Plotting Mr. Perfect

by S. E. Babin

  Mel gestured for them to sit. She checked her watch and blew an errant curl out of her eyes. “Twenty minutes until I get out of here. What’s so important it couldn’t wait?”

  Katie shrugged. “Lots of stuff, but we can talk about it later. I’m curious about Leo.” She looked at Leo, still silent.

  Mel grinned. “Oh! This whole investment banker business worked out well for me. What are the odds he’d be the one thinking about investing in this research?”

  Leo shrugged and gave Katie a small smile. She gave him the stink-eye. Something smelled about this. Looking back at Mel, she plastered a happy smile on her face. “Awesome! So you have the money you need now to go forward on whatever it is you’re doing here?” Katie waved her hand at the stark white lab.

  Mel nodded, the relief palpable on her face. “I will soon. Everyone else thinks this is a joke.” Her nose wrinkled. “I guess I can understand why because there’s never been too much serious talk about marijuana. But cannabis is showing such promise.” Her eyes sparkled.

  Katie knew she was about to geek out in a huge way. Mel got up from her seat and stood by the window, looking into the lab. “Katie, honestly. There could be a cure for cancer in here. I just need to unlock it.”

  Leo cleared his throat. “I’m willing to throw in four million dollars for Mel’s research.”

  Katie turned a startled glance in Leo’s direction. “I’m not even sure I want to know where that money is coming from.”

  Leo grinned. “Don’t worry. The List required me to be financially stable before I could be created.”

  Katie snorted. “I’d say being able to hand out four million like candy is a little more than stable. You’re veering dangerously into filthy rich territory.”

  Mel turned back to them. “Katie, Leo will singlehandedly fund my research for the next three years. I can never thank you enough, Leo.”

  Leo’s eyes softened. “My pleasure,” he murmured.

  Mel’s eyes watered and she laughed shakily. “Who knew I’d ever be so choked up about weed?” She brushed an escaping tear away and bent down to grab her purse. “It’s close enough to quitting time. Let’s get out of here.”

  They followed her out of the building and stopped at Katie’s car. “Are we heading out for pizza? I’m parked over there, so if we leave my car here you have to promise to get me in at a reasonable hour.”

  Katie nodded. “Promise. I’ll have you back safely to your car by ten p.m.”

  Mel walked around to the passenger side of the car. “Ten p.m. No later!” She waggled her finger and opened the door to climb in. “Oh, and Leo?” She popped her head back up over the roof of the car. “Thanks again!” She gifted him with a brilliant smile and climbed in.

  Leo grinned even though Mel couldn’t see it. Katie leaned over close to him. “You and I will talk about this later. I’m too suspicious not to think something is up.”

  Leo cringed. “I will await you at your house.”

  Katie opened her door and climbed in. “I’ll be home later.” Leo shut the door after her and tapped on the roof. She waved and pulled out of the parking lot as Mel fiddled with the radio.

  “I got fired today.”

  Mel’s hand slipped on the volume knob and the strains of Toxic reverberated throughout the car.

  “What?” Mel screeched as she fumbled with the radio. Instead, she cranked the volume up—Britney’s voice booming and the little car shaking.

  The car screeched to a stop at the red light and Katie gently moved Mel’s hands away. Once the volume was down and the ringing in her ears had stopped, Katie spoke. “Sort of. I sort of got fired today.”

  Mel scratched her head. “How do you ‘sort of’ get fired? Katie, you’re in a world of weird all by yourself.”

  “Tell me about it. Let’s talk about it over a glass of root beer. We’re almost there.” Mel reached for the radio again, but Katie stopped her. “No Britney. You have the musical tastes of a pimpled fourteen-year-old.”

  Mel pouted, but let Katie take control. A song by Jack Johnson filtered through the speakers and Katie smiled. “This is what music really is.”

  “This is crap,” Mel said. “You can’t even twerk to this.”

  Katie laughed out loud for the first time that day. “White people aren’t meant to twerk. You could throw out your hip that way. We’re meant to stick out our thumb and jerk, ala Elaine style.”

