The Nerds and the CEO (The Nerd Love Equation, #5)

by Allyson Lindt

  “What does that mean? Rifts. That doesn’t make any sense.”

  “I’m not sure how to better phrase it.” Grant’s tone was kind, to the point of being insulting. “You’ve always governed together, and while he resigned, we understand there’s some resentment still. We don’t need that spilling into everyday business on your part.”

  Antonio didn’t know how to argue against statements like that. “I’m not Justin.”

  “The decision is made. Have your lawyer contact our Legal department if there are questions about your contract.” Grant disconnected.

  Antonio stared at the phone in disbelief. Justin cost him his job. Antonio hated to cast blame, but he couldn’t think of any other way to look at it. He leaned back in his chair, the energy draining from him, washed away by powerlessness.

  He could fight this. Alternately, his name wasn’t in the headlines, so finding another job would be easy enough. Especially with his qualifications. He could retire at the age of thirty-three—the buyout amount was enough for him to live a carefree life of boredom. Or start an incubator and fund other app ideas.

  None of that sounded appealing. This experience had soured him. He didn’t have Justin. He missed his home and his family.

  Only one solution appealed to him. He was flying back to Italy this weekend, for his father’s birthday. It was the perfect opportunity for a change of scenery. He grabbed his cell phone and dialed his sister.

  “Il mio fratellino.” Her cheerful greeting nudged aside some of his dread.

  “Hey. You busy?” He slipped into Italian without pause. The sounds rolling off his tongue tasted like the sweetest comfort food.

  “I’m plotting world domination. Same old stuff. But it’ll wait. What’s up?”

  “I need a favor. I don’t know if it’s possible to finish before I arrive, but I’m hoping.”

  “Well? Spit it out.”

  He steeled himself. “I need you to find me an apartment. Long term. I’m moving back home. But don’t tell Mom and Dad. I want to surprise them.”

  Her squeal of happiness threatened to split his eardrums. “Are you serious?”

  “Deadly.”

  “One bedroom? Two? Is your boyfriend coming with you?”

  He wanted to pretend he didn’t know what she meant. Had he been that obvious with Justin? “Two bedrooms. I don’t need a lot of room, but find me a nice loft if you can.”

  “I’m on it. And I’m glad you’re coming back.”

  “Me too.” In a bitter, melancholy kind of way, but he was still glad. “I’ve got some other calls to make. Talk to you soon?”

  “I’m looking forward to it.”

  After he disconnected with her, he pulled up his plane-ticket reservations and changed his flight to one way, while he waited on hold for a real-estate agent. Someone he could talk to about listing his house.

  Maybe be was being a bit rash, but it worked for Justin. Might as well give it a shot. And if Antonio was lucky, somewhere along the way it would stop aching like a knife through the heart every time Justin’s name crossed his mind.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  TROUBLE IN PPARADISE for APPropriate Designs?

  Justin rolled his eyes at the pretentious article title, but as he read, annoyance turned to shock and then anger. Why wasn’t Antonio taking over the job as CEO? Was he going to be this spiteful about the entire thing?

  It wasn’t supposed to go this way. True, Justin didn’t know what to say to Antonio and hadn’t talked to him in a week, but that would blow over. They’d figure things out, establish new lines, and right their friendship. His chest pinged at the word, and he ignored the nagging sensation. If Antonio wasn’t accepting the CEO position, did that mean...?

  Justin refused to assume. He needed answers. He dialed Antonio’s number, wincing each time the phone rang in his ear, and disconnecting when it went to voicemail. In-person visit it was, then.

  Antonio’s office was empty. Justin snagged one of the developers, who told him Antonio left for the day. At noon, on a Monday? That didn’t make sense.

  He could second-guess where in town he’d find Antonio, but one thing was certain. If he wasn’t at home, he would be sooner or later. Justin would wait there.

  By the time Justin reached his destination, he was fidgeting so much, he thought he might crawl out of his skin. He didn’t like not having answers.

