Tears rained down from Reggie’s eyes. He hadn’t known what to think when he discovered the letter in his pocket. It was the day of his wife’s funeral. He had just gotten dressed. He was numb when he did. He had been ever since he walked in and discovered Rita’s lifeless body submerged in their large bathtub.
Initially he thought she was playing around with him, so he put his hand over her forehead to hold her down, expecting her to sit up right away with a gasp. She didn’t have a fear of water, but what she did have a fear of was being held down. Reggie had had a smile on his face with his hand on her forehead, but that smile had quickly disappeared when his wife didn’t jump up.
Panic had taken hold of his throat and squeezed his windpipe so hard that he couldn’t breathe as she lay still under the water with vacant, terrified eyes staring into nothing. Shock kept him rooted to the marble flooring of the bathroom. Disbelief kept his mouth opened wide, with no sound being released.
He’d stood rigid, frozen in fear as seconds ticked by with the urgency of a snail making its way one inch to the next. Eventually, he found the will to make himself move to the tub to gather his wife into his arms. He called her name over and over until he realized that no matter how many times he called, or how much he shook, pleaded, and caressed her, she wasn’t going to respond.
She was dead. And try as he had to not accept it, he’d known she was dead the second he’d put his hand against her skin, which had been much colder than the water she lay in.
Reggie cried as his body shook. He gripped his wife’s letter so tightly, the edges were crinkling. He didn’t want to read on, but he had to. There was more that his wife had to say. Somehow, he lifted the 8 x 11 piece of paper to an angle below his eyes and continued.
I was chatting online with Jayson Winston from my Visual Basics class. It was innocent at first, but the topics of our chats quickly crossed lines and became filthy discussions about sex. That’s when the game of truth and, primarily, dare, began.
Jayson dared me to do things that, God, I regret so much now. I ... I sent pictures to him. Pictures of the most private parts of my body. I sent pictures of myself doing things to those private parts. Reggie, I ... I thought what I was doing was just harmless fun. I didn’t think things would escalate, but they did. The truths became truer, the dares became bolder. I hate to admit it, but I started to become hooked on the freakiness. I started to not only look forward to being bad, but needing to be as well, and as my needs intensified, my desire to make the words and actions in the picture become reality grew stronger, to the point where I just had to make them come true.
And that’s when I made the terrible decision to physically cheat on you.
It ... it was a dare. We were supposed to have sex. We were supposed to do things ... well, he was supposed to do things to me. Nasty things. I ... I wanted to be tied up. I wanted to be gagged. And ... and I wanted to be fucked. It was a fantasy of mine that he promised to fulfill. But instead of doing that, he raped me, Reggie. He wrapped ropes around my ankles and wrists and tied me to the bedposts. He covered my mouth with duct tape. He hit me and told me to keep quiet; and then he violated me viciously for hours. I screamed, Reggie. I screamed so loud, but no one could hear me. I tried to beg him to stop. I offered him money. A lot of money. But ... but he didn’t want any.
I ... I wanted to tell you, Reggie. I wanted to tell the police what had happened, but I couldn’t because Jayson had everything. Every picture. Every sex-filled discussion. He ... he threatened to expose what I’d done and tell everyone—friends, family, employees, the media, you. I couldn’t ... couldn’t let him do that, so I kept quiet and tried to deal with everything. But the guilt ... Day after day, it tore me apart. Day after day, I died more and more, and I began to go crazy. Killing myself, oh, God, I can’t believe I’m writing this, but killing myself was the only way for me to escape from the hell of what I’d done. It was also the only way to get Jayson back for what he did to me without having my reputation and company ruined.
I realize that’s selfish of me, but in this final and absolute moment, I’m just going to be honest. I didn’t want my name to be dragged through the mud. I didn’t want my friends and family and company to be rocked by a scandal. This was the only way to keep that from happening. I’d rather people talk and speculate about suicide, than have actual proof of my transgressions.
