Rekindled Romance

by Lorraine Beatty

  He hated to deny his daughter a party, but she didn’t understand. He looked at Cassidy’s disappointed expression and felt himself weakening. “I don’t know, kiddo.”

  Cassidy pounced on the crack in his defenses. “I know. I’ll bet Miss Shelby would do it.”

  “Do what?”

  “Chaperone.” She smiled gleefully. “We were going to do the makeup thing anyway. I know she’d do it. She’s here all the time now anyhow.”

  He was all too aware of that fact. “What makeup thing?”

  Cassidy waved off his question. “It’s girl stuff, Dad. You wouldn’t get it.”

  “Why don’t we wait until your Gramma gets back from Dallas and she can come stay with us that night.”

  Cassidy assumed her drooping noodle position. Shoulders sagging, head leaned back, knees bent. It was a pitiful sight. He waited for the whine that always followed.

  “No. She won’t be back until Sunday. I want someone cool like Shelby to do it.”

  “Cassidy.”

  She straightened and tried again. “Please? Can I at least ask her?”

  Matt inhaled deeply. “Let me think about it.”

  It was later that night before Matt could consider how to handle Cassidy’s request. He didn’t want to refuse his daughter yet again, but asking Shelby to take on such a huge responsibility went beyond the duties they’d agreed to. Besides, this Friday was his day off. He couldn’t ask her to work overtime. He was sure she would welcome the break. He thought about his daughter’s excitement. He had to at least try. Didn’t he?

  He picked up the phone and dialed, a smile coming unbidden to his lips when she answered. “Can you meet me outside for a second? I need to talk to you.” He hung up, not exactly sure why he’d turned a phone call into a face-to-face other than he wanted to see her again.

  She came toward him across the driveway, her hair shimmering in the light from the streetlamps. She smiled into his eyes, and he forgot to breathe.

  “Hey. What’s going on? It sounded serious.”

  The sight of her jumbled his thinking and he had to regroup. “Did Cassidy say anything to you about a party this week?”

  “You mean her slumber party? Yes. She’s really excited.”

  Matt exhaled a huff of irritation. Apparently his daughter was trying to pull an end run on him. “I haven’t given my permission yet.”

  “Oh. I didn’t know. She acted as if it was all settled.”

  Her calm response confirmed his daughter’s scheme. “That’s what I was afraid of.”

  “What’s this about?”

  Matt rubbed his forehead. “She’s been after me for some time to have a slumber party and I keep making excuses. I don’t know how to explain to her that a single dad having a bunch of little girls overnight…”

  “Oh. I see your problem.”

  “I don’t know what to say to her, and I can’t keep making up excuses. Lately when I tell her no she flies into a fit of tears for no reason or turns into a drama queen. She never used to do that. It’s like she’s an alien creature.”

  Shelby laughed lightly. “Girls aren’t that much of a mystery, Matt. We want to be loved. We want to be taken seriously and respected. We want the men in our lives to listen to us but not always fix everything. But mostly, we want to be cherished and protected.”

  Matt looked into Shelby’s warm brown eyes. Cherished and protected. That’s all he’d ever wanted to do for Shelby. But he couldn’t protect her from a heart attack and that scared him. He sighed and shook his head. “You make it sound so simple.”

  “It is. So, are you going to let her have the slumber party?”

  “If Mom or Laura were here, maybe. But as it is…”

  “What if I acted as chaperone?”

  “That was her idea, too.” His eyes narrowed. “You sure you didn’t cook this up together?”

  “Scout’s honor. But I certainly wouldn’t mind. Now, before you say no, let me explain my idea. You and Kenny could hang around until nine or so then go to your mom’s for the night. I’ll stay with the girls. In the morning, you can come back and bring breakfast.”

  Her offer should have surprised him, but it didn’t. He was all too aware of how much she cared for his son and daughter. It was part of his ongoing emotional struggle. He liked seeing her with his children. Too much. “I guess that would work. But are you sure you want to spend all night with a bunch of screaming preteen girls?”

