“Yeah, you’re probably right. Okay. Let’s go.” Before Derek could voice another objection, Blake pushed away from him and stood. Derek scrambled up with none of his usual grace, and followed Blake out the door. Blake purposefully didn’t look at the blood-stained chair and floor. Derek usually wiped up the chair while Blake recovered, and he wasn’t accustomed to seeing the evidence of his death quite so plainly.
Blake wanted to stop and talk to his brother, just to assure both Sam and himself that he was all right. But the red light was on above Sam and Dom’s office, indicating that they were in an active ghostwalk. Sam might not even know what happened yet. He was sure Dom would tell him once he recovered, and by then he’d hopefully have some answers for Sam—and himself.
Blake did stop at Julie’s desk and ask her politely if she’d call the cleaning crew to take care of the mess in his office. She smiled brightly for him. Though there were tears in her light blue eyes, she assured him she would see to it.
“There’ll be no evidence by the time you’re done with Mr. King.” Her smile turned sympathetic at Blake’s obvious wince.
“Is he ready for us?”
She gestured over her shoulder. “You can go on in.”
King’s office was off the lobby, behind an imposing set of walnut double doors. Blake squared his shoulders, put on a brave face, and steeled himself for what he would encounter on the other side. Then Derek slipped his big hand into Blake’s, and he instantly relaxed. He wasn’t going to see King on his own. Derek had his back.
Just like always.
Derek knocked and pushed open the door at King’s bidding. King sat behind a gigantic desk, the same walnut as the doors and the bookshelves that lined one wall. He stared at them imperiously and gestured to the two guest chairs across from him.
“Have a seat.”
Blake’s knees wobbled. If anyone asked he would blame his recent ordeal. King was an excellent boss and cared deeply for his operatives. He would do anything to protect and care for them. But that didn’t mean the whole situation wasn’t intimidating.
No one spoke for a long time, and Blake started to fidget under King’s impassive, assessing gaze. How many times had he been pinned by those dark eyes? And every time, he felt as though King could see into his soul. Of course it was just King reading his thoughts.
“Tell me, gentlemen,” King began, his sonorous voice especially deep in the hush of the office. “What do you know about anchor bonds?”
Blake snorted out a laugh before he could check it, and Derek jerked up even straighter than before. Blake cast him a look out of the corner of his eye and then fixed his attention on King.
“They aren’t actually real, right?”
Derek squeezed his hand, and the gesture seemed to urge silence. Blake turned fully to look at his partner, but Derek was staring at King. “They are incredibly rare. No way that’s what’s going on.”
Blake gaped. As glad as he was that Derek seemed to be on the same page, he couldn’t believe that he actually thought they were real. Okay. So there were a few reported cases over the years, but they had to be fabrication, didn’t they? He’d always thought they were a myth. Those pairs had to be exaggerating.
“They are real. And yes, they are incredibly rare.” King’s voice was smooth, devoid of emotion, as though he expected both of them to react as they had. “There have been fifty-two bonds recorded in Requiem’s history. Only seventeen of them have been in the past fifty years. Eighteen, now, if I have my guess.”
“No way,” Blake burst out.
Derek frowned in concentration. “In order for an anchor bond to form, the anchor has to have the gene, and the pair has to connect on a mental, emotional, and physical level.”
“Correct.” King nodded slowly and leaned forward to rest his elbows on the desk. “It doesn’t often happen that a pair is fully compatible on every level. I’ve seen the way you two act, the way you’re drawn to each other. Do you hate being apart? Feel an ache and a need to be with each other? Feel easier in each other’s presence?”
Blake opened his mouth to refute it, because the idea was ridiculous, but he shut it without saying a word. From the moment he and Derek met, there was a connection. And that pain in his chest—the bone-deep but inexplicable ache—only happened when he and Derek were apart. He hadn’t allowed himself to examine it before, refused to give it much thought. And he certainly hadn’t discussed it with Derek. A quick glance at Derek confirmed his suspicion. He felt it too.
“Holy crap,” Blake breathed.
“That’s what I thought.” King sighed heavily. “When you came back too early today, Blake, my suspicions were confirmed. You shouldn’t have been able to do that. But your connection to Derek is so strong, it pulled you back too fast.”
Blake’s jaw dropped. “Oh my God.”
King ignored him and went on with his explanation. “An anchor exhibits some telepathic abilities, albeit, low level ones. The bond stems from the anchor, but only a ghostwalker who connects with their anchor as you have with Derek will feel the same responses. And when both halves of the pair feel it, the bond starts to form.”
Blake’s mind spun with a hundred different questions, but before he could voice even one, Derek beat him to it.
“So what does that mean for us?”
Blake felt Derek’s tension—in his voice, in the hand that gripped his, and even more amazingly, in his own chest. Holy shit in a handbasket.
“Fraternization is discouraged for a very good reason. But in a case like yours, it can’t be ignored. If you choose to cement the bond, then you’ll need guidance to keep doing your job.”
Blake sat up straight. “We have a choice here?”
Sadness swamped through Blake, and if he hadn’t been sitting, he probably would have collapsed. He looked at Derek, but Derek was very carefully keeping his face impassive. When Derek’s grip started to loosen and pull away, Blake held on for all he was worth. He hadn’t meant that they shouldn’t form the bond, just that he was surprised there was a choice.
“Of course you have a choice.” King glared at him until his face relaxed into an expression Blake was much more used to seeing. “There’s always a choice.”
“Okay,” Blake said, unable to keep the relief out of his voice. “So what do we do right now?”
“You go home.” King sighed out another breath and lifted a hand to rub his temple. “You’re temporarily off duty. I’ve called in help, and he should be here tomorrow or the next day, depending on when he can get a flight. Then you have some choices to make.”
Blake nodded and stood. He was anxious to get Derek alone so they could talk. “Are we dismissed, then?”
King shot him another look, one he couldn’t interpret, but he nodded. “Go. Oh, and Blake?”
Blake stopped and looked back at his boss.
“Talk to him.” King’s voice was low but serious.
Blake nodded and hurried after Derek. He had several inches on Blake, and they were all in the leg, so he had a huge stride. When he hurried, he moved twice as fast. Blake jogged to catch up and grabbed Derek’s hand as soon as he could.
Derek wouldn’t even look at him.
“I swear, I was just surprised,” Blake babbled, not caring that they were still in the hall. “I thought bonds were a myth, and then I was shocked that we had a choice. It doesn’t mean I don’t want it. Derek. Please.”
What Blake saw in Derek’s eyes was enough to break his heart. His warm, dark gaze was filled with equal measures of hurt and hope, and the sight made Blake’s chest tighten painfully.
“Please, honey,” he said, lowering his voice. “I swear, I didn’t mean it like it sounded.”
The moment of silence felt like it stretched on for an eternity. Then Derek’s stiff shoulders relaxed, and he used the grip Blake had on his hand to haul Blake in a little closer. He was about to say something, but he stopped and looked up. They were still in the hall, and Derek shook his head and
tugged Blake after him until they entered the office.
When Derek shut the door behind them, Blake rounded on him, ready to plead his case again. He had to make Derek see it was just shock, nothing more, that made him say those things. But Derek spoke first.
“I’m sorry.”
Blake’s brain stuttered to a halt. “Sorry for what?”
“This is all my fault. The bond comes from me, and if I hadn’t been partnered with you, then none of this would have happened. If you don’t want it, I’ll understand. We’d be tied together permanently. And I know we were talking about that anyway, but we’ve just begun, and I’ll understand if—”
“Stop,” Blake interrupted gently. “None of this is your fault. Okay. On a base level, it’s you. But if I didn’t connect back, it wouldn’t have started forming, right? I think we’re both shocked. Taken off guard. We need to talk about stuff, yeah?”
Derek stared at him, but eventually he blew out a breath. “Pizza or deli sandwiches?”
Blake barked out a laugh, sort of relieved that Derek was falling back on their game to make things easier. “In general I’d say pizza. But tonight let’s stop on the way home and get sandwiches. It’s faster and easier.”
Derek nodded, and relaxed a fraction more. “Sounds good. Though I have to say sandwiches generally.”
Blake grinned and asked, “Your place or mine?”
“Mine.” Derek looked away. “If that’s okay.”
“Always. I would say yours too, you know. I love your house.”
Derek packed up their things, and Blake noticed that their office had been cleaned in the twenty minutes they were in King’s office. He breathed out a sigh of relief. Their bags were quickly packed and they donned their winter wear.
“Shall we go?”
Derek didn’t hesitate to take his hand.
IN the end they didn’t talk all that much about the looming decision they needed to make. It felt too weighty to Blake, and Derek seemed in agreement. Blake wasn’t sure exactly what “help” entailed, but it sounded like King was bringing in someone who knew about bonds. They decided to wait until they had more information. Blake worried he was being a coward by avoiding the subject, but he also thought they were both too emotional and shocked to make decisions.
They ate their sandwiches amid more questions.
“French fries or potato chips?”
The resounding answer from both sides was fries.
“Sweet pickles or dill?”
Blake preferred sweet, but Derek was adamant that it depended solely on his mood and/or what they were served with. That launched into a ten-minute dissertation about pickles, and Derek explained all their various uses as both a garnish and an ingredient. Blake relaxed back on the couch and slid his feet into Derek’s lap. Almost without conscious thought, Derek set down his cup of tea and massaged Blake’s feet.
They turned on a movie when they chose comedy over action. It was mindless and a little bit dumb, but it seemed mundane, and that’s exactly what Blake needed.
The thought of being tied to Derek irrevocably was both thrilling and terrifying. He had already worried about what would happen when they parted or when Derek died. A bond would add a whole new layer. The thought of walking away from Derek made his heart pound and his stomach tense. But was he ready for that kind of commitment? To have that kind of connection, soul deep, and then possibly lose it? He didn’t know if he was strong enough.
Derek didn’t push. He just slowly and methodically rubbed Blake’s feet and calves until he was a relaxed pile of mush.
But when the hour grew late and Derek asked, “Sleep together or apart?” Blake could only give one answer.
“Together.”
Chapter Eighteen
AVERY Wagner had an intimidating air.
He was short and slim, impeccably dressed, and his dark hair swept back from a high forehead to reveal a classically handsome face—a face he kept fixed in an expression of utter neutrality. He wasn’t anything like Derek had imagined when King called that morning and told them to report to the conference room at one o’clock.
Blake went into a terrible state the moment they got the call. He hoped to get that extra day, that the help King had spoken of wouldn’t arrive so soon and they could keep pretending they didn’t have something huge to deal with. Derek, on the other hand, was more than ready to meet the man and get things settled between himself and Blake.
It was his turn to fear that Blake would run.
Derek had attempted to calm Blake down by teaching him to bake cookies, and the effects of the sugar aside, it seemed to work. Blake was an attentive student, and moving around his small kitchen with Blake at his side was a dream come true. That was how he wanted to spend the rest of their lives.
He’d been falling in love with Blake for weeks, and he was ready to take that leap. He didn’t know what he would do if Blake wasn’t. Well, he’d respect Blake’s choice, of course. Try to change his mind, maybe. But the thought of walking away from Blake nearly tore a hole in his chest.
Derek thought it was a good sign that Blake hadn’t run yet, so he didn’t push when all he wanted to do was talk about it. Instead he focused on Blake’s needs, just like always, and that seemed to center them both. And now they were standing in the conference room, staring at an aloof, pretty man who was staring back.
“Well, sit down,” Avery said with a regal incline of his head. “We have a lot to discuss, and you aren’t going to do it on your feet.”
Derek pulled out Blake’s chair for him and sat in the one beside it. They looked across the wide table at Avery, and for a long moment, no one spoke. Blake not so subtly shifted his chair closer to Derek’s and then slid his hand into Derek’s lap and gripped Derek’s thigh. With a soft sigh, Derek relaxed a fraction and rested his hand on top of Blake’s.
Avery gave them a small, seemingly reluctant smile. “Well there’s no doubt you’ve begun the bonding process. The way you seek each other out makes it clear. The chemistry just crackles off you. I remember the early days, when it was exactly like that for me and Luke.”
“You’re bonded?” Blake’s voice was laced with surprise, but it echoed Derek’s thoughts.
Avery’s smile turned sad for a split second before it disappeared and his expression was once again impassive. His voice was low, and he couldn’t quite hide the pain when he spoke. “I was. My anchor died. Cancer.”
Derek’s heart cracked, and he almost reached out a hand, but he caught himself. “Oh, Avery. I’m so sorry.”
Avery waved a hand, but he had to swallow hard before he could speak again. “It was three years ago, and by the time we knew anything was wrong, he didn’t have long. He didn’t suffer overmuch. Thank you, but I’m coping.”
Outwardly Avery certainly did seem to have a handle on his grief, but Derek had to wonder if that was for appearances. Just the thought of losing Blake nearly gutted him. And he knew how Blake would react if Derek were taken from him too soon. It was Blake’s biggest worry, that Derek would leave him alone. A sort of anger bubbled up in Derek’s chest. How dare King bring in someone who had lost his partner? It was going to scare Blake off.
Blake must have felt his agitation because he immediately rubbed Derek’s thigh. It was hard to stay angry when Blake was right there, comforting him as best he could, especially when he knew his emotions would add to Blake’s distress. He focused his mind, took three deep, even breaths, let them out slowly, and purposefully relaxed his shoulders. He needed calm and focus for this.
“Which is something you need to take into account, of course, if you decide to complete the bond. Either one of you could die, though it’s more likely Derek will. And you will suffer heartbreak like you have never known when the other half of you is gone.” Avery took a breath, and his voice was softer as he continued. “I’m not trying to scare you. I’m really not. But while this is really the only downside to bonding, it’s a big one, and you need to be prepared for its e
ventuality.”
Derek nodded and lifted an arm. He pulled Blake in and tucked him against his chest because he needed the comfort as much as Blake did right then. Blake settled easily against him, his body pliant, but he kept his gaze fixed on Avery.
“Are there any other downsides?”
Avery cocked his head to the side and studied them. “Really, the only other thing is that you, Blake, will have to learn additional skills to navigate the spirit plane. You’ll be even more drawn to Derek, and there are things you need to learn in order to ghostwalk safely. I can teach you, of course. If you so choose.”
Blake nodded, and Derek relaxed. Blake’s reaction so far was fairly positive, and he hadn’t jumped up and left yet, which was a good sign. He kissed the side of Blake’s head and heard a happy little hum issue from Blake’s throat.
Avery gave them the briefest of smiles. “So the downsides are huge, it’s true. But so are the benefits. Maybe we should talk about them for a little bit. I want you to be as informed as possible, so you know what you’re getting into.”
The way he said it gave Derek pause. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to ask questions or if he was stepping over a line, but he asked anyway. “Forgive me if I’m being too forward, but did you not know what you were getting into when you bonded with your anchor?”
Avery shook his head and actually laughed, though it sounded a little hollow. “Definitely not. Luke and I had no idea what was going on, and we managed to seal the bond before anyone was the wiser. We kept our relationship a secret, for obvious reasons, and our connection was so strong it didn’t take long for it to solidify.” Avery sat up straight. “I don’t regret it. Not for a second. I don’t want you to think I do. I wouldn’t change our ten years together for anything, not even the immeasurable pain I’ve felt these past three years.”
Ghost of a Chance Page 14