  Fortunately, Antonio’s car was in the driveway. Justin forced himself to walk to the front door, rather than sprint, and knocked.

  The Antonio who answered had dark circles under his eyes and wore a scowl. “I almost ignored you.” Instead of inviting him in, he leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed, blocking the entrance.

  “At least I know the not answering my calls was intentional.” Justin wasn’t sure how to lead into this conversation. “Why did you turn down the CEO job?”

  “Excuse me?”

  Now that he’d asked the question, Justin’s out-of-control thoughts tumbled forward. “You can’t walk away from this. How is that right, after you gave me so much shit about up and quitting?”

  “Okay. Let’s ignore the elephant in the room and address your concerns.” Sarcasm dripped from Antonio’s voice. “I didn’t turn down any job. They never offered it. I found out I was being let go thanks to a press release and a poorly timed buyout offer.

  “I— What?” That didn’t make any sense.

  “You heard me. The board doesn’t think I’m capable of acting without your influence, so they pushed me out. You walk away because you’re a whimsical jackass, and everyone pays the price.”

  The words stung, and Justin didn’t have a retort. “But you’re perfectly competent.”

  “Why are you here?” Antonio asked. “To demand answers I don’t have about a decision I didn’t make? If so, the conversation is done.”

  Justin’s mind stumbled at the wash of hostility. This sucked, and it was mostly on him. “I’m not sure why I’m here. I miss you. I want our friendship back.”

  Antonio gave a bitter laugh. “I’m still missing the apology in everything you’ve said. The part where you’re sorry you made decisions about our company, without consulting me. Where you realize your actions have consequences.”

  “I’m here to fix things.”

  “You’re right. This is my fault.”

  “That’s not what I mean.” Justin raked his fingers through his hair in frustration. “Can we talk inside?”

  For a moment, he thought Antonio was going to say no, but Antonio stepped aside and let him in. They stood in the foyer, facing each other, tension pulsing through the room.

  “I don’t feel that way about you.” Bile rose in Justin’s throat at the taste of the words. “That doesn’t mean I want you out of my life. I need you.”

  Antonio winced. “Please don’t say that. Not that way. I can’t. I’m sorry. Maybe someday in the future, I can reconcile the ridiculous fantasy I built in my head with reality, but right now I’m trying, and I can’t find that point. That’s probably not fair to you, because you’re right—I can’t force you to feel something you don’t. But the same goes for me. I can’t turn it off, and now that it’s out there, I don’t know how to put the feeling away again. I need to get away. Not because you don’t feel the same way about me, but because you threw everything away. It’s a careless disregard and it involved both of us, and I can’t let you do that to me again That’s not friendship, it’s selfish. I need to get away.”

  Justin had been selfish. He saw that now, but he didn’t know how to make it right. I need to get away. It could be a casual statement. The equivalent of give me some time. The rawness clawing at Justin’s throat didn’t let him believe it was so simple. “You’re being literal.”

  “I am. I’m going back to Italy. I made arrangements this morning.”

  “No. You can’t.” Panic welled inside Justin. He didn’t like this feeling at all. “You have to stay. I can... I don’t know. Learn
to make us work?”

  Antonio stared at him, disbelief and hurt in his eyes. “Make what work? A love you don’t want? Out of pity? Desperation? No thank you. I’d never want such a thing. I can’t believe you think that’s a viable alternative.”

  “I don’t know what else to say.” Justin wasn’t used to being at a loss.

  “You’ve said enough.”

  EMILY SAT IN HER CAR in the coffee shop parking lot, staring at the New Voicemail bar on her phone. The message was from Cynthia, and Emily didn’t know if she wanted to listen or not. She needed to make a decision soon, because she was supposed to meet Antonio inside. He called her last night, confirmed the news about him being laid off, and said he wanted to talk to her about something but wouldn’t give any hints. He asked if she was free Tuesday morning.