  Shelby chuckled softly. “I think I can manage Cassidy and a few of her friends. No more than six though.”

  He couldn’t believe he was considering her suggestion. No matter how he looked at her idea, he couldn’t find any fault in it. It would satisfy Cassidy’s desire to have a party and keep him out of the picture when necessary. “I don’t know. I really miss Katie at times like this.”

  Silence filled the space between them. He realized he’d said that last out loud.

  “Matt, I’d be more than happy to chaperone her party if it’s all right with you.”

  “Okay then. I’ll let her know. And thanks, Shelby. You seem to be there whenever I need you.”

  A small smirk moved one corner of her lips. “That’s me. Miss Dependable.”

  Matt watched her walk back inside her house, not missing the little dig she’d sent his way. He’d said she wasn’t dependable, but she’d been there for him every time he had needed her. The one time she hadn’t been wasn’t her fault completely.

  Slowly he turned and walked to the house. A few weeks ago he would never have allowed Shelby to get so close to his kids. Now she was playing mom, chaperoning a slumber party and weaving herself deeper and deeper into their lives.

  The old fear in his gut was still there. Not that she’d suddenly run away, but what would happen when she eventually returned to New York? Sooner or later she would. He’d reminded the kids frequently that Shelby would be leaving at some point. So much so that they had started rolling their eyes in disgust. They’d cleared up the past, but it had only increased his longing for companionship. He was becoming more and more aware of the empty places in his heart and his life. Places he was beginning to think only Shelby could fill. But was he willing to risk everything on a woman who was ill?

  *

  Shelby pulled the large envelope from her Gramma’s mailbox. The latest issue of Tween Scene. Her heart contracted when she remembered that this might be the last issue published. Taking a seat on the swing, she idly flipped through the pages, an uneasiness swelling in her mind. The images she used to consider hip and edgy now struck her as a bit exploitive. She kept comparing each too-thin model to Cassidy.

  Her gaze drifted across the driveway to Matt’s house. All her experience with preteens had been with models, pop stars and child actors. She’d never dealt with a real, normal young girl before. Someone like Cassidy. She thought about the online magazine she’d considered. It wouldn’t be hard to do. She had the skills and the experience. Her mind began to fill with ideas. It might be fun. It would be wonderful to have control of the content and not have to compromise her convictions for the sake of sales.

  Shelby hurried into the house, grabbed a pen and paper and a piece of fruit and went back to the front porch. Oh, how she missed her laptop. The first chance she got she would buy a new one. She was still scribbling ideas when the bus pulled up and Kenny bounded off. She watched with joy as he raced up the driveway toward her, all thoughts of the new magazine vanishing. What she wouldn’t give to experience this feeling every day for the rest of her life.

  “I won!” Kenny shouted, grabbing hold of Shelby’s arm.

  “What did you win?” Shelby asked, smiling. The little boy was bubbling over with excitement.

  “I won the drawing contest at school.” He dug into his backpack.

  “That’s wonderful. Congratulations.”

  “My picture of the woods was better than anybody else’s. See what I won? This big thing of drawing paper and special drawing pens and a case a
nd some colored pencils.”

  Shelby relieved him of the cumbersome assortment of prizes. “I’m so proud of you. Your daddy will be so happy.” Kenny smiled and readily accepted the hug she offered. The feel of his sweet little body in her arms brought a lump to her throat.

  “They’re going to hang my picture in the front hall at school so everyone can see it.”

  “That’s wonderful, Kenny. We’ll all come and see it.”

  “Can we work on our scrapbook?” Kenny asked, stuffing his prizes back into his backpack.

  “I think we’d better wait for Cassidy, don’t you? She should be home as soon as her club meeting is over. Molly’s mom is bringing her home.”

  “Okay,” he agreed reluctantly.

  “Why don’t we have a quick snack and then take a walk on the trails? By the time we get back she should be almost home and we can work on the scrapbook.”

  “But she’ll have homework to do.”

