Carnal (Her Dark Desires #1)

by Lola Taylor

  “I like being unpredictable.”

  I smiled at him. “Sounds dangerous.”

  “I like danger too.”

  “I can tell,” I drawled. “You’re a regular thrill-seeker, dating me and all.”

  He chuckled. “I plan on taking you on a regular date sometime.”

  “Really?” I asked, unable to hide my hopeful lilt.

  He nodded. “Movie, dinner, moonlit strolls along the beach, all of it.”

  I sighed happily. “It sounds so… human.”

  His squeezed my hand, then let go as a group of people turned the corner.

  I practically skipped the rest of the way to the dean’s office, that is until I walked in and had the smile knocked right off my face by Dean Prescott’s curt greeting.

  “There you are, finally,” he said, scowling. “I thought maybe you’d decided to leave before we formally discharge you day after tomorrow.”

  All the air sucked out of the room. “Discharge? As in leave?”

  Prescott sat down at his desk, straightening his tie. “That’s generally what the term means.”

  No. No, I couldn’t leave yet, not when things were going so well with Hector and me. I looked to him for answers, but his face was emotionless. All except his eyes. They bore the weight of the dean’s decision. “Is it true? You’re letting me go?”

  Prescott rolled his eyes. “Try not to sound so disappointed, Ms. Sanders. I swear, you women are all the same. Every one of you falls in love with Professor Aurelius, and we have to practically kick you out.”

  “Every one of you…” I remembered what the guard had said, about me being another one of Hector’s conquests. “I bet you do,” I murmured.

  Could I really have been just another girl to him? Was I that blind?

  Please don’t let it be true.

  Hector looked like he wanted to argue, but Prescott cut him off. “Have a seat, both of you,” he snapped. “I have a meeting to be at in five minutes.”

  Wishing I could snatch Hector away and sort this out right now, I resigned myself to sitting in one of the drab leather chairs across from Prescott’s desk.

  Prescott leaned forward, a stack of papers in front of him. “As you know, each enrollee has to pass an exit exam before given clearance to return to their jobs. Yours is simple: a live performance tomorrow night, where you will seduce and bed a willing stranger before a panel.”

  My jaw dropped. “What? You can’t be serious.”

  Prescott stared at me. “Does it look like I’m laughing?”

  “Hec-er - Professor Aurelius?”

  Hector gave me a broken smile. “All succubi and incubi have to do this. It’s always been the final test, in some form. It was going to happen eventually.”

  I caught his buried meaning. Regardless of how we felt about each other.

  My spine slumped, like I suddenly had rocks stacked on my back. “But it’s not fair. I’m not ready.”

  “Your scores speak otherwise. You’ve made quite the improvement, and in record time.” Prescott pointed at the stack of papers before him. My record, I realized. “Either way, you will leave when I say you are ready to go, and you will perform this test to get out. Otherwise, you’ll be banished from the supernatural community.”

  I shot out of my chair, nearly tipping it backward. “You can’t do that! Only Elias can-”

  “Mr. Hex is not the leader of Elysian,” Prescott growled, rising and staring me in the eyes with equal fire. “You will do as I say, or be exiled. Is that clear?”

  A heavy lump formed in my throat as I realized I didn’t have much of a choice. Mutely, I nodded. “Is that all?”

  Prescott waved his hand. “Get out. I’m done with you. Stay, Aurelius. There’s something I need to discuss with you.”

  Hector sat back down, his hands clenching the armrests.

  His eyes met mine briefly and he nodded.

  I lingered a moment longer before at last turning away, my steps significantly heavier than when I’d entered the room.

  NOT HAVING ANYWHERE ELSE to go, I returned to Hector’s suite and paced the length of the room. I couldn’t leave - I wasn’t ready to. I could feel my heart breaking at every step as I realized I wouldn’t get to see Hector nearly as much. That my seemingly “perfect” relationship was falling apart as quickly as it had entered my life.

