Angel Baby

by Leslie Kelly

  He’d never intended to kiss her, she was certain. Surely his tender ministrations had never been intended to lead to intimacy. It was just...with his hands on her skin, and his body so close to hers that she could see each individual hair on his forearm, she had been unable to avoid looking at him with all the liquid desire she felt for the man. How could he not have responded to such a blatant invitation?

  “Idiot,” she muttered as she punched the pillow.

  Even as she cursed herself for her stupidity, Claudia paused to remember the feel of Chase Paxton’s mouth on hers. His kiss had been exquisite. The intimacy of kissing was more delicious than she’d remembered, and Claudia suddenly realized just how much she’d missed it. Touching and stroking were wonderful, too, but there was just something so deliciously erotic about a deep, sensuous kiss.

  Glancing at the clock, Claudia saw it was after two, and knew there was no chance of falling asleep anytime soon. Quietly leaving her bed, she grabbed a silk robe and made her way across the hall to Sarah’s room.

  Sarah lay on her side, with her arms cradling her head and her knees drawn up. Claudia gently stroked her back, and brushed a few fine curls from her forehead. The baby sighed and mumbled in her sleep, and Claudia smiled gently as she watched her for several long moments. Watching Sarah sleep gave her such pleasure. In the soft glow of the night light, she could easily make out the few freckles already sprinkling on that pert nose, and understood what people meant when they compared lips to rosebuds, because Sarah’s little mouth was as perfect as any bloom.

  She spent many evenings this way, staring in wonder at the little person she’d helped create. Not for the first time, she wished someone was here with her, wrapping his arms around her waist as she leaned back against his strong chest, while they quietly contemplated the miracle sleeping in the crib. Only now, on this night, she allowed herself to imagine that it was Chase’s arms that held her, his lips that brushed against her hair as he whispered how beautiful Sarah was.

  “Stop it,” she whispered aloud in the darkness, nearly cursing herself for imagining something that would never happen. No matter how attracted she was to Chase, or to any other man, for that matter, none would ever be put in a position of trying to play father to her child. Her own childhood was one long unhappy memory and there was no way on earth Claudia would ever allow Sarah to repeat it. She’d rather raise her daughter alone than risk any man making her child feel unloved and unwanted...a nuisance reminder of another man.

  It would never happen.

  Chase flicked the ash from the barely-smoked cigarette onto the gravel of his driveway and glanced up at the star-lit sky. For some reason, the smoke wasn’t having the calming effect he’d hoped it would. Of course, since he hadn’t touched a cigarette in a couple of years, the brief coughing fit could have had something to do with it. But, the shot of tequila he’d had earlier in the evening hadn’t done a thing to relax him, either.

  “Dammit,” he cursed aloud as he paced the driveway in the middle of the night.

  He couldn’t stop thinking about Claudia. Ever since he’d held her this afternoon, had finally kissed that sensuous mouth, he’d been able to think of nothing else.

  He wanted her. Hours later, he still throbbed with wanting her. But there was no way in hell he could have her. He’d remembered that about two seconds after putting his lips on hers...as if he had ever really forgotten.

  Claudia Warren was the most vulnerable person he’d ever known. The bright sheen in her eyes and the slight shake in her hand whenever her husband was mentioned made it perfectly clear that she still mourned him deeply. The woman had a young baby to worry about. The last thing she’d be looking for was a brief affair. But a brief affair was about all he'd ever been interested in offering any woman. He didn’t see that changing anytime soon. He wasn’t cut out for long-term commitment. His parents’ genes were too strong for that.

  His feet obviously weren't listening to the silent musings going on in his brain. Before he even acknowledged he was moving, Chase found himself walking through the small copse of trees between his house and hers. He knew he couldn’t fight the impulse driving him forward.

  Maybe seeing the cottage would do him some good. That quaint little home his grandparents had built in hopes that one day their wayward teenage daughter would come home to stay was a perfect illustration of how foolish it was to put too much faith in love. He couldn't imagine the pain his grandparents must have endured knowing their pregnant sixteen year old child had run away to marry a biker.

