A Fire That Burns

by Kirsty-Anne Still

  ***

  Going back out into the warm air, Austin could see her family and Michael still waiting, this time with Tanya discussing something with her mom. She squeezed Tyler’ hand excited and felt a whole new spring in her step. A bounce that had been lost years ago from her spirit.

  Now, however, it was more than a little back and she was excited for it to stay where it was.

  “What took you so long?” Tom asked as he looked at the newfound feeling surrounding the pair. “We were going to come looking, but Dean didn’t think it would be safe.”

  “It was all PG rated,” Austin teased back animatedly.

  Laughing Tom crooked an eyebrow and looked at Michael, “Austin Pearson version or otherwise?”

  “That you’ll never know, big brother,” Austin replied satisfied with being able to tease her brother so.

  “What are you hiding from us?” Michael asked, he knew the look she was giving him. He had been on the receiving end of it when she found something juicy at work or when she was after something.

  Looking at Tyler, he chuckled as Austin gave him an expectant look, “Go for it, Aussie.”

  Swinging her body side to side with mounting excitement, she looked at everyone as her smile grew. “We might just be engaged,” Austin admitted as she scrunched her face up with excited happiness.

  “What?” Everyone gasped together.

  “She asked me and freaked, and well, let’s just say, she’s going to get a proper proposal, but we’re back to where we were years ago,” Tyler said as he put his arm around her side and pulled her close to him. “Although this time, I intend to see it through to the marriage license.”

  “I guess we best have some congratulation drinks later,” Jane announced proudly. She had seen her daughters’ happiness grow in leaps and bounds, but now she could see it solidifying and with it, she could see the true Tyler was back with them.

  It was like seeing a spell – or a curse! – broken at long last.

  Even Michael couldn’t mistake that, for once, the smile on Austin’s face was one that could ignite the sun if it were to burn out. He would never be jealous of losing her to Tyler now.

  Chapter Fifty-Seven

  “YOU okay, Baby?” Austin asked as she came into her room at Tom’s. She had waited on Tyler to get out of the shower, and having heard him moving around, she had come up. It had been hours since the proposal and life already seemed to be running along more than a little smoothly in Point Arena. She had been taken off by her parents while the men worked a little more on the house and admittedly, she had wanted to get her hands on Tyler ever since.

  Running a hand over his shoulder, Tyler rolled his head around, his face scrunched up in discomfort, “Hurt my shoulder today at the house, that’s all. Trying to get it done in a rush wasn’t my wisest idea.”

  “My bad boy,” she responded by kissing his bad shoulder. “Want me to massage it better?” Austin asked. Without a response, she started to run her hands over the same spot she used to years ago. This process was second nature to her, if she forgot this then it was like forgetting how to love Tyler. She was using her bad arm gently while the other worked the muscles, but the two together were obviously having the desired effect.

  “Mmm,” Tyler groaned with pleasure, “That feels good.” As he sat enjoying the feel of Austin’s hands over his sore shoulder, he realized just how much he missed this.

  Opening his eyes, Tyler was grief stricken with comparisons. Natasha had never been bothered to help him with his shoulder complaint; she had never even picked up when he was in pain. She had never been attentive to his needs that way and it shocked him to the core.

  “What’s wrong?” Austin asked as she felt him pull away from her touch, “Did I hurt you?”

  “No, it’s nothing,” Tyler deflected her concern.

  “Don’t lie to me,” Austin replied as she remained behind him for a moment, her hand still on his shoulder. “I don’t do lying. Not now.”

  Sighing, Tyler put his hand to hers, “I just can’t believe I lived so long believing that I loved her.”

  Austin was glad Tyler couldn’t see her and that he didn’t look back, “We all do things we think were right, even when they’re not.”

  “I was with a woman that didn’t care about anyone, but herself,” Tyler confided nonchalantly and he felt his shoulders become heavy with his own woes. “She never cared for me like you did, nor did she love me enough to build a life on truths. It was all lies and I hate that. I hate that I made a life like that.”

  “It’s all better now,” Austin consoled him lightly. She could give him some spiel about how life was meant to take this dastardly route and how everything happened for a reason, but right now, the use of simple consolation seemed to fit better.

  “You’re right because she was never you and I love that. No one will ever be you,” Tyler murmured softly at the final realization that Natasha would never eclipse any aspect that concerned Austin.

  “This life is amazeballs,” Austin whispered with a giggle as she kissed his shoulder again and then came to sit on his side, balancing on the edge of the bed. “I wouldn’t change it for the world.”

  Tyler, looping his arms around her waist managed to pull her to him and kiss her longingly. Pulling away he looked down at her as she smiled and again he was shot with the realisation that life had torn them apart and brought them together. Now, however, he could look at Austin and now see an entire life with her, not just his career.

  “Now there’s a word I haven’t heard in forever and a sentence I wouldn’t deny either,” Tyler responded with a smirk.

  “Good,” Austin started, “Because I’m not letting you.” She then proceeded to sit up and climb off of the bed. “You’ve been working hard all day, T, you need some sleep.”

  “Have you taken your pills?” Tyler quizzed her.

  She nodded and smiled, “And Tom changed my bandages.” She showed him the fresh wrap around her arm, “All done with a big girl smile. Now can we please get some sleep?”

  “I will when you will,” he commented hesitantly. He just wanted her in his arms tonight after a hard day’s grafting, and even though he could class their engagement as a perfect end to this day, he would only be heart and soul happy when she was sound asleep on his chest.

  “I’m just going for a pee then I am jumping in my PJs and I am all yours,” Austin told him, “Get in, I’ll be two minutes tops.”

  “Don’t be long,” he called behind her as she walked towards the bathroom, taking her top off as easily and independently as she could with her burns. He sighed contently and got under the quilt, immediately feeling sleep snatching away at him regardless of him wanting to stay awake for Austin.

  He never did feel her join him later. It wasn’t until he woke up in the dead of the night, that he felt content with her sleeping soundly while he found himself lying awake. He couldn’t help but look down to watch Austin sleep. She was so perfect as she remained still, her breathing heavy with sleep, her body outlined by the minimal light making it into the room. He couldn’t help but want to fast forward life to where he was finally married to Austin and setting up a home fit for a family with her.

  With his shoulder playing up, he knew he had to slow down the process of making their home perfect for her. However, with Austin’s aid and massages, he knew he would be back to full health before long – just like when he was a teenager.

  Life was falling back together again and he couldn’t imagine anything happening to change that now.

  Chapter Fifty-Eight

  AUSTIN was standing in front of the mirror looking over the scarred skin across her side. As her hand came to touch it, she saw the ring on her finger and stalled her motions. She might still be healing, but she had scars and that scared her. That was until she caught the glint of the ring and realized that Tyler loved her – scars and all. He had proven that when he had stripped her down to nothing and made love to her just a few days after
their new engagement.

  She cringed when she thought about how she felt right after the fire, convinced she was going to be deformed and look like a monster, but nearly four months down the road, she felt empowered. She felt like her life was finally getting back to how she spent the past six years dreaming it should be. Today was her birthday, Tyler had woke her up to the most romantic meal possible and had showered her in gifts, only leaving her so he could help her brothers and both their dads set up the birthday bonanza. She could do nothing but smile at how perfect life was falling back together for her.

  Except there was one matter that was scaring her deep down in her soul; she was yet to admit out loud.

  “I missed your smile,” Jane commented to Austin as her daughter stood staring at her reflection. Her voice dissolved all of Austin’s thoughts instantly. “You only get it back when Tyler’s around you.”

  “That’s not true,” Austin defied her mother’s claim. She quickly covered herself with the lilac top and then pulled it on, covering her mutated skin. Morbid curiosity had her looking at her wounds. She knew it was stupid, but she just couldn't help herself, and she had been caught in the act.

  Jane went to stand next to her daughter and offered her a warm smile, “He makes you who you were.” She began and smiled, “When you came back, you were just given cold shoulder after cold shoulder, and I helped make you the saddest I had ever seen you. That’s something I will punish myself with for a long time yet.”

  “Don’t,” Austin told her mother and smiled, “You had every right, and since the fire you’ve been my support and my best friend again.” She shrugged a little, “Just like I had dreamed you would be when I got back.”

  “You know, you don’t have to stay here,” Jane commented as she watched her daughter. She knew it was stupid, but Austin was twenty-six today, she knew that if she wanted to leave, she would let her.

  Austin gawped at her mother in that moment, “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, if you ever wanted to go back to New York, we would fully support you in that decision,” Jane told her daughter, and although it upset her at the thought, she managed to keep a lid on her true fear of losing her daughter again.

  Austin went and sat down on her bed and looked up at her mom, “I won’t ever be going back there.” Austin told her, “I know that’s ridiculous to say, but I want my life here and I want to know that when I go to bed I won’t be seeing what I spent all day watching.” Flashing her eyes up to her mom, Austin felt fearful for a moment, “However much help we did, and how many lives we saved, it just didn’t stop me from seeing what happened to them all. It just seemed to cancel it out, and as much as I love them all back there, it doesn’t beat this life I have here anymore.” She then smiled and looked down at her ring, “I’m happy again. Something I haven’t been in a long time.”

  “You do what’s right for you,” Jane said as she sat down next to her daughter on the bed and took her hand. “All I want is to see you happy.”

  “Not dreaming about those cases is keeping me happy,” Austin admitted to her mom honestly. “Being there, working those cases, took over from me remembering the good times I had here before it went wrong. I never had room to dream about Tyler, or feeling your hugs, or hearing dad tease me, because all I used to dream was what horrible things people could do to others.” Taking in and exhaling a breath of relief and peace, Austin smiled, “Now that I’m back I don’t have that many nightmares.”

  Jane felt her body ease with relief. She pulled her daughter in close and gently placed a kiss to her temple, “It’s good to see you happy at long last.”

  “I have Tyler, and he knows about everything, about the baby and about why I left,” Austin spoke up and she couldn’t stop the smile from just growing on her face, “I finally found peace with it all. After six years, I think I deserve this.”

  “You do,” Jane told her daughter. “Now, we need to get ready,” Jane said ending the moment so that the excitement for the evening’s festivities could begin. Going over to the wardrobe, she began looking through the clothes.

  Austin didn’t move, she watched her mom, and rang her hands together heavily. “Erm,” Austin cleared her throat nervously, “Mom, I need your help with something.”

  Jane turned around from the wardrobe and looked at her daughter her happiness was masked with something else and she stopped what she was doing, “What’s wrong?”

  “I think,” Austin paused and shook her head, “No, I know I’m pregnant.” She looked up fearful, “I don’t know what to do, it’s like it was six years ago.” Austin then laughed, “Well, kind of, I don’t feel second best anymore, but we’re engaged again and I jus-”

  “You have nothing to worry about,” Jane soothed her daughter lovingly.

  Austin felt her eyes water, “I don’t want Tyler to know until I’m positively sure. Not after him thinking Natasha was pregnant and then finding out I miscarried. I don’t want him to get excited that this is really happening for it not to.” Austin slowly admitted, “I just want to wait until I can ensure this isn’t going to get our hopes up.”

  Silencing her daughter, Jane spoke up, “We’ll deal with this without Tyler having to know until you’re ready to do so.”

  “He’s going to know something’s up,” Austin fretted for a moment. “He can read me like a book, Mom, he’s going to know.”

  Jane shook her head and took Austin’s hand in hers, “I will get you a pregnancy test, but you enjoy tonight,” Jane told Austin, “Don’t let Tyler know until we’re one hundred percent sure.”

  “This sticks between us until we’re sure?” Austin asked her mom, “I don’t want what happened before to happen again.”

  Jane nodded, “But, if that test is positive you tell Tyler.” She then pulled her daughter close and kissed her, “The past isn’t going to happen again, just remember that.” She pressed one more motherly kiss to Austin’s head, “You need to get ready, Baby,” She murmured and then stood up to leave. Freezing in the doorway, Jane turned back, “Is this another reason why you don’t want to leave?” she asked Austin and hoped she would get a truthful response.

  Shrugging, Austin sighed, “I guess, but I just like knowing my family is just down the road and not literally a world apart. I like feeling part of a family.” She then smiled a little more, “I like knowing I’m not alone.”

  “Baby,” Jane empathized for a moment, “You’ll never be alone in this life.” She gave her a wink and before leaving, she paused and said; “Ever.”

  ***

  Hours later, Austin sat a little disheartened after four negative pregnancy tests and she couldn’t stop her mind from wishing they had been positive. She wanted a second chance so badly that it actually made her heart ache – ache almost out of her chest. She wanted Tyler’s child, and she wanted to make that family with him.

  As she watched him dancing with his sister, she smiled at how lucky she was to have him love her again. Even though it had taken drastic measures and a huge amount of heartbreak, she was back to where she was happiest and she loved her life now – just the idea of a child would make it complete.

  She had admittedly cried over the failed tests, falling into her mother’s safe embrace, because she was sure she was pregnant, like one hundred percent sure. Four tests couldn’t lie to her. She wanted so bad to tell Tyler some news like that, but she couldn’t, and now she had to just try and enjoy herself. It was her birthday, after all, and birthday girls didn’t cry – her dad’s rule, not hers. Plus, Tyler didn’t deserve to know about the almost could have been family. Not after everything he had loved and lost. Her suffer in silence behavior had reminded her how she dreamt of a family since she miscarried, and she knew that only having a baby would fill that void that still lived deep within her. One day, she inwardly told herself, one day, Aussie.

  “I guess I better be nice to you tonight,” Michael’s voice carried through the air all of a sudden and he watched as Austin looked up i
n shocked awe. He grinned at her; he had lied saying he had to stick around in New York – regardless of her birthday – when in actual fact he was sorting out a longer stay for them all.

  Getting up, Austin wrapped her arms around his neck, “What are you doing here?” she asked him, “I thought you had to work.”

  “You’re not the only one that can sweet talk Wanslow, Aussie,” Jessica’s surprised Austin next, and smirked as Austin broke away from Michael to be greeted with Emma and Jessica. “The guys are coming in, in a moment.”

  Austin’s excitement for the evenings events only became stronger to know they had put in the effort to come here for her birthday, “Oh, goody!” Austin exclaimed and was taken into Jessica’s arms for a massive welcoming hug.

  “Exactly why are you sitting out on all the fun?” Jessica asked as she pulled away from the hug to allow Emma to wrap her arms around Austin.

  Austin shrugged, “I’m a little tired,” she admitted. Her exhaustion was the number one thing that had raised her suspicions that she could be pregnant, that and her hormonal rollercoaster, but again, her subconscious reminded her that four failed pregnancy tests didn’t lie. Her mom was scheduling a doctor’s appointment as soon as possible, regardless of her disapproval.

  “Did someone keep you up?” Emma teased as she pointed her head towards Tyler as he sauntered over and all Austin did was offer a small smirk as her eyes twinkled a little, she didn’t need to tell Jessica or Emma that Tyler had kept her awake.

  “I see you made it,” Tyler said as he came over to them. He gave the girls a hug and then shook Michael’s hand before pulling him in for a brotherly hug. “Thanks for coming.”

  “Like we would have missed Aussie getting older,” Michael teased Austin lovingly. “It’s good to see you a year closer to my age.”

  Austin tilted her head to the side, “I think I’m good before I reach prehistoric, Mike.”