  She was. And Tuesday afternoon, and based on her lackluster job search, every moment from now until eternity. How long until this stripped-raw feeling of desperation passed? She deleted the message from Cynthia and headed inside.

  Antonio was waiting at their table, a drink in front of him and a second in front of the empty seat across from him. The gesture stripped away a layer of her frustration. He stood as she approached, and swept her into a hug. The gesture had become natural over the past week, and it lifted her spirits another notch.

  She wasn’t certain, but it seemed like he held on longer this time. Or that was her, squeezing more than normal, needing this line to stay tethered. He released her, and they sat.

  She sipped her coffee. He even got that right. “How are you doing?” she asked.

  He shrugged. “Better than I should be. Not as good as I’d like to be.”

  “That’s an improvement. Any specific reason, or is this an overall sense of good will?”

  He chuckled, and the pleasant sound rolled over and through her. Combined with his smile, it would be a temptation under happier circumstances. “There’s a specific reason. I’m moving home. To Italy.”

  “Oh.” The bottom dropped out of her world. Funny—she thought it had disappeared days ago. She and Antonio had barely known each other more than a month, but he was already one of her closest friends, and one of the few friends she had left.

  “And I want you to go with me,” he said.

  Her bottomless world rolled on its side, and her thoughts jumbled into chaos. “Oh.”

  “Rather, I’d like you to think about it. I’ve got a job for you. I’ll have an apartment. I don’t expect any sort of romance, though I wouldn’t rule it out in the future, and you’ve always wanted to see the world.”

  The idea was brilliant. It was temptation wrapped in terror. “I don’t know.”

  “I didn’t expect you to answer right away.” His sad smile implied he’d hoped.

  “I’m not saying no.” She didn’t think she could if she wanted. The problem was she couldn’t find a yes, either. “How long do I have before you need an answer?”

  “I’m leaving at the end of the week. It would be nice to have you by my side, but it’s an open-ended offer. Decide tomorrow or six months from now.”

  They talked about anything and everything, staying through the lunch crowd and for hours after the rush-hour crowd cleared up. His offer lingered at the forefront of her thoughts the entire time.

  For every con argument she came up with, a pro countered.

  She’d be walking away from the life she’d always had and into the uncertain. Then again, there was no reason she had to stay if it didn’t work.

  What if she got there and found herself stranded? She’d hop a plane back home. Or to another state, where her reputation wasn’t tarnished.

  She didn’t know Antonio that well, despite the trust they’d built. Then again, she thought she knew Cynthia better than anyone, and look how that turned out.

  He walked her to her car at the end of the evening, squeezed her hand as he said goodbye, and sent her on her way. He could be her ultimate Prince Charming. Except for the whole him-being-hung-up-on-another-guy thing.

  Back at her motel, she tried to focus on getting something done. When that didn’t happen, she changed into the shorts and cami she slept in, climbed into bed early, and turned on the TV.

  It droned on in the background, but Antonio’s offer had her attention. The clock crept past midnight then 1 a.m. Exhaustion gnawed at her limbs and senses, but sleep refused to come.

  It was nearly two when her phone buzzed. She grabbed it and pulled up a new message from Justin.

  Can we meet up?

  She typed out an answer without thought. I’m up now, or tomorrow is fine. She included her room information. The rational part of her mind told her that might not be her smartest decision, but at least it was a decision. Something she didn’t have to fret over until all hours of the morning.

  Twenty minutes later, there was a knock. She let Justin in. He looked as tired as she felt, but his blue eyes and scruff of beard were sexy as hell.

  Before the door finished closing behind him, he cupped her face between his palms and crushed his mouth to hers. She whimpered against his lips. She grasped his T-shirt in both fists and held on for all she was worth. He backed her against the wall, sliding one hand to the back of her neck and holding her head captive. As he dipped his tongue into her mouth she tasted hints of coffee and mint, but no alcohol.

  The intensity stole her breath and her thoughts, leaving her with the fear that letting go meant fluttering into oblivion and hanging on would burn her from the inside out.

