Love Left Behind

by S. H. Kolee

"Where are you going?"

  Jackson looked up at me, grinning. "I can't let you walk home by yourself. My mother didn't raise a heathen."

  Jackson was continually surprising me with his thoughtfulness. I could get used to this. I grabbed my bag and we made our way downstairs in the elevator.

  "Hi, Sam," Jackson greeted the doorman.

  "Good morning, Mr. Reynard." The doorman smiled and tipped his head at me in greeting as we walked past and I smiled back weakly, flushing since it was so obvious that I was now making the walk of shame. The fact that the object of my shame was walking next to me didn't lessen the embarrassment.

  It was a beautiful morning when we stepped outside. It was early enough that the air was still crisp and the city seemed to be just waking up.

  "Do you want to take a cab or walk?"

  "Let's walk," I said, unable to stop smiling foolishly at Jackson. He looked ridiculously handsome this morning and it was hard to stop beaming. "I don't live very far away."

  Jackson took hold of my hand and we walked to my apartment, sipping coffee and talking about nothing important, commenting on the stores we passed.

  "What are you doing tonight?" Jackson asked when we were a couple of streets away from my apartment. I was thrilled that he seemed to want to spend more time with me, but I didn't want to overcommit myself and be distracted from work.

  "Probably working late," I replied. "There's a lot of stuff that my boss wants to finish up before the weekend."

  Jackson frowned but nodded. "Do you think you'll be working late tomorrow too?"

  "Probably not if I'm working late tonight." As much as I didn't want to be distracted from work, I definitely still wanted to make time for Jackson. "Why?"

  "So I can take you out to a proper dinner," Jackson said, grinning. "Afterwards, you can come see the play."

  "I was more than happy with last night's dinner, but it's a date," I said wryly. We stopped in front of the doors of my apartment building.

  "Have a good day at work," Jackson said, looking reluctant to leave.

  "Thanks. Do you work today?"

  Jackson nodded. "I have a day shift."

  "Then have fun whipping your clients into shape."

  Jackson smiled and leaned down, kissing me softly. When we broke apart, we were both breathing heavily, even from a light kiss.

  "I better leave before I follow you up the stairs and really make you late for work."

  I laughed as I walked into my building. "Bye, Jackson."

  He smiled at me with such sweetness that I felt a sudden ache in my chest.

  "Bye, Emma."

  I practically flew up the three flights of stairs as if I were floating. Only five days into my new life in New York and I was already experiencing the dizzying heights of happiness. I wanted to laugh out loud in glee.

  Claire was sitting in the living room watching TV when I walked in, which surprised me. She had always still been in bed the past few days when I had left for work.

  She looked up from the TV and smiled. "Looks like someone had a good night."

  I blushed, feeling as if Claire could see right through me and all the illicit things I had done last night.

  "Jackson's nice."

  Claire raised an eyebrow. "I think it takes more than nice to keep you out all night."

  I flopped down on the couch next to her with a deep sigh. "Okay, it was amazing. Exhilarating. Life-altering. Jackson Reynard definitely knows how to make a woman feel special."

  Claire laughed at my dramatics. "You don't have to tell me. I've been friends with Jackson long enough to know his routine."

  I sat up, feeling deflated by her words. "What do you mean?"

  Claire shook her head, looking apologetic. "I didn't mean it like that. Jackson's not some man-whore or anything. I just know the effect that he can have on women. I'd be blind not to notice it."

  "Does he date a lot?"

  "Well..." Claire responded, drawing out the word. "Like I said before, he doesn't really do serious relationships. But while he's with you, life is golden." She shrugged. "Not that I would know. We only went out on a couple of dates a million years ago. That's just what it seems like from what I've observed."

  I ignored the spurt of disappointment. What Jackson was offering was exactly what I was looking for.

  "That's fine with me. I'm just looking for some fun, nothing serious. The last thing I want to do is get into a relationship."

  Claire looked relieved. "I'm happy to hear that. I'd hate for you to be hurt once he loses interest." She bit her lip, seeming to realize how that sounded. "I mean, not that he'll lose interest. Who knows, maybe you could be the one."

  I laughed as I rose from the couch. "The only one I want to be right now is the one that's not going to be late for work."

  I took a shower and got ready for work, keeping an eye on the time. As I was emptying my purse, I noticed that I was missing my black skirt. I made a mental note to ask Jackson later if I had left it at his apartment.

  Claire was in her bedroom when I stepped out of my room, so I left without saying goodbye, not wanting to disturb her in case she had fallen back asleep.

  Work was busy as Janet gave me plenty to do. I hadn't been lying when I told Jackson that there were a lot of things that my boss wanted finished before the weekend.

  Janet left for a business lunch and I settled in my desk with a sandwich I had picked up so that I could catch up on some emails. Celeste, who wheeled over to my cubicle in her chair, interrupted me. I swore she had that chair surgically attached to her rear.

  "So how was the big date?" Celeste asked slyly. "I was disappointed that you didn't show up in the same clothes you were wearing yesterday."

  "Celeste!" I protested, but I couldn't help laughing. "You have a one track mind."

  "Well? Are you going to make me ask again?"

  I groaned but complied. I had only known Celeste for a few days, but I knew she could be doggedly persistent.

  "It was good. Actually, it was really good." I leaned back in my chair as I thought about how Jackson had made me feel. "His name is Jackson and he's actually a friend of my roommate's. It doesn't hurt that he's gorgeous and sweet and a great cook."

  "Oh, really?" Celeste interrupted gleefully. If she were a cartoon character, her eyes would be bugging out and popping out of her head on springs. "How do you know he's a great cook?"

  "After the gym we went back to his place and he made me dinner."

  Celeste sighed and leaned back in her chair. "This is why I have to live vicariously through you. I just went home and heated up leftovers for my husband."

  I laughed at Celeste's disgusted expression. "It was amazing."

  "How amazing? Clothes dropping to the floor amazing?"

  "Celeste!" I was scandalized by her bluntness and I couldn't help reddening from the accuracy of her statement.

  "Ah ha!" she exclaimed triumphantly. "I knew it! Nothing wrong with that, honey. You're young. You're allowed to have fun."

  "That's exactly what I'm looking for. Fun. Jackson seems to be looking for the same thing, so it's a perfect fit."

  Celeste frowned. "He told you that? That he was just looking for some fun?"

  "No, but my roommate has been friends with him for years. She knows him pretty well so she filled me in on the types of relationships he looks for. And he looks for the no-strings attached kind, which is good with me."

  "Did they ever date? Your roommate and Jackson."

  "They went out on a few dates when they first met, but that was years ago. They realized that they were better off as friends."

  Celeste looked unconvinced but her phone started ringing and she wheeled back to her cubicle to answer it.

  I went back to my emails when I heard my cell phone beep inside my desk drawer. I pulled it out to see that I had a text from Jackson. I felt giddy as I opened it.

  How's New York's most up-and-coming marketing executive's day going?

  Good. How's th
e city's most sought after trainer's day going?

  Average. It started out amazing, but now I'm just counting the minutes until Friday.

  I giggled like a schoolgirl, happy that Celeste wasn't around to see me grinning so foolishly.

  I'm looking forward to Friday too. Thanks for the wonderful dinner last night.

  No problem. Thanks for an incredible evening. And an amazing morning. I like waking up next to you.

  Heart-wrenchingly sweet things just seemed to roll off Jackson's tongue. Well, his fingers anyway, since he was texting. It was hard to keep a clear head when he said those kinds of things to me.

  I like waking up next to you too.

  I hit send before I could change my mind, a little shocked at my own boldness. I wasn't used to laying bare my feelings. I wondered if I felt freer to express myself because I knew this wouldn't be a long-term relationship.

  Call me when you get home from work, even if it's late.

  Okay. Talk to you later.

  I forced myself to put my cell phone back in my desk. I didn't need to be tittering like an idiot all day, checking my phone constantly to see if I had a text message from Jackson.