  “Says you. Maybe you mean writers named Katie aren’t meant to twerk, cuz guuurl, I be twerking all the time up in da club.” Mel raised her hands in the air and moved her hips around. Katie reached over to smack her but Mel dodged and kept dancing while laughing hysterically.

  “Scientists don’t talk like gang members, Mel. You’re about to be awarded four million. You should probably be speaking like Shakespeare for that much money.”

  “Word,” Mel said. “Can you believe that your made-up soul mate is filthy freaking rich? And generous?”

  No, Katie thought. “It does seem surreal.” Katie pulled into the parking lot of Joe’s. “Let’s go get our grub on. Maybe we can get Leo to reimburse us for this. Can’t you claim it as a business expense? No one twerks without being high, so obviously you’ve been sampling the goods.”

  Mel grabbed her purse and got out of the car. “Guuurrl,” she said, snapping her fingers. “Stop running your mouth ’fore I get my posse.”

  Katie rolled her eyes and followed Mel into the restaurant.

  Chapter 10

  Almost nothing in the world smelled better than pizza. The aroma of garlic, yeasty bread and pepperoni permeated the restaurant. Even though they’d just had pizza last night, nothing was as stellar as Joe’s. A pretty brunette waitress led them over to their table and handed them red-checkered menus. They both ordered root beers and settled in to peruse the goods.

  “Want to split a pepperoni and mushroom?” Katie looked up to see Mel sipping her drink.

  “Yup,” she said after she swallowed. “As long as it’s the deep dish.”

  “Is there any other kind?”

  “Hells to the no,” Mel said. “Now, tell Auntie Mel about the pseudo-firing. Leave no detail untold.”

  Katie relaxed into the booth seat and relayed the conversation she’d had earlier with Lucinda. She ended with how much she loved the book and how much she wanted to see it on the shelves.

  Mel’s eyes glittered. “Then do it.”

  “Do what?” Katie asked, confused.

  “Publish it yourself.”

  “I-I can’t,” she said, flustered at the thought of it.

  “Au contraire, mu-fraire!” Mel waggled her finger at Katie. “Can’t or won’t?”

  Katie thought about it. Self-publishing was feasible, but she never thought she’d do it herself. “I’m not sure I want to. It won’t get on the shelves if I do that.”

  Mel shrugged. “And if you listen to Lucy, it won’t see the light of day. You have to think about what’s most important to you—money or readers.”

  Katie looked at Mel in a new light. She was shrewd and intelligent—two traits Katie already knew about…but she also knew her like the back of her hand. “Of course the readers are more important to me.”

  Mel smiled. “Well then, are you a man or are you a mouse? If you’re a man, write the damned book and get it in the hands of your readers. If you’re a mouse, sell out and write the sister saga with the unmarried bachelor sniffing after the older sister and all the secrets hidden inside of the beach house.”

  Katie’s mouth twisted. Mel made her last bestseller sound silly. “That book was an international bestseller!”

  Mel shrugged. “And it was like a hundred different books on any given day. Come on, kiddo. You know you’re better than that. Pick up the pieces of your bruised ego and turn that book out!”

  Katie thought about it. Yes, her new book might be a light read—or at least it was starting out that way—but it was different than anything she’d ever written. Mel was right
. And she knew Mel knew it by the satisfied smile on her face.

  “You sometimes need to be knocked down a step on that high staircase you’re climbing.”

  “You’re a complete jerk. You know that, right?” But she softened her words by picking up her soda and clinking her glass against Mel’s.

  “I live to serve,” Mel said. She picked up her drink, and her gaze stopped to the right of Katie. Her eyes widened and Mel looked at Katie. “Katie, don’t look, but I think your neighbor is here.”

  Katie felt herself break out into a cold sweat. “What? Shit.” A hand lifted involuntarily to smooth her hair into place and she cursed herself as she looked down and saw how disheveled she was. She normally tried to dress better. She blamed the beer. And Will. Especially Will. And Leo, too. Damn it all.

  Mel lifted an eyebrow at Katie’s sudden fussiness. “Shut up,” Katie hissed at her. “Is he looking over here?”

