The Old Curiosity Shop

by Dickens, Charles

  tell me that you drink such fire as this?'

  'No!' rejoined Quilp, 'Not drink it! Look here. And here. And here

  again. Not drink it!'

  As he spoke, Daniel Quilp drew off and drank three small glassfuls

  of the raw spirit, and then with a horrible grimace took a great

  many pulls at his pipe, and swallowing the smoke, discharged it in

  a heavy cloud from his nose. This feat accomplished he drew himself

  together in his former position, and laughed excessively.

  'Give us a toast!' cried Quilp, rattling on the table in a

  dexterous manner with his fist and elbow alternately, in a kind of

  tune, 'a woman, a beauty. Let's have a beauty for our toast and

  empty our glasses to the last drop. Her name, come!'

  'If you want a name,' said Dick, 'here's Sophy Wackles.'

  'Sophy Wackles,' screamed the dwarf, 'Miss Sophy Wackles that is--

  Mrs Richard Swiveller that shall be--that shall be--ha ha ha!'

  'Ah!' said Dick, 'you might have said that a few weeks ago, but it

  won't do now, my buck. Immolating herself upon the shrine of Cheggs--'

  'Poison Cheggs, cut Cheggs's ears off,' rejoined Quilp. 'I won't

  hear of Cheggs. Her name is Swiveller or nothing. I'll drink her

  health again, and her father's, and her mother's; and to all her

  sisters and brothers--the glorious family of the Wackleses--all

  the Wackleses in one glass--down with it to the dregs!'

  'Well,' said Richard Swiveller, stopping short in the act of

  raising the glass to his lips and looking at the dwarf in a species

  of stupor as he flourished his arms and legs about: 'you're a jolly

  fellow, but of all the jolly fellows I ever saw or heard of, you

  have the queerest and most extraordinary way with you, upon my life

  you have.'

  This candid declaration tended rather to increase than restrain Mr

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  Quilp's eccentricities, and Richard Swiveller, astonished to see

  him in such a roystering vein, and drinking not a little himself,

  for company--began imperceptibly to become more companionable and

  confiding, so that, being judiciously led on by Mr Quilp, he grew

  at last very confiding indeed. Having once got him into this mood,

  and knowing now the key-note to strike whenever he was at a loss,

  Daniel Quilp's task was comparatively an easy one, and he was

  soon in possession of the whole details of the scheme contrived

  between the easy Dick and his more designing friend.

  'Stop!' said Quilp. 'That's the thing, that's the thing. It can be

  brought about, it shall be brought about. There's my hand upon it;

  I am your friend from this minute.'

  'What! do you think there's still a chance?' inquired Dick, in

  surprise at this encouragement.

  'A chance!' echoed the dwarf, 'a certainty! Sophy Wackles may

  become a Cheggs or anything else she likes, but not a Swiveller.

  Oh you lucky dog! He's richer than any Jew alive; you're a

  made man. I see in you now nothing but Nelly's husband, rolling

  in gold and silver. I'll help you. It shall be done. Mind my words,

  it shall be done.'

  'But how?' said Dick.

  'There's plenty of time,' rejoined the dwarf, 'and it shall be

  done. We'll sit down and talk it over again all the way through.

  Fill your glass while I'm gone. I shall be back directly--

  directly.' With these hasty words, Daniel Quilp withdrew into a

  dismantled skittle-ground behind the public-house, and, throwing

  himself upon the ground actually screamed and rolled about in

  uncontrollable delight.

  'Here's sport!' he cried, 'sport ready to my hand, all invented and

  arranged, and only to be enjoyed. It was this shallow-pated fellow

  who made my bones ache t'other day, was it? It was his friend and

  fellow-plotter, Mr Trent, that once made eyes at Mrs Quilp, and

  leered and looked, was it? After labouring for two or three years

  in their precious scheme, to find that they've got a beggar at

  last, and one of them tied for life. Ha ha ha! He shall marry

  Nell. He shall have her, and I'll be the first man, when the

  knot's tied hard and fast, to tell 'em what they've gained and

  what I've helped 'em to. Here will be a clearing of old scores,

  here will be a time to remind 'em what a capital friend I was, and

  how I helped them to the heiress. Ha ha ha!'

  In the height of his ecstasy, Mr Quilp had like to have met with a

  disagreeable check, for rolling very near a broken dog-kennel,

  there leapt forth a large fierce dog, who, but that his chain was

  of the shortest, would have given him a disagreeable salute. As it

  was, the dwarf remained upon his back in perfect safety, taunting

  the dog with hideous faces, and triumphing over him in his

  inability to advance another inch, though there were not a couple

  of feet between them.

  'Why don't you come and bite me, why don't you come and tear me to

  pieces, you coward?' said Quilp, hissing and worrying the animal

  till he was nearly mad. 'You're afraid, you bully, you're afraid,

  you know you are.'

  The dog tore and strained at his chain with starting eyes and

  furious bark, but there the dwarf lay, snapping his fingers with

  gestures of defiance and contempt. When he had sufficiently

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  recovered from his delight, he rose, and with his arms a-kimbo,

  achieved a kind of demon-dance round the kennel, just without

  the limits of the chain, driving the dog quite wild. Having by this

  means composed his spirits and put himself in a pleasant train, he

  returned to his unsuspicious companion, whom he found looking at

  the tide with exceeding gravity, and thinking of that same gold and

  silver which Mr Quilp had mentioned.

  CHAPTER 22

  The remainder of that day and the whole of the next were a busy

  time for the Nubbles family, to whom everything connected with

  Kit's outfit and departure was matter of as great moment as if he

  had been about to penetrate into the interior of Africa, or to take

  a cruise round the world. It would be difficult to suppose that

  there ever was a box which was opened and shut so many times within

  four-and-twenty hours, as that which contained his wardrobe and

  necessaries; and certainly there never was one which to two small

  eyes presented such a mine of clothing, as this mighty chest with

  its three shirts and proportionate allowance of stockings and

  pocket-handkerchiefs, disclosed to the astonished vision of little

  Jacob. At last it was conveyed to the carrier's, at whose house at

  Finchley Kit was to find it next day; and the box being gone, there

  remained but two questions for consideration: firstly, whether the

  carrier would lose, or dishonestly feign to lose, the box upon the

  road; secondly, whether Kit's mother perfectly understood how to

  take care of herself in the absence of her son.

  'I don't think there's hardly a chance of his really losing it, but

  carriers are under great temptation to pretend they lose things, no

  doubt,' said Mrs Nubbles appre
hensively, in reference to the first

  point.

  'No doubt about it,' returned Kit, with a serious look; 'upon my

  word, mother, I don't think it was right to trust it to itself.

  Somebody ought to have gone with it, I'm afraid.'

  'We can't help it now,' said his mother; 'but it was foolish and

  wrong. People oughtn't to be tempted.'

  Kit inwardly resolved that he would never tempt a carrier any more,

  save with an empty box; and having formed this Christian

  determination, he turned his thoughts to the second question.

  'YOU know you must keep up your spirits, mother, and not be

  lonesome because I'm not at home. I shall very often be able to

  look in when I come into town I dare say, and I shall send you a

  letter sometimes, and when the quarter comes round, I can get a

  holiday of course; and then see if we don't take little Jacob to

  the play, and let him know what oysters means.'

  'I hope plays mayn't be sinful, Kit, but I'm a'most afraid,' said

  Mrs Nubbles.

  'I know who has been putting that in your head,' rejoined her son

  disconsolately; 'that's Little Bethel again. Now I say, mother,

  pray don't take to going there regularly, for if I was to see your

  good-humoured face that has always made home cheerful, turned into

  a grievous one, and the baby trained to look grievous too, and to

  call itself a young sinner (bless its heart) and a child of the

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  devil (which is calling its dead father names); if I was to see

  this, and see little Jacob looking grievous likewise, I should so

  take it to heart that I'm sure I should go and list for a soldier,

  and run my head on purpose against the first cannon-ball I saw

  coming my way.'

  'Oh, Kit, don't talk like that.'

  'I would, indeed, mother, and unless you want to make me

  feel very wretched and uncomfortable, you'll keep that bow on your

  bonnet, which you'd more than half a mind to pull off last week.

  Can you suppose there's any harm in looking as cheerful and being

  as cheerful as our poor circumstances will permit? Do I see

  anything in the way I'm made, which calls upon me to be a

  snivelling, solemn, whispering chap, sneaking about as if I

  couldn't help it, and expressing myself in a most unpleasant

  snuffle? on the contrary, don't I see every reason why I shouldn't?

  just hear this! Ha ha ha! An't that as nat'ral as walking, and as

  good for the health? Ha ha ha! An't that as nat'ral as a sheep's

  bleating, or a pig's grunting, or a horse's neighing, or a bird's

  singing? Ha ha ha! Isn't it, mother?'

  There was something contagious in Kit's laugh, for his mother, who

  had looked grave before, first subsided into a smile, and then fell

  to joining in it heartily, which occasioned Kit to say that he knew

  it was natural, and to laugh the more. Kit and his mother, laughing

  together in a pretty loud key, woke the baby, who, finding that

  there was something very jovial and agreeable in progress, was no

  sooner in its mother's arms than it began to kick and laugh, most

  vigorously. This new illustration of his argument so tickled Kit,

  that he fell backward in his chair in a state of exhaustion,

  pointing at the baby and shaking his sides till he rocked again.

  After recovering twice or thrice, and as often relapsing, he wiped

  his eyes and said grace; and a very cheerful meal their scanty

  supper was.

