The River of Time (The Shiva XIV Series Book 4)

by Lyra Shanti

  Axis gulped, mulling over his uncle’s words. “Yes, I will,” he replied, reaching for Raxas’ hand, “and thank you for explaining what you know. It’s helped me more than I can say.”

  Uncle and nephew looked at each other with serious, earnest eyes as they embraced, arm in arm. “It’s the least I can do at this point,” said Raxas. “I really am sorry, Xam. I know you’re not truly him anymore, but I need him to accept my apology. I really did love your mother, and I never wished her, or you, any harm.”

  “She was your wife for a while, wasn’t she?” Axis nervously pried.

  Raxas nodded and said, “Yes… my wife and my sister. We were arranged to be mated at birth, but I truly loved her. Sarax have soul-mates, however, and I suppose she felt Adin was hers. Unfortunately, he ended up choosing another. He always seemed a fickle human to me, but I suppose I never really knew him. I realize now that he must have been a great man for so many to have followed and loved him the way they did. I used to think I knew the universe and its mysteries; I used to believe myself above most. But now… I see that I am merely one being amongst the stars. I do not know everything, nor would I want to. I only wish I could apologize to Siya… but she is far away from me now. And unlike you, she reincarnated the old-fashioned way.”

  “So she died?” said Axis with pained eyes.

  “Yes… she went to find you, but died in the process. I can no longer feel her spirit near me. However, I think she is reborn… somewhere far away, perhaps in another galaxy.”

  Axis bit his lip and asked, “Could you not go back in time… so you can apologize? It wouldn’t cause a paradox, would it?”

  “It might, it might not,” replied Raxas. “However, Siya was not one for apologies, especially ones that come from an event she has yet to know about. I prefer to wait, my dear boy, until she and I meet again in more natural circumstances.” Raxas raised his brow and smirked, adding, “You haven’t seen a red-haired woman with a fiery spirit in your time, have you?”

  Axis gave it a thought and could only think of one woman, though he didn’t know her that well. “Yeah, there’s a Krian warrior like that, but I’m not sure she’s Xam’s mother. I would feel it, wouldn’t I? There would be a familiarity, right?”

  Raxas nodded and said, “Yes, there usually is, although… she may not be what you remember her as. Remember, my boy, we change from life to life, both physically and mentally. Sometimes, it is difficult to see someone’s soul right away.”

  “Yeah, I guess,” replied Axis, “but… I don’t feel very different from who I was before.”

  Raxas smiled and said, “You are quite different, actually. You are far more patient and respectful. It is a nice change.”

  Axis laughed and exclaimed, “Wow, won’t Srah be surprised!”

  Raxas raised his brow and quietly said, “I assume that is Irix you speak of, but in your own time.”

  “Yeah…” said Axis, his smile instantly conquered with worry. “I really do have to get back to her… and our two beautiful children.”

  Raxas nodded decidedly. “That is that,” he stated. “Come with me, Axis. It is time you learned to travel into time and space.”

  Axis kept the pace with his uncle as they flew up to the top of the Hana-Lo mountain. Raxas then stretched his great red wings and loudly commanded, “Let us fly, Axis, into the stars!”

  Feeling excited, yet a little terrified, Axis expanded his golden wings and followed Raxas up, up into the mighty heavens of space.

  --

  Staring up at the blue Sirin sky, she was trying her best to avoid his gaze. Please, stop looking at me, she begged in her mind, especially when the children are watching us.

  Kren couldn’t help himself, however, for he was madly in love with his beloved queen, and even adored her children, almost as if they were his own. They loved him in return, though they missed their true father.

  “Momma?” asked Rax.

  “Yes, sweetheart?” replied Srah as she knelt down to reach his size.

  “When is Daddy coming home?”

  The question stung deep inside her soul. “I… don’t know, honey,” she nervously replied, “but you know your father. He needs to travel sometimes, but I’m sure he’ll be home soon.”

  Rax frowned, then ran off to the slide of the newly built Sirin City playground. It was opening day, but it was already quite the attraction as the park filled up with children from the five registered Sirini tribes.

