The Old Curiosity Shop

by Dickens, Charles

  'The key,' said the dwarf, looking viciously about him, 'the

  door-key--that's the matter. D'ye know anything of it?'

  'How should I know anything of it, sir?' returned Mr Brass.

  'How should you?' repeated Quilp with a sneer. 'You're a nice

  lawyer, an't you? Ugh, you idiot!'

  Not caring to represent to the dwarf in his present humour, that

  the loss of a key by another person could scarcely be said to

  affect his (Brass's) legal knowledge in any material degree, Mr

  Brass humbly suggested that it must have been forgotten over night,

  and was, doubtless, at that moment in its native key-hole.

  Notwithstanding that Mr Quilp had a strong conviction to the

  contrary, founded on his recollection of having carefully taken it

  out, he was fain to admit that this was possible, and therefore

  went grumbling to the door where, sure enough, he found it.

  Now, just as Mr Quilp laid his hand upon the lock, and saw with

  great astonishment that the fastenings were undone, the knocking

  came again with the most irritating violence, and the daylight

  which had been shining through the key-hole was intercepted on the

  outside by a human eye. The dwarf was very much exasperated, and

  wanting somebody to wreak his ill-humour upon, determined to dart

  out suddenly, and favour Mrs Quilp with a gentle acknowledgment of

  her attention in making that hideous uproar.

  With this view, he drew back the lock very silently and softly, and

  opening the door all at once, pounced out upon the person on the

  other side, who had at that moment raised the knocker for another

  application, and at whom the dwarf ran head first: throwing out his

  hands and feet together, and biting the air in the fulness of his

  malice.

  So far, however, from rushing upon somebody who offered no

  resistance and implored his mercy, Mr Quilp was no sooner in the

  arms of the individual whom he had taken for his wife than he found

  himself complimented with two staggering blows on the head, and two

  more, of the same quality, in the chest; and closing with his

  assailant, such a shower of buffets rained down upon his person as

  sufficed to convince him that he was in skilful and experienced

  hands. Nothing daunted by this reception, he clung tight to his

  opponent, and bit and hammered away with such good-will and

  heartiness, that it was at least a couple of minutes before he was

  dislodged. Then, and not until then, Daniel Quilp found himself,

  all flushed and dishevelled, in the middle of the street, with Mr

  Richard Swiveller performing a kind of dance round him and

  requiring to know 'whether he wanted any more?'

  'There's plenty more of it at the same shop,' said Mr Swiveller, by

  turns advancing and retreating in a threatening attitude, 'a large

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  and extensive assortment always on hand--country orders executed

  with promptitude and despatch--will you have a little more, Sir--

  don't say no, if you'd rather not.'

  'I thought it was somebody else,' said Quilp, rubbing his

  shoulders, 'why didn't you say who you were?'

  'Why didn't you say who YOU were?' returned Dick, 'instead of

  flying out of the house like a Bedlamite ?'

  'It was you that--that knocked,' said the dwarf, getting up with

  a short groan, 'was it?'

  'Yes, I am the man,' replied Dick. 'That lady had begun when I

  came, but she knocked too soft, so I relieved her.' As he said

  this, he pointed towards Mrs Quilp, who stood trembling at a little

  distance.

  'Humph!' muttered the dwarf, darting an angry look at his wife, 'I

  thought it was your fault! And you, sir--don't you know there has

  been somebody ill here, that you knock as if you'd beat the door

  down?'

  'Damme!' answered Dick, 'that's why I did it. I thought there was

  somebody dead here.'

  'You came for some purpose, I suppose,' said Quilp. 'What is it you

  want?'

  'I want to know how the old gentleman is,' rejoined Mr Swiveller,

  'and to hear from Nell herself, with whom I should like to have a

  little talk. I'm a friend of the family, sir--at least I'm the

  friend of one of the family, and that's the same thing.'

  'You'd better walk in then,' said the dwarf. 'Go on, sir, go on.

  Now, Mrs Quilp--after you, ma'am.'

  Mrs Quilp hesitated, but Mr Quilp insisted. And it was not a

  contest of politeness, or by any means a matter of form, for she

  knew very well that her husband wished to enter the house in this

  order, that he might have a favourable opportunity of inflicting a

  few pinches on her arms, which were seldom free from impressions of

  his fingers in black and blue colours. Mr Swiveller, who was not in

  the secret, was a little surprised to hear a suppressed scream,

  and, looking round, to see Mrs Quilp following him with a sudden

  jerk; but he did not remark on these appearances, and soon forgot

  them.

  'Now, Mrs Quilp,' said the dwarf when they had entered the shop,

  'go you up stairs, if you please, to Nelly's room, and tell her

  that she's wanted.'

  'You seem to make yourself at home here,' said Dick, who was

  unacquainted with Mr Quilp's authority.

  'I AM at home, young gentleman,' returned the dwarf.

  Dick was pondering what these words might mean, and still more what

  the presence of Mr Brass might mean, when Mrs Quilp came hurrying

  down stairs, declaring that the rooms above were empty.

