Crazy Stupid Perfection (Crazy Love, #3)

by Melissa Toppen

  “I take it you disagree with her?” I chime in, just wanting to be a part of the conversation.

  “What you have to understand about Angel is, until Kimber met Decklan she had no interest in having a constant man in her life. But since all of this—" she gestures to Kimber and herself before pointing towards the guys who are huddled at the edge of the bar laughing—“I think she feels like she needs someone to fit in now.”

  “Maybe she just sees what you two have found and wants to find that for herself.”

  “And that’s great.” Harlee continues. “But that doesn’t mean she has to claim she’s found the one with every Tom, Dick and Harry she meets. Hell, just two weeks ago she had staked her claim on Paxton. Had he not turned her down flat I dare say he’d be the man she’s claiming to love.”

  I bite my tongue and ignore the ping of jealousy that bounces through me. Angel came on to Paxton? Paxton turned her down? I find comfort in knowing that even though he didn’t tell me this little interaction took place, at least he didn’t act on anything. That has to mean something right?

  “I think it’s brave.” Kimber speaks up. “She’s willing to put herself out there in a way neither of us ever were.”

  “I guess.” Harlee lets out a deep exhale. “I just don’t wanna see her get hurt.”

  “Angel’s a big girl. If there is anyone that can take care of herself, it’s her. I think you have more to worry about with that one.” She gestures toward Gavin. “No offense.” She turns to me on a giggle.

  “No, none taken.” I hold up my hands. “I know my brother.”

  “On that topic, how is everything?” She turns her attention back to Harlee.

  “H.O.T.” She fans herself.

  “And on that note, I’m gonna head to the ladies.” I quickly stand, having no desire to hear about Harlee and Gavin’s H.O.T. relationship.

  “Hey, where are you going?” Gavin catches me just as I pass the bar.

  “Ladies.” I raise my voice over the noise, cocking my head toward the bathroom.

  “You need anything?” He asks, nodding to Val who sets two drinks on the bar in front of him.

  “No, I’m good. I’ll grab something on my way back through.” I catch Paxton’s eyes for a brief moment as I turn and it takes everything in me to look away and not hold his stare.

  I duck into the bathroom the moment I reach it. I don’t actually need to use the bathroom; I just wanted to give Harlee and Kimber a few minutes to catch up. I know they don’t mind having me around, but like most times when I accompany this group of friends out, I feel like the outsider.

  Honestly, the only reason I even came tonight was because I wanted to see Paxton. It’s been nearly five days since I’ve made the trip up to Portland. One, because I spent two days car shopping, spending almost every dime of my savings so that I wouldn’t have to borrow my mom’s car anymore. And two, because school is taking up a lot more of my time than I was really expecting it to.

  Unfortunately he’s been super busy as well, which hasn’t helped our situation. He made on offer on the building he’s hoping to buy for his music store and it was finally accepted a couple of days ago so now he’s trying to get all that squared away.

  Needless to say it’s been hard. I hate sneaking around and having to hide. I finally have the man I’ve always wanted and I can’t tell a damn soul about it. Well, other than my mom of course. But let’s be real, who really wants to discuss thinks like sex with their mother? Not me.

  Stepping in front of the mirror, I pull the hair band off my wrist and tie my long, thick hair up in a messy bun. Letting out a deep sigh, I stare at my reflection for several long seconds, counting the small freckles that line the bridge of my nose. I don’t know why I don’t want to go back out there but I just don’t have it in me tonight to fake it. It’s so hard to plaster on a smile and act a certain way when all I want to do is leave with Paxton.

  Finally exiting the bathroom just moments later, I stop just at the edge of the hall that opens up into the bar and look over at the table in the far corner of the room where everyone is gathered. Kimber and Harlee are sitting so close they are practically touching, whispering back and forth to each other while the guys laugh and cut up just a couple of feet from them.

  I watch the group interaction; the two girls who are super close and the three guys who are practically brothers. I can’t help but wonder if I will ever truly fit in. Will I ever be anything more than Gavin’s little sister? Paxton’s girlfriend maybe?