  Fortunately, the day was busy and I didn't have a moment to spare to think about Jackson. As I had anticipated, I worked late and didn't get home until nine-thirty. The apartment was empty when I got home and I changed quickly into shorts and a t-shirt. Janet and I had ordered dinner delivered while we worked so the only thing left to do was call Jackson.

  As I lay in bed, listening to the phone ringing, I started getting nervous. Even though I had done the most intimate of things with Jackson, we had only met a few days ago. I still felt jittery just thinking about his face above me, looking at me with passion and desire.

  "Emma." Jackson's voice was bright, as if he were happy to hear from me.

  "Hi, Jackson." I paused, unsure what to say next. "How was your day?"

  "It was okay, nothing earth-shattering. That was reserved for last night."

  I laughed, feeling some of the tension drain away from me. "You're going to give me an inflated ego if you keep saying things like that to me."

  I could practically hear Jackson grinning through the telephone. "That's not the only thing inflating when we're together."

  I groaned. "That's so corny."

  "Okay, enough of my lame come-ons," Jackson said laughing. "How was work? Did you just get home?"

  "Yeah, it was tiring but I'm still enjoying it. Fortunately, we got a lot done today so I don't have to work late tomorrow."

  "Great! Can I pick you up tomorrow at six-thirty? That way, we'll have enough time for dinner before the play. It doesn't start until nine."

  "That should be fine, but don't you need to rehearse or something beforehand?"

  "Nah. We still have rehearsals every now and then during the weekdays, but it's pretty sporadic since the show is running now."

  "Before I forget, did I leave my skirt at your place?"

  "Yup. I liked the way it looked on my floor."

  "There you go again," I said laughing. Jackson was irrepressible. "Can you bring it tomorrow?"

  "Why would I do that?" Jackson asked slyly. "It's an excuse to get you over to my apartment again."

  I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see me. "I don't need an excuse to want to come over to your place again."

  "Ah, I'm happy to hear that. Let's just say I'm holding onto your skirt as leverage."

  I smiled at Jackson's playfulness. "If you say so. How many people did you train today?"

  Jackson regaled me with funny stories about his day, from the client who refused to ride the stationery bike because it was against her vow of chastity to another client who spritzed perfume on herself every five minutes to dilute the smell of sweat, giving everyone a headache around her.

  Jackson seemed genuinely interested as he asked me about the details of my day, and about what I was working on at Mass. It was easy to talk to him. He was a good listener and made me laugh. It felt good to have someone to tell the details of my day to, from what I ate for lunch to the scandalous things Celeste said to me. It had been a while since I had someone to talk to like this. Sean and I had stopped sharing details long before we broke up, seemingly just living side by side without much interaction.

  I looked at my alarm clock, surprised that we had been on the phone for almost two hours.

  "It's almost midnight," I said. "I need to go to sleep or I'm going to be the walking dead tomorrow."

  "Alright. I'll be at your place tomorrow at six-thirty. See you tomorrow."

  "See you tomorrow," I echoed. I waited for Jackson to hang up but there was just silence. I wasn't sure if he was still on the line.

  "Hello?"

  "Hi," he answered back with a laugh.

  "Jackson, you're supposed to hang up!"

  "So are you."

  "Okay, I'm really hanging up now. It feels too junior high to argue about who's going to hang up first."

  "Okay. Sweet dreams."

  "Sweet dreams to you too."

  I hung up before I could be tempted to stay on the phone to see if Jackson was still on the line. It was as if we were reduced to puppy love teenagers reluctant to hang up the phone and break the connection.

  I steeled myself against the giddy emotions rising in me. I really needed to be careful and not get my emotions too tangled up in this. When our fling ended, I wanted to be able to be friends with Jackson. Although I didn't know how any woman could just be friends with Jackson.

  I left my bedroom to go to the bathroom to wash up for bed and saw that Claire had come home. She was sitting on the couch flipping through a magazine.

  "Hey. I didn't hear you come in."