  Mel shook her head. “No, he’s talking to some redhead.” Her attention slid to Katie’s panicked look. “It’s like Lady and the Tramp shit going on over there.”

  Katie blinked. “Are they sharing pasta? Seriously?”

  Mel sniggered. “You are so easy.”

  Katie groaned and stifled the urge to throw something at her. “So he’s by himself, then?”

  Mel smirked. “I didn’t say that. There is most definitely a hot little redhead sitting in the booth with him. I see a long, lean leg sticking out of the booth and a headful of crazy hair.”

  It took every ounce of willpower Katie possessed not to crank her head around like she was possessed. She tried for nonchalant, but she could tell Mel saw right through her. Katie tapped her fingernails against the tablecloth and fidgeted, waiting for Mel to put her out of her misery.

  “You are pathetic, my friend. What about Leo?”

  Katie wanted to shrivel up and die. “I like him, too.”

  Mel’s eyebrows rose. “Really? Are you forgetting I’ve known you since we were braces-wearing kids and you once ran into a pole while craning your neck around to stare at Michael Hearne?”

  How could she forget that one? “You’re not being a big help right now,” Katie muttered.

  “Oh, but I am. Will is obviously on a date. And you, my friend, are sitting here with me participating in a bitchfest when you could be at home riding a certain pony named Leo.”

  “Leo is not a pony.”

  “He’s not, but I’m sure he wouldn’t object to being ridden by a girl named Katie.” Mel leaned back and crossed her arms. “So what’s the deal, Katie?”

  “Nothing,” she said sullenly. “I just can’t wrap my head around Leo being real.”

  Mel’s expression softened. “I’m a scientist, Katie. And I’m sitting here telling you that he is real, even though it goes beyond anything I can see, taste, touch or feel. There is no explanation for Leo, yet he is right here. Waiting on you, I might add.” She leaned over and patted Katie’s hand. “And yet here you are. You and I both know the pizza at Joe’s isn’t good enough to pass up someone who looks like that.”

  “I can’t think about sex while I’m hungry.”

  Mel stared in Will’s direction. “Apparently other people can.”

  Katie was absolutely dying to look. “I need to go to the restroom,” she said and flung her napkin down.

  Mel grinned from ear to ear. “Liar. But go ahead. And tell him hello if you’re brave enough to stop.”

  “Sometimes I really hate you, Mel.” Katie wiggled out of the booth and adjusted her shirt.

  “Whatever, you just hate that I call you out on all the lies you tell yourself.” Mel picked up her drink and winked at Katie.

  “I like my lies.” Katie stuck her tongue out as she headed to the bathroom, her heart pounding a hundred miles an hour. Every step felt like she was walking in molasses. She discreetly smoothed down her T-shirt, and inwardly groaned at the wording emblazoned in neon purple across it. Will sat facing her, but was engrossed in conversation with someone she couldn’t see yet. The only thing Katie could see was a spread of curly auburn hair above the top of the booth. And the smile spread across Will’s face like a lovesick baboon.

  She should just turn around and sit down before she made a complete ass out of herself. She should do it. Turn around before he notices her. Katie, turn arou—

  Will looked up and locked eyes with her. Surprise flickered in his eyes and the smile he was wearing slowly fell off his face. She forced herself to keep walking and act surprised when she saw him. Lame, she thought. He could probably see right through it.

  She felt like she was in a tunnel walking toward the light but never getting there. Sheer torture. When she made it to the table, she stopped, telling herself it was just to be polite. But, if she was being honest with herself, she was dying to know what the mystery woman looked like. And when Katie finally glanced at her, she wished she had a straw she could slice her wrists open with.

  She was gorgeous. Katie felt any ounce of hope about being with Will slide right down the lump in her throat and out through the bottom of her ratty tennis shoes. Wild red hair spilled across her shoulders, stopping at the top of pale mounds of flesh highlighted by the low-cut emerald tank top she was wearing. It was unfair. She should have freckles, moles, something to mar that porcelain skin. And she was smiling up at Katie, although there was a frank curiosity in her gaze.

