“It sure did. But just to be sure, we should probably do that a few more times before tomorrow. Don’t you think?” Derek waggled his eyebrows.
Blake laughed, whole and happy for the first time he could remember. He’d been fine before and even thought he’d been happy. But nothing even came close to what it felt like to have the other half of his soul finally resting inside him.
“I love you.” Derek pressed his lips to Blake’s ear.
“You’re mine,” Blake responded, and he drifted off to sleep.
Chapter Twenty
AFTER the best night of Blake’s life, he wanted nothing more than to hole up with Derek and never emerge. But the rest of the world waited for them, and after a leisurely breakfast of vegetable frittata, they began making calls—first to Avery and then to King. Then Blake kissed Derek soundly and left him to call his family to break the news while Blake went to see Sam. He couldn’t tell his brother over the phone or in a message, so he showed up on Sam’s doorstep with his favorite designer coffee and a big grin.
Sam instantly knew something was up.
So Blake told him and waited for his brother to explode. Sam surprised him, however. Instead of yelling, instead of chastising Blake for not talking to him first, he just gave Blake a sad sort of smile and said he was happy for him.
“Sammy?”
“I really am. God, I’m so happy for you. Derek is exactly what you need, what you want, and even though I don’t know him very well yet, I know that’ll change. Dom likes him, and what I’ve seen and heard of him, I like too. I have no doubt it’ll be amazing for you. You deserve it, Blake.”
Blake knew he meant it, but he couldn’t help but wonder at the slight edge to Sam’s tone. “But?”
Sam shrugged. “But? I’m jealous. That’s all there is to it. I’m jealous you’ve got your forever man. But that doesn’t diminish it. You have to know that, Blake.”
“You’ll find him,” Blake assured him. “You’ll find your forever man.”
Sam’s smile was very sad, and Blake knew exactly what he was thinking—that Sam had found the man he wanted to spend his life with, but the situation was impossible. Blake let it go, not wanting to upset his brother any further. Instead Blake filled Sam in on the changes that were coming up for him, glossing over the peace he felt now that his bond was solid.
Several hours later, when the ache in his chest got too great, he went home and listened to Derek’s stories about how his family was happy for him. He asked Blake if he’d be up to taking a trip sometime soon to Sacramento, so they could all meet, and Blake thought that was a good idea. After they got a handle on their bond and how it would affect ghostwalking, he figured they could take a couple of weeks’ vacation and head across the country.
But Avery was in town now, and they needed to use him while they could. The next morning they packed bags and headed into the office. Avery was staying in one of the suites while he was there, and Blake and Derek would join him for a few days while Avery attempted to teach Blake all he knew about ghostwalking when bonded.
It started with meditation.
Blake tried not to show his displeasure on his face, but he was completely unsuccessful because Avery scowled and Derek chuckled.
“He’s not a fan of meditation,” Derek explained as he pulled Blake into his arms. “He thinks he’s no good at it.”
“Well he better learn,” Avery said tersely. He fixed Blake with a hard look. “That grounding is what’s going to get you into the right headspace before you go on a walk. Thinking too much about your bond—about Derek—is going to make things very difficult. You have to be centered and ready when you die, or you won’t be able to do anything at all in the spirit plane.”
Derek took Blake’s hand and led him to a spot by the windows. Though they were in a different suite than the one where they originally sequestered, each suite was pretty much exactly the same. Derek sat, pulled off his shirt, and tossed it aside. When Blake glared at him, he just grinned.
“Come sit down with me.”
Blake grumbled as he sat right between Derek’s legs. He didn’t remove his own shirt, but he did lean back and give Derek his weight.
“If I get hard in front of a stranger,” Blake mumbled, “I will never forgive you.”
Derek just chuckled, and the sound reverberated through Blake’s back. He wrapped Blake in his arms, and Blake felt the beginnings of arousal tighten in his stomach. He ignored it and closed his eyes, focusing on Derek’s breathing and matching his inhalations.