  Trying her best to ignore Rax’s uneasy question, Srah took a deep breath and looked over her new park.

  “The playground is wonderful,” said Kren as he approached his treasured queen. “This was a beautiful idea, Your Majesty,” he added with a smile.

  “Yes,” she agreed, “the children seem happy, which gives me hope for our people, and our planet.”

  “Srah…” said Kren, “you have given hope to everyone on Sirin. You have birthed our planet anew with the seed of life and given our people the strength to believe in ourselves once again. Also, your speech earlier made people cry. Nicely done.”

  She turned to him and grinned. “Well,” she said with a slight giggle, “you helped me write it, so I suppose you should take some credit for yourself, General.”

  He smiled and gave a wink, then said, “There is nothing we cannot achieve together, my Hana.”

  Almost immediately, she panicked. Oh, Gods, no, she silently pleaded, don’t look at me like that. Why do you always have to look at me with such handsome, hungry eyes?

  It had been two days since they finally broke down and made love, and she still felt horribly guilty. Yet, she also felt somewhat justified. After all, her husband had been gone for months without a word, and she had no idea when, or if, he’d return.

  One night of passion would have been easy to forget with someone of less importance, but with Kren, she knew it wouldn’t be just one accidental night of pleasure. With him, she felt a deep love and friendship, and an undeniable physical attraction. Plus, he was everything Axis was not: thoughtful, dependable, and decisive. However, he was not her husband, nor was he her soul-mate. Her heart ached with confusion, and she wished she was anywhere but at a crowded park with hundreds of people looking at her for inspiration.

  She sat in the newly built wooden bleachers, which had been made for upcoming sports events, but were being used at the moment for a proper shady spot for the queen and her entourage. Watching Thali and Rax play with other children of their age made her yearn even more for her husband to return. When Axis comes home, she told herself, I will be strong enough to deny Kren, and everything will be right and good again. I just have to hold on… and believe he will come back.

  The wind blew her soft, lavender hair as she watched her people enjoying themselves in the park. Unexpectedly, tears fell down the sides of her soft, pale cheeks.

  “Srah? Are you alright?” asked Kren, instantly worried.

  She sniffed and quickly wiped her face. “I’m fine,” she replied. “I just feel a little overwhelmed at seeing our planet thriving like this.”

  Kren nodded and said, “Yes… and it’s all because of you, my Hana.”

  “No, General,” she corrected him, “you had a big hand in carrying out my orders. Not to mention that King Ayn gave us so much aid to begin with. There are many people to thank for the progress of our beloved planet, including the tribes’ chiefs, such as Joh, your wonderful grandfather. I am very grateful to him, and to the strength of our entire people.”

  Kren smiled as strands of his braided red hair blew in the wind. “I am as well,” he replied while moving in closer to where she stood, “but no need for another speech, my queen - not for me anyway.”

  She felt his warmth against the side of her dress and instantly felt a tingle run through her body.

  “I know how you feel, Srah,” he whispered in her ear, “for I feel exactly the same.”

  His breath made her lightheaded as she felt him place his hand lightly against her back.
For a moment, she was caught in the heat of their bodies, though she soon shook herself out of the spell.

  “Kren,” she said, turning to face him, “please, do not stand this close to me… especially when in public.”

  His reddish-brown eyes squinted as he took a step backward. “I am sorry, my queen,” he said, returning to an official sounding tone.

  “I don’t want people to get the wrong idea about us,” she added. “It’s bad enough my husband has not yet returned. I am sure they question their Sarax king. I don’t need them questioning me as well.”

  Kren folded his arms and turned to face the playground of people. “Yes,” he said in a cold, slightly offended voice, “of course, Your Majesty.”

  She knew she was hurting his feelings; she could sense it. Unfortunately, she didn’t know what else to do. Any moment, she worried she could fall right back into his strong, brown arms. It was a one-time only mistake, she convinced herself, and one that I will not let myself repeat.

