At that—at the pain in his voice—Derek nearly stood up and rounded the table so he could give Avery a clearly needed hug. But Avery waved him back down, and his smile was a little more real.
“You anchors. Can’t help but soothe and care. I’m fine, really. Or at least I’m okay. I’ve been coping and dealing with the loss for a long time, and even though it still hurts, will always hurt, I’m all right.”
“Thank you for coming to speak with us. To help us. We both appreciate it more than we can say.” The least he could do was express his gratitude.
Avery nodded in acknowledgment, but he squirmed slightly in his seat, as though the words made him uncomfortable. Derek wanted to fix that too, but Avery didn’t give him a chance.
“On to the good things. But I’m sure you already know them. Your connection will go soul deep. You’ll be able to feel each other’s strong emotions, know instinctively what your partner needs when he needs it. Derek, your caring after a ghostwalk will surpass what either of you have experienced thus far. Just seeing you will calm Blake and center him. And Blake, though you’ll have to be careful when you’re on the spirit plane, your deep connection to Derek will make traveling back and forth easier than you ever imagined.
“But it goes beyond just the job, of course. From what Michael says, you’ve already experienced some of that. You’ll want to be together basically all the time. It’ll take time and work and care, but you’ll eventually have a relationship—a love—that rivals any of the great fairy tales. For me and Luke, for all the pairs who decided to bond, the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks. You just have to decide if that’s what’s right for you.”
Derek let that all sink in, and a warmth suffused his core. That was exactly what he’d been wanting—craving—his entire life. Hearing it all laid out like that, Derek wanted to shout yes and cement the bond right that moment. But he was only half the pair, and he had to take Blake’s feelings into account as well.
“And if we decide it’s not?” Blake leaned in, kissed the side of Derek’s neck, and murmured, “I’m not saying it’s not. Okay? I just want to know.”
“I know.” Derek placed a chaste kiss on Blake’s lips. He had to assure Blake that he understood. And he did… on an intellectual level. His heart was screaming something different, but it wasn’t a decision either of them could make impetuously.
“Well, then you walk away from each other. And I mean a complete break.” Avery fixed them both with a hard stare. “As in no contact with each other ever again—no seeing each other, no talking, no nothing. Absolutely no contact. Eventually the temporary bond you’ve forged thus far will weaken and all but disappear. You’ll be able to live fairly normal, happy lives. Though there will always be a part of you that misses the other, it’ll be more like a distant memory.”
Derek shuddered, and Blake leaned more heavily against him. That sounded awful, and Derek felt the pang of loss when he tried to imagine walking away from Blake forever.
“And how do we seal the bond?” Blake asked, his voice oddly nasal sounding. A quick glance down showed Derek that Blake’s eyes had filled. Blake blinked hard to clear the tears.
“Sex, of course.” Avery gave them another small grin. “You’re already connected. You just have to keep doing what you’re doing. And being together in the most intimate of ways, letting each other in, will cement the bond.”
“How will we know when the bond is complete?” Derek had to ask.
“Trust me,” Avery said, his voice low and full of conviction. “You’ll know. There will be no doubt.”
They sat in silence, lost in their own thoughts. Derek’s mind was racing. He needed out of that room, needed to be back home with Blake so they could talk in private. The desire to have Blake to himself was like an itch under his skin.
“Do either of you have any other questions?” Avery asked, breaking the silence. Derek had about a million, but none that Avery could answer. Blake shook his head.
“I imagine you have a lot to talk about, hmm?” Avery stood, reached into his pocket, and pulled out his wallet. He extracted a card and leaned across the table to hand it over. Derek stood to accept it. “Let’s do this then. You go home and talk, and if you think of anything else, you call me, and I’ll help. Make your decision. I’ll be here until you do. If you choose to walk away, I’ll go home. And if you don’t….” Avery gave a tiny shrug. “Then I’ll be here to help you learn what you need to know.”
Blake stood up. “Thank you, Avery. This means a lot to us.” He shook Avery’s hand across the table and then turned and grabbed on to Derek’s forearm. “Let’s go home.”