  'Empty, you fool!' said the dwarf.

  'I give you my word, Quilp,' answered his trembling wife, 'that I

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  have been into every room and there's not a soul in any of them.'

  'And that,' said Mr Brass, clapping his hands once, with an

  emphasis, 'explains the mystery of the key!'

  Quilp looked frowningly at him, and frowningly at his wife, and

  frowningly at Richard Swiveller; but, receiving no enlightenment

  from any of them, hurried up stairs, whence he soon hurried down

  again, confirming the report which had already been made.

  'It's a strange way of going,' he said, glancing at Swiveller,

  'very strange not to communicate with me who am such a close and

  intimate friend of his! Ah! he'll write to me no doubt, or he'll

  bid Nelly write--yes, yes, that's what he'll do. Nelly's very fond

  of me. Pretty Nell!'

  Mr Swiveller looked, as he was, all open-mouthed astonishment.

  Still glancing furtively at him, Quilp turned to Mr Brass and

  observed, with assumed carelessness, that this need not interfere

  with the removal of the goods.

  'For indeed,' he added, 'we knew that they'd go away to-day, but

  not that they'd go so early, or so quietly. But they have their

  reasons, they have their reasons.'

  'Where in the devil's name are they gone?' said the wondering Dick.

  Quilp shook his head, and pursed up his lips, in a manner which

  implied that he knew very well, but was not at liberty to say.

  'And what,' said Dick, looking at the confusion about him, 'what dor />
  you mean by moving the goods?'

  'That I have bought 'em, Sir,' rejoined Quilp. 'Eh? What then?'

  'Has the sly old fox made his fortune then, and gone to live in a

  tranquil cot in a pleasant spot with a distant view of the changing

  sea?' said Dick, in great bewilderment.

  'Keeping his place of retirement very close, that he may not be

  visited too often by affectionate grandsons and their devoted

  friends, eh?' added the dwarf, rubbing his hands hard; 'I say

  nothing, but is that your meaning?'

  Richard Swiveller was utterly aghast at this unexpected alteration

  of circumstances, which threatened the complete overthrow of the

  project in which he bore so conspicuous a part, and seemed to nip

  his prospects in the bud. Having only received from Frederick

  Trent, late on the previous night, information of the old man's

  illness, he had come upon a visit of condolence and inquiry to

  Nell, prepared with the first instalment of that long train of

  fascinations which was to fire her heart at last. And here, when he

  had been thinking of all kinds of graceful and insinuating

  approaches, and meditating on the fearful retaliation which was

  slowly working against Sophy Wackles--here were Nell, the old man,

  and all the money gone, melted away, decamped he knew not whither,

  as if with a fore-knowledge of the scheme and a resolution to

  defeat it in the very outset, before a step was taken.

  In his secret heart, Daniel Quilp was both surprised and troubled

  by the flight which had been made. It had not escaped his keen eye

  that some indispensable articles of clothing were gone with the

  fugitives, and knowing the old man's weak state of mind, he

  marvelled what that course of proceeding might be in which he had

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  so readily procured the concurrence of the child. It must not be

  supposed (or it would be a gross injustice to Mr Quilp) that he was

  tortured by any disinterested anxiety on behalf of either. His

  uneasiness arose from a misgiving that the old man had some secret

  store of money which he had not suspected; and the idea of its

  escaping his clutches, overwhelmed him with mortification and

  self-reproach.

  In this frame of mind, it was some consolation to him to find that

  Richard Swiveller was, for different reasons, evidently irritated

  and disappointed by the same cause. It was plain, thought the

  dwarf, that he had come there, on behalf of his friend, to cajole

  or frighten the old man out of some small fraction of that wealth

  of which they supposed him to have an abundance. Therefore, it was

  a relief to vex his heart with a picture of the riches the old man

  hoarded, and to expatiate on his cunning in removing himself even

  beyond the reach of importunity.

  'Well,' said Dick, with a blank look, 'I suppose it's of no use my

  staying here.'

  'Not the least in the world,' rejoined the dwarf.

  'You'll mention that I called, perhaps?' said Dick.

  Mr Quilp nodded, and said he certainly would, the very first time

  he saw them.

  'And say,' added Mr Swiveller, 'say, sir, that I was wafted here

  upon the pinions of concord; that I came to remove, with the rake

  of friendship, the seeds of mutual violence and heart-burning, and

  to sow in their place, the germs of social harmony. Will you have

  the goodness to charge yourself with that commission, Sir?'

  'Certainly!' rejoined Quilp.

  'Will you be kind enough to add to it, Sir,' said Dick, producing

  a very small limp card, 'that that is my address, and that I am to

  be found at home every morning. Two distinct knocks, sir, will

  produce the slavey at any time. My particular friends, Sir, are

  accustomed to sneeze when the door is opened, to give her to

  understand that they ARE my friends and have no interested motives

  in asking if I'm at home. I beg your pardon; will you allow me to

  look at that card again?'

  'Oh! by all means,' rejoined Quilp.

