A Fire That Burns
Page 27
“It was a kneejerk reaction. I’m sorry for that ever happening, but we were working towards something, Aus! We were great as a duo at work, everyone said so. If-If it’s nicknames you want, I can give you that! If it’s gifts, then I’ll go and buy out a whole store. I can do that. I can,” Michael tried to grovel, “I’ll move here if you want me too. I will. I’ll do whatever to prove I am sorry.”
Shaking her head, Austin knew this was going to be a vicious cycle as Michael wasn’t getting the idea easily. Putting her hand on her arm to soothe the agitated soreness, she looked to him, “I’m going to go and lay down before we all go out. If you want to be my best friend then be there, but if you want to carry on this torture of apologizing for something that isn’t worth it anymore, then don’t even bother turning up. My decision is final, Michael. I love Tyler.”
Austin left him to it and headed into the house feeling like the biggest monster all over again. She just wanted to sleep for an escape.
***
“Did you lie to me?” Tyler asked Austin as he followed his girl to the bedroom in Tom’s house. He could see from her face that she had taken her pain meds and was now completely wiped out. He knew she needed to sleep, but he needed answers to what he had heard. He needed to hear Austin out on what she had been arguing over with Michael.
Austin looked up at Tyler; sitting up to get away from his grasp as he stepped in and his accusation hit her hard. “No,” she responded a little hurt, “What are you going on about?”
“I heard you tell Michael you loved him,” Tyler admitted to her quietly as he sat down on the edge of the bed. All of his pent up doubts seemed to start tumbling out all at once and he didn’t even need to utter a word to get that noticed.
Looking solemn, Austin took a breath, “I tried to love him,” she admitted. “God, did I try everything to just give myself fully to him like I had you, but it never worked, and when that case hit too close to home, I had to run. I had to come back and salvage everything because I was more scared at the prospect of everything consuming me than ever losing it all.” She looked up at him, “He didn’t understand why I couldn’t stay around, and that night I went to him, to make amends, and he was having more than enough fun with three other women.”
“Oh, Aust,” Tyler whispered as he saw the look of hurt cross Austin’s face.
“If he loved me, Tyler, if he ever meant a word, then he wouldn’t have done that. No matter how hurt he was, he wouldn’t have taken those women home, and he wouldn’t have been caught in a compromising situation.”
Remaining quiet, Tyler felt guilt consume his every fiber.
“Tyler,” Austin called to him, drawing him back to reality.
He looked up at her, and gave her direct eye contact as he spoke, “I did what he did, though,” Tyler told her and it was as though his heart break was taking over every strand of his voice. “I went with another woman when you ran.”
“After I had run from you,” Austin corrected Tyler truthfully, “He did it while I was still in clear view. You had no other option, he had every option available.” Austin got off of the bed as she felt the need to work out the nervous energy in her. “He had every opportunity to make me stay, and yet he didn’t. He had a helping hand in sealing the end of my life in New York, Tyler. I don’t want the high maintenance life that comes with that job, I want the good life. I want to be here and know I won’t get a phone call dragging me halfway across the country and not know when the hell I’m going to be back. I want to have a husband that’s going to come home every night.”
“You should give it a chance though,” Tyler pondered loudly.
“What?” Austin asked as confusion knitted across her forehead.
“He loves you, Aus, give him a chance,” Tyler told her selflessly. “Give him a chance to prove that that life is worth fighting for.”
As his words hit her, she felt her heart falter its beating and she snapped at the idea of leaving Tyler behind. “I don’t want to!” Austin responded as her eyes watered with how much she was dedicated to that statement. “I love him, he is one of my best friends, but he isn’t the man that I can envisage the rest of my life with, Tyler! That’s you! No matter how hard I tried, it was always you. Why can’t you understand that? It’s always going to be you who makes me happiest, you make me safe. You give me a reason. You make me want to get up in the morning. You make me trust my heart again.”
Tyler remained silent.
“Well?” she pressed him. “Why can you not understand that, Tyler?”
“I just want you to have the best in life, Austin,” he told her truthfully and lifted his gaze to meet hers, and what Austin was met with was pure, eternal love. Tyler was offering her the world to find herself before concluding it was only ever him. “I want you to be truly happy without any regrets.”
Austin could see that Tyler needed a sealant on this matter. Words weren’t enough to cover this anymore. She needed to act as well. She gave him a little smirk and got onto the bed so she could pull him closer. “I love you, Tyler. If I didn’t, then all of this – the miscarriage, leaving, the fire – it didn’t mean a thing. It would have been pointless in bringing us back together. Everything happens for a reason, and we are that reason.” Austin shared her faith with him.
Feeling her hand on his cheek, Tyler couldn’t stop himself from leaning into the hold.
“We were brought back together, Tyler, and Michael, he was an option, but he ruined that. I know that option’s there, but why have that when the man my heart wants is the man that arrested his fiancée and then was by my bedside most mornings while I was in hospital?” she smiled softly at Tyler, “Why waste knowing that there is a man that knows me regardless of the time that comes between us? Why lose who knows how I work, and why lose the man that still knows how to keep me happy? Especially after he won my heart back, even after I thought he didn’t need to win it back.”
