What Hurts the Most 2

by Tynessa

  I knew Quintez wouldn’t rape me or no shit like that, but I didn’t know if I would be able to be in the same room with him, breathing the same air as him, and not want to love all on him. Quintez was very tempting, and I knew for a fact that I wasn’t going to have no self-control while in his presence.

  “I know and that’s what I’m afraid of, Asia. Bad enough I cheated on Kacey while he was in prison, I be damn if I going to do the shit while he’s out. He already questioning me about Quintez,” I said as I sighed. “Man, I hope Jay haven’t been running his damn mouth.”

  Asia waved me off when I said that.

  “Girl, I doubt it. Jay’vion is dumb, but he ain’t that damn dumb. Now if you were fucking some random ass nigga then yeah, he probably would. But I don’t think he would tell on his brother.” Asia had a good point, but I didn’t put shit past anyone. I needed to talk to Quintez to see if Jay was aware of all the other times we had sex, or was he only familiar with that one time.

  Chapter 8

  Moving On!

  Quintez

  I didn’t know why my brother wanted this nigga back on the team. If it wasn’t for Tang, then I wouldn’t have agreed to this shit. I thought how she could use the extra cash, and that’s the only reason I’m putting money back into that nigga’s pocket. Kace should be thanking her right now.

  Nobody was really paying attention to Jay’vion as he ran his mouth about irrelevant shit. Hell, he was irrelevant around here at the trap. I just wanted the nigga to think he still had pull around here, so I sat back watching. Plus I have never been much of a talker. I don’t have time for all the bullshit ass meetings, unless it was necessary.

  I felt that nigga Kace’s eyes burning a hole through my body. Now any other time, I would go in a fuck nigga’s shit for staring at me as if I was a bitch or something. But in his case, I smirked as I shot his girl a text asking to meet up. It took her a minute to text back, but she did.

  Tang: Where?

  I smiled. To be honest, I didn’t think she would agree to it. When she saw me at the club that night, her ass acted as if she didn’t know yo’ boy. Nigga had her so scared she wouldn’t even look my damn way.

  Me: My house. Yours. It doesn’t matter.

  I already knew she wasn’t going to have me in her apartment, but I threw it out there because it really didn’t matter where we met up at. I just wanted to see her. Even if it was going to be only for a brief minute.

  Tang: Now you know you can’t come to my spot Quintez, so let’s not play games. And I really don’t know how we’re going to make this happen with Kacey being in my ass 24/7.

  Me: Don’t worry. Meet me at my crib in 15 mins.

  When Tang texted me back letting me know she would meet me, I excused myself from the meeting.

  “Yo, Jay, let me holla at you for a minute,” I said to my brother. Everyone was looking, trying to see what was going on, but we walked outside. He seemed to have so much to talk about, so I wanted him to keep Kacey ass occupied as long as he could.

  “What’s up?” Jay asked. We were on speaking terms, but I don’t think our relationship will never get back to the way it was. I loved my brother with all my heart, but I felt he was on some shady shit. I couldn’t point the shadiness out, but I knew it was there. I can spot a snake from afar, and I never thought I would ever feel that my brother was one.

  “I’m about to make a run right quick, so call me before y’all leave here. Not after but before.” I didn’t want to go into details, so I just left it at that. He let me know that they would be leaving soon, but he would call and let me know. I nodded my head and dapped him up before leaving.

  When I got to my house, Tang’s ol’ sexy ass was already there waiting for me. I got out my car and walked around to her driver side door and opened it for her. Wasting no time, I pulled her into my arms. Damn, I loved this damn girl.

  “What’s up with you?” I asked as I leaned down and tried to kiss her lips, but she pulled back. I don’t know why she was playing games. “Damn, it’s like that? Nigga get out and you wanna act funny?” I said as we began walking up the walkway to the front door.

  “I’m not acting funny. I’m here, ain’t I?”

  “Yeah okay. A nigga can’t even have a peck on the lips,” I complained.

  “Man, you called me over here for all this? You said you wanted to talk, so what’s up?” she asked with an attitude that I paid no mind.

