Kobi- Memoirs of a Mustang

by Heather Hamel

  “Just one more class,” Daisy said. “I need you to hold it together for one more class.”

  What Daisy didn’t tell me is that we had to wait over an hour for it. That I couldn’t do. I started getting antsy and dancing with impatience. Daisy wasn’t paying attention. I wanted a break. I needed a break. I’m not proud of what I did next, but Daisy needed to understand that it was time to go home. I reared. Now it wasn’t a full on, rest on my hocks, pawing at the sky with my front hooves, wild mustang kind of rear. It was more of a jump, only instead of all four hooves coming off of the ground, it was just the front two. It was more of a mini-rear, actually.

  That got her attention, but not in the way I expected. I figured Daisy would understand it was time to go home, dismount, and lead me back to my stall. Wrong! Daisy figured I was bored and started spinning me in circles. That was almost the opposite of what I wanted to do. It got my attention, though, and I quit thinking about how miserable I was just waiting for our next class to start. Before I knew what was happening, we were lined up ready to go in the arena for our final class.

  I was over being good. I was over letting Daisy just sit up there on my back, while I had to remember our patterns. So I pretended that I forgot everything. When I was to stop at a cone, I overstepped and then threw my head in the air when Daisy corrected me. When I was supposed to jog, I started a few steps after we were supposed to, and walked a few steps before I was asked to go back down to a walk. I was obnoxious and it worked. Afterwards, Daisy took me back to the barn, untacked me, and I walked right onto the trailer, ready to go home. Finally.

  *****

  I was never so glad to be heading home. It had been one of the longest, hottest, sweatiest days of my life. As soon as the trailer stopped outside of the gate, I recognized the tinkling sound of the chain being unlatched; I took in a deep breath. I was home.

  I caught Jake’s scent, his own combination of sweaty musk and the sickness in his hoof.

  “Jake! Jake, I’m home!” I yelled from the trailer.

  “Kobi? Is that you?” Jake rumbled. “I’ve missed you.”

  Even with that mare for company, Jake still missed me. What a great friend.

  CHAPTER 13 — JAKE’S INCIDENT

  Jake’s mind started playing tricks on him. One night it was really bad. Daisy and Rex came out to put us up in our stalls for the night. Everything was normal. Bedtime went like it had every single night since we moved here. Daisy had given us our snack and was filling our water buckets, while Rex was tossing us enough hay to keep us content for a few hours.

  “Should I put some powder on Jake’s hoof?” Daisy asked.

  “It can’t hurt,” Rex answered.

  Daisy went into Jake’s stall, like she had done hundreds of times before, and squatted down by his hooves to poof the powder on them like she had done hundreds of times before. All of a sudden, Jake was terrified. I could tell from the whites showing around his eyes that he didn’t know where he was or that Daisy was still squatting almost underneath him, doctoring his hooves. All Jake knew at that moment in time was that something was under him, and he was spooked.

  With my mouth full of hay, there was nothing I could do to stop Jake or warn Daisy. I just watched, helpless, as Jake acted as any horse would do with something unknown under their belly. He kicked at it.

  In his panic, Jake wasn’t able to aim his first kick correctly, which was a good thing for Daisy. Instead of his hoof connecting with the side of Daisy’s head, he only knocked her with the top of his foot, knocking her off balance.

  Rex heard the commotion and ran back into the barn. Cuzzin tried to get in the stall to protect Daisy, but Rex was there to pull him back from joining the melee. Unable to do anything to stop Jake from kicking again, or get Daisy out from under Jake’s massive hooves, the three of us just watched as Daisy’s self protective instincts kicked in.

  Knocked off balance by the kick to her head, Daisy rolled over onto her hands and knees to scramble out from under the massive force of Jake’s hooves. He managed to kick her one more time in her knee, spinning her onto her back. She immediately flipped back over and crawled backwards the rest of the way to safety, to the back of Jake’s stall.

  With Jake’s immediate danger gone, and no more threat under his belly, Jake stopped kicking. I think he realized what had just happened. It wasn’t something that was going to kill him or even hurt him. He had just attacked Daisy.

  The far, darkened corner of Jake’s stall was quiet. What had happened to Daisy?

  “What’s going on in there? Talk to me, Daisy.”

  Please start talking. Jake didn’t mean to hurt you. Get up and be okay.

  “I’m fine. Don’t talk to me for a minute. I need to see what’s hurt.”

  I’m sure Daisy was only quiet for a few seconds, but it seemed like an eternity until she spoke again.

  “My knee hurts really bad, but I can move it, so it’s probably not broken. My head hurts, too, but nowhere near as bad as my knee.”

  “Just stay down. I’ll come and help you up.”

  “Give me a minute to catch my breath first.”

  Always thinking of Jake and me before thinking about herself, Daisy asked, “Can you finish powdering Jake’s hoof first? Just let him know what you are doing before you get down there so he doesn’t get scared again.”

  When Rex was finished powdering Jake’s hoof, he went back in to the stall to help Daisy to her feet. “What happened?” She asked, when she was standing up again. “I heard you yell at Cuzzin. Did he come in here and scare Jake?”

  “No, it was you. Jake got scared with you being under him, and started kicking.”

  Holding on to the walls of the stall, Daisy slowly made her way out of Jake’s stall.

  “I’ll close up Jake’s stall, if you’ll finish giving Kobi his hay,” Daisy offered.

  She turned around, holding onto the wall for support. As she clipped the chain together, closing up Jake’s stall, she started weaving on her feet.

  Rex, get in here. Daisy’s going down!

  I watched her fall in slow motion. As she was slipping down, she slammed her head against the thick wooden post outside of Jake’s stall. Somehow she managed to catch her arm around another board, slowing down her descent. Rex saw what was going on and rushed over to her. He managed to get behind her so she didn’t fall all the way to the ground, and hurt herself even more. He gently helped her sit down on the ground.

  “I’m fine.”

  “No, you’re not. You just passed out.”

  “Seriously, my head’s okay. My knee really hurts, though.”

  Rex lifted up Daisy’s pants leg, exposing her bloody knee.

  “That’s why. Jake banged you up pretty bad. We need to get you in the house to clean up your knee, and look at your head. You may need to go to the hospital.”

  Catching the metallic scent of Daisy’s blood, Jake started blowing. He hadn’t said a word since the incident happened, but knowing Jake’s abusive history, I’m sure he was afraid that harsh hands would be beating him next. He still hadn’t learned Daisy and Rex would never lift a hand in anger towards us.

  “Before I get up, go pet Jake. Let him know everything’s alright.”

  Rex went over to Jake, talking gently to him and rubbing his head. “It’s okay, big guy. Everything’s fine.”

  That seemed to calm Jake. He stopped blowing, went back to his hay, and starting eating.

  Turning back to Daisy, Rex said, “Let’s get you inside and away from the mosquitoes.”

  After things had quieted down and Daisy was safely in the house, Jake finally spoke. “Kobi? Do you think she’s going to be okay?”

  “Daisy’s tough. I’m sure she’ll be fine. What happened though?”

  “I don’t know. I got confused. I didn’t know where I was. I thought something was about to attack my belly, and I needed to protect myself. So I started kicking. I never would have done it if I would have known it was Daisy. R
eally! You’ve got to believe me, Kobi. I never would hurt her on purpose.”

  “I know that.”

  “Do you think they know that? Do Daisy and Rex know I wouldn’t hurt them on purpose?”

  “They know. Don’t worry about it. Daisy will be fine.”

  Even as I said those words, I wasn’t too sure. She had taken a bad beating under Jake’s massive hooves.

  Breakfast was late the next morning. The sun was already up with no sign of anyone up in the house. Usually I would be a little more patient, but after last night’s incident, I was worried about Daisy. I saw a light come on in the bathroom.

  “Daisy, is that you? Are you up? Are you okay?” I yelled.

  Cuzzin started barking from inside the house. Stupid dog.

  “Shh! I’ll be out there in a minute.” Daisy said.

  I quieted down. I heard Daisy’s voice. She was okay. Everything was going to be fine.

  *****

  It turned out everything wasn’t fine. While Daisy was on the mend, Jake was getting worse. He couldn’t come out of the back yard to graze anymore. His feet hurt worse than ever. The air surrounding him reeked of sickness. Jake spent much more time lying down. When he could stand up to graze, he would stretch his neck out as far as he could reach, nibbling grass, before moving his feet forward. I realized that soon Jake wouldn’t be able to stand up anymore. It made me sad.

  I wasn’t the only one. Rex and Daisy were worried about Jake, too.

  At bedtime, I would come trotting up. I loved going into my stall at night. There was nothing to worry about. Predators couldn’t come in and Daisy always made sure we had a snack and enough hay to last almost until morning. It was the perfect way to end every day grazing in the sunshine.

  Poor Jake, though. At bedtime, he would start coming in: leaning back on his haunches, then throwing himself forward - projecting his front feet forward. It was a painful and time consuming process for everyone, horse and human alike. Rex and Daisy never gave up on Jake, though. While Rex was in charge of making sure Jake and I had enough hay, Daisy would be out with Jake, encouraging him to move forward with his favorite treat, Cheerios. She’d give him a handful of it and then walk backwards a few steps to persuade Jake to follow her for another mouthful. It took some time to get him in, but it was effective.

  “Kobi,” Jake said one night, after an especially long, hot day. “I’m tired.”

  “I know,” I said, chewing on my hay. “You laid down a lot today.”

  “My feet hurt all the time now. Not even the medicine Daisy puts in my food helps anymore. I’d lie down all the time if I didn’t get so hungry. I don’t know what to do.”

  “I don’t either. I bet Daisy and Rex aren’t out of ideas yet. Let’s see what they have for you tomorrow.”

  I’m not sure when Daisy started understanding what Jake and I were saying to each other, but the next day the vet came out to see Jake.

  I’m always protective of Jake when the vet comes out. I don’t like to see my large friend in pain. Daisy put me in my stall so I couldn’t interfere. Jake was already standing next to my stall wall, so I was still able to see and hear everything that was happening.

  “We can’t do anything more for him,” the vet said.

  What? Why not? There’s got to be something you haven’t tried yet.

  “You guys have done a great job with him. You’ve done all that you could. Jake just has too many things going against him now, between the canker in his left foot, the founder in his right, not to mention the possibility of Cushing’s disease. You’ve kept him around six months longer that I believed possible. You gave him your best and he’s had a great run. Since the pain meds aren’t keeping him comfortable anymore, I recommend you put him down.”

  Daisy sobbed and nodded. Hearing her heart break almost broke mine. She put her arms around Jake’s neck and cried. Since she was whispering into Jake’s thick mane, I couldn’t hear everything she told him, but I caught the end.

  “I’m so sorry, Jake. I did everything I could. Now you won’t hurt anymore.”

  As Daisy moved away, Jake moved his nose over to touch mine.

  “Jake, you’re going to be okay. Daisy will think of something.”

  “Not this time. I don’t want Daisy to try anything else. I’m tired. My feet hurt. I can barely walk anymore. It’s time, my friend. Take care of Daisy and Rex for me. They are good humans.”

  I couldn’t stand to hear Jake talk like that…like he was giving up. So I did the only thing I knew to do, I nipped at his mouth; to get him quiet, and to let him know I cared for him.

  Daisy grabbed the bright yellow box of treats that Jake loves so much, and with the group of humans following, led Jake to the front pasture. As he limped away, I knew I was seeing Jake’s massive hindquarters move away from me for the last time.

  “Jake!”

  He didn’t answer me.

  I saw the horse trailer pull through the front gate and knew it was coming for me. I heard Wendy telling Daisy she felt it would be best if I went to her place for a bit. I didn’t want to go, but knew I didn’t have a choice in the matter either.

  One of the girls from Wendy’s barn hopped out of the truck and headed straight to my stall. Everyone else was still surrounding Jake. She grabbed my halter from the hook next to my stall, haltered me up, and led me to the waiting trailer. She took me the long way, all the way around the house, far from where Jake and the others were standing. I took one last look before I walked onto the trailer. I saw Rex with his arm around Daisy, her shoulders shaking from sobbing, and Jake looking up as he finished the last bite of his favorite treat.

