The Old Curiosity Shop

by Dickens, Charles

  commonest little matters of the office that have been trusted to

  him, blurting out the truth, though expressly cautioned. The

  aggravation of that chap sir, has exceeded anything you can

  imagine, it has indeed. Nothing but the respect and obligation I

  owe to you, sir--'

  As it was plain that Sampson was bent on a complimentary harangue,

  unless he received a timely interruption, Mr Quilp politely tapped

  him on the crown of his head with the little saucepan, and

  requested that he would be so obliging as to hold his peace.

  'Practical, sir, practical,' said Brass, rubbing the place and

  smiling; 'but still extremely pleasant--immensely so!'

  'Hearken to me, will you?' returned Quilp, 'or I'll be a little

  more pleasant, presently. There's no chance of his comrade and

  friend returning. The scamp has been obliged to fly, as I learn,

  for some knavery, and has found his way abroad. Let him rot

  there.'

  'Certainly, sir. Quite proper.--Forcible!' cried Brass, glancing

  at the admiral again, as if he made a third in company. 'Extremely

  forcible!'

  'I hate him,' said Quilp between his teeth, 'and have always hated

  him, for family reasons. Besides, he was an intractable ruffian;

  otherwise he would have been of use. This fellow is pigeon-hearted

  and light-headed. I don't want him any longer. Let him hang or

  drown--starve--go to the devil.'

  'By all means, sir,' returned Brass. 'When would you wish him,

  sir, to--ha, ha!--to make that little excursion?'

  'When this trial's over,' said Quilp. 'As soon as that's ended,

  send him about his business.'

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  'It shall be done, sir,' returned Brass; 'by all means. It will be

  rather a blow to Sarah, sir, but she has all her feelings under

  control. Ah, Mr Quilp, I often think, sir, if it had only pleased

  Providence to bring you and Sarah together, in earlier life, what

  blessed results would have flowed from such a union! You never saw

  our dear father, sir?--A charming gentleman. Sarah was his pride

  and joy, sir. He would have closed his eyes in bliss, would Foxey,

  Mr Quilp, if he could have found her such a partner. You esteem

  her, sir?'

  'I love her,' croaked the dwarf.

  'You're very good, Sir,' returned Brass, 'I am sure. Is there any

  other order, sir, that I can take a note of, besides this little

  matter of Mr Richard?'

  'None,' replied the dwarf, seizing the saucepan. 'Let us drink the

  lovely Sarah.'

  'If we could do it in something, sir, that wasn't quite boiling,'

  suggested Brass humbly, 'perhaps it would be better. I think it

  will be more agreeable to Sarah's feelings, when she comes to hear

  from me of the honour you have done her, if she learns it was in

  liquor rather cooler than the last, Sir.'

  But to these remonstrances, Mr Quilp turned a deaf ear. Sampson

  Brass, who was, by this time, anything but sober, being compelled

  to take further draughts of the same strong bowl, found that,

  instead of at all contributing to his recovery, they had the novel

  effect of making the counting-house spin round and round with

  extreme velocity, and causing the floor and ceiling to heave in a

  very distressing manner. After a brief stupor, he awoke to a

  consciousness of being partly under the table and partly under the

  grate. This position not being the most comfortable one he could

  have chosen for himself, he managed to stagger to his feet, and,

  holding on by the admiral, looked round for his host.

  Mr Brass's first impression was, that his host was gone and had

  left him there alone--perhaps locked him in for the night. A

  strong smell of tobacco, however, suggested a new train of ideas,

  he looked upward, and saw that the dwarf was smoking in his

  hammock.

  'Good bye, Sir,' cried Brass faintly. 'Good bye, Sir.'

  'Won't you stop all night?' said the dwarf, peeping out. 'Do stop

  all night!'

  'I couldn't indeed, Sir,' replied Brass, who was almost dead from

  nausea and the closeness of the room. 'If you'd have the goodness

  to show me a light, so that I may see my way across the yard,

  sir--'

  Quilp was out in an instant; not with his legs first, or his head

  first, or his arms first, but bodily--altogether.

  'To be sure,' he said, taking up a lantern, which was now the only

  light in the place. 'Be careful how you go, my dear friend. Be

  sure to pick your way among the timber, for all the rusty nails are

  upwards. There's a dog in the lane. He bit a man last night, and

  a woman the night before, and last Tuesday he killed a child--but

  that was in play. Don't go too near him.'

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  'Which side of the road is he, sir?' asked Brass, in great dismay.

  'He lives on the right hand,' said Quilp, 'but sometimes he hides

  on the left, ready for a spring. He's uncertain in that respect.

  Mind you take care of yourself. I'll never forgive you if you

  don't. There's the light out--never mind--you know the way--

  straight on!'

  Quilp had slily shaded the light by holding it against his breast,

  and now stood chuckling and shaking from head to foot in a rapture

  of delight, as he heard the lawyer stumbling up the yard, and now

  and then falling heavily down. At length, however, he got quit of

  the place, and was out of hearing.