  “Shid, I miss you,” I said, getting straight to the point. “I missed chilling with you. Since your lame ass boyfriend done got out, we can’t chill no more?”

  “Quintez, you knew what it was from the start. Yeah, we fucked around and let our feelings get involved, but you know that wasn’t supposed to happen. I had no intentions of leaving Kacey. But now that I’ve grown feelings for you, it makes things more complicated.” She ran her hands down her face and sighed. “God, this wasn’t supposed to happen.”

  I kind of felt sorry for her. But shit, my feelings were involved too. She doesn’t think I’m fucked up behind this? I expressed my feelings to her, only to have them to be shitted on. Yeah yeah, she announced on more than one occasion that she wasn’t leaving Kace, but she also let it be known that she was in love with me. So, what the fuck was she holding on to with him?

  “Shawty, you don’t think I’m fucked up behind this bullshit as well? Fuck! All yo’ ass is worried about is Kace and how long y’all been together. So fuck how Tez is feeling, right? Fuck my heart, huh?” I was getting pissed.

  “Quintez, it’s not like that,” she whispered.

  “Well, what is it like, Tangela? I sure as hell would like to know, because all I’m understanding is you can’t leave him because y’all been together for a long ass time. Fuck is y’all still holding on to? All those damn years you keep throwing in my damn face?”

  “Because I fucking love him! That’s what we’re holding on to, okay. Yes, I am in love with you, but with Kacey it where my heart is. With him, I already know what I have. I know Kacey will never cheat on me or break my heart. Why would I leave a man like him for someone that I know for a fact has many bitches? Quintez, you’re Jay’vion’s little brother, so I know how you roll.”

  I looked at her ass like she was crazy. Okay, yeah I did cheat on Bree a few times when we was together, but I’m nowhere near anything like my brother; and for her to put me in the same category as him was fucked up. If I wasn’t pissed before, I was damn sure pissed now. To the extreme! And just because I cheated on Bree doesn’t mean I’ll treat her like shit too.

  I stood up with my hands in the air as I backed away from where she sat on my couch. “Damn lil mama. So, you label me as a dog because of the shit my brother and your homegirl goes through?! That’s some fucked up shit to say.”

  “I’m not trying to offend you or anything, but I saw the shit with my own eyes. You’re with Bree one day, the Spanish chick the next, then me after that. Let’s face the fact, you and Jay both are womanizers.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh at her ass, though she was pissing me off. I didn’t give a fuck what I did; I ain’t shit like my brother! I loved his ass, but we’re cut from different cloth.

  I shook my head as I licked my lips before speaking. “You know you’re one fucked up individual, right?” I asked her. She looked at me confusedly but didn’t say anything, so I continued. “You say you saw all that shit, but you continued to fuck with me. What does that label you? You knew all that shit before we started fucking around and you still opened your legs to me—while you were in a relationship with another man. But you don’t see me labeling you.”

  Yeah, I was trying to make her feel just as bad as she made me feel. Talking ‘bout I was like Jay’vion. I didn’t even give her a chance to respond before walking off. “And lock my shit up when you leave,” I yelled over my shoulder as I walked out the front door. Bitch had me fucked up. I was done chasing her ass. Since her heart is with that nigga, fuck it. I had no other choice but to move
on.

  Chapter 9

  Nobody’s Perfect!

  Jay’vion

  My brother thought he was slick. He thought I didn’t know why he wanted me to call before we left the trap house. Nigga didn’t want to risk the chance of him getting caught with Tan. He lucky he’s my brother, because if he were one of these random ass niggas out here, I would put my boy Kace up on game. I swear these bitches ain’t shit! They are so quick to bash a nigga, but go out and do the same shit as us. Cheating is cheating; I don’t give a fuck what gender is doing it.

  I sent Tez a text, letting him know that we was about to leave, and that Kace would be hanging with me and Lo today. Kace was my nigga, but at the end of the day, Tez was my brother, and if he needed a few extra minutes with his bitch, then so be it.

  “Damn, I forgot to call Tan to let her know she didn’t have to come back to get me,” announced Kace. I just shook my head. Boy, if only you knew.