  Claire looked up. "I just got in a few minutes ago. I met Nathan and Mia for a few drinks at Max's. What have you been up to?"

  "Not much. I got home late and then I talked to Jackson on the phone for a while. I'm ready for bed, I'm beat."

  "How's Jackson doing?"

  "Good," I said as I walked into the bathroom. I left the door open so that Claire could still hear me. "How's Nathan and Mia?"

  "The same. Nathan wanted me to remind you about his art show on Sunday."

  "Oh yeah," I said as I started wiping off my makeup with a cotton ball. "I'd love to go."

  Claire stood and leaned against the doorjamb of the bathroom, watching me. "Great. We'll all go together. It starts at six."

  I smiled at Claire in the reflection of the mirror. "Sounds good."

  Claire twirled a piece of her hair around her finger, looking thoughtful. "Nathan asked Jackson to come meet us out tonight, but he said that he couldn't because he was busy."

  I felt a little bubble of happiness that Jackson had apparently wanted to stay home for my call, but I just shrugged. "I'm not sure what he was up to before I called him."

  "Did he know that you were going to call?"

  Claire questions seemed odd and I began to wonder if she had been entirely truthful about her lack of feelings for Jackson.

  "He asked me to call him tonight when I got home from work."

  Claire suddenly smiled widely at me. "I never thought I'd see it."

  "See what?" I turned around to look at Claire.

  "I think Jackson Reynard has it bad for you!"

  I laughed, shaking my head. "We're just having fun together, that's all."

  Claire looked thoughtful. "I've never known Jackson to wait around for a girl's call. This is something more."

  "I doubt it," I said, trying not to feel excited by her words. I reminded myself that I wasn't looking for something more. At least I didn't have to worry about Claire and her feelings. She looked positively ecstatic at the possibility that Jackson saw me as more than a fling.

  "Hmm," Claire said noncommittally but her eyes were dancing.

  "Enough," I said with a laugh, holding up my hand. "You're going to make me all confused about what's going on between me and Jackson."

&
nbsp; "Okay," she said in a singsong voice, clearly not convinced. She went back to the couch and her magazine.

  "I'm going to bed," I said when I was finished washing up, flicking off the bathroom light switch. "Are you staying up?"

  Claire nodded. "I can never go to sleep right after I come home. I'm too wired. I need time to unwind."

  "Okay, goodnight."

  "Goodnight. Sweet dreams." Claire winked at me and I just smiled. It seemed like everyone was wishing me sweet dreams tonight.

  Friday dragged even though I had plenty to do during the workday. I couldn't help checking my watch every half hour, willing the time to go by faster as I excitedly anticipated seeing Jackson tonight.

  I was checking my watch again, happy that it was almost time to leave, when my intercom buzzed.

  "Hi, Janet," I said, picking up the phone.

  "Can you come in here for a minute, Emma?"

  "Sure." I grabbed my pad and pen, hoping that this wasn't something that would delay my leaving for my day. I opened Janet's door and she glanced up, motioning me in, and then looked back at the stack of papers on her desk.

  I sat down and waited while Janet finished scanning the document before her. She finally looked up, smiling.

  "How did you like your first week?"

  "It was great! Everyone's been really helpful and it's been interesting to work on your accounts."

  "I'm happy to hear that. I just wanted to let you know that I thought you did a terrific job this week. I'm glad that you took initiative on things, like researching Canonfield's competitors without me having to ask you."

  Canonfield, a pharmaceutical company, was Janet's biggest client and I knew it was her top priority, so I had done some additional research about its competitors' current drug trials for Janet to review. I was appreciative of Janet's recognition of my work. Even though she was usually in work mode, delegating responsibilities in a no-nonsense style, she reminded me that she was human with glimpses of humor and kindness.

  "Thanks, Janet. I'm really enjoying working here so far."

  "Great," Janet said with a smile. "You can leave for the day. I won't be here much longer. Have a good weekend." She looked back down at the report on her desk, clearly dismissing me.

  "You too!" I closed her office door behind me and saw Celeste's head peeping up above her cubicle wall.