  Feeling restless and needing to talk it out with someone, I called up Angela. She agreed to meet me after her first lesson. About an hour later, Hector still hadn’t returned. I had nearly chewed my nails off with worry before Angela showed up. Hugging her and thanking her for coming, we sat down on Hector’s couch, making sure others couldn’t hear us. Hector had assured me the room had been magically soundproofed, but I wasn’t taking any chances.

  Quickly, I briefed Angela over Dean Prescott’s ultimatum, and she winced.

  “That sucks, Sally,” Angela said, giving me a sympathetic smile. “But at least you’re getting out of here and returning to the real world.”

  “That’s just it,” I said. “I don’t want to return to the real world.”

  She studied me. “Is it because of him?”

  I appreciated her attempt at discretion. “Yes, mostly. And because I hate my job, I hate my boss, and I feel like my life isn’t going anywhere.”

  “Maybe this is good,” she said, pouring herself another glass of wine. “You could start over.”

  “I’ve fantasized about it,” I said. “But I’m not sure where to start. My resume isn’t all that impressive.”

  “Surely you must have something you’re good at, some kind of hobby.”

  I thought about it, then perked up. “I really enjoy fighting. Hector says I’m one of the best straight-in fighters he’s seen.”

  “There you go! Maybe you could teach self-defense classes for sups?”

  That nugget lodged itself in my brain. Running my own life sounded amazing. I could be free of Elias, free to make my own way in the world, just like Raoul. I could drop my gig at Vixens and pick up regular part-time work. I sighed, feeling overwhelmed but excited at once. “One of my roommates back home is an entrepreneur. I’ll pick his brain and see what I’m getting myself into first.”

  Angela smiled. “That’s my girl.”

  I stared glumly at my empty wineglass. “It’s going to be hard to let Hector go.”

  “Who says you have to let him go? People do long-distance relationships all the time.”

  “But they’re hard. That’s why so few of them work out.”

  She shrugged. “It’s not impossible. It’ll take work, yeah, but it depends on how badly the two of you want it.”

  How badly we wanted it. I’d never felt this way about anyone before. Hector was funny, kind, and supportive. Being hot as hell also helped, but that wasn’t what I loved most about him.

  I loved him.

  I smiled but didn’t say anything.

  Just then, the door opened and a harried Hector walked in.

  Angela gulped down the rest of her wine and hastily stood. “I, er, forgot I have some homework to do,” she mumbled, then gave him a wave and scurried off.

  I rose, not sure I could count on my legs to hold me up. “What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  He chuckled. “They’re actually a pretty boring lot, ghosts.” Then his expression turned serious. “I’m sorry, Sally.”

  I crossed my arms. “You knew this would happen.”

  He didn’t deny it.

  I tapped my foot, thinking back to what the soldiers in the bunker had said. “Has this all just been a game to you? Am I just another conquest you can get rid of with the test to save your job?”

  “What? No! I’ve never thought of you that way!”

  “The dean implied all your students fall in love with you.”

  “That doesn’t mean I’m in love with them. Sally.” He gripped my arms. “You’re a miracle. I didn’t even know I was capable of loving again until you entered
my life.”

  That tamed my anger. My shoulders sagged. “I’m sorry for biting your head off. This whole situation sucks. Why is he making me take the test so soon? I don’t have any time to prepare! It’s like he wants me to fail.”

  “That’s because he does.”

  I blinked. “Excuse me?”

  “The D.P.I. wrote up the school for violating several safety regulations, faulty spells included. That’ll hit our business score pretty hard and reflect poorly on Prescott. His head’s already been on the chopping block, and this will give the board the ammunition they need to fire him.” He pointed to me. “Unless he can prove you were an inept student to begin with. It’ll look better to expel you and claim you were a failed exile and mostly responsible for his failures than for him to look in the mirror and judge himself. He’s desperate.”

  “I - but - he can’t do that! That’s bullshit!”

  “That’s politics,” Hector said gravely.

  I sat down with a plunk, stunned. “What will happen to you if I fail?”