  "I'm sorry, Dorien," he muttered, "for the pain she put you through."

  Standing silently along the edge of the lawn, Chase stared at the upstairs window. He knew the layout of the house like the back of his hand, he'd lived in it, after all, and was certain which room Claudia was in. He imagined she was sleeping peacefully. Would that he were.

  Claudia slipped out of Sarah’s room and stood indecisively in the upstairs hallway. She knew she should try to go back to bed but also knew sleep wouldn’t come. Hoping a cup of tea would help relax her, she headed downstairs.

  After brewing her tea, she flipped on the porch light and went outside. The evening air was still warm, thick with smells of earth and the jasmine curling on the trellis beneath the porch. Slipping into the rocking chair, she sat back, sipped her tea, and stared toward Chase’s house. Gradually, in the darkness, a small light became obvious, and she studied it until she realized it was the glowing tip of a cigarette.

  Chase Paxton stood a few yards from her house, leaning indolently against a tree, smoking and watching her in the night.

  Chase knew the moment she saw him. He’d been standing so silently, watching in disbelief as she slipped out of her house, wrapped in a silky robe which clung to her every curve. The full moon reflected the highlights in her hair and her shimmering robe sparkled like a beacon. He’d about cursed himself for a voyeur when she’d spotted him.

  His first impulse was to run. Just get the hell away and forget today had ever happened. Let the widow go on with her mourning, and he could find some other less vulnerable woman to ease the physical need plaguing him lately.

  But Chase Paxton was no coward.

  Silently, he slipped from the trees and approached the porch. She stopped rocking, but didn’t get up. Reaching the porch, he flicked his cigarette on the ground and crunched it beneath his heel. He placed his foot on the top step and leaned over, resting his elbow on his raised knee.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked finally when he still didn’t say a word.

  “Couldn’t sleep.”

  She nodded, and resumed her rocking. The fact that it was the middle of the night, and they sat outside with her in her robe, was disconcerting enough. In addition, a heavy silence settled between them, and Claudia had no idea what to say.

  Finally, unable to stand it any longer, she asked, “Can I get you some tea?”

  He laughed softly, as if recognizing her need to fill the silence, and said, “No, I don’t want tea.”

  She watched as he rubbed his fingers together, and rocked a little on the step. He didn’t look at her, but didn’t appear to be trying to avoid catching her eye, either. His stark profile was totally illuminated in the full moonlight, and Claudia studied him completely, noting the tense clenching of his jaw, and the stiff set of his mouth.

  “What do you want, Chase?”

  It was a loaded question. She knew it even as the words left her lips, but she couldn’t take them back. Her breath stuck in her throat as she watched him straighten slowly and stare her right in the eyes. Slowly, he shook his head from side to side, as if debating how to answer.

  Claudia didn’t question the impulse that came over her. Rising slowly from the chair, she stood and walked across the porch toward him. He stood two steps below her, and she fought her own anxiety as she stepped down to meet him. He still didn’t move, and she descended again, stopping just inches from him so that her hip was nearly touchin
g the inside of his thigh. Gently, she placed the palm of her hand over his chest. She felt his heart pounding beneath the thin cotton of his shirt.

  “Why did you come here?” she whispered, daring him to tell her the truth.

  “Why did you come here?” he countered.

  His voice was accusatory, as if he was angry with her for disturbing his ordered life. She nearly smiled, but before she was able, he moved forward and caught her lips in a sudden kiss.

  If their kiss that morning had been comfort turning to sweet seduction, this one was driven by pure desire. Claudia didn’t hesitate. Sliding her hands up and over his shoulders, she pulled him closer as his lips urged hers apart and his tongue licked hungrily at hers. He seemed unable to get enough of her, and turned his head to fit his mouth more perfectly over hers. She felt his excitement. His obvious arousal pressing against her lower body sent a surge of pure energy through her and she moaned.