  The dwarf shut himself up again, and sprang once more into his

  hammock.

  CHAPTER 63

  The professional gentleman who had given Kit the consolatory piece

  of information relative to the settlement of his trifle of business

  at the Old Bailey, and the probability of its being very soon

  disposed of, turned out to be quite correct in his

  prognostications. In eight days' time, the sessions commenced. In

  one day afterwards, the Grand jury found a True Bill against

  Christopher Nubbles for felony; and in two days from that finding,

  the aforesaid Christopher Nubbles was called upon to plead Guilty

  or Not Guilty to an Indictment for that he the said Christopher did

  feloniously abstract and steal from the dwelling-house and office

  of one Sampson Brass, gentleman, one Bank Note for Five Pounds

  issued by the Governor and Company of the Bank of England; in

  contravention of the Statutes in that case made and provided, and

  against the peace of our Sovereign Lord the King, his crown and

  dignity.

  To this indictment, Christopher Nubbles, in a low and trembling

  voice, pleaded Not Guilty; and here, let those who are in the habit

  of forming hasty judgments from appearances, and who would have had

  Christopher, if innocent, speak out very strong and loud, observe,

  that confinement and anxiety will subdue the stoutest hearts; and

  that to one who has been close shut up, though it be only for ten

  or eleven days, seeing but stone walls and a very few stony faces,

  the sudden entrance into a great hall filled with life, is a rather

  di
sconcerting and startling circumstance. To this, it must be

  added, that life in a wig is to a large class of people much more

  terrifying and impressive than life with its own head of hair; and

  if, in addition to these considerations, there be taken into

  account Kit's natural emotion on seeing the two Mr Garlands and the

  little Notary looking on with pale and anxious faces, it will

  perhaps seem matter of no very great wonder that he should have

  been rather out of sorts, and unable to make himself quite at home.

  Although he had never seen either of the Mr Garlands, or Mr

  Witherden, since the time of his arrest, he had been given to

  understand that they had employed counsel for him. Therefore, when

  one of the gentlemen in wigs got up and said 'I am for the

  prisoner, my Lord,' Kit made him a bow; and when another gentleman

  in a wig got up and said 'And I'm against him, my Lord,' Kit

  trembled very much, and bowed to him too. And didn't he hope in

  his own heart that his gentleman was a match for the other

  gentleman, and would make him ashamed of himself in no time!

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  The gentleman who was against him had to speak first, and being in

  dreadfully good spirits (for he had, in the last trial, very nearly

  procured the acquittal of a young gentleman who had had the

  misfortune to murder his father) he spoke up, you may be sure;

  telling the jury that if they acquitted this prisoner they must

  expect to suffer no less pangs and agonies than he had told the

  other jury they would certainly undergo if they convicted that

  prisoner. And when he had told them all about the case, and that

  he had never known a worse case, he stopped a little while, like a

  man who had something terrible to tell them, and then said that he

  understood an attempt would be made by his learned friend (and here

  he looked sideways at Kit's gentleman) to impeach the testimony of

  those immaculate witnesses whom he should call before them; but he

  did hope and trust that his learned friend would have a greater

  respect and veneration for the character of the prosecutor; than

  whom, as he well knew, there did not exist, and never had existed,

  a more honourable member of that most honourable profession to

  which he was attached. And then he said, did the jury know Bevis

  Marks? And if they did know Bevis Marks (as he trusted for their

  own character, they did) did they know the historical and elevating

  associations connected with that most remarkable spot? Did they

  believe that a man like Brass could reside in a place like Bevis

  Marks, and not be a virtuous and most upright character? And when

  he had said a great deal to them on this point, he remembered that

  it was an insult to their understandings to make any remarks on

  what they must have felt so strongly without him, and therefore

  called Sampson Brass into the witness-box, straightway.

  Then up comes Mr Brass, very brisk and fresh; and, having bowed to

  the judge, like a man who has had the pleasure of seeing him

  before, and who hopes he has been pretty well since their last

  meeting, folds his arms, and looks at his gentleman as much as to

  say 'Here I am--full of evidence--Tap me!' And the gentleman

  does tap him presently, and with great discretion too; drawing off

  the evidence by little and little, and making it run quite clear

  and bright in the eyes of all present. Then, Kit's gentleman takes

  him in hand, but can make nothing of him; and after a great many

  very long questions and very short answers, Mr Sampson Brass goes

  down in glory.

  To him succeeds Sarah, who in like manner is easy to be managed by

  Mr Brass's gentleman, but very obdurate to Kit's. In short, Kit's

  gentleman can get nothing out of her but a repetition of what she

  has said before (only a little stronger this time, as against his

  client), and therefore lets her go, in some confusion. Then, Mr

  Brass's gentleman calls Richard Swiveller, and Richard Swiveller

  appears accordingly.

  Now, Mr Brass's gentleman has it whispered in his ear that this

  witness is disposed to be friendly to the prisoner--which, to say

  the truth, he is rather glad to hear, as his strength is considered

  to lie in what is familiarly termed badgering. Wherefore, he

  begins by requesting the officer to be quite sure that this witness

  kisses the book, then goes to work at him, tooth and nail.

  'Mr Swiveller,' says this gentleman to Dick, when he had told his

  tale with evident reluctance and a desire to make the best of it:

  'Pray sir, where did you dine yesterday?'--'Where did I dine

  yesterday?'--'Aye, sir, where did you dine yesterday--was it near

  here, sir?'--'Oh to be sure--yes--just over the way.'--'To be sure.

  Yes. just over the way,' repeats Mr Brass's gentleman, with a

  glance at the court.--'Alone, sir?'--'I beg your pardon,' says Mr

  Swiveller, who has not caught the question--'Alone, sir?' repeats

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  Mr Brass's gentleman in a voice of thunder, 'did you dine alone?

  Did you treat anybody, sir? Come!'--'Oh yes, to be sure--yes, I

  did,' says Mr Swiveller with a smile.--'Have the goodness to banish

  a levity, sir, which is very ill-suited to the place in which you

  stand (though perhaps you have reason to be thankful that it's only

  that place),' says Mr Brass's gentleman, with a nod of the head,

  insinuating that the dock is Mr Swiveller's legitimate sphere of

  action; 'and attend to me. You were waiting about here, yesterday,

  in expectation that this trial was coming on. You dined over the

  way. You treated somebody. Now, was that somebody brother to the

  prisoner at the bar?'--Mr Swiveller is proceeding to explain--'Yes

  or No, sir,' cries Mr Brass's gentleman--'But will you allow me--'

  --'Yes or No, sir'--'Yes it was, but--'--'Yes it was,' cries the

  gentleman, taking him up short. 'And a very pretty witness YOU

  are!'

  Down sits Mr Brass's gentleman. Kit's gentleman, not knowing how

  the matter really stands, is afraid to pursue the subject. Richard

  Swiveller retires abashed. Judge, jury and spectators have visions

  of his lounging about, with an ill-looking, large-whiskered,

  dissolute young fellow of six feet high. The reality is, little

  Jacob, with the calves of his legs exposed to the open air, and

  himself tied up in a shawl. Nobody knows the truth; everybody

  believes a falsehood; and all because of the ingenuity of Mr

  Brass's gentleman.

  Then come the witnesses to character, and here Mr Brass's gentleman

  shines again. It turns out that Mr Garland has had no character

  with Kit, no recommendation of him but from his own mother, and

  that he was suddenly dismissed by his former master for unknown

  reasons. 'Really Mr Garland,' says Mr Brass's gentleman, 'for a

  person who has arrived at your time of life, you are, to say the

  least of it, singularly indiscreet, I think.' The jury think so

  too, and find Kit guilty. He is taken off, humbly protesting hisr />
  innocence. The spectators settle themselves in their places with

  renewed attention, for there are several female witnesses to be

  examined in the next case, and it has been rumoured that Mr Brass's

  gentleman will make great fun in cross-examining them for the

  prisoner.

  Kit's mother, poor woman, is waiting at the grate below stairs,

  accompanied by Barbara's mother (who, honest soul! never does

  anything but cry, and hold the baby), and a sad interview ensues.

  The newspaper-reading turnkey has told them all. He don't think it

  will be transportation for life, because there's time to prove the

  good character yet, and that is sure to serve him. He wonders what

  he did it for. 'He never did it!' cries Kit's mother. 'Well,'

  says the turnkey, 'I won't contradict you. It's all one, now,

  whether he did it or not.'

  Kit's mother can reach his hand through the bars, and she clasps it--

  God, and those to whom he has given such tenderness, only know in

  how much agony. Kit bids her keep a good heart, and, under

  pretence of having the children lifted up to kiss him, prays

  Barbara's mother in a whisper to take her home.

  'Some friend will rise up for us, mother,' cried Kit, 'I am sure.

  If not now, before long. My innocence will come out, mother, and

  I shall be brought back again; I feel confidence in that. You must

  teach little Jacob and the baby how all this was, for if they

  thought I had ever been dishonest, when they grew old enough to

  understand, it would break my heart to know it, if I was thousands

  of miles away.--Oh! is there no good gentleman here, who will

  take care of her!'

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  The hand slips out of his, for the poor creature sinks down upon

  the earth, insensible. Richard Swiveller comes hastily up, elbows

  the bystanders out of the way, takes her (after some trouble) in

  one arm after the manner of theatrical ravishers, and, nodding to

  Kit, and commanding Barbara's mother to follow, for he has a coach

  waiting, bears her swiftly off.

  Well; Richard took her home. And what astonishing absurdities in

  the way of quotation from song and poem he perpetrated on the road,

  no man knows. He took her home, and stayed till she was recovered;

  and, having no money to pay the coach, went back in state to Bevis

  Marks, bidding the driver (for it was Saturday night) wait at the