  Hector studied the floor. “That’s actually what he wanted to talk to me in private about. Prescott’s been trying to get rid of me for years because he doesn’t like the amount of loyalty I have from the other staff. I’m a threat, especially after there was talk of making me dean. Lucky for him, they couldn’t pay me to do that job. I’m fine where I’m at. And besides, the board has always been on my side when Prescott’s run my name through the mud in attempts to get me axed, so he hasn’t been very successful.”

  “Unless I royally screw up and provide him with an excuse to get rid of both of us at once.”

  Hector’s lack of a response confirmed my worst fears.

  I swore. “This isn’t fair! He’s not going to get away with it.”

  “Then don’t let him.”

  A cold shiver went through me, and I swallowed hard. “I can’t do it. I can’t sleep with someone else, especially not with you watching.”

  Hector sighed and sat down beside me. “We don’t have a choice, Sally.”

  I shot to my feet. “Of course we have a choice! We have a choice not to put up with this crap!”

  He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s not as simple as simply refusing. In fact, a refusal to go through with the exam is an automatic failure and always results in expulsion and exile.”

  “I…” I didn’t know what to say. I felt like my life was slowly closing in on me, trapping me and leaving me with nowhere else to run. “I can’t do it. I can’t…”

  Hector rose and hugged me fiercely. “It’ll be all right. I promise. I’ll be there with you every step of the way.”

  I clung to him as if he’d vanish if I let go. “I’m not strong enough to do this.”

  He lifted my chin. “You’re one of the strongest people I know. Not many could have endured what you’ve endured and still face every day with as much determination and spunk as you have. You can do this.”

  The unspoken, “You have to,” lingered between us, creating a wall I felt growing thicker with every second. “I need some air.”

  Hector kissed my forehead and reluctantly let me go.

  I couldn’t bring myself to look back as I walked away, unwilling to face the fact that tomorrow night I’d be forced to sleep with a total stranger, all while my beloved looked on, unable to do a damn thing about it.

  Chapter 15

  TURNED OUT, HECTOR CHANGED his mind about the whole thing by the next day. He tried convincing me no less than fifty times to not go through with this, to run away with him. He said he didn’t care about his job – he couldn’t watch me make love to another man. Though I reminded him it was just sex, even talking about it make me sick to my stomach. How could I be expected to cheat on the man I loved?

  Obviously, Prescott was suspecting I’d try to back out of it, because he sent guards to trail us at every turn to make sure we got to the club. Apparently if I didn’t fail in public, it wouldn’t be as convincing to the board.

  Bastard.

  Which was how I found myself in a car with Hector, driving into the city for the exam.

  “Are you ready?”

  Hector had asked me that at least six times on our drive over to the sex club. And I’d answered with the same response. “Hell, no.”

  He reached over and squeezed my hand in a death-grip as he walked me up to the bouncer, and they let us through. “You’ll be fantastic. Just pretend like I’m not there,” he said without much enthusiasm.

  “Yeah. Like that’s going to happen.”

  No less than ten guards had escorted us to our destination. Just because Damien had been curiously absent didn’t mean he would never show up again. They positioned themselves around the room, looking bored to be here.

  I might have enjoyed this place under different circumstances. Loud dance music blasted us as we walked through the doors. It was a Gothic fantasy – with strobe lights and lasers. Black and white gauze hung from the metal rafters above our heads, and the floor was polished black tile. The walls had been painted black as well, and a layer of green fog hovered over the floor in patches. It would have been laughable had I been here just to have fun.

  Hector guided me over to the bar. He ordered two shots of tequila, which I snatched from the bartender’s hand and knocked back in one move.

  His brows raised. “One of those days?”

  I coughed and asked for another. “It’s about to be.”

  Hector let me take down three more before cutting me off. “You don’t want to be too buzzed,” he murmured stiffly. “Alcohol interferes with our dexterity, the same it does with humans’.”

  The whole bottle wouldn’t have been enough to still the raging adrenaline in my veins, but I just said, “Whatever,” and looked around.