“That’s me?” Tyler asked incredulously. His voice hopeful and shocked all at once.
Austin smiled sweetly and leaned in closer to him, “That’s you.”
Austin ended this moment with a kiss. One that, for once, sent Tyler sky high and allowed him to feel the everlasting tingle of unadulterated love as it spiraled through his system. He had won the love back he had always wanted to.
Chapter Fifty-One
EVEN after a few nights, it appeared that Michael couldn’t take being an underdog. It seemed that banter had turned brutal, and now Tyler and Michael were finally on the verge of snapping one another’s neck to help the ultimate decision of Austin’s heart.
Tyler knew Austin wanted him, but jealousy took a hold of him just as Michael’s had done.
They’d all gone out as a group for a meal and the rivalry had only manifested to the maximum. For the entire two hours, Austin had tried to be herself and allow her time to be split between both men in her life, but she was finding it hard. If she spent too much time on Tyler, Michael kicked up, and if she spent too much time on Michael, Tyler kicked up.
She was just thankful for her brother being able to take control. Without Tom she would have literally resulted to cutting herself in half and offering herself equally to both Tyler and Michael – even then one would have argued the other had a bigger piece of her, she had chided herself jokingly.
Getting home though, the moment they began to go towards the Pearson’s house, the two men had just become so enraged that they couldn’t keep themselves controlled. After Michael had muttered that calling Austin ‘Sunny’ and ‘Baby Girl’ were lame ass excuses to rekindle a high school sweet heart kind of romance, Tyler finally snapped.
Little did Michael know that Austin and Tyler were never just high school sweethearts, and that the nickname ‘Baby Girl’ had come about in the most romantic way possible. Tyler had used it to seal the deal with Austin; he had called her that the very first time they made love. The night they had both given their all and gave to one another wholly as teenagers was
the first night Tyler had used it. It was in the middle of the night, when they lay awake contemplating if they felt different or not, that he had whispered it to her so delicately, each syllable, letter, sound had just draped over her and she knew there was only one place in Tyler’s heart and that was hers to keep.
That memory was distant in Austin’s mind at that moment.
Now she was watching them both lash out and attack one another. Horrifyingly, it was like two animals fighting over one piece of prey – and that was her! Here were the two men that she loved most, for two different reasons entirely, both pummeling each other, attacking one another, and hurting each other with pure rage.
“Stop it!” Austin screamed out in fear, “Stop it, the both of you!” Austin felt sick almost immediately, and the need to throw up just built in her throat threatening to make an appearance. Swallowing hard she stepped forward, but Tom stopped her from going in too close.
“I don’t want you getting hurt, Aus,” he told her worriedly. She was already hurt and in constant pain, he didn’t want her taking a stray punch as one of the men drew back. The last thing he wanted was for Austin to bear the brunt of this situation because the two men couldn’t realize that one of them had already won while the other had lost.
As she watched, calling at them to stop, Austin felt like the culprit. She hadn’t broken just one man’s heart, she had broken two hearts. Michael’s was an obvious, but Tyler was caught in this as well and Austin had driven them to violence.
Shaking, Austin looked as her brothers came down from the house with her father. She felt him wrap his arms around her to soothe her as her brothers tried to separate the two men. She looked to see Liam helping, as Jessica held onto Archie’s hand while he had his other arm around Emma. The two women looked as spooked as she did.
As both men were finally pulled apart, Dean standing between them, his broad steady build working well to keep them that way, they looked to Austin. They both stood panting, recovering from their brawl and they both kept looking at Austin expectantly. Both men were waiting on her for the judgment call – for her call on the survival of the fittest.
Except, they weren’t met with a woman impressed that two men were fighting over her. They were met with a woman that was heartbroken that it had come down to this. They had both hurt the one woman that was more than caught up in the middle of their love and lust for her. They had failed to listen to the call of her heart even after she had told them both who she chose.
Michael had seen this as his opportunity to win Austin back, make her understand that he was so in love with her he would fight for her even after he had lost. Tyler, however, felt like he had to fight to keep Austin as his. He felt like if he didn’t fight back then Austin was going to run off with Michael.
“I don’t want you to fight over me like this,” Austin said as she tried her hardest to stop crying. She finally let her father let her go, “I don’t want you getting hurt over me.”
There was silence from all angles, including everyone that had stood around and watched and helped break the fight up. There were really no words to total this moment.
“You’re both my best friends, and I know you love me, and I love you both too, but I can’t help who I want. If you’re going to act like animals then I refuse to hang around to just watch you destroy each other. I don’t want either of you if that is going to happen.”
“It’s not like that,” Tyler defended as he wiped his mouth and saw Michael shake his head to show his stand point on Austin’s action.
“Is it not?” Austin exclaimed as she noticed Michael’s shining eye and Tyler’s bleeding lip. “I won’t be the cause of this. It scares me to actually think that you two change just because you love me. That isn’t the kind of love I want.”
With that Austin fled altogether, her control completely disappearing, and all that was left were her sobs ricocheting into the night.
Chapter Fifty-Two
THE familiarity of the dull ache in her chest notified her that again her heart was being ripped to shreds. The pain, so much more palpable than the sting to her burns, that she didn’t know which she preferred.
Seeing Tyler fight Michael so wildly and violently was haunting her; even now, when she was alone and away from all the commotion and chaos that they had created.
Even sitting in the loneliness that the Point Arena Cove offered her did nothing to tend to the emotional and mental wounds. Usually this was the one place that would soothe her soul, help make clarity out of chaos, and would allow her to take that deep calming breathe that would enable her to pick herself up and carry on.
For once, she couldn’t just go back to face the music of what had happened.
“Austin,” Tyler’s voice came as he climbed down the rocks towards her.
“Just leave me alone,” Austin snapped back uncharacteristically. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with the nitpicking and the snide remarks. She wanted her two closest friends to understand how hard her heart had taken the decision, but how right it was for her. Michael was destined to be her best friend and Tyler was always destined to be the one man that could give her any ideas about a future. Tyler was always her true soul mate.
“I’m not here to make you cut Michael from your life or to get you to choose my side,” Tyler proved her wrong. “We had a discussion, cleared the air between us,” he told her and dropped beside her, “Baby, we were worried. It’s been over two hours. Tom and I knew you needed some air, but it is getting late.”
“Two hours?” she asked, her voice a little choked. She shook her head, “I’ll head back in a moment.”
“No,” he defied her. “You’ll head back with me now.”
“I’m not ready to go back to the fighting,” Austin admitted with a sigh. “It’s all that it seems to feel like lately. One big fight to get things to just go right,” Austin said and relished Tyler taking her in his arms. This was one of the reasons why her choice felt right - Tyler was one of the only men that could hold her close and soothe her without words. While Michael had to soothe her with words, hardly acting out. He had to work on her to make her see sense.
“It will get better,” Tyler soothed her. “When you’re more than healed you’ll find that life will just fall back into place and you will be happier than ever. I promise you that, and I am sorry for everything that happened tonight. I promise you, it will get better and everything will just pick up and you’ll look back on this one day and wonder what all the fuss was about.”
“Not if you fight again I won’t,” Austin argued back nonchalantly, knowing that if she ever watched him fight so aggressively over her again she wouldn’t be able to stomach it.
“If I ever do that again, then please, Austin, whatever happens please, just stop me before I get that bad. I felt so threatened by him and I shouldn’t have because you had proven to me and everyone who it was you wanted. Baby, you do whatever you have to make me see sense.”
“I’ll make sure I hit you really hard over the head with something,” Austin joked with a somewhat off tone.
Laughing, Tyler guessed it was finally time to get her home. Now that he had cleared the air he felt better and he had to let Michael have the opportunity if he so wanted it. “Shall we go back?” He prompted and saw her shake her head and saw the troubled look in her eyes. “What’s up, Baby?”
“He isn’t making this any easier,” Austin spoke before falling forward to just sob into Tyler’s chest. “Why did this have to get so complicated?”
“Because loving people isn’t easy,” Tyler told her back. “You can’t help what you feel and you can’t help how people react to things that they don’t want to hear. Michael is hurt, you know that, I know that, he knows that, but he needs to understand that if you’re not all in then you aren’t going to love him completely.” Tyler smiled at her understandingly, “I’m not saying that because you chose me and you love me over him, I am just saying that he will come around.”
Aus
tin nodded to show she understood even if her mind was making it hard to take note of the fact that Michael would come around to her decision.
“I know you don’t believe it, Aust,” Tyler observed. He knew that his reaction earlier had her feeling like this as well as actually making this decision. Seeing two men fight over her was tearing her apart and made her opinion and choice feel invalidated. Austin was having a tough time taking on life as it was without two men that she valued most having to result in physical fighting.
“It’s just he was the first man that I connected with since leaving here,” Austin admitted to Tyler. “The first man since you anyway, and he made it easier to be in New York. If we had a bad case, he’d take my mind off of it; when I was ill, he was there. I thought he was my ticket to getting over you, and then that case,” Austin paused to gather some composure. She couldn’t finish the sentence. “I needed you, Tyler. Like I always did.”
Tyler was speechless for a moment, unable to sooth her with words. He guessed he hadn’t really wanted to be confronted with the truth of what Michael meant to Austin, but now he had it, he couldn’t hide from it.
“Now he’s going to hate me forever and I’m the greedy one for not wanting him to leave me,” Austin confessed with a soft sob. “I can’t tell him that I’m in love with you and want you, but want him in my life at the same time. That is selfish and horrible and that’s what I have begun to do.”
Hearing her cry broke his heart and he knew, if it were him in the predicament, he wouldn’t throw it all away, regardless of what he was left with afterwards. “He will come around,” Tyler vowed to her and pressed his lips to her temple in a delicate kiss. “You’ll see. He really would rather keep you, than lose you.” He finished and allowed her to digest this however she needed to.