  “Well, maybe she won’t have very much today.” She took his hand and walked across the drive to his house.

  The scrapbooking project Cassidy and Kenny had started was progressing nicely. They worked on it each day. Shelby’s heart had been touched multiple times by the memories they shared. The fact that the scrapbook was a surprise gift for Matt only added to their joy. They’d collected a large variety of pictures, trinkets and other memorabilia to include in the book.

  They worked diligently each afternoon, talking about happy times with their mother and sometimes shedding a few tears. Since they were determined to keep it a secret from Matt, watching the clock had become Shelby’s main responsibility. Everything had to be put away and hidden before he came home. One day he’d come home early and nearly caught them. They’d been extra cautious from then on.

  Every day she questioned her wisdom in agreeing to watch Matt’s children. She was much too comfortable in his home, and she cared too deeply for his children. Her time with them was like experiencing a tantalizing dream beyond her reach. No matter how hard she tried, or prayed, it would never come true.

  Their relationship had vastly improved since their talk at the picnic. Things were more relaxed and comfortable. Much of their old camaraderie had returned. They talked or texted frequently during the day, mostly about the kids or Ty’s ongoing recovery. But sometimes Matt would call for no apparent reason. A few times he’d called to ask her a question or remind her about an appointment one of the children had.

  Lately, he’d been calling even more. And when he got home, he had been asking for more and more details about the children’s day. She had the impression he wanted someone to talk to, and she was more than happy to oblige, even though it was a bittersweet experience. She didn’t want to be his sounding board for a few weeks; she wanted to be in his life forever.

  She had to constantly remind herself that rekindling an old friendship wasn’t the same as rekindling an old love. But Lord forgive her, she counted the moments until she heard his voice.

  *

  Matt pulled into his driveway, coming to a stop near the back door. The lights were on in the house, but he was pretty sure Shelby would be asleep. He had to call upon her generosity as babysitter once again. He’d agreed to fill in for his mother at an important campaign event this evening in her absence. Not his cup of tea, but with her still in Dallas with Ty, he was happy to step in.

  He climbed out of the car, glancing again at the faint light in the window. He liked knowing there was someone waiting for him. That Shelby was waiting for him.

  Somewhere along the way he’d started looking forward to talking to her and hearing her voice. He looked forward to coming home each night and finding her there, helping Cassidy with supper or playing a game with Kenny. The sight of her and his children as he came through the door filled him with a happiness he’d long forgotten. His kids were happy. They adored Shelby. He was grateful to her for that. There was huge comfort in knowing someone else loved them as much as he did. And Shelby did love the kids. It was obvious.

  How did she feel about him?

  The attraction between them was still there, rekindled no doubt by the closeness required by her babysitting duties. Shelby was a beautiful woman. With her big brown eyes and her deceptively delicate appearance, any normal male would be drawn to her. He was more vulnerable than most, that’s all. And, while he no longer feared Shelby would break his children’s hearts, he wasn’t ready to risk his own.

  Matt entered through the back door as quietly as possible. It was after midnight. He’d been cornered with questions about his brother as well as his mother’s position on several local issues, but he hadn’t expected to be this late. He wouldn’t blame her if she was upset. She’d agreed to babysit for a few hours each day, not around the clock. The big house was silent. Too silent.

  Frowning he walked through the hall into the living room. The television screen was blue and silent. The small lights on the DVD player and the home theater equipment were on. Odd. Why hadn’t Shelby turned it off? And where was she?

  He shut off the electronics, then turned around. He froze. Shelby was sound asleep on the sofa, the afghan pulled up near her chin. He opened his mouth to call her name but stopped, captivated by the appealing picture she made. Her dark hair was mussed. Featherlight tendrils fell in wisps across her cheek. One hand lay against her face; bright pink nail polish contrasted against the dark tresses.

  His heart ached. They’d had so many dreams, so many plans. But too many things had conspired against them back then. Shelby looked so peaceful. So beautiful. He leaned over, his fingers brushing soft curls from her cheek.