  Looking over at Kren, she thought she saw tears forming in his eyes. His stoic, manly face showed no signs of emotion, but his mahogany eyes told a different story. I’m so sorry, my dear friend, she silently told him, I just can’t fully give myself to you. I just… can’t.

  As if hearing her thoughts, he turned to face her and gave a hint of a smile, despite his sad eyes. He nodded, then looked ahead, somehow stopping his tears from being born.

  Srah wished she could give herself to him, but as long as there was even a small chance of Axis returning, she would not allow herself to be anyone else’s woman.

  Watching her children as they jumped and played, she saw her husband’s spirit within them, and it gave her affirmation, and hope. He’s still alive, she argued against her own doubt, and I know he will return. Axis, I believe in you! Please... come home!

  --

  “I’m sorry,” he tenderly said, “I have no choice. I have a family in my time. I must go back to them.”

  Irix shook her head, holding back tears. “No, it’s not fair. My father is only making you do this to separate us again! Don’t you see that?”

  Axis sighed and said, “It’s not just him, my love, it’s my choice too. I have children, you know? I have a wife… and I think she is your reincarnation. Would you want me to leave her, and them?”

  She bit her lip and cried, pulling at the ends of her strawberry-colored hair. “I don’t know!” she yelled. “I just want you to stay! I’m certain I’m pregnant, and I feel it’s a boy. Doesn’t my child deserve to have his father?”

  Axis rubbed the back of his neck and blurted, “I’m sorry, but I can’t stay!”

  Irix turned away from him and folded her arms. “Fine,” she angrily replied, fighting tears, “go back to your time, if you must. But when your son asks who you are, and where you’ve gone, what do I tell him? When he asks if you loved him, what shall I say? Do I tell him you didn’t love either of us enough to stay?”

  Axis shook his head, then turned her around to face him. “No,” he firmly stated, “you will tell him the truth - that I came from your future, but I had to return or I may cause a paradox. Please, Irix, you have to understand why I must go.”

  “I can’t!” she broke, grabbing at his chest. “You’re mine! You’re my Xam!”

  He let her cry for a few moments, then lifted her chin and said, “My sweet love, please, listen to me. Although I can still feel his feelings for you, and I have some of his memories, I am no longer Xam. I am another person now, and I have a destiny in my own time. I sense that my soul-father needs me, and so does my wife. Her name is Srah, and if you let yourself feel the truth, I’m sure you’ll realize she is you reborn. Please, honey, let me go.”

  Irix took short breaths and wiped her tears. She looked up at him with watery eyes and said, “I will let you go… but why now? Can you not at least wait until after our son is born?”

  “No,” he said, holding her cheek in his hand, “for I’d never be able to leave. I must go now… while I still feel the possibility. Raxas says I am ready and that now is the right time, and I trust him.”

  “I wish I did,” she said with a scowl.

  He softly laughed and held her in his arms. “I will never forget you, my beloved,” he gently purred, “and if there is a way to return to this time - once I have complete control over my traveling - I will visit again to see you, and my son.”

  “You promise?” she asked with pleading eyes.

  “Of course,” he replied, grabbing her close in his arms. In truth, he really wasn’t sure about the trip through time, nor did he want to leave. He loved Irix immeasurably, especially her feisty and proud nature, only somewhat present in Srah. He also adored the Sarax castle with its old paintings, ancient lineage, and history. The planet itself was alive and fresh, the way it was before the Ohrians came and ruined it all, and it felt like home.

  However, he felt how much he was needed in his own time. He knew the longer he stayed, the more he would lose sense of how to get back. Raxas had been training him to see the points of light and sound within plasma, and if he didn’t go while his soul felt it was right, the points wouldn’t align, and he might get stuck in the past forever.

  Slowly, he pulled away from Irix’s arms. He then gently kissed her lips and said, “I will always love you, in this, or any time.”

  “I will not say goodbye,” she sadly whispered. “I will only say until we see each other again.”

  He nodded and smiled, then turned for the door. About to leave her bedroom, Axis felt jabbing doubt pierce his stomach. What if I don’t make it back to my time? What if I leave, and can never return? What if this is a huge mistake?!