Please forgive me, Reggie. I know I have no right to ask you to, but I am asking. Please. I also have one more thing to ask ...
I don’t think I’m the only person Jayson has done this to. I think—no, I’m sure—there are others. He has to be stopped, Reggie. He’s ruining lives.
During one of our chats, Jayson told me about a new class he was going to start taking. A Java Scripts class. Reggie ... I want you to register for the class as a female. I have a feeling that Jayson will reach out to you. If he does, I want you to respond to him, begin chatting and playing his truth or dare game that I know he will want to play. When the game begins, I want you to escalate it and get him to meet you. I won’t tell you what to do when/if you do meet him, but I will say again, that he has to be stopped for good.
Reggie ... I’m so sorry for what I’ve done. I pray to God that I get to meet you in another lifetime. If I do get that opportunity, I swear to you that I won’t waste it. I love you, Reggie. Good-bye.
Still clutching Rita’s letter in one hand, Reggie’s arms dropped to his sides. He slumped down in the chair he was sitting in and dropped his chin to chest as all the air in his body sighed away. The words on the paper seemed surreal and almost impossible to believe. Yet, his wife was dead.
Dead.
Reggie cried, shook, crumpled up his wife’s note in his hand, and then threw it across the room with a growl. He shook his head, wanting so badly for his reality to be a horrible dream.
“Rita,” he whispered. There was a knot so thick in his throat that barely a sound escaped. “Rita.”
He was burying her in a few hours. That’s why he had his black suit on. He’d been to several funerals in the past year, and he always wore this particular suit. Rita had joked once and called it his mortician’s suit. Reggie shivered as he imagined her sliding the letter into his inside pocket.
“Rita,” he whispered again.
He raised his head and looked over at the bed. His wife had been there sprawled, tied, gagged just weeks ago. He looked across the room and settled his eyes on the crumpled letter. His wife’s last words. She’d lied, she’d cheated, while he loved her with all his heart. He should hate her for that. He should be happy that she was gone. But how could he be when he still loved her with every fiber of his being?
Reggie stared at the letter and thought about Rita’s request. Jayson Winston. She was sure she wasn’t the only one, and one thing Reggie knew about his wife was that she was never wrong when she was sure.
Jayson Winston. He’d be joining a Java Scripts class.
Reggie stood up, walked over to the letter, bent down, and picked it up. Rita wanted him to get Jayson to meet him. She hadn’t said what she wanted him to do if the opportunity came, but Reggie knew what he would do.
He reached into his pocket, removed a cigarette lighter, and went into the bathroom. He stared at himself in the mirror, looked at his eyes, and saw someone he didn’t recognize. Then he flicked the lighter, bringing flame to light, and set it beneath his wife’s letter. As it caught on fire, he dropped it into the sink, and as Rita’s words disappeared, he thought about registering for class before the burial.
Chapter 21
“Do you have plans tonight?”
Jess’s heart thumped. “Excuse me?” She had just pulled to a stop beside the curb in front of the drop-off for passengers flying on Southwest Airlines. She turned her head and faced her husband. “What do you mean do I have plans?”
Esias cocked an eyebrow. “I mean for you and the girls. Do you have anything planned?”
Jess’s heart hammered beneath her chest. C
alm down, she thought. He doesn’t know anything. She took a breath and let it out slowly. “Oh ... no. Not really. Maybe we’ll get a movie on-demand or something. Why?”
“I just figured you might do something special with me being gone this weekend.”
Jess shook her head. “No ... nothing.”
“Maybe you should. It’s not often you get a ‘girls only’ weekend.”
Jess shrugged. “We’ll see. I still have finals coming, so it’s not like I don’t have work to do.”
Esias raised his eyebrows up and down. “You going to be talking to Jayson this weekend?”
Jess rolled her eyes. Ever since her slipup a little over a week ago, Esias had made it a point to find a way to bring up Jayson’s name. “Maybe, Esias. It depends on how stuck I get. Is that all right with you?”
“Relax with the attitude, Jess. It was just a question.”