NEITHER said a word on the drive home. Derek wanted to—damn but he wanted to—but he kept his thoughts to himself. They drove in silence until they got to Derek’s home. The moment he pulled into the driveway and shut off the car, Blake was out of the passenger seat and powerwalking to the front door. Derek scrambled to catch up with him, and when he unlocked the door, Blake pushed in first.
In that same silence, they took off their outerwear. Derek’s nerves were jangling in his stomach. What did Blake’s silence mean? Derek kept quiet for fear of pushing Blake, but Blake didn’t have the same fears. He couldn’t. Derek had made it clear on more than one occasion that he wanted Blake forever.
“This is weird, right?” Blake finally asked.
Derek cast him a sidelong glance. “How so?”
Blake huffed out an impatient breath. “Because he basically just told us to go home and have sex. He knows what we’re doing.”
Derek fought a smile. “We don’t have to have sex.”
Blake looked scandalized. “But I want to.”
“You’re hysterical,” Derek said with a laugh. “One minute you’re… wait a minute now. Blake?”
“All right, all right. Conversation first, then.” Blake gave a long, drawn out sigh, as though it were an imposition. But then he shot Derek a sweet, heat-filled smile and took his hand to lead him to the couch. When Derek sat, Blake immediately cuddled up to him and fit himself against Derek’s chest in exactly the way he liked.
“So, I was thinking the whole way home. Really my mind has been going over it since yesterday. But my thoughts have been more focused since we talked to Avery.” He blew out a breath and turned his head to kiss Derek’s Adam’s apple. “If we bond, losing you is going to be the worst thing ever for me, right? But if we bond, nothing but death can take you from me. I was worried about what would happen if you got tired of me or loved me and then stopped. Now I know that can never happen.”
Derek tried not to feel hurt, but he couldn’t help it. “It wouldn’t have happened anyway.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do.” Derek grasped Blake’s chin in a light grip and tilted his beloved’s face up so he could look right into Blake’s eyes. “You are just so damn beautiful, inside and out. And caring for you is an honor and a privilege.” He paused, thinking it might be too soon, but needing to say it anyway. “I love you, Blake. Soul deep already. So I know nothing short of death would have taken me away.”
Blake sucked in a breath. “Are you… that’s probably just the bond talking, right?”
Derek rolled his eyes and shook Blake a little. “Blake, the bond couldn’t have formed at all if the feelings weren’t already there. Weren’t you listening? Without us making the connection ourselves, there’d be no bond at all.”
“Yeah. I know.” Blake grinned. “But it had to be said.”
“No, it didn’t,” Derek grumbled.
Blake laughed, snuggled in, and laid his head right over Derek’s heart. For a moment they just breathed together, and Derek sorted out what he wanted to say. “So. You want to bond, then?”
“We’ve been given this gift, right? And Avery is here to help me. He knows, man. He’s a ghostwalker too, so he knows what it’s like to feel it from this side.” Blake let out a huff of breath. “I don’t know. It’s weird. This whole thing has set
tled in me, and I just know it’s the right thing. You love me. I… I could easily fall in love with you.” Blake glanced up and looked sheepish.
Derek leaned down and kissed Blake’s lips. “It’s okay if you’re not sure of that love yet, baby. I know you’ll get there. I’ve always known.”
Blake grinned and then kissed Derek hard. He pushed himself up so he was straddling Derek’s hips with his hands braced on Derek’s chest. “So, yeah. Am I still worried about you dying? Of course I am. Avery is still devastated at losing Luke. That’s terrifying. But the rest of it? Derek, I want that.”
Happiness, hope, and love swelled in Derek’s chest. He cleared his throat. “Bond or walk away?”
Blake blinked. “Wait a minute now. Aren’t you going to talk this to death with me first? You’ve been so careful with me, which God, do I appreciate. You’re amazing. But that’s it? Just jump in?”
Derek looked right into Blake’s eyes and gave him the complete and total truth. “All I’ve ever wanted, my whole life, is to love someone so completely that it consumes me. To have someone to take care of and cherish and love. To know that person is going to be by my side no matter what. This is what I’ve been waiting for my whole life. Everything in me calls to you, longs for you. If you wanted to walk away, I would, but only because you insisted on it. Blake, don’t you realize I would do anything for you.”