  Taking one last look at her, he saw her teary-eyed as she blew him a kiss. “Make my reincarnation, and our future kids happy,” she commanded.

  He smiled and nodded, feeling resolved. “I swear I will,” he said before leaving her sight.

  Walking down the grand hallway of the castle, Axis felt his stomach knotted tight. He wished he could turn off his emotions and fears, at least long enough for the big flight into time and space. Unfortunately, he knew Raxas was waiting for him at the front gate of the castle, and there was no room for error or his uncle would know.

  I can’t let him down, thought Axis. I can’t let anyone down! I have to do this!

  Meeting up with Raxas, who was standing by the gate with folded arms, he said, “Alright, I’m ready.”

  “You told her?” asked his uncle.

  “Yes,” replied Axis, “I am free to fly. Let’s go.”

  “Good,” said Raxas as they walked up the mountain. “Now remember, once we get to the outer reaches of this time-line, you are on your own. I must stay here in my time. I will be with you, though, in your mind. Choose to hear me, and I will still be able to communicate to you… if you need me.”

  “I’m ready, Uncle. I can do this.”

  Proud of his nephew, Raxas smiled and put his large hand on Axis’ shoulder. “Alright, my boy, let us fly!”

  Transforming into their full Sarax bodies, they extended their giant wings, then shot up into the sky. Axis felt his power welling up within his chest. It guided him onward and up, deep into the heavens. As they pushed through Sirin’s atmosphere and into the plasmic liquid of the galaxy, Raxas mentally said, “Now, remember, think of your time. Don’t let go of that point of feeling - no matter what! Soon, you will see the waves of space. When you feel the point of familiarity within the plasma, jump through. Don’t look back and don’t question. Just go!”

  Axis nodded and focused all his mind into the things he knew: Srah’s lavender eyes, his children’s giggles, and most of all, Ayn’s strong, but sensitive voice. Flying straight and true, Axis felt his body shifting, almost unintentionally. He was flying toward his time-line, leaving the past behind.

  “Goodbye, Uncle,” he said in his mind.

  “Until we see each other in the future!” Raxas replied.

  The next thing Axis knew,
his body was changing, conforming to help him fly through the universe’s ocean of space. He felt larger and more like a real Sarax. Trying his best to concentrate, despite the change, he saw lights flickering inside the waves of the plasma force-field around him. Is this my own time? he asked himself as he swam inside the current. It feels right… I think this is it!

  Taking no chances, he pushed his body through the current, flying as hard as he could without fear. This is it! he thought. I’m almost home! I can feel it! Father, I feel your soul! Hold on! I’m almost there!

  As he entered the familiarity of time, he instantly felt something wrong. Wait! he silently exclaimed. Ayn is here, but… he’s not alright. What is this feeling? Is he... dying?! No! I will save you, Father!

  Everything felt strangely familiar, and yet, not right.

  Pushing through the folds of space and time, Axis found himself hovering in the clouds of a city he only vaguely remembered. It was night, and the city streets were wet with rain.

  I know this, he silently stated. How do I know this? Looking at the streets from up above, his enlarged Sarax eyes could see a tiny, furry object, cowering under a parked hover-car.

  Oh, my Gods, thought Axis. This can’t be possible!

  Hearing a very familiar voice, it all came back to him as if it were yesterday.

  “Fine! Don’t answer!” said the little cat-bird in emotional anguish. “You give me no choice but to stop believing in any of you!”

  Oh, Gods, how did I manage to arrive here at this point in time? Axis scolded himself in the clouds. I’m the worst Sarax ever!

  “I deny that I even come from you!” howled the small creature in the streets, “I am just a weird cat thing… and I am all alone in the darkness. No one cares if I even exist!”

  His pain resonated inside Axis’ heart, forcing him to move closer to the child version of himself. No, he panicked, why am I doing this? I can’t get too close, or I’ll possibly cause a paradox!

  Unable to stop himself, he flew to the crying little Sarax and felt his pain as his own. Not wanting to feel the heartache of his past all over again, he picked up the wailing child in his large hands, then gently rocked him to and fro.