  Chase heard Claudia’s moan as he felt her try to mold her body even tighter against his. Her robe had fallen open at some point in their embrace. Chase was very aware of the soft swell of her breasts pressing against his chest. He slid his hand to her slim waist, then slowly allowed his palm to glide a path up her midriff, earning another moan for his efforts. When he cupped her breast with his hand, gently smoothing his thumb over the taut nipple straining against the lacy nightdress, she whimpered. And while he kissed her, savored her, gave in to the soul shaking desire he felt for her, in his mind, he silently chanted, Just a little longer..

  He didn’t know how long the moment might have gone on, if it might have ended with the two of them lying naked in the lawn making love in the moonlight. But suddenly, Claudia pulled away, holding a shaky hand to her neck and cocking her head slightly in intense concentration.

  “Sarah,” she said shakily as she raised a quivering hand to her lips. “I thought I heard Sarah.”

  Chase didn’t hear a thing. For a moment, they both stood completely still, waiting for a cry, but it didn’t come. During that moment, Chase closed his eyes, clenching his fists as he slowed his ragged breathing.

  “It must have been the wind,” she said, raising apologetic eyes to him. She reached a shaky hand toward him, as if to touch his face, but he jerked away. Chase was so angry at himself for giving in to his desire for Claudia that he couldn’t bear to be near her. He forced himself to back down the steps and stand in the grass below her.

  “Hell, Claudia,” was all he could manage to say.

  She stared at him, her emerald green eyes huge and confused. He stared at her for a moment, noting her swollen lips, and her passion-glazed eyes. Her robe still hung askew, slipping off one shoulder. She didn’t even seem to notice that the thin spaghetti strap of her nightgown was sliding down with it. Chase swallowed hard, forcing himself to look past her toward the front door of the house.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I swore I wasn’t going to touch you again, after this morning, and here I am all over you.”

  “You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for,” Claudia insisted. “I knew what I was doing. I’m the one who came to you, remember?

  “Yeah, and what a chivalrous Galahad I am,” he replied with a bitter laugh. “I resisted you for all of about...half a second?”

  Chase watched as she finally took note of her appearance. She quickly pulled her robe up and cinched it tight at her waist, suddenly appearing shy and embarrassed.

  “Chase, look, you don’t have anything to feel guilty about,” she insisted. “It’s been such a long time since I’ve been physically close to another adult. Being in your arms was the most physical pleasure I’ve experienced in a very long time. I should be the one feeling guilty for taking advantage of you.”

  Chase might have laughed if she didn’t look so completely in earnest. She nodded her head as if convincing herself that the entire embrace had been her fault. He knew better, though. If she’d been wearing a fuzzy flannel nightgown, with her hair in curlers and green goo all over her face, he would still have found a reason to kiss her senseless.

  “And, as for this morning,” she continued when he didn’t respond, “obviously I understand what a concerned, sensitive man you are. You simply were trying to comfort me.”

  Chase gave a loud bark of laughter. “Sensitive man? I have to admit, no one’s ever accused me of that before. My accountant says I was a pirate in my past life. A few girlfriends have told me I have a rock where my heart should be, and my mother used to call me her partner in crime. But sensitive? No, never heard that one.”

  Claudia heard his bitterness. She watched him cross his thick arms across his chest and lean against the porch railing. He looked angry, his frown clearly visible in the moonlight. She could see, however, that his anger was directed more at himself. He sounded almost as if he believed what others said of him, which was really ridiculous. If anyone knew the kindness this man was capable of, it was Claudia.

  “I kissed you because I wanted to, all right? Both times,” he insisted. “You have a beautiful mouth, and a great set of legs, and I wanted to kiss you. Sensitivity had nothing to do with it.”

  Claudia heard his words, she saw the stiff set of his shoulders and his scowl. And she didn’t believe him one bit.