  She moaned.

  Matt straightened and quickly left the room. In the kitchen he rested his hands against the counter, battling the emotions that were swirled deep inside. Everything he’d ever wanted, every dream he’d had, was lying asleep on his sofa. The first woman he’d ever loved was only a few feet away. And years removed.

  Guilt pierced his conscience. Katie had been all he’d ever hoped for. He’d loved her with his whole heart, but she was so different from Shelby that he wondered if he’d deliberately looked for someone as opposite as he could find. Someone who could never remind him of the woman he’d lost.

  Seeing her tonight, so vulnerable, made him realize what a slippery slope he was on. He was falling in love with her again, and he couldn’t afford to. They could never pick up where they left off. It was too late and there was too much at stake. But he didn’t want to be alone anymore.

  Katie was still in his heart, but her memory now left a sweetness behind, not the knife-edge of grief it once was. Maybe it was time to move on.

  Right now he had to send Shelby home. Fantasizing was a waste of time. He started back into the living room, stubbing his toe against the Bombay chest.

  “Matt? Is that you?”

  The sleepy voice sent his blood tingling. He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Yeah. It’s me.”

  Shelby sat up and smiled. Matt’s heart jumped into his throat. She was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. All he wanted at this moment was to take her into his arms and kiss her the way he’d longed to under the oak tree at the picnic.

  “How did it go?” She squinted at him from behind drowsy eyelids.

  “Good. Sorry I’m so late.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” She shook her head. “We had a nice evening. I dug out an old movie and made some popcorn. It’s been very relaxing.”

  She smiled, a silly, sleepy grin, and every bone in his body turned to liquid. “Good. That’s good.”

  “Well. I’d better go.” She stood and started to fold the afghan. “The kids’ homework is on the table ready for you to sign. I checked it over. There’s a permission slip for Kenny’s field trip and a notice about tryouts for chorus for Cassidy. Oh, and you might want to remind your mom that next Tuesday is Grandparents’ Day at the school.”

  She laid the afghan across the back of the couch, then turned and faced him. “Some
thing wrong?”

  He knew he could never adequately answer that question. Yes. Everything was wrong. He was in falling in love with her, and he was afraid it was too late to stop it.

  “No. Just tired.”

  “Then I’d better get out of here so you can get some rest. Oh, and remember, tomorrow is the big slumber party.”

  “Right.” He nodded, following her to the door, keeping a safe distance. If he got too close, if he felt the warmth of her, smelled the sweet scent of her, he might do something he’d regret. He reached for the doorknob. Shelby abruptly turned, bringing her up against his chest. His face was only inches from her. He stared at her lips.

  “Oh, I’m so sorry. I, uh, forgot my cell phone.”

  Matt looked down into her brown eyes and forgot to breathe. The warmth of her beneath his hands, her fragrance, set his heart pounding. He’d known if he ever got this close he’d be unable to resist taking her into his arms.

  The air in the room stilled, awareness arced between them. His brain told him to let go. Step away. Put some space between them before he gave into his desire to kiss her. He gripped her shoulders and set her away from him. Quickly, he turned and retrieved her cell from the end table. When he stood in front of her again, she was staring at the floor, fidgeting.

  She looked up and smiled, reaching for the phone, her fingers wrapping around his own. He saw her lips part. Slowly he released the phone, only to find his hands grasping her shoulders again and pulling her closer.

  He knew he should stop, but the attraction between them was a force bigger than he could resist. His hand lightly cupped her cheek. She sighed, resting her head against his palm. Her movement was his undoing. He slid his hand along her neck, pulling her toward him. He couldn’t take his eyes off her mouth. He lowered his head, heart pounding in anticipation.

  He inhaled her breath, then carefully touched his lips to hers. Her mouth was warm, pliant. He remembered the sweet taste of her and the perfect way she fit against him. She clung to him, returning his kiss. He was sinking in the wonder of her, drowning. He had to surface or be lost forever.