  Paxton’s girlfriend... It has a nice ring to it. And while I’m completely aware that it’s better to keep this hush hush for now, I also can’t help but long for the day when I can be the woman standing openly by his side.

  Deciding to give them some time, I weave in and out of the crowded bar toward the front, pushing my way outside the moment I reach the door. There’s an amazing little bakery/coffee shop that sits directly across the street from Deviants that doesn’t close for another hour, and considering I haven’t eaten anything since lunch, I decide to head over there to grab a little something to eat.

  The moment I step inside the smell of fresh baked cookies and rich coffee engulfs me. I take a deep inhale, my stomach growling right on cue. The small shop is completely empty with the exception of two teenaged girls huddled in the corner sipping iced coffees and chatting back and forth excitedly.

  Turning my attention to the older woman behind the register, I quickly cross the space toward her, taking in the full display of baked items that fill every shelf of the long glass counter.

  Settling on a banana nut muffin and cinnamon latte, as soon as I have my items I take a seat at a small square table next to the window which offers a perfect view of the front of Deviants. Pulling my cell out of my pocket, it buzzes to life the second it’s in my hand, startling me.

  Paxton: Where are you?

  Me: I decided to grab a little something to eat.

  Paxton: You left?

  Me: I just went across the street. I’ll be back in a little bit.

  I pick at my food while I wait for his reply but after a couple of minutes I decide he’s probably not going to text me back. Once I’ve eaten most of my muffin, I grab my coffee and lean back in my chair, crossing my legs as I look out the window and watch the people passing by.

  Seconds later the bakery door chimes and I turn my attention toward the entrance, immediately locking eyes with Paxton who gives me a crooked smile and crosses the space toward me.

  “What are you doing here?” I wait until he takes the seat across from me before speaking.

  “I haven’t fucking seen you in almost a week and now you’re finally here and you sneak off without me?” He scrunches his nose before snagging my coffee out of my hand and taking a long swig.

  “Why yes you can have some. Thank you for asking.” I fake annoyance.

  “Shut the fuck up.” He winks, sliding the cup back into my hand.

  “How’d you get away?” I glance out the window, curious as to how I didn’t see him cross the street.

  “I just left.” He shrugs.

  “You just left?”

  “Nah. I told Gavin I’d find you. He was wondering where the hell you went.”

  “Why didn’t you just tell him I was over here?”

  “Because then I wouldn’t have been able to come find you.” He leans forward, resting his elbows on the table in front of me.

  “I see.” I set my cup to the side and mirror his actions, the table so small that our faces are just a few inches apart. “And what will you do now that you’ve found me?”

  “I can think of a lot of things I’d like to do.” He drops his voice to a whisper causing goose bumps to erupt across my skin.

  “Is that so?” I whisper back, enjoying this little game we’re playing.

  “It is.” He confirms, his tongue darting across his bottom lip.

  “Care to enlighten me?”

  “I can’t tell you. I’d have to sho
w you.” He raises his eyebrows up and down suggestively.

  “Then show me.” I challenge.

  “There you are.” The sound of Harlee’s voice startles me and I jump, glancing up just in time to see her stop directly next to the table.

  “I tracked her down.” Paxton leans back in his chair, trying his best to play it off like whatever we were huddled together talking about was completely innocent.

  “Kimber wanted a coffee before they closed.” She gestures toward the counter. “Jet lag.” She adds, her face not giving anything away.

  If she picked up on something going on between me and Paxton, she sure as hell isn’t letting it show.

  “Okay, well I’m gonna head back over.” Paxton stands. “You two can walk back over together. I think Charlie was about finished.” He gestures to my coffee.

  “Yeah. I’ll be done in minute.”

  “Okay, cool. I’m gonna go order then.” Harlee spins, heading over to the counter.

  “See you back at the bar.” Paxton gives me a playful wink before quickly exiting, leaving me sitting at the table alone, freaking out over what Harlee may or may not have seen or heard.