“That’s good.” Avery’s voice was low, unobtrusive, and very different from any tone Blake had heard from him before. “Breathe together. Feel each other with your hearts and minds.”
It wasn’t much different from what they normally did before Blake went on a ghostwalk. They’d picked up the habit some weeks back, and it always helped Blake to feel centered and ready to enter the spirit plane.
“You have to get used to each other, feel each other inside. Picture a white bubble. Pure white, no imperfections. It encircles you, keeps you close, keeps you connected.”
Blake did, and he found it extraordinarily easy. It was just him and Derek, no one and nothing else. He was at peace and content feeling Derek physically at his back, and comfortably in his mind. The bond flared even stronger, and Blake felt Derek’s contentment and happiness too.
Blake rather liked that feeling.
“Good,” Avery’s voice interrupted them, and Blake startled, breaking the bubble. “Well, you were quicker at that than I expected. Shall we move on?”
Blake didn’t want to. He wanted to stay there. Or maybe take Derek to bed and see exactly how amazing they could be when they went into sex feeling that close to each other. His body started to react to his thoughts, so he pulled away and stood up.
Avery gave them a knowing grin. “You’ll have plenty of time for that later. Now, the thing you have to remember is that, when you go into the spirit plane, your spirit is going to want nothing more than to get back to Derek. You have to learn to control it. Push it to the back of your consciousness and focus on the job. We’ll start with the easier task of being apart on the mortal plane. Derek? Why don’t you head down to the cafeteria and get lunch?”
Instantly Derek and Blake froze. They’d only been apart for a few hours the day before, and their reunion had been explosive. Blake’s desire to be back in Derek’s arms eventually drove him from his brother’s and back home. Derek held him tightly for long minutes upon his return.
“I know you don’t want to, but it’s necessary. You have to learn to be apart. Go on, Derek. Thirty minutes is all I’m asking.”
Derek kissed Blake soundly but then did as he was asked. Blake felt bereft the moment the door shut. He stared at it and willed Derek to turn around and come back.
“It’s hard, I know. Come sit down, Blake. I want you to focus, channel your feelings, your desire to have Derek back. Just relax and let it flow through you.”
It was harder than Blake thought it would be. He tried, but a tight ball of anxiety centered in his chest, and Blake couldn’t tell if it was coming from himself or Derek. Avery’s melodic voice washed over Blake, but he didn’t listen to the actual words. It didn’t matter. He needed to calm himself. Derek was coming back. Derek would always come back. Would always be there for him. That was never in doubt.
The door opened, and Blake sat up straight. The relief on Derek’s face was just as intense as the feeling in his own chest. Derek set a cafeteria tray on the table and strode right into Blake’s outstretched arms.
Avery gave a soft laugh. “You both did really well.”
“I could feel you wanting me,” Derek murmured with his face tucked down against Blake’s neck. “And I could feel when you got hold of it and knew I’d be back.”
“Yeah. It still sucked.”
Avery moved back a few steps. “And it always will, but that’s what you have to get used to. Controlling it. When you have a handle
on it, you’ll be able to ghostwalk without worry.” Avery stepped around them and toward the kitchen. “Let’s eat, and then we’ll practice some more.”
TWO days later they went downstairs. They’d spent all their time practicing the meditation, so it was easy for Blake to fall into a settled and centered state—a white bubble that surrounded them both. And they spent controlled time apart as Blake practiced reining in his emotions. It was time to take the next step. Blake had to go into the spirit plane and be able to move about and send his feelings to Derek without being drawn back into his body.
He was unaccountably nervous.
“I’m not worried,” Avery assured him as they joined King in an unused office at the far end of the hall. Two chairs had been brought in, and the table was piled high with supplies. “You and Derek have surpassed my expectations. Once you can do this, you’ll have no trouble. Well, you’ll get better at it every time you do it, but I have no doubt it will be successful.”
“You’re going to be fine, B. I’m right here.” Derek squeezed his hand.