The tears in Blake’s eyes weren’t a concern, because Derek could feel exactly what they stemmed from. “Yeah, honey. I know. And you confirm it over and over again.”
“So you’re sitting here giving me everything I’ve ever wanted, and everything I’ve been desiring since the moment I turned in that conference room and saw your beautiful face. You say you’re in. I’ve already gotten there. I’m ready.”
Blake’s blue eyes darkened with lust and affection, and he licked his lips and stared down into Derek’s eyes. His fingers moved, squeezed, and then he lowered his hips until he was sitting right on Derek’s cock. “It’s a good thing I can’t die, because otherwise Sam would murder me for not telling him first.”
Derek grinned. “Do you want to talk to your brother first? I can wait a few hours if you do.”
Blake shook his head slowly, and Derek saw his conviction. “You’ll just have to protect me when I tell him.”
“Always.”
Blake shuddered. “Yeah.”
“So answer the question. Bond or walk away?”
Blake surprised him by climbing off him, but he held out his hand. “Bond.”
Chapter Nineteen
THE air between them crackled with electricity. Blake wasn’t nervous. He thought he would be. What they were doing was life altering in the extreme. He’d be bound to Derek as completely as possible. No. They’d be bound to each other—a give and take—if it worked.
Stretched out and naked on the bed, Blake watched as Derek divested himself of the rest of his clothes. He really was a work of art, all dark skin and hard muscles. He moved with a grace that made Blake’s mouth water. But even more than that, Blake knew Derek’s heart, and that was the most beautiful thing about him.
“What if it doesn’t work?” Blake whispered his concern and kept his gaze fixed on Derek’s face.
His gentle smile was enough to assuage all of Blake’s fears. “Oh, baby. It’ll work. Maybe not this time, because I’ve already been in you dozens of times, and it was the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt. But if it doesn’t happen now, we’ll just have to keep trying. Over and over and….” Derek paused as he slid into bed and draped his large body over Blake’s. Blake sucked in a breath at the contact. Derek’s heated skin felt so good against his own. “Over again.”
Blake chuckled, but it cut off when Derek lowered his head to Blake’s neck. He went right for Blake’s hot spot, kissing and licking that little patch of skin until Blake squirmed in his hold, writhed up, and tried to press every part of himself against every part of Derek. He loved Derek’s big body, the way it enveloped him and made him feel safe. That was just as big a turn on as everything else about him.
“Oh God. Derek.” He moaned and wiggled until he got his legs free, and bent his knees so he could hold Derek in the cradle of his pelvis. Derek’s erection slid against Blake’s, and Blake whined out another moan at the contact. Their slick cockheads trailed precome on Blake’s abdomen, and he pushed a hand between them so he could feel it. He held them both in his hand and stroked.
“Mmm. Baby, that feels so good.” Derek moved to the other side of his neck and trailed kisses down until he got to Blake’s collarbone, where he bit lightly. Blake jerked and gasped, and the sensation blossomed into pure pleasure.
“No condom,” Blake forced out, arching into Derek’s mouth. “We don’t need it anymore.”
Derek went still for a long second, and Blake thought he’d said something wrong. Then Derek groaned out a deep, lustful sound and pressed his forehead to the side of Blake’s neck.
“Are you sure?” he whispered. Blake could hear the unadulterated want in Derek’s tone.
“So sure. You’re going to be mine forever. And a condom will only get in the way.”
“Get me the lube,” Derek ground out, desperation coloring his voice. “Now. I need to be in you.”
“You get it.” Blake slid his fingers into Derek’s pubic hair and tugged just a little. “It’s your house.”
Derek growled and leaned sideways to reach the nightstand. “We’re going to have to talk about living arrangements later. But for now pull your knees up. I want to see that gorgeous ass.”