  I turned back and walked onto the trailer.

  Goodbye, Jake. You were the best friend and brother a horse could ever ask for.

  CHAPTER 14: NEW BEGINNINGS

  When I backed out of the trailer, I found myself back at Wendy’s barn. The short trip gave me time to work myself up into a snit. I was mad. I know Daisy wanted me at Wendy’s so I could be with other horses, but I didn’t want to be here. I wanted to be back at home. With Jake. With Daisy. With Rex. They are my family, the ones who needed me now, not Wendy.

  I was put in a stall and left alone. I paced and wondered what was going to happen next. Before it was dinner time, Daisy came to see me. I knew she was upset and had been crying, her eyes were blood red and so puffy I don’t know how she could see out of them. I walked up and nuzzled her. I wanted her to know I was still here. I still loved her.

  She scratched my ears. “Oh, Kobi,” she cried, “What in the world are we going to do now?”

  I didn’t have any idea what she was talking about. I knew Jake was not going to be home when I got there, and I would never see my brother again, so that was probably what Daisy meant. What I didn’t understand was why this was different than any other time we spent together? Daisy and I always did what came naturally to us and enjoyed ourselves.

  Why should now be any different?

  I found out soon enough Daisy wasn’t there to take me back home. She came to see me several times a day, though. She fed me breakfast, came later to ride, then again to feed me dinner, and sometimes even came once it was dark just to scratch my ears and talk to me. It reminded me of those times in prison with Wade when he scratched my ears and just talked to me.

  I’ll admit this now, but when I was spending time at Wendy’s barn, I was not a nice horse. Oh, I still behaved great for Daisy and loved her every time she came out. I was even half-way decent for Wendy. When it came to other horses, though, let’s just say I was a complete jerk. I didn’t want to be there. I didn’t want to spend time with any other horse but Jake. They just didn’t get it. Each time Wendy would put a different horse out to pasture with me, I would see just how long it would take until Wendy took them away. Usually it was just a few minutes until I had either kicked or bit the other horse bloody and into submission. Then Wendy would come running, yell at me, and remove the other horse. If I couldn’t be wi
th Jake, I wanted to be alone.

  Unfortunately for me, Daisy didn’t want me to be alone. One evening when Wendy was walking past my stall, I heard her tell Daisy, “I don’t know what to do. He attacks every horse we put with him. I don’t know what other horse to try with him.”

  “Oh, Kobi,” Daisy sighed. “You have to give someone a chance. It’s not good for you to be alone. It’s not good for me if you are alone either; I’d worry about you all the time. Please, give one of these horses a chance. I know they will never take Jake’s place. They never can. But for me, please, let one come home with us.”

  I didn’t want to. But because Daisy cried every time she came to see me, I tried. They decided a mare might be the best match for me during this rough time. So as I loaded back up on the trailer to go home, I looked over and saw that a small, dappled brown Morgan mare called Kya was loaded on beside me.

  Oh, great, a mare. The things I put up with for Daisy.

  It was strange pulling up the driveway and not hearing Jake’s rumble to welcome me home. I knew why he wasn’t there and was trying my best to accept it, but it was tough. I was glad to see Rex come out to greet us. It was nice to know some things were still the same.

  I was also happy when I saw Daisy was keeping Kya in a different pasture. She didn’t seem too bad, but after the crazy experiences I’ve had with mares, like Loco and Malevolent, and after just losing my best friend, I wasn’t in the mood to deal with another mare. Besides, she was a talker. I never got a moment of quiet to be with my own thoughts.

  “Kobi? Where are you?” Kya hollered.

  “I’m up front.”

  A few minutes later, I’d hear the same question.

  “Kobi? Where are you?”

  “Over here.”

  This went on every few minutes, for hours. I was trying to be nice. I had promised Daisy I would give another horse a chance, but after a while I couldn’t take it anymore.