The mission was simple enough because they weren’t actually going to help a lost soul. King was going to send them both to the spirit plane so Blake could experience things with Avery right there to guide him. By all accounts Blake should be able to move as normal and let Derek know how he was feeling without it impeding his abilities. Seemed easy enough in theory.
Though nerves rattled in his stomach, he took off his shirt and handed it over. Derek took the shirt and settled in the chair beside Blake. Blake drew a shaky breath, but Derek was there, in his space, breathing with him. Blake slipped into his meditative state and the white bubble surrounded them. Blake relaxed.
The swords were at the ready, and Blake almost didn’t notice when Derek gave the signal. A piercing pain, a struggle to breathe, and then he was gone.
He found himself standing right next to the chair, close to Derek, as Derek gently wiped the blood from Blake’s dead body. That was freaking weird, seeing himself and watching the care and affection on Derek’s face while he tended to him. He could see, without a doubt, how much Derek loved him—and how much he enjoyed his job. Derek was built to take care of another person, and Blake was lucky to be the one Derek wanted.
Suddenly Derek looked up, right at the spot where Blake stood, even though he couldn’t actually see Blake.
“Yes, he can feel you.” Avery appeared beside him as Blake glanced at his own and Avery’s lifeless bodies. Then his gaze was drawn to King as he cleaned Avery’s face and chest.
He’d never seen King anchor anyone. Now he understood what Sam meant.
“Come on.” Avery took his hand and guided him out. Blake was surprised to find that they were standing in front of water. The river. How had they gotten there? He knew it was possible to lead spirits He’d done it himself. But usually he was bringing them to the light, not to an entirely different location.
Blake wanted to go back to Derek.
“Relax, Blake. You’re fine. He’s fine. Focus on the bond. Can you feel it?”
It was hard at first, because all Blake could feel was a clawing, desperate desire to get back to Derek. But he made himself calm, used the techniques Avery had taught him and… there it was, burning bright in his chest—his tether to Derek. Warm, comforting, full of love.
“Yeah. I can. He’s right there.”
“He is,” Avery encouraged. “Now send him your emotions. Follow that bond and send him a thought, a feeling. Let him know you’re here. Don’t let it pull you. Stay here with me. Good. Good.”
For a moment Blake wanted to follow that tether back to Derek and he almost did, but Avery’s hand in his, his voice, kept him there. Instead he sent a wave of affection—of pride—and a moment later, he felt it echoed back. Blake barked out a laugh.
“I can feel him. He’s so proud of me.”
Avery laughed. “As he should be. All right. Let’s keep going. Fancy a trip?” He gave a squeeze and a tug, and then suddenly they were in a graveyard, in front of a white marble headstone that read “Luke Wagner” and the dates of birth and death.
“Your Luke?” Blake didn’t need to ask, but he felt the need to say something.
Avery nodded, his gaze glued to the stone. “I’ve never been here on the spirit plane. Surprisingly, it’s easier than going in the mortal one. He crossed over without trouble. He knew, you know? He’s waiting for me when it’s my time.”
“I’m sorry you lost him too soon.” Sadness washed over Blake, and a moment later, it was echoed back, along with a hint of concern.
Avery nodded again. “Me too. He was the best thing that ever happened to me. Just as Derek is for you. May you have many more years than Luke and I did.” Avery seemed to shake himself. “Okay. Enough maudlin. You’ve done extraordinarily well. Your spirit is far from your bonded, very far, and you haven’t winked out on me. I have full confidence you’ll be able to do this on your own. Ready to go back?”
Instantly Blake was once again standing beside Derek and King and their own bodies. Blake’s heart swelled when Derek smiled and sent more love down their link.
Avery turned to Blake. “Let him know we’re ready to come back. This is harder, as it’s more a thought than a feeling. So don’t be surprised if—”
Derek suddenly sat up straight. “They’re ready, King. You can pull them back.”
“Never mind,” Avery muttered, but he sounded amused.