“I’m not the one with the attitude,” she replied.
“All I did was ask a question.”
“One that was really necessary to ask, right?”
Esias tapped his index finger on his passenger-door panel. “It was a valid question.”
“Oh, come off of it, Esias. Ever since I accidentally said his name, you’ve found a way to come up with valid questions or statements with his name attached. It’s getting old.”
Esias worked his jaw. “You called me by his name, Jess.”
“We were arguing about school. He’s my online tutor. How many times do I have to say that it was unintentional?”
“I understand that we were having a discussion, Jess, but the fact remains you called me by his name. Whether you want to admit it or not, as far as I’m concerned, he must have been on your mind.”
Jess sucked her teeth. “Oh, please—”
“Please what, Jess? I’m not calling you by another woman’s name, no matter how much she may have to do with whatever it is we’d be talking about.”
“Well, forgive me for not being perfect like you are,” Jess said, rolling her eyes.
“I’m not saying I’m perfect, Jess. I’m just saying that was one hell of a mistake to make.”
“Again ... imperfection is a flaw of mine.”
“Have you ever spoken to him aside from tutoring?”
Jess placed her elbows against the steering wheel and put her hand over her forehead. Esias’s comments and questions were the last thing she needed right now. “Unbelievable,” she said. “I can’t believe you just asked me that.”
“It’s not a far-fetched question.”
“It’s a ridiculous question. And one I’m not going to answer.”
“Why not? Do you have something to hide?”
Jess shook her head. Guilt had been weighing down on her ever since she had dropped the girls off at her sister’s apartment, and more than once, she had actually considered not going through with the very wrong plans she’d made. But the more Esias hit the nail on the head, the angrier she became and the more she wanted to do what she shouldn’t. The more she wanted the release. The more she yearned for the fulfillment of the words she and Jayson had exchanged. She took a slow breath in and on exhale said, “Don’t you have a flight to catch?”
“You never answered my question,” Esias said, his voice low.
Jess sighed. “And I’m not going to.”
Esias sucked in his top lip and gnawed on it with his bottom teeth. “It’s an easy question to answer.”
Jess let out a frustrated breath. “I’m holding up other cars,” she said.
Esias shook his head. “Unbelievable.”
“Yes, this is.”
Esias opened his car door, stepped out, slammed it shut, and then opened the passenger door, grabbed his carry-on bag from the backseat, and then slammed that door shut too. Without a good-bye, he walked away.
Jess released a breath that she had been holding. She’d held it with the expectation of releasing it with a tirade with his next comment or question. She was thankful that hadn’t happened because she knew there was a very good chance she was going to say things she would regret. She watched Esias walk into the airport terminal, and then put her blinkers on and pulled away from the curb.
An hour later, she was dressed wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and a white silk blouse that slouched at the neckline. Open-toed pumps were on her feet. She wanted to be sexy, but not overdone. The jeans hugged her ass enough to make a man want to grab hold, and the blouse fight tightly enough up top to accentuate her breasts, but was loose enough to conceal her slight belly. It had taken her forty-five minutes to settle on the outfit. In an overnight bag, she had another pair of jeans and top, and lingerie—just in case.
She looked at herself in the mirror of her dressing table. Mascara had been applied; blush blended in; dark red lipstick was on. She never needed much more than that. “Are you sure?” she asked herself.
Her reflection stared back at her with steady eyes as it gave her a single nod.
“OK.”
She raised her hand. In it was her cell phone. She found Jayson’s number and sent him a text letting him know that she was on the way. A minute later, Jayson responded with a smiley face.
Jess took one final glance in the mirror, gave her reflection a nod back, and then walked out of the bedroom with dirty thoughts on her mind.
Chapter 22
She was on her way. Finally their moment, their magic was going to happen. Their beautiful music was going to be created.
Jayson couldn’t wait.
His father would have been proud of him. If only he were around to see the special woman he’d chosen. But lung cancer had done him in before his time. The doctor had warned him about smoking, but his father never listened. He lived by his own rules.
“Do what you want to do,” he often instructed Jayson. “Don’t let anybody tell you what you can and can’t do. Don’t let anybody say what you can and can’t have.”
Jayson had the utmost respect for his father. He was a man’s man. Tall, muscular, strong, proud. His father was the master of his domain, and Jayson admired that. He had tried to find that special female before his father had passed, but his father’s health had taken a turn for the worse far sooner than had been expected.
Losing his father had a profound effect on him and made him much more determined to find that special one. Special like his mother, who he still loved with all his heart, even though she had married another man less than six months after his father passed away and had very little contact with him since. Jayson didn’t take her lack of communication personally. She was grieving over the loss of a great man. And because Jayson looked just like him, it was tough for his mother to see him.
Jayson understood.
He looked down at his laptop. Regina had sent him another chat message. She was in the new Java Scripts class he’d started.
Jayson ... r u still thre?
Jayson smiled. Regina was a freak who loved the camera. He typed, I am. I had a call I had 2 tke.
O, OK. I thght maybe my dare was 2 much.
No ... not at all. But r u sure tht’s wht u wnt?
Yes! I wnt u 2 fck me. I wnt u 2 do all of the things my husband won’t do. I’m getting wet now jst thnkng abt it. I wish u were here fckng me rght now.
If I cld b, I wld, Regina. Hell ... I will.
Whn? I need u inside of me.
U tell me. My schedule is opn.
What abt next Saturday? My husband has 2 go away. I’ll b free.
Free and clear 2 b fcked?
2 b pounded. I want u 2 do any and everything u wnt 2 do.
I’m gtng hrd imagning all of the thngs I’m gng 2 do 2 u, Regina.
God, I can’t wait.
So ... nxt Sat?
Yes!! He’ll b gone.
OK.
R u sure u r gng 2 fulfill ur dare?
I’ll surpass it, Regina. I hpe ur pussy will be rdy.
O it will b.
Good! Listn, I hve 2 go. I hve smthng I need 2
do.
OK. Will u b back on later?
I dn’t knw. Gng to b prtty busy. I’ll try if I can.
OK. I’ll keep checking jst in case.
OK.
Jayson signed out of the messenger and laughed. His father had been so right. Women were whores. Except for the special ones.
He shut down his laptop. He wouldn’t be on it for at least two days. Or so he hoped. He went into the bathroom to get ready for Jess’s arrival.
Chapter 23
Reggie Starks wanted to grab his laptop and throw it against the wall. He hated this, hated what he had to do. But he had to in order to get revenge, retribution. He had to endure the filthy conversations. He had to continue paying money to the prostitute that he had living in the spare bedroom temporarily so that he would have access to photographs when they were requested, which had been often because Jayson loved his pictures.
The hooker’s cooperation and silence didn’t come cheap, but he didn’t care. As disgusting as he felt, he would continue with his mission until he got the end result he needed. Jayson had to pay for what he’d done. Reggie just had to endure.
Next Saturday.
He closed his eyes tightly, trying to keep the well of tears that had risen from spilling over, but grief, shock, disbelief, and rage made the flood impossible to contain.
Next Saturday.
Jayson Winston was going to get his.
Chapter 24
Jess could barely breathe as her heart beat in triplets beneath her chest. She was standing in the lobby of the Gramercy Hotel. Her legs felt like rubber; her hands were cold, clammy, while the rest of her body was warm. Nervous, excited, and apprehensive all combined to set her nerves on fire.
She stood rooted on the red carpeting with the letters G.P.H. in white stitched in its center, and marveled at the splendor around her. Lavish, red furniture; a massive fireplace; a three-tier crystal chandelier; and colorful, expressive paintings adorned the walls. Jess had known of the Gramercy and how lush it was, but, because of the cost, never did she think she would set foot inside. Had her nervous excitement not already done it, the sight of what she was surrounded by would have surely taken her breath away.
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