  “Man that damn girl ain’t thinking about you. She’s probably happy to get away from yo’ ass. You been up in her ass since you got home.” Lo laughed and so did I. I was glad somebody said something. I mean nobody brought their main bitch to hang around the fellas but this nigga. And this shit just started since he got out. Before Kace went to prison, there was no way he would allow Tan to hang around a bunch of niggas the way he had been lately. Maybe he was already up on game with her and Tez.

  “Fuck you bruh,” Kace responded back. “Yo, where you at? You ain’t gotta come get me, I’ll have Jay to bring me home in a minute,” he spoke into the phone. Me and Lo talked amongst ourselves as Kace talked to his lady.

  “So you and Tez squashed everything?” Lo asked me. I’d told him about the little confrontation my brother and me had, and Tez threatening me.

  Though it might not have been serious to some, to me it was everything. Tez and me had never bumped heads like that before. Shit, to be honest, I wasn’t even over the fact that the nigga had threatened me. Talking about some, next time I steal his shit, he won’t be so nice about it. I swear, that guy had me fucked up. When my shit became his was what I was still trying to figure out.

  “Yea we’re good, but I’m still considering starting my own territory. I know it might cause beef during the process, but oh well.” I hunched my shoulder. I hate for it to come to that, but the nigga was trying to take over my shit, so I had no other choice but to start my own team.

  “So you’re really willing to beef with your brother?” Lo asked me. There was a sparkle in his eyes, and his voice was filled with nothing but excitement–that had me looking at him sideways.

  “I ain’t got no other choice. Shit, I ain’t about to stand in the background when I was the one that started this empire when you and him was just jack boys—breaking in mothafuckas shit.”

  Lo nodded his head up and down in agreement because he knew I wasn’t lying. He and Tez was breaking in mothafuckas cars and robbing niggas, and if it weren’t for me, they would still be selling nickel and dime bags of weeds. When I put them on to push big weights, that’s when they calmed down. They were still jack boys, but not as much. I already knew it was going to be easy to convince Kace to join my team, so I ain’t even worried about that, and I knew without a doubt that Lo would have my back. Nigga was already excited and had me ready to say fuck it. This nigga seemed to be on some snake type shit. I already knew he wasn’t a loyal friend but since he never betrayed me, I never said shit about his disloyalty.

  The three of us rode around like old times, just kicking shit. Though I was smiling and shit, I was still fucked up from the other night at the club. Asia cheesing all in the next nigga’s face was something I never anticipated. I never thought there would be a day she would pull some shit like that.

  “Aight, I’ll get up with y’all niggas later. Aye Lo, you dropping Breezy off at his house?” I asked as Lo was getting out my ride. I had other things to do than play chauffeur all damn day.

  “Yea, I got him since I’m headed that way.” We dapped one another up and I pulled off.

  Getting my phone out the cup holder, I pressed the number two on the touch screen and watched as a photo of Asia popped up, indicating that my call was being connected. I held my breath, hoping she wouldn’t forward my call to the voicemail like she had been doing.

  “Yes, Jay’vion,” she answered. I smiled. I really did miss my baby.

  “What’s good boo? What are you up to?” I asked her. She took a deep breath before releasing it slowly. I could just picture her rolling her eyes.

  “Nothing Jay’vion.”

  “Damn, why you so short with me? I’m just trying to have a friendly conversation with you, that’s all.” I know I’m the cause of her heartbreak but damn, I was hoping we could at least be civilized. She act like we ain’t gon’ eventually get back together.

  “You asked what I was doing and I said nothing. What more did you want me to say?” she asked sarcastically. I knew her lil ass was trying to be smart, but I wasn’t about to go there with her. I was high as fuck on that Kush and in a good spirit.

  “So, why you never invited me over to check out your new place? It seems like everybody gets an invite but me.”

  “Nobody have been over here but Tan, and you have no reason to come over here, Jay. Please don’t start, because I already see where this conversation is headed.”

  I smiled as I shook my head. I had plenty of shit over there, and her monkey ass one.

  “Can I come over there so we can talk? Or you come over to my crib?” I asked, but she didn’t respond back. “Asia, I just wanna talk. I think I owe you an apology.”

