Love Left Behind

by S. H. Kolee

  "Are you sure?" I asked uncertainly, not wanting to hog the biggest room just because we were a couple.

  "We won't be spending much time in the bedrooms anyway," Nathan said. "It's no problem."

  Jackson grinned at me wickedly, clearly trying to communicate that he was planning on spending plenty of time in the bedroom. I just shook my head, hoping that the others hadn't noticed his look.

  Jackson carried our suitcases up the stairs and I followed behind him as the others shuffled to their rooms as well. I immediately fell in love with our bedroom the moment Jackson opened the door. It was spacious with large windows that looked right out onto the beach and a four-poster bed that looked inviting with a soft white comforter and gigantic pillows. We had our own bathroom connected to the bedroom with a large claw-foot tub that was big enough for two people.

  "I'm not going to want to leave here," I said, plopping down on the bed and leaning against the pillows. "Let's just move here and spend our days lazing about on the beach."

  Jackson sat down next to me, pulling me close and smiling at me tenderly. "Sounds like a plan to me. I'd be happy anywhere as long as we're together."

  "You sure know how to woo a girl," I said half-jokingly. "Those sweet nothings just roll off your tongue."

  "Only for you, Emma," he said, his face serious. "I love you so much that it's sometimes hard to breathe when you're not around."

  Instead of Jackson's words scaring me, they reassured me. It was sometimes difficult to come to terms with how strongly and intensely I loved Jackson. It didn't seem right to fixate so much on one person, to feel as though life was shades of grey until he entered the room, making everything Technicolor. Although it unsettled me on some level, I was relieved that Jackson felt the same way.

  "You're not the only one," I confessed, running my hand against the stubble of his cheek. I smiled, shaking off the serious mood. "What's this good news you have?"

  "Remember the audition I went on for that role in the John Warner movie?" I nodded, remembering how excited Jackson had been to audition for the part. A casting director had seen Jackson in Choosing Matthew and had recommended that he audition for a role in the new John Warner film, an action movie that centered on government corruption. It would be a huge breakthrough for Jackson to get a role in such a high profile movie. He was especially excited about the prospect of working with John Warner, who had the reputation of making intelligent action movies that went beyond car chases and fight scenes.

  Jackson had gone to an audition held in New York about a month ago and had been disappointed when he hadn't heard anything back. He had assumed they had lost interest.

  "Mark called me today. They're flying me out to L.A. on Tuesday to meet with John Warner and audition for him. They're considering me for a supporting role. Apparently, they want some new faces."

  "That's amazing!" I squealed, hugging him tightly. Mark Steelburg was Jackson's agent and I was happy that Jackson was finally getting a chance at a big break. At the same time, I felt a hard ball of anxiety form in the pit of my stomach. If Jackson got this part, that meant he would be in California for months since the movie would be filming there. I had my job here in New York, so I didn't know how often we would get to see each other. I wondered how this would affect our relationship, but there was no way I was going to bring that up. This was Jackson's chance and I wasn't going to complain about what it would do to us. Besides, I was jumping the gun. Jackson hadn't even gotten the part yet.

  Jackson looked excited and happy. "It's not a done deal yet. It's just way more progress than I've ever had. Even if I don't get the part, it's nice to be on the radar."

  "If they're smart, you'll definitely get the part. Do you know who else is going to be in it?"

  Jackson shook his head. "Mark said they're considering a few actors for the lead role, but it hasn't been confirmed yet."

  We were both leaning against the headboard of the bed, facing each other, and he pulled me closer, wrapping one leg around mine. "Can you come with me to California?"

  I felt a flush of pleasure that Jackson wanted me with him, but I knew that was impossible. "Jackson, I can't. As much as I would love to, work is crazy. I told you about that big meeting my boss has on Tuesday. There's no way I could miss work."

  "What about after Tuesday? I'll probably be in L.A. all of next week. That's a long time." The corners of Jackson's mouth turned down, as if the prospect of being apart for a whole week was unthinkable. I smoothed away the frown with my thumb, smiling gently.

  "Jackson, you know I would love to go with you if I could. I just can't right now. Besides, you'll be way too busy to have me trailing behind you."

  Jackson turned and leaned his back against the headboard with a sigh, pulling me with him so that I was nestled against his side. "I was pretty sure that you would say no because of work. I just thought I'd try asking." He paused for a few seconds and then continued.

  "What if I get the part?" Jackson asked, sounding uncertain. "Mark said if I get the role they're considering me for, I could be gone for as long as five months."

  My stomach dropped at Jackson's words, but I tried not to show it, covering my reaction with a smile. "That's a long time, but we'll get through it somehow. We'll probably rack up a lot of frequent flier miles."

  Jackson was silent for a few beats and I was hoping that he wouldn't push the issue. The last thing I wanted was to have this conversation at the start of a holiday weekend, but Jackson had a determined look on his face.

  "Emma," he started, looking serious. "I know work is important to you. I understand and appreciate that, but we can't have a relationship while we're on different coasts. Especially since this role could lead to other parts."

  I pulled back, feeling a spark of irritation start to flame. I knew this was Jackson's dream, but it felt unfair to have him put this kind of pressure on me.

  "What are you saying, Jackson? Are you saying that if you get this part and I don't go with you, we're over?" My voice trembled over the last words, anger and fear making my voice unsteady.

  Jackson grabbed my hands, his eyes flashing. "Christ, Emma. No. That's not what I'm saying. How could you even think that? I'm just saying that I can't imagine being on the opposite side of the country from you for so long."

  He pulled me close, nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck and breathing deeply. "You're my life, Emma. Don't ever think that I would want to break up. I'd do anything to make sure we stayed together."

  I threaded my hands in Jackson's hair and pulled his face gently back so that he was looking at me.

  "I think we're getting a little ahead of ourselves. Why don't we figure out what we're going to do once you get the part?"

  "If I get the part," Jackson countered with a small smile.

  I grinned at him and gave him a quick kiss. "Like I said, if they're intelligent, you'll get the part."

  Jackson's smile faded as he gazed at me, looking somber. I opened my mouth to ask him what was wrong, but before I could utter a word, his lips were on mine and I forgot about any words I had been about to say.

  His hand slipped under my skirt while he continued kissing me, his tongue stroking mine. I whimpered when I felt his fingers slip under the band of my panties and slowly stroke my wetness, dipping his fingers into me. My hips bucked against his hand of their own accord as I deepened the kiss, wanting every part of me to be marked by him.

  "Always like this," Jackson muttered against my mouth. He flicked my sensitive bud with his finger, stroking it rhythmically as I lifted my hips, circling against his hand and feeling the desperate need for release. "We'll always be like this. Promise me."

  "I promise," I choked out. Jackson continued stroking my swollen bud, knowing just the right pressure to send me over the edge. I felt the tide of sensation about to crest and Jackson kissed me fiercely, swallowing my cries of pleasure and continuing to stroke me until I fell back limply in his arms.

  I looked up at him after I
caught my breath, stroking his cheek and wanting to reassure him. I could feel his worry about the future, but I had spent enough of my life planning a future to know that it didn't take much to make those plans come crashing down.

  "I love you, Jackson. That's all that matters. We'll figure out the rest."

  Jackson smiled and I saw his troubled eyes clear of uncertainty. "I love you too, Emma. You're right, we'll figure it out."

  I raised my head to kiss him when there was a knock on the door. I jumped, startled by it, and frantically pushed Jackson's hand from under my skirt. He just grinned wickedly, not seeming to care that we were about to be interrupted in a compromising position.

  I glared at him, telling him with my eyes to behave. I got up from the bed, but Jackson just laid back against the pillows, his arms crossed behind his head with a satisfied smirk on his face.

  "Come in," I called out, hoping that I didn't look too flushed.

  The door opened and Claire stuck her head in. "Hey, sorry to bother you, but we thought we would just stay in tonight since it's late and grill outside. Are you guys in?"

  Claire opened the door wider and walked into the bedroom, her eyes moving from Jackson to me. I unconsciously smoothed my skirt down but stilled when I saw Claire's gaze stop on my hand.

  "Sure, that sounds great!" I replied brightly, trying to hide my mortification, feeling like it was glaringly obvious that we had been in the middle of something hot and heavy.

  Claire nodded, her eyes unreadable. "Just come out whenever you're ready. We'll get started."

  When the door closed behind her, I grimaced at Jackson who was still lying on the bed looking unperturbed. "That was so embarrassing. I bet she could tell we had been doing something."

  Jackson got up from the bed, grinning as he leaned down and kissed me. "Who cares? We're all adults here. I doubt they think we're going to be playing Monopoly in here."

  "We're not going to talk about this anymore," I said firmly. Intellectually, I knew that it was no big deal but a little part of me was still a prude and didn't want the others thinking we were having wild crazy sex in here. Not that it would prevent me from having wild crazy sex with Jackson. Nothing could prevent that.

  "Let's go outside then. I'm starving." Jackson paused before opening the door. "Don't mention my audition to the others. I don't want to say anything unless I actually get the part."

  I nodded, understanding that Jackson didn't want to get everyone excited for something that might not happen. We joined the others out on the back porch and all thoughts of embarrassment dissipated as I sat back in a chair, breathing in the sea air and feeling content. We had asked the caretaker to fill the kitchen with groceries before we arrived, so Jackson and Nathan were busy manning the grill, assuring us that the men would take care of dinner tonight.

  Mia sat down next to me and handed me a cold beer.

  "Thanks," I said, taking a long sip. I sighed, looking around. "Life doesn't get much better than this, huh?"

  Mia nodded, the slight breeze causing her dark brown hair to flutter around her face. She propped the heel of one foot on the edge of her chair, leaning her head against her folded leg.

  "It really is perfect. The crazy city seems so far away here. I love New York, but sometimes the pace can get tiring. Sometimes I just want to look up and see trees. And not just when I'm in Central Park."

  "Would you ever consider leaving?" I asked. I was surprised hearing this from Mia. I thought of her as a diehard New Yorker and couldn't understand how someone could get sick of New York. Then again, Mia had lived here a lot longer than I had. I could imagine how the pace and crowds could get tiring after a while.

  Mia smiled ruefully. "Probably not. Don't listen to me. After a couple of days, I'll be itching to get back into the city."

  I nodded towards Claire who was on the beach, close to the water's edge. I wasn't sure why she was off on her own when the rest of us were on the porch. Her figure looked solitary and lonely. "Is Claire okay?"

  "I'm sure she's fine," Mia said, rolling her eyes. "Like I said before, she's moody. She'll be the life of the party thirty minutes from now."

  Mia and I chatted about her favorite places in the Hamptons since she was a frequent visitor until Jackson and Nathan announced that dinner was served. Nathan called Claire over to join us and we settled around the table on the back porch. Nathan and Jackson had grilled steaks, as well as some potatoes and asparagus.

  "Everything tastes amazing," I said as I dug into my food. I smiled at Jackson. "Compliments to the chef."

  Nathan cleared his throat and I turned to him, my smile widening. "To both chefs, of course."

  Nathan grinned widely, but Mia groaned. "Don't encourage him, Emma. If Nathan was left to his own devices, he would have burned everything and called it Cajun style."

  "That was just one time," Nathan protested. "And it did taste kind of Cajun after you cut away the burnt parts."

  This led into a discussion about whose culinary skills were the best. I was content just to listen, feeling happy and full as the voices chattered around me. Jackson caught my eye every now and then, giving me an amused wink as Nathan's defense of his cooking got louder. Claire was sitting on the other side of me and had been silent for most of dinner, just picking at her food.

  "Are you okay?" I asked in a low voice, although it wasn't necessary since the others were talking so loudly.

  "I'm fine," Claire replied, smiling. "Just a little tired. It was a long drive and I think my fatigue is killing my appetite."

  "I wish I had that problem," I said with a self-deprecating laugh. "Nothing kills my appetite."