  Sucking down the rest of my coffee, I stand, crossing toward the counter to drop my cup in the trash. Harlee appears next me seconds later with Kimber’s coffee in her hand.

  “You ready?” She asks, heading toward the door when I nod.

  I follow her to the curb and then stop, waiting for the opportunity to cross the street. Harlee seems completely at ease next to me and just when I think maybe she didn’t actually witness the interaction between me and Paxton, my worst fear is confirmed.

  “You’re gonna have to tell him ya know.” Harlee turns toward me, a soft understanding in her eyes.

  “I’m sorry?” I play stupid, not really sure what else to do.

  “You and Paxton.” She confirms. “You will have to tell Gavin eventually.”

  “I—I don’t know what you’re talking about. Paxton is like a brother to me.” I stutter out, my stomach twisting nervously.

  “Where I come from, you don’t look at a man you see as a brother like you were just looking at Paxton and vice versa.” She shakes her head. “Look, I’m not judging. In fact, I get it. Paxton is, well, hot as hell if I’m being frank.” She giggles. “And the way he looks at you... Yeah, I get it.”

  “I think you’ve got the wrong impression.”

  Deny. Deny. Deny. It’s all I can think to do.

  “Do I?” She cocks her head to the side and studies my face. “I think we both know the truth here Charlie. If it makes you feel better to deny it, then that’s your business. And I’m not going to say anything to Gavin either. Again, your business. But I will urge you, as a friend, to tell him before he finds out another way. I think it would go over a lot better coming from you than having him walk in on something like I just witnessed between the two of you.” She smiles, looking both ways to ensure the coast is clear before crossing the street without another word.

  I follow her numbly, my heart clamoring inside my chest. I don’t make another attempt to correct her or dispute what she thinks she knows. At this point I feel like it would just be insulting. So I keep my mouth shut and slap a smile on my face as we enter Deviants.

  Paxton throws me a questioning glance the moment we rejoin the group. Not wanting to show any signs of panic, I simply smile and take the seat next to Kimber.

  Doing my best to join the conversation, I spend the rest of the night drinking cosmos with the girls and doing everything in my power to avoid Paxton’s gaze. Not that I don’t want to look at him, of course I do, I just think that we need to be a hell of a lot more careful. Harlee’s right, what if it had been Gavin that walked into the bakery?

  Kimber and Decklan are the first to call it a night. Poor Kimber battled all night not to fall asleep face down on the table. Paxton left next, to my surprise barely even throwing me a glance as he said goodbye.

  I’m not sure if my behavior tonight pissed him off or if he simply wanted to leave before me as to not raise suspicion, since the plan’s for me to go back to his place directly after here. Either way it leaves an unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach.

  I move to excuse myself shortly after Paxton leaves, having no desire to hang around with the two remaining people who can’t keep their hands off each other.

  I know before he even says a word that Gavin is going to dispute me driving home at such a late hour after drinking and I’m already prepared when his objection comes.

  “You’re coming home with me and Harlee.” The statement leaves his mouth not seconds after my feet hit the floor.

  “No. I’m going home.” I slide my cell into my pocket.

  “Char. That’s not a good idea.” He gives me the disapproving brotherly look that I’ve seen countless times over my life.

  “I had two cosmos over the course of four hours, I think I’m good. Besides, you’re not my father and I’m an adult, so there.” I cross my arms in front of my chest, daring him to challenge me.

  “I don’t like it.” He shakes his head.

  “You don’t have to.” I say mockingly. “I’ll talk to you later.” I drop my arms, giving him a brief hug before throwing a wave to Harlee and quickly exiting through the back entrance of the bar.

  I know before I even reach my car that Paxton is waiting for me. I can feel it in the way my body seems to come alive whenever he’s near.

  The moment I spot him leaning casually against my car, I quicken my steps, practically launching myself into his arms. It’s careless and I know I shouldn’t, but avoiding him tonight has been like torture and all I want to feel is his body pressed against mine.