  “You think?” She was being sarcastic again, but I paid it no mind and continued talking.

  “I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend but got-dammit, baby, give me a break; nobody’s perfect. You know I love you, despite my faults. Shit everybody can see the shit but you. What more do I have to do to prove my love to you?” Man, Asia had a nigga willing to do anything. I just wanted—no, I needed her to come back home to me. If I had to, I would get on my knees and beg, butt ass naked.

  “You love me, Jay’vion?” I heard her chuckle. “You call all the shit you’ve put me through, love? That’s not love! And I never said I wanted you to be perfect. I know no relationship is perfect, and if I thought that, then I would’ve never taken you back the first, second, and third time you cheated on me. All I ever wanted was for you to be faithful and honest to me. I never asked for much, Jay. Gosh. Was that so hard?” she explained.

  “I was honest with you, Asia.” I half-lied.

  “When Jay’vion? When you got caught up and had no other choice?”

  It don’t matter, shit, I ended up telling the truth. Whether it was when she asked or after she found out. She got the truth. I just didn’t understand women. They always wanted a nigga to be honest and give them the truth, but in reality, they can’t handle the truth.

  “I’m willing to lay everything on the line. Right here, right now. Whatever you wanna know, ask and I will give it to you truthfully. No bullshit. I’m done with the games Asia, baby. I’m done with the hos, and I’m ready to fully commit myself to you. I wanna be the man you’ve been trying to mold me to be since we got together. All I need is for you to talk to me. Just tell me what you want.” I wasn’t lying to Asia or spitting a bunch of B.S. to her just for her to come back home to me. I was really willing to stop the cheating. I couldn’t go on without her. There’s no telling where I’ll end up being without Asia in my life. It was her that kept me sane.

  “I’m tired of telling you what I want, Jay. I was doing that for years. I have come to realize you will never change or commit yourself to anyone. I was never trying to mold you to be anyone. I fell in love with you, just as you were, but I didn’t know it came with the cheating. I loved everything about you, I just can’t handle the cheating, Jay.”

  “But I’m done with that, baby,” I plead. “I just need one more chance to prove my love for you.” />
  There was silence. I thought maybe she was giving it some thought, but that wasn’t the case. When she finally spoke, it was like my heart had broken in a million and one pieces.

  “Well, it’s too late for that, Jay’vion. I’m at a great place in my life, and I’m not trying to lose myself under your spell once again. I’m sorry, but I can’t do it.” With that, Asia hung up right in my face.

  I placed the phone in the cup holder as I was pulling up in my driveway. Damn, I couldn’t believe I had possibly lost her forever. I wasn’t giving up though. I was going to try everything in my power to get Asia back. There’s no way in hell I was backing away for the next nigga to step in and take my place. Fuck that!

  Looking down at the small bag that I was holding in my hand, I debated if I wanted to snort the powder that was in it. I copped it from the trap house that the meeting was held at when Tez had left. I was really trying to leave this shit alone, but Asia was making it hard. She was stressing a nigga the fuck out to the point that I thought I needed it to keep my sanity.

  Chapter 10

  Too Good To Be True!

  Kacey

  I ain’t no stupid ass nigga, and Tan ain’t about to keep trying to insult my intelligence, either. I’m trying so hard to trust her ass and believe that nothing went on with her and that nigga Tez, but the fact that the negro was in her crib the day I was released wasn’t at all sitting well with me. I mean, I ain’t—well wasn’t—no jealous ass dude. It’s just when I went to the slammer, I was afraid that I was going to lose the best thing that had ever stepped into my life. So I became distrustful and started accusing her of sleeping around.

  I knew I shouldn’t have even expected Tan to sit and wait for me to complete a five year sentence, but that was my boo and I didn’t even want to imagine her being with another man. Nigga had to have hella game to even make Tan give their ass a second look anyways. I’m not trying to put her on a pedestal, but she isn’t one of these simple, basic ass hos. Tan wouldn’t just fuck with a guy because he might have a few bucks in his pockets, a nice ride, fat crib or the things he could do for her. She wasn’t materialistic, and that’s what I loved about her so much. She could be down to her last dollar and would give me fifty cents of it.