The 20th Golden Age of Science Fiction MEGAPACK ™: Evelyn E. Smith

by Evelyn E. Smith

  "Oh, it is all right, Sub Archivist, no question of that. How could I dare to complain about a man who has such powerful friends? I suppose if I gave you the Sagittarius files to reorganize, you'd go running to your friend General Spano, sniveling about cruel and unfair treatment."

  So Clarey started reorganizing the Sagittarius files — a sickeningly dull task which should by rights have gone to a junior archivist. All morning he couldn't help thinking about Damorlan -- its invigorating atmosphere, its pleasant climate, its presumed absence of archives and archivists. During his lunchstop he looked up the planet in the files. There was only a small part of a tape on it. There might be more in the Classified Files. It was, of course, forbidden to view secretapes without a direct order from the Chief Archivist, but the tapes were locked by the same code as the rare editions. After all, he told himself, I have a legitimate need for the information.

  So he punched for Damorlan in the secret files. He put the tape in the viewer. He saw the natives. Cold shock filled him, and then hot fury. They were humanoid all right -- pallid, pale-haired creatures. Objective viewpoint, he thought furiously; detachment be damned! I was picked because I look like one of them!

  He was wrenched away from the viewer. "Sub-Archivist Clarey, what is the meaning of this?" Chief Section Archivist MacFingal demanded. "You know what taking a secretape out without permission means?"

  Clarey knew. The reorientation machine. "Ask General Spano," he said in a constricted voice. "He'll tell you it's all right."

  * * * *

  General Spano said that it was, indeed, all right. I'm so glad to hear you've decided to join us. Splendid career for an enterprising young man. Smoke-stick?"

  Clarey refused; he no longer had any interest in trying one.

  "Don't look so grim," Spano said jovially. "You'll like the Damorlanti once you get to know them. Very affectionate people. Haven't had any major wars for several generations. Currently there are just a few skirmishes at the poles and you ought to be able to keep away from those easily. And they'll simply love you."

  “But I don't like anyone," Clarey said. “And I don't see why the Damorlanti should like me," he added fairly.

  “I'll tell you why! Because it'll be your job to make them like you. You've got to be friendly and outgoing if it kills you. Anyone can develop a winning personality if he sets his mind to it. I though you said you watched the tri-dis!"

  “I — I don't always watch the commercials," Clarey admitted.

  “Oh, well, we all have our little failings." Spano leaned forward, his voice now pitched to persuasive decibels. “Normally, of course, you wouldn't stoop to hypocrisy to gain friends, and quite right, too — people should accept you as you are or they wouldn't be worthy of becoming your friends. But this is different. You have to be what they want, because you want something from them. You'll have to suffer rebuffs and humiliations and never show resentment."

  “In other words," Clarey said, “a secret agent is supposed to forget all about such concepts as self-respect."

  “If necessary, yes. But here self-respect doesn't enter into it. These aren't people and they don't really matter. You wouldn't be humiliated, would you, if you tried to pat a dog and it snarled at you?"

  “Steff, he's got to think of them as people until he's definitely given them a clean bill of health," Han Vollard protested. “Otherwise, the whole thing won't work."

  “Well," the general temporized, “think of them as people, then, but as inferior people. Let them snoop and pry and sneer. Always, at the back of your mind, you'll have the knowledge that this is all a sham, that someday they'll get whatever it is they deserve. You might even think of it as a game, Clarey — no more personal than when you fail to get the gardip ball into the loop."

  “I don't happen to play gardip, General," Clarey reminded him coldly. Gardip was strictly a U-E pastime. And, in any case, Clarey was not a gamesman.

  He was put through intensive indoctrination, given accelerated courses in the total secret agent curriculum: Self-Defense and Electronics, Decoding and Resourcefulness, Xenopsychology and Acting.

  “There are eight cardinal rules of acting," the robocoach told him. “The first is: Never Identify. You'll never be able to become the character you're playing, because you aren't that character — the playwright gave birth to him, not your mother. Therefore — "

  “But I'm only going to play one role," Clarey broke in. “All I need to know is how to play that role well and convincingly. My life may depend on it."

  “I teach acting," the robocoach said loftily. “I don't run a charm school. If you come to me, you learn — or, at least, are exposed to — all I have to offer. I refuse to tailor my art to any occasional need. Now, the second cardinal rule ..."