  “Fuck I missed you.” He drops his face into the crook of my neck, inhaling deeply.

  “I was right in front of you.” I pull back slightly, meeting his gaze.

  “It’s not the same and you know it.” He presses a soft kiss to my mouth before pulling back. “Now let’s get the fuck out of here so I can stop acting like I don’t want to strip you bare and fuck the hell out of you.” He smiles, crossing around to the small black sports car sitting next to mine.

  I open my mouth to respond to his statement but before I can form any words, he gives me a knowing smirk and then speaks again.

  “Nice car by the way.” He nods to my new silver Civic.

  “How did you even know it was mine?” I question, just now realizing he was waiting at my car even though I had yet to show it to him.

  “It was the only Civic in the lot. I took a guess.” He shrugs, throwing me a playful smile before sliding into the driver’s seat of his own car.

  “Good guess.” I say to myself, watching him fire the engine to life and drive away, before climbing into my own car and setting off after him.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Paxton

  “Can I ask you something?” Charlie props up on her elbow next to me, her fingers dancing gently across my bare chest.

  “Anything.”

  “What happened with you and Angel?” Her cheeks instantly flush pink and she looks down at her hand, avoiding my gaze.

  “What do you mean?” I ask, genuinely confused.

  “Harlee said something about Angel making a pass at you. I’m assuming it happened in Vegas.”

  “Oh that.” I chuckle, pulling her gaze back to me. “That was nothing.”

  “Another girl coming on to you is not nothing.” She narrows her eyes at me, her tone clipped.

  “Are you jealous?” I raise an eyebrow in question, my voice laced with humor.

  “No.” She shakes her head adamantly.

  “Yes you are.” I laugh, rolling to my side to face her. I secure my arm around the small of her back to make sure she can’t roll away from me.

  “You’re stupid.” She lets out a deep sigh, faking annoyance.

  “And you’re an awful liar Charlie Porter.” I grin, kissing the tip of her nose.

  “Fine.” She
huffs. “I’m jealous okay. I mean, Angel is, well she’s gorgeous. I couldn’t blame you for being tempted by someone like her.”

  “I wasn’t tempted.” I reassure her.

  “Uh huh.” She rolls her eyes playfully.

  “I’m serious.” All the playfulness is gone from my voice. “I wasn’t. Not even for one fucking second. Why would I be?”

  “Because she’s beautiful.” She says it like it should have been a no brainer.

  “And?” I scrunch my forehead in confusion.

  “And you’re a guy.”

  “So just because I’m a guy that makes me incapable of turning down a beautiful woman?”

  “So you admit it; you think she’s beautiful.”

  I can tell she’s trying really hard not to let on how much this really bothers her but I can see right through the facade.

  “Of course she is. I’m not blind.” I admit truthfully. “But she’s not you Char. And you’re all I want.” I lean forward, laying a light kiss to her mouth. “No one Charlie. No one compares to you.”

  “You really know how to sweet talk your way out of a conversation.” She giggles against my lips.

  “I’m not sweet talking.” I pull back slightly. “It’s the truth.”

  “Sorry I got all jealous girlfriend on your there for a minute.” She avoids my gaze like she’s ashamed.

  “Say it again.” I pull her face back up to mine.

  “Say what?” She asks, confused.

  “The part where you called yourself my girlfriend.”

  “Oh, no, god I’m sorry. I was just saying I was acting like a jealous girlfriend. I wasn’t trying to imply that I am your girlfriend.” She stumbles through her words, causing my smile to spread wider and wider as she goes.

  “Char.” I cut her off when she moves to say more. “I wanted you to say it again because I liked it. I don’t care what label you put on it. Girlfriend, lover, partner; it’s all the same to me. You’re mine, no matter how you spin it. But it felt good hearing you refer to yourself as that.”

  “Is this your weird way of asking me to be your girlfriend?” She pulls her face back slightly and hits me with an amused smirk.