Blake’s whole body thrummed with arousal as he grabbed behind his knees and pulled them up and out. His entire body was on display, and his hole clenched as Derek’s gaze slid down to his cock, balls, and ass. For a long moment, he stared, and without taking his gaze off Blake’s body, slicked his fingers. Blake didn’t know what he wanted to watch more—Derek’s face as he got Blake ready, or Derek’s fingers as they spread the lube inside him. He settled for bouncing back and forth until the feel of Derek’s ministrations were too much, and he had to close his eyes. He lifted his hips, wanting more, but Derek pulled his fingers free.
“Now. Derek, please. Now.”
“Yes,” Derek agreed as he moved into position. Blake cracked his eyes open when Derek took hold of his hips and tilted them up farther. Then, with one hand on the back of Blake’s thigh, he slicked himself with the other and guided his dick to Blake’s hole.
He pushed in slowly, not stopping but not rushing, and Blake’s whole body strained to take the girth. He spread his knees farther, arched, and pushed out a little. Then, as he relaxed, Derek’s cock slid inside, and Blake howled.
“Don’t move. Don’t move, baby. Give me a minute. Oh God, you’re so hot and tight.”
Blake forced himself to breathe. He wanted Derek to move, but he didn’t want it to be over. His channel rippled around Derek all on its own, and Blake fought not to thrust up. His dick was so hard it hurt, and a steady stream of precome trickled down his abdomen. Just as he was about to beg, Derek got his knees under him and thrust.
Blake bit his hand to muffle the scream.
It felt unbelievably good. Up until that moment, he thought sex with Derek had been the best he’d ever had. But this was a whole new level of amazing. He hooked one ankle around Derek’s buttcheek and urged him to go faster, harder. He needed more, wanted that furious pounding as Derek rode him. He needed to come, but more than that, he needed Derek to come inside him, to flood him with his seed so he could feel the proof of their joining deep inside.
“Oh God,” Blake moaned as he twisted to get a hand on his dick. “Faster. Derek, harder. Need it. Need to come. Need you to come.”
The feeling was all encompassing and just out of reach, and Blake strained toward it and stroked his dick tightly. If he could just come, if Derek could, then everything would be right. They’d be whole. Blake arched again, and the head of Derek’s dick slid against his prostate. He scream
ed out Derek’s name and dug his nails into Derek’s arm where he held on. He came violently and shuddered in Derek’s arms.
Derek kept going, his thrusts uneven and hard, and suddenly he came and filled Blake with warm, sticky seed.
And in that moment, something clicked in Blake’s chest. It loosened and grew until it filled his entire being. Overwhelmed, he shook, and his dick let out one last burst of come. Derek collapsed and crushed Blake to him with his hand on his ass where they were still joined. He turned them onto their sides, but pressed his hips even harder against Blake’s ass, as though he didn’t want to lose the connection.
“Don’t pull out.” Blake scrabbled his fingers on Derek’s sweat-slick shoulders, a desperation in his voice he didn’t recognize. “Please. Stay inside.”
“Not going anywhere.” Derek’s voice was guttural and strained, but he clamped his fingers down even harder and kept them locked together. Blake was sure he would have bruises on his ass, but he didn’t care.
“I feel you.” Blake sounded drugged even to his own ears, his words slurred and slow. “Feel you inside. My ass, my stomach, my chest. You’re everywhere.”
“Yeah, baby.” Derek blew out a breath and tried to get his breathing under control. He used his nose to tip Blake’s face up and kissed him slowly, languidly taking his time, making it last. He put all his love and affection into one single, mind-numbing, never-ending kiss.
A long time later—Blake wasn’t sure exactly how much time had passed—he felt Derek’s softened dick start to slip out. He clenched, wanting to keep it inside even though he knew it was a futile effort. For a moment Derek tried to help. Then he laughed softly and pulled out gently.
“No,” Blake whined.
Derek rolled him onto his back and spread his big palm over Blake’s left pectoral. “Don’t worry, baby. I’m still here. Can you feel me?”
Blake took a second to really examine his feelings, and he gasped. He could. It was a low, happy hum, like white noise in the background, just kind of there and content and loving. “It worked.”
Ghost of a Chance Page 15