  He let go with a gasp and stepped back several feet.

  As the cool air rushed around her, she was grateful one of them had hold of their senses.

  “That’s not why I came over here. I swear.” His voice was hoarse.

  God. This fervor with him was a new level of terror. “I get it.” She stepped around him and settled into the chair by her desk, not trusting herself on the bed. “What’s up?” A safe question. She hoped.

  He stayed near the entrance. “I wanted to ask if you thought about my job offer. You were supposed to see the message in the morning, hem and haw about it, and then agree to meet face to face, so I could read your reactions and plead appropriately.”

  His question overlapped and contrasted with Antonio’s. If the indecision was bad before, she was fucked now. This was the crossroads she’d feared—having to choose one or the other. She could side with safety and comfort and everything sweet, or opt for a heat and passion that would flare hot and burn out fast.

  On the surface, that wasn’t what either man was asking. This was about work. She didn’t believe that, though. It didn’t matter what their intentions were; she doubted she could stay away from Justin any more than he could her.

  “Emily?” He studied her, and concern hung in his voice.

  What was she going to say? “I’m flattered you want me back, working with you.” As the answer hit her tongue, she didn’t question the decision. “You’ll do amazing things with Promiscuous Perks, or whatever you decide to call it, but I’ve got another offer.”

  “I can beat whatever they’re paying.”

  She couldn’t find the strength to tell him he really couldn’t. She shook her head.

  “That’s fine. You’re a contractor. How long will you be with them? It’s going to take me a few months to get things off the ground. Can I snag the next spot in your work queue?”

  “This isn’t a temporary position.” She had to tell him the truth. He deserved to know. “I have a job offer in Italy.”

  “I see.” His expression went flat, and his voice matched it.

  I’m sorry stuck in her throat. It didn’t seem like the right sentiment.

  “If I’d asked you before he did?”

  “You did ask me first. A week ago. I wish I could explain it.” She barely understood it herself.

  “I get it. You do what you have to, for you.” He turned and left. No goodbye. No glance back.

  Light from the hallway spilled in, then vanished
again, cutting her off from him. Something in her heart snapped. She pulled her knees to her chest. If she hugged tight enough, maybe she could keep herself from falling apart.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  THERE HAD BEEN AN EMPTY pit in Antonio’s chest since Justin left his house Monday afternoon. It filled in a bit when Emily said yes to his offer.

  She stood next to him now, finishing her conversation with Customs.

  She intertwined her fingers with his, and he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. He’d been back to Italy several times since moving to the U.S.—holidays, birthdays, whenever he could find a free week—and it never felt like home until he left Customs.

  This time was different. He led her toward baggage claim, and the permanence of the situation sank into his skin, easing the hollowness behind his ribs. He was home. He never expected the words to sound so good. They didn’t erase the defeat of leaving Justin behind, but everything else about it felt right.

  He glanced at Emily, who was looking everywhere, eyes wide and a tiny smile playing on her lips.

  “It’s an airport, passerotta.” He laughed. “Like every other in the world.”

  She glanced back at him. “I know. But it’s what it represents. Outside these walls, there are things I’ve never seen before. Never even imagined I’d see in person.”

  “And a lot that will look too familiar.”

  She smacked him lightly on the arm. “Don’t steal my fun. You seduced me here with promises of seeing the world. Let me see it.”

  The banter was nice. It blended and melted with the rightness of walking through familiar territory. They grabbed their bags from the carousel and headed outside. Most of their things were being shipped via freight—his now, and hers once she was sure she was comfortable here. He’d sold a lot of it or left it with the house, though.

  His sister was waiting by the curb, as she promised. She hopped from the driver’s side of the car as they approached, and trotted to meet him. She shared a lot of features with Antonio—almost six feet tall, straight dark hair, and brown eyes—but instead of an olive complexion, she had the same pale skin as their mother. He swept her into a hug, sinking into the comfort of familiarity.