  Claire just nodded and turned back to her food, although she didn't do much besides poke her steak with her fork. I decided to let her be. She didn't seem to be in the mood to talk and nothing was more annoying than having someone bug you when you kept insisting you were okay.

  After dinner, Nathan suggested taking a walk on the beach but Claire claimed exhaustion and went to her room, saying she was going to bed early so she would be refreshed for tomorrow.

  "I'm pretty beat too," Jackson said, stretching his arms above his head. I opened my mouth to say I wasn't tired at all, but Jackson just grabbed my hand.

  "Goodnight," I called out to Nathan and Mia as Jackson dragged me up the stairs, not leaving me much choice in the matter.

  When we got to our bedroom, I crossed my arms against my chest. "I'm not tired," I said with a frown.

  Jackson waggled his eyebrows. "Neither am I."

  I couldn't help giggling at Jackson's silly suggestive gesture, but when he pulled me onto the bed and slid my panties down my legs, I was no longer laughing. And I wasn't laughing when we had the wild crazy sex that I had been looking forward to earlier.

  Chapter Nine

  The next morning we decided to go to a local cafe for brunch on Mia's recommendation. She raved about the food there and she was right. The apple cinnamon waffles I ordered were out of this world and Jackson promised to try to replicate the recipe back home.

  Claire seemed to be back in good spirits and she and Mia decided to spend the afternoon shopping. I insisted that Jackson go to the beach with Nathan while I went back to the house to work for a few hours. He wanted to go back with me, but I knew he would just be a distraction. Besides, the last thing I wanted Jackson to do was waste time sitting around just because I had to work.

  Back at the house, I powered up my laptop in the living room and got to work. The changes in the presentation were time consuming and I had to go over it again and again to make sure it flowed correctly. I breathed a sigh of relief when I was finished. I emailed a copy to Janet and saved a copy to a disk.

  I checked the time and saw two hours had passed. I was about to pick up my phone to call Jackson to see where he was when I heard the front door open. Claire walked in with several shopping bags.

  "I see you had a successful shopping trip," I said, indicating the bags in her hands. Claire set th
e bags by the couch and sat down with a tired sigh.

  "Most of these are Mia's bags. She went on a shopping spree."

  "Where is she?"

  "She wanted to join Jackson and Nathan at the beach, so I told her I'd bring her bags back since I was tired and wanted to take a nap." Claire rolled her eyes. "I didn't realize all those pairs of shoes she bought would feel as heavy as bricks."

  I laughed as I stretched my back, tight after being hunched over the computer so long. "I think I'm going to go join them on the beach. Do you know where they are exactly?"

  Claire nodded, pointing to the back porch. "They're on Main Beach. Just go out and take a right. You'll be right on top of them in about a quarter of a mile."

  "Thanks," I said, closing my computer. "I'm going to go change. Are you sure you don't want to come with me?"

  "No thanks," Claire said. "I need a nap if I'm going to be able to keep my eyes open tonight."

  We had been invited to a lobster bake on the beach by one of Mia's friends and I was ecstatic at the prospect. However, I had plenty of energy to last me well into the evening and I was eager to see Jackson.

  I went upstairs, taking my laptop and papers with me, and quickly changed into a bathing suit, throwing shorts and a t-shirt over them. I had bought a new bikini with Jackson in mind. It was red and mini, scraps of fabric barely holding in my curves and generous chest.

  It was easy to find them on the beach and Jackson's eyes lit up when he saw me. I felt a warmth inside me as I approached him, soaking in his gorgeousness. His dark hair was wet and slicked back and there were beads of water on his muscled arms and chest, probably from having just gotten out of the water. I had to resist the urge to lap up the water with my tongue and pull down his green swim trunks to see what else I could use my tongue on.

  I tried to clear my head of those thoughts, especially since Nathan and Mia were stretched out on towels next to him. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of envy at Mia's body. Years of being a ballerina had obviously given her an amazing figure. She was long and lean and her blue bikini showed off every asset. Nathan was no slump in the body category either, his heavy muscles gleaming with sweat and suntan lotion.