  'By a slight and not unnatural mistake, sir,' said Dick,

  substituting another in its stead, 'I had handed you the passticket

  of a select convivial circle called the Glorious Apollers of

  which I have the honour to be Perpetual Grand. That is the proper

  document, Sir. Good morning.'

  Quilp bade him good day; the perpetual Grand Master of the Glorious

  Apollers, elevating his hat in honour of Mrs Quilp, dropped it

  carelessly on the side of his head again, and disappeared with a

  flourish.

  By this time, certain vans had arrived for the conveyance of the

  goods, and divers strong men in caps were balancing chests of

  drawers and other trifles of that nature upon their heads, and

  performing muscular feats which heightened their complexions

  considerably. Not to be behind-hand in the bustle, Mr Quilp went to

  work with surprising vigour; hustling and driving the people about,

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  like an evil spirit; setting Mrs Quilp upon all kinds of arduous

  and impracticable tasks; carrying great weights up and down, with

  no apparent effort; kicking the boy from the wharf, whenever he

  could get near him; and inflicting, with his loads, a great many

  sly bumps and blows on the shoulders of Mr Brass, as he stood upon

  the door-steps to answer all the inquiries of curious neighbours,

  which was his department. His presence and example diffused such

  alacrity among the persons employed, that, in a few hours, the

  house was emptied of everything, but pieces of matting, empty

  porter-pots, and scattered fragments of straw.

  Seated, like an African chief, on one of these pieces of matting,

  the dwarf was regaling himself in the parlour, with bread and

  cheese and beer, when he observed without appearing to do so, that

  a boy was prying in at the outer door. Assured that it was Kit,

  though he saw little more than his nose, Mr Quilp hailed him by his

  name; whereupon Kit came in and demanded what he wanted.

  'Come here, you sir,' said the dwarf. 'Well, so your old master and

  young mistress have gone?'

  'Where?' rejoined Kit, looking round.

  'Do you mean to say you don't know where?' answered Quilp sharply.

  'Where have they gone, eh?'

  'I don't know,' said Kit.

  'Come,' retorted Quilp, 'let's have no more of this! Do you mean to

  say that you don't know they went away by stealth, as soon as it

  was light this morning?'

  'No,' said the boy, in evident surprise.

  'You don't know that?' cried Quilp. 'Don't I know that you were

  hanging about the house the other night, like a thief, eh? Weren't

  you told then?'

  'No,' replied the boy.

  'You were not?' said Quilp. 'What were you told then; what were you

  talking about?'

  Kit, who knew no particular reason why he should keep the matter

  secret now, related the purpose for which he had come on that

  occasion, and the proposal he had made.

  'Oh!' said the dwarf after a little consideration. 'The
n, I think

  they'll come to you yet.'

  'Do you think they will?' cried Kit eagerly.

  'Aye, I think they will,' returned the dwarf. 'Now, when they do,

  let me know; d'ye hear? Let me know, and I'll give you something.

  I want to do 'em a kindness, and I can't do 'em a kindness unless

  I know where they are. You hear what I say?'

  Kit might have returned some answer which would not have been

  agreeable to his irascible questioner, if the boy from the wharf,

  who had been skulking about the room in search of anything that

  might have been left about by accident, had not happened to cry,

  'Here's a bird! What's to be done with this?'

  'Wring its neck,' rejoined Quilp.

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  'Oh no, don't do that,' said Kit, stepping forward. 'Give it to me.'

  'Oh yes, I dare say,' cried the other boy. 'Come! You let the cage

  alone, and let me wring its neck will you? He said I was to do it.

  You let the cage alone will you.'

  'Give it here, give it to me, you dogs,' roared Quilp. 'Fight for

  it, you dogs, or I'll wring its neck myself!'

  Without further persuasion, the two boys fell upon each other,

  tooth and nail, while Quilp, holding up the cage in one hand, and

  chopping the ground with his knife in an ecstasy, urged them on by

  his taunts and cries to fight more fiercely. They were a pretty

  equal match, and rolled about together, exchanging blows which were

  by no means child's play, until at length Kit, planting a

  well-directed hit in his adversary's chest, disengaged himself,

  sprung nimbly up, and snatching the cage from Quilp's hands made

  off with his prize.

  He did not stop once until he reached home, where his bleeding face

  occasioned great consternation, and caused the elder child to howl

  dreadfully.

  'Goodness gracious, Kit, what is the matter, what have you been

  doing?' cried Mrs Nubbles.

  'Never you mind, mother,' answered her son, wiping his face on the

  jack-towel behind the door. 'I'm not hurt, don't you be afraid for

  me. I've been a fightin' for a bird and won him, that's all. Hold

  your noise, little Jacob. I never see such a naughty boy in all my

  days!'

  'You have been fighting for a bird!' exclaimed his mother.

  'Ah! Fightin' for a bird!' replied Kit, 'and here he is--Miss

  Nelly's bird, mother, that they was agoin' to wring the neck of! I

  stopped that though--ha ha ha! They wouldn't wring his neck and me