  “Why?”

  He looked at her in confusion for a moment. She continued, “Why do you act so hard? I know the real you. I’ve seen you when you don’t have your guard up. So, why the pretense?”

  He gaped at her, then frowned even deeper, furrowing his dark brows over his flashing brown eyes, and said, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Claudia stepped down toward him. Chase instinctively took a step back.

  “I know you,” she insisted.

  Chase paused for a brief moment, then, suddenly, shook his head angrily. “Look, lady, you don’t know a damned thing about me. You think I was moved to tears by your sorry story today? It would take a hell of a lot more than a neglectful stepfather to really bother me. You want to talk rotten childhood...how’s this? How’s not even knowing whether your father’s alive or dead because he walked out when you were three? How’s coming home to the filthy one room apartment you share with your drug addict mother and finding her dead on the floor? How’s being tossed into foster care, certain you’re going to stay there until you’re eighteen, and determined to run away at your first chance?”

  Claudia flinched, closing her eyes briefly as she pictured Chase as a little boy, a sweet, confused little dark-haired boy, abandoned by everyone who should by all rights have been protecting and cherishing him.

  “But you had Dorien,” she finally said softly.

  Chase nodded abruptly and glanced toward his grandmother’s house.

  “At least before she killed herself my mother had the decency to write to her parents and tell them where to find me. Considering she’d broken their hearts when she was sixteen and told them she was pregnant, then ran away to marry my father, I guess it was the least she could do.”

  Claudia felt tears slip from her eyes and down her cheeks as she imagined how pained his young life had been. How foolish she must have sounded to Chase, to be so bitter about a stepfather who wouldn’t yell at her.

  “How old were you when she...died?” she asked softly.

  “Ten,” Chase admitted as he roughly thrust his hand through his thick hair. “Going on thirty. I was as old on that day as I am now, and that’s not some melodramatic bull tossed around by weak men crying to their overpaid therapists.”

  She nodded. “Of course it’s not. But, still, Dorien, and your grandfather...”

  “My mother taught me survival of the fittest. Any lessons my grandparents tried to impart were too little too late.”

  “I don’t believe that,” she insisted.

  “Then you’re a fool,” he replied angrily.

  Claudia reached to him, wanting to soothe his pain, but he jerked away from her.

  “Look, I was crazy to come over here. I was cra
zier to kiss you again. The last thing you need right now is what I'm really dying to give you.”

  Claudia gasped a little at his words.

  “But you don’t have to worry,” he continued. “I will not touch you again. Let’s call this a moonlight experiment and forget it ever happened.”

  A part of her—a huge part—wanted to cry at that thought, but Claudia knew he was right. She had to force herself to forget her mad moment’s impulse to, for once, give in to her senses and engage in a purely physical affair with this man who attracted her like no one else had. She had to think of Sarah.

  But, oh, it hurt so badly to admit that what they’d started on the steps of her porch was never going to come to its full fruition.

  “I know,” she said finally. “We’ll just forget this ever happened and go on from here, all right?”

  He didn’t answer. Nodding abruptly, he turned and walked back toward the woods. She watched him until he disappeared, noting that he didn’t look back even once.

  CHAPTER NINE

  During the next couple of weeks, Claudia remained determined not to behave any differently toward her employer. She felt completely at ease at Paxton Construction, getting along well with the other office staff. Even the Sarge seemed to be unbending a bit. She knew a lot of the sub-contractors, and was well underway with some of her program designs. She liked the work, enjoyed the challenge...and tried very hard to avoid her boss. He seemed to be doing the same.

  She’d had a few long, sleepless nights though. Alone in her bed, she mentally replayed their encounters, trying to grasp the feelings she’d had at the moments he’d kissed her. She found herself wondering if he was standing outside, near the trees, watching her house in the dark. Claudia was honest enough with herself to admit that she never got up to look because she was afraid she’d see him there. Or, worse, that she wouldn’t.