camp, and had kept a grueling pace the entire day. They were moving so fast through the forest and she’d been slapped in the face by so many limbs that she began to wonder whether she had leaf prints all over her face.

  “What happened this morning?” Kell asked, obviously curious, but trying to sound casual.

  Sophie shrugged, but blushed. “I asked when we’d be arriving at Harlan’s camp and he stopped talking to me. Hasn’t said a word to me since.”

  Kell grinned. “He’ll be fine as soon as we get to Harlan’s camp.”

  And yet, Sophie wasn’t entirely looking forward to Jack’s understanding. The coming confrontation with Harlan left her feeling mostly renewed... stronger... except when she thought of the simple fact that everyone else would know the truth after—that Harlan hadn’t cared one whit about her. It made her feel in many ways a failure, though she knew it was absurd.

  And why should it matter anyway? The instant she had discovered his perfidy, she had turned him away in her heart, only to realize he’d never really been there to begin with.

  Jack was.

  With every step they took, she grew more anxious to have the ordeal behind her.

  “Nervous?” Kell asked.

  Sophie gave him a sheepish look, nodding. “A little, but it’s the right thing to do,” she assured Kell.

  Kell nodded at her and winked. “I’d have to agree. And I’m really proud of you for standing tall and going through with this.”

  It wasn’t easy. And the thought of it left her stomach in knots.