  With more kisses, and hugs, and tears, than many young gentlemen

  who start upon their travels, and leave well-stocked homes behind

  them, would deem within the bounds of probability (if matter so low

  could be herein set down), Kit left the house at an early hour next

  morning, and set out to walk to Finchley; feeling a sufficient

  pride in his appearance to have warranted his excommunication from

  Little Bethel from that time forth, if he had ever been one of that

  mournful congregation.

  Lest anybody should feel a curiosity to know how Kit was clad, it

  may be briefly remarked that he wore no livery, but was dressed in

  a coat of pepper-and-salt with waistcoat of canary colour, and

  nether garments of iron-grey; besides these glories, he shone in

  the lustre of a new pair of boots and an extremely stiff and shiny

  hat, which on being struck anywhere with the knuckles, sounded like

  a drum. And in this attire, rather wondering that he attracted so

  little attention, and attributing the circumstance to the insensibility

  of those who got up early, he made his way towards Abel Cottage.

  Without encountering any more remarkable adventure on the road,

  than meeting a lad in a brimless hat, the exact counterpart of his

  old one, on whom he bestowed half the sixpence he possessed, Kit

  arrived in course of time at the carrier's house, where, to the

  lasting honour of human nature, he found the box in safety.

  Receiving from the wife of this immaculate man, a direction to Mr

  Garland's, he took the box upon his shoulder and repaired thither

  directly.

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  To be sure, it was a beautiful little cottage with a thatched roof

  and little spires at the gable-ends, and pieces of stained glass in

  some of the windows, almost as large as pocket-books. On one side

  of the house was a little stable, just the size for the pony, with

  a little room over it, just the size for Kit. White curtains were

  fluttering, and birds in cages that looked as bright as if they

  were made of gold, were singing at the windows; plants were

  arranged on either side of the path, and clustered about the door;

  and the garden was bright with flowers in full bloom, which shed a

  sweet odour all round, and had a charming and elegant appearance.

  Everything within the house and without, seemed to be the

  perfection of neatness and order. In the garden there was not a

  weed to be seen, and to judge from some dapper gardening-tools, a

  basket, and a pair of gloves which were lying in one of the walks,

  old Mr Garland had been at work in it that very morning.

  Kit looked about him, and admired, and looked again, and this a

  great many times before he could make up his mind to turn his head

  another way and ring the bell. There was abundance of time to look

  about him again though, when he had rung it, for nobody came, so

  after ringing it twice or thrice he sat down upon his box, and

  waited.

  He rang the bell a great many times, and yet nobody came. But at

  last, as he was sitting upon the box thinking about giants'

  castles, and princesses tied up to pegs by the hair of their heads,

  and dragons bursting out from behind gates, and other incidents of

  the like nature, common in story-books to youths of low degree on

  their first visit to strange houses, the door was gently opened,

  and a little servant-girl, very tidy, modest, and demure, but very

  pretty too, appeared. 'I suppose you're Christopher,sir,' said the

  servant-girl.

  Kit got off the box, and said yes, he was.

 
'I'm afraid you've rung a good many times perhaps,' she rejoined,

  'but we couldn't hear you, because we've been catching the pony.'

  Kit rather wondered what this meant, but as he couldn't stop there,

  asking questions, he shouldered the box again and followed the girl

  into the hall, where through a back-door he descried Mr Garland

  leading Whisker in triumph up the garden, after that self-willed

  pony had (as he afterwards learned) dodged the family round a small

  paddock in the rear, for one hour and three quarters.

  The old gentleman received him very kindly and so did the old lady,

  whose previous good opinion of him was greatly enhanced by his

  wiping his boots on the mat until the soles of his feet burnt

  again. He was then taken into the parlour to be inspected in his

  new clothes; and when he had been surveyed several times, and had

  afforded by his appearance unlimited satisfaction, he was taken

  into the stable (where the pony received him with uncommon

  complaisance); and thence into the little chamber he had already

  observed, which was very clean and comfortable: and thence into the

  garden, in which the old gentleman told him he would be taught to

  employ himself, and where he told him, besides, what great things

  he meant to do to make him comfortable, and happy, if he found he

  deserved it. All these kindnesses, Kit acknowledged with various

  expressions of gratitude, and so many touches of the new hat, that

  the brim suffered considerably. When the old gentleman had said all

  he had to say in the way of promise and advice, and Kit had said

  all he had to say in the way of assurance and thankfulness, he was

  handed over again to the old lady, who, summoning the little

  servant-girl (whose name was Barbara) instructed her to take him

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  down stairs and give him something to eat and drink, after his

  walk.

  Down stairs, therefore, Kit went; and at the bottom of the stairs

  there was such a kitchen as was never before seen or heard of out

  of a toy-shop window, with everything in it as bright and glowing,

  and as precisely ordered too, as Barbara herself. And in this

  kitchen, Kit sat himself down at a table as white as a tablecloth,

  to eat cold meat, and drink small ale, and use his knife and fork

  the more awkwardly, because there was an unknown Barbara looking on