  The place was snazzy, kind of like a rave. Except at a normal club, people wouldn’t have been openly having sex out in plain sight. I honestly hadn’t seen anything like it, save for the orgy Hector had dragged me to for my field observation.

  My throat tightened. I wasn’t ready for this. Not only had I not gotten a minute of sleep last night for worrying, I’d spent the day tying myself into nervous knots thinking about tonight. Hector had prepared me as best he could, but even his instructions lacked the passion I’d come to know from him. It was like he was feeling as dead inside as I was.

  As if none of this, our feelings for each other, had never happened. We never voiced those concerns aloud, but I knew it was how he felt, because it was how I felt, and his expression mirrored mine the whole day. If the earth had swallowed us up, we couldn’t have looked any glummer.

  Angela had come over and helped with my outfit. After I’d squeezed myself into a short, skin-tight silvery one-shoulder dress, she’d found the sluttiest heels in my closet and done-up my makeup glam-style. My hair was done up in loose curls, and despite the slutty nature of my ensemble, she still managed to make me look pretty, in an exotic, fairy-tale sort of way.

  My newly-painted nails had drummed so many times across the counter, I thought they may start chipping holes in it. About to say, “Screw Hector’s non-drinking orders,” I had started to turn around to get the bartender’s attention when a smooth voice said, “Want to dance?”

  I turned around, surprised.

  The vampire was cute. Obviously, he thought I was too, judging from the appreciative glance he gave my entire body. Not that he gave Hector any competition, because in my book, only one man was numero uno in the looks department.

  Hector stiffened beside me, flames starting to ignite his fingertips.

  Not wanting the poor guy to get incinerated, I gave him an apologetic smile. “Oh, I’m sorry, but I’m actually not a very good-”

  “Sally would love to dance with you,” said a familiar voice as a hand slapped down on my shoulder and squeezed hard, making me wince.

  My gaze whipped to Dean Prescott. I never would have recognized him with his black leather get-up and geled hair. “What are you doing
here?”

  “What do you mean?” he asked, annoyed. “I’m here to judge your final.”

  My mouth dropped open in absolute horror. “You’ve gotta be shitting me.”

  He wrinkled his nose. “No wonder you have such trouble finding acceptable clients, with a mouth like that. Women are supposed to be refined and delicate. Most of all, they’re supposed to be obedient.”

  Maybe in the fifties, I wanted to shoot back, but Prescott shoved me forward into the waiting vampire’s arms.

  “Go on,” he said, giving me a daring grin. “Why don’t you dance with the nice man? You look like you could relax.”

  I wanted to call him a few choice words, but one glance at Hector silenced me.

  He was watching me with flames in his eyes, looking like it was taking every ounce of willpower he had not to tear me out of the vamp’s arms.

  Cursing my luck, I had no choice but to drag the vamp out onto the dance floor.

  Some people were having sex literally a foot away from us, on the floor itself. Men and women, in any combination and wearing various levels of clothing, joined in the heady throng of gyrating bodies.

  The vamp wasted no time feeling me up. “You feel pretty good,” he said, all but plastering me to him. “I wonder what you taste like.”

  Three months ago, I would have flushed at such a comment. Now thanks to Hector’s lessons, I replied without missing a beat, “Probably not as good as you’d taste coming in my mouth.”

  He licked his lips, and I felt his erection grow beneath his pants, brushing against my leg. “I’ve never had succubus before.”

  “What a coincidence. I’ve never had vampire before.”

  His hand reached down and squeezed my ass. I always expected vamps to be cold, but he was surprisingly warm. If I couldn’t see his fangs elongate with his desire, I wouldn’t suspect he was a vampire at all.

  He nuzzled my neck, and I tensed as his fangs trailed across my skin. What was probably meant to be sensual scared the crap out of me, and my near-death experience of the alley with Hobo-Vamp sprang to mind. “Do you want to…” He paused to lick my neck - yuck! “…go somewhere more private?”