King stood and walked to Blake’s body. He gripped the hilt of the sword. At Derek’s nod he pulled the sword out, and Blake had barely a second to close his eyes. Then there was all-consuming nothing. A moment after that, his eyes opened, and he saw Derek’s face hovering over his. He tried for a smile, decided breathing was better, and coughed as his lungs started to work again.
The tears came next, but it wasn’t the body-shaking sobs he was used to. He felt nothing but gratitude and all-encompassing love, and he breathed and cried as Derek tended to his wounds. When he could move, he glanced over at Avery and King. Avery looked shocked, and King lifted him into his arms.
“We’re going down the hall. You can stay here. When you’re ready, we’ll debrief in my office.”
Derek nodded and cradled Blake to him.
“I want to tell you everything,” Blake croaked.
Derek grinned and kissed the tears from his cheeks. “You will. After you sleep and hydrate and your vitals are normal. I love you.”
Feeling more at peace than he could ever remember, Blake closed his eyes.
Chapter Twenty-One
BLAKE puttered around the kitchen, plating the eggs and sprinkling shredded cheese on top. He put the plates side by side on the baking sheet because he hadn’t been able to find a serving tray. Then he turned to retrieve the coffee and tea and came face-to-face with an amused looking Derek.
“Whatcha doin’, B?”
Blake scowled. “Get out of here. I’m making you breakfast in bed. And I can’t do that if you aren’t actually in bed.”
Derek’s laugh rumbled through the room, and even though Blake tried to maintain his pout, he lost it the moment Derek wrapped his arms around him and kissed his cheek. His morning whiskers scratched Blake’s jaw.
“This looks great,” Derek said as he peered down the length of Blake’s body to look at the plates.
“It’s scrambled eggs,” Blake scoffed. “Nothing much. But I wanted to take care of you for a change.”
“Aw, B. You always take care of me. Letting me do my thing and take care of you is taking care of me.”
“I’m not quite sure that’s how it works, but as long as you’re happy….”
“I am,” Derek assured him. “I very much am.”
Blake sighed and contentment coursed through him. “Good. Now, do you want to go back to bed with breakfast, or just eat it here?”
“Here’s fine.” Derek kissed him again, longer that time, and lingered on his skin. Blake tilted his head to the side to let Derek have a
ll the access he wanted. Then Derek pulled back. “Take this to the table. I’ll get the juice and toast, and we’re all set.”
Blake carried his makeshift tray to the table and watched as Derek retrieved the plate of buttered sourdough toast and two small glasses. Blake grabbed the forks and sat down just as Derek stepped up to the table. When he sat down, Derek immediately slid his legs out to tangle with Blake’s.
“This is better than breakfast in bed.”
“How do you figure?” Blake took a bite of eggs. Not too bad, considering he’d been living off Derek’s cooking for weeks.
“No crumbs in the sheets.” Derek grinned. “And I love having you in my kitchen. Heart of the home and all that.”
Blake smiled and leaned forward to get a juice-flavored kiss. For a few minutes, they ate in silence, replenishing after their night of vigorous activity. Blake’s body warmed. All their nights had been like that since they sealed their bond.
Derek cleared his throat, and Blake looked up, thinking Derek knew what he’d been thinking about. But Derek’s gaze was fixed on the far wall as he pushed his eggs around on his plate with his fork.
“Derek?”
Derek shook himself and gave Blake a small smile. “Well, we need to talk about, you know, living arrangements. You haven’t been back to your house in more than a week, and we can’t keep—” He sighed. “I don’t want to keep living apart. So, yeah.”
Blake grinned. He hadn’t thought much about it. He’d been too wrapped up in his connection to Derek to think much about the outside world. Well, other than training with Avery, but Avery had gone back to New Jersey and his own home.
“Well, I love your house,” Blake began thoughtfully, sliding his foot up Derek’s calf. “But I’m pretty sure that’s because it’s yours. We could be anywhere. And since you’re renting, and I own my condo, it just makes sense that you move in with me, right? Can you give up your lease?”
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