  Friendly, too. Bitch, Katie thought and cringed inwardly at her vicious thoughts. She could feed homeless people every Thursday and mow her elderly neighbor’s lawn and she still wouldn’t like her. Katie plastered a friendly smile on her face and bit out a hello to Will.

  “Fancy seeing you here,” she chirped, wishing for a hole to open up in the floor and swallow her.

  “Gotta eat,” Will said shortly.

  “Ha. Good one.” Katie laughed awkwardly. She turned to the woman. “I’m Katie. Will’s neighbor.”

  The redheaded wench stuck an elegant hand out to shake Katie’s. “I’m Holly. Nice to meet you.”

  “You, too.” Katie smiled and turned back to Will. “See you around, Will. Have fun!”

  Will stared at her a beat too long and dismissed her without a word. Katie flushed crimson with humiliation, burning with the desire to pick up Will’s beer and dump it all over his prickish head. Instead, she swept away from his table and headed toward the bathroom, feeling the curious gaze of Holly following her.

  Hopefully there were plenty of paper towels in there because Katie knew she’d need a few moments to compose herself.

  * * * *

  Katie’s hiccupping sobs rang out through the restroom. Thank God it was empty. She wouldn’t be able to handle any pitying gazes right now. She pulled down a handful of paper towels from the dispenser and blew her nose. The ridiculous sound of the honking noise made her laugh. She was an idiot, pining over someone who obviously only wanted to sleep with her. And who was she to think that one kiss automatically made them exclusive? She wasn’t in high school anymore. It was her mistake. Will was a man—a handsome one at that—and he had the right to do whatever he wanted to do, with whoever he wanted to do it with.

  Katie leaned over the counter, catching her breath, and made the mistake of looking in the mirror hanging above the sink. She wouldn’t be winning any beauty awards any time soon. Her cell signaled an incoming text.

  I won’t come in there and offer you any sympathetic back pats. But you do have about two minutes before I drag you out of there by your pretty blonde hair and slap the pity party right out of you.

  A ratcheting half laugh-sob escaped her and she turned on the sink to splash her face with cool water. Mel would make good on that promise, so she needed to make sure she was presentable before she left. And she needed to pick up some of the pride she left on that dirty bathroom floor. Katie wiped the wetness off her cheeks, took a few fortifying breaths, plastered a grimace of a smile on her face and walked out of the bathroom.

  Her heart beat a thousand miles per h
our, but it soon slowed as she realized Will and the delectable Holly were gone. Her shoulders fell and she blew out the breath she was holding. Mel still sat inside of the booth, a mix of pity and concern on her face.

  Katie slid back in the booth and grabbed another slice of pizza to shove in her face. Mel remained silent, but in solidarity to women problems also grabbed another piece. They chewed, Katie’s thoughts lost in her screwed-up love life. Mel’s gaze flicked over her a couple of times, but she didn’t try to make the situation better. Katie appreciated that. And as the pepperoni and mushroom swirled around in her mouth, and the high calorie content instantly made her feel eons better, she made a firm decision.

  By God, she would be having wild monkey sex tonight with the first man who would have her. So Leo had better be home, because it could be awkward if she had to dust off her rusty flirting skills and pick up a stranger. A feeling of calm settled over her and she grinned like a lunatic at Mel.

  Mel dropped her slice of pizza and it clattered onto her plate. “Oh. My. God. I know that face. You are so getting laid tonight!” She wiped her greasy fingers on her napkin and raised her hand for a high-five. Katie reciprocated, slapping their hands together in a pact that at least one of them would wake up a little sorer the next morning. She chugged the rest of her root beer, burped softly and threw some bills down on the table.

  “Let’s go,” Katie said. Mel choked on a laugh and scrambled to finish the rest of her slice. They practically ran out the door, Mel fast on her heels.

  Once they were inside the car, Mel turned to Katie. “I expect a full detailed report tomorrow morning, friend.”

  Katie snorted. “I’ve never been good at that, Mel. Your imagination is better than anything I could describe.”

  Mel flipped down the mirror and fluffed her hair. “Whatever. You’re a writer. You’re much better at all this than I am.”

  “That’s right. A writer! Not a verbal storyteller. Plus, talking about sex is squicky.”