  * * * *

  Clarey was glad he could absorb the languages and social structure of the planet through the impersonal hypno-tapes. He had to learn more than one language because the planet was divided into several national units, each speaking a different tongue. Inefficient as far as planetary operation went, but advantageous to him, Han Vollard pointed out, because, though he'd work in Vangtor, he would be supposed to have originated in Ventimor; hence his accent.

  “Work?" Clarey asked. “I thought I was going to be an undercover agent."

  “You'll have a cover job," she explained wearily. “You can't just wander around with no visible source of income, unless you're a member of the nobility, and it would be risky to elevate you to the peerage."

  “What kind of a job will I have?" Clarey asked, brightening a little at the idea of possibly having something interesting to do.

  “They call it librarian. I'm not exactly sure what it is, but Colonel Blynn — he's our chief officer on the planet — says that after indoctrination you ought to be able to handle it."

  Clarey already knew that jobs on Damorlan weren't officially assigned, but that employer and employee somehow managed to find each other and work out arrangements themselves. Sometimes, Han now explained, employers would advertise for employees. Colonel Blynn had answered such a job in Vangtor on his behalf from an accommodation address in Ventimor. “You were hired sight unseen, because you came cheap. So they probably won't check your references. Let's hope not, anyway."

  * * * *

  The trip to Damorlan was one long aching agony. Since luxury liners naturally didn't touch on Damorlan, he was sent out on a service freighter, built for maximum stowage rather than comfort. Most of the time he was spacesick. The only thing that comforted him was that it would be ten years before he'd have to go back.

  They landed on the Earth-men's spaceport — the only spaceport, of course — at Barshwat, and he was hustled off to Earth Headquarters in an animal-drawn cart that made him realize there were other ailments besides spacesickness.

  “Afraid you're going to have to hole up in my suite while you're with us," Colonel Blynn apologized when Clarey was safely inside. “The rest of the establishment is crawling with native servants — daytimes, anyway; they sleep out — but they have orders never to come near my quarters,"

  He looked interestedly at Clarey. “Amazing how the plasto-surgeons got you to look exactly like a native. Those boys really know their stuff. Maybe I will have my nose fixed next time I go Earthside."

  Clarey glared venomously at the tall, handsome, dark young officer.

  “Don't worry," Blynn soothed him. “I'm sure when you go back they'll be able to make you look exactly the way you were before."

  He gave Clarey a general briefing and explained to him that the additional allowance he'd be receiving — since he couldn't be expected to live on a Damorlant salary — would come from an alleged rich aunt in Barshwat.

  “Where'll you get the native currency?" Clarey asked.

  “We do some restricted trading with the natives, bring materials that're in short supply; salt, breakfast cereals, pigments, thread — stuff like that. Nothing strategic, nothing they could possibly use against us . . . unless th
ey decide to strangle us with our own string." He guffawed ear-splittingly.

  * * * *

  One rainy evening a couple of Earth officers hustled Clarey into a hax-cart. A little later, equipped with a native kit, an itinerary, and a ticket purchased in Ventimor, he was left a short distance from a large track-car station.

  He was so numb with fright he had to force himself to move in the right direction leg by leg. He gained a little confidence when he was able to find the terminus without needing to ask directions; he even managed to find the right chain of cars and a place to sit in one of them. He didn't realize that this was something of an achievement until he discovered that certain later arrivals had to stand. He wondered why more tickets were issued than there were seats available, then realized the answer was simple — primitives couldn't count very accurately.

  Creakily and slowly, the chain got under way. Clarey's terror mounted. Here he was, wearing strange clothes, on a strange world, surrounded by strange creatures. They aren't really repulsive, he told himself; they look like people; they look like me.

  Some of the natives seemed to be staring at him. His heart began to beat loudly. Could they hear it? Did their hearts beat the same way? Was their hearing more acute than his? The tapes had seemed so full of information; now he saw how full of holes they'd been. Then he noticed that the natives were staring at each other. His heart quieted. Only a local custom. After a while, little conversational groups formed. No one spoke to him, for he spoke to no one. He was not yet ready to thrust himself upon them; he had enough to do to reach his destination successfully.

  He tried to follow the conversations for practice and to keep his mind off his fears. The male next to him was talking to the male opposite about the weather and its effect on the sirtles. The three females on his other side were telling each other how their respective offspring were doing in school. Some voices he couldn't identify with owners were complaining how much sagor and titulwirt cost these days. I don't know why the government is so worried, he thought; they're not really very human at all.

  The chain had been scheduled to reach the end of its run in three hours. It took closer to five. He got off at what would have been around midnight on Earth, and the terminus where he was supposed to take the next chain was almost empty of people, completely empty of cars. Although it was still a few minutes before his car was due, he was worried. Finally, he approached a native.

  “Is this — is this not where the 39:12 to Zrig is destined to appear?" he asked, conscious as he uttered Vangtort aloud for the first time that his phrasing was not entirely colloquial.

  The native stared at him with small pale eyes and bit his middle finger. “Stranger, eh?" he asked in a small pale voice.

  “Yes." The native waited. “I come from Ventimor," Clarey told him. Nosy native, he thought furiously; prying primitive.

  “You don't hafta shout," the native said. “I'm not deef."

  Clarey realized what he hadn't noted consciously before — the natives spoke much more softly than Earthmen. Local custom two.

  “You'll be finding things a lot different here in Vangtor," the native told him. “Livelier, more up to date. F'rinstance, do the cars always run on time in Ventimor?"

  “Yes," Clarey said firmly.

  “Well, they don't here. Know why? That's because we've got more'n one chain of 'em." He made a noise like a wounded turshi. He was laughing.

  * * * *

  Clarey smiled until his gums ached. “About the 39:12? It is rather important to me, as I understand the next chain does not leave for several days."

  The native lifted a chronometer hanging around his neck. “Ought to get in around 40 or so," he said. “Whyn't you get yourself a female or a bite to eat?" He waved his hand toward the two trade booths that were still open for business.

  Clarey was very hungry. But, as he got near the food booth, the stench and the sight of the utensils were too much for him. He went back to the carways and sat huddled on a banquette until his chain came in at 40:91.

  The car he picked was empty, so he stretched out on the seat and slept until it got to Zrig, very early in the morning. When he got out, day was dawning and a food booth hadn't had time to accumulate odors so he climbed to one of the perches and pointed to something that looked like a lopsided pie and something else that looked like coffee. Neither was what it appeared to be, but the pseudo-pie was edible and the pseudo-coffee was good. Somehow, the food seemed to diminish his fright; it made the world less strange.

  “Where you going, stranger?" the native asked, resting his arms on the top of the booth.

  “Katund," Clarey said. The other looked puzzled. “It is a village near Zrig."

  “That a fact?" The native bit his little finger. “You look like a city feller to me."

  “That is correct," Clarey said patiently. “I come from Qytet. It is a place of some size." He waited a decent interval before collapsing his smile.

  “Now, why would a smartlooking young fellow like you want to go to a place like this Katund, eh?"

  Clarey started to shrug, then remembered that was not a Damorlant gesture. “I have received employment there."

  “I should think you'd be able to do better'n that." The native nibbled at his thumb. “What did you say you worked at?"

  “I didn't. I am a librarian." The native turned away and began to rinse his utensils. “In that case, I guess Katund's as good a place as any."

  Surely, Clarey thought, even a Damorlant would at this point rise up and smite the food merchant with one of his own platters. Then he forgot his anger in apprehension. What in the name of whatever gods they worshipped on this planet could a librarian possibly be?

  He got up and was about to go. Then he remembered to be friendly and outgoing. “I have never tasted better food," he told the native. “Not even in Barshwat."

  The native picked up the coin Clarey had left by way of tip and bit it. Apparently it passed the test. “Stop here next time you're passing this way," he advised, “and I'll really serve you something to write home about!"

  * * * *

  The omnibus for Katund proved to be nothing but a large cart drawn by a team of hax. Clarey waited for internal manifestations as he rode. None came. I've found my land legs, he thought, or, rather, my land stomach. And with the hax jogging along the quiet lanes of Vangtor, he found himself almost at peace.

  Earth was completely urbanized: there were the great metropolises; there were the parks; there were the oceans. That was all. So to him the Vangtort countryside looked like a huge park, with grass and trees and flowers that were slightly unrealistic in color, but beautiful just the same — even more, perhaps. It was idyllic. There's bound to be some catch, he thought.

  The other passengers, who'd been talking together in low tones, turned toward Clarey. “You'll be the new librarian, I take it?" the tallest observed. He was a bulky creature, wearing a rich but sober cloak that came down to his ankles.

  For a moment Clarey couldn't understand him; the local dialect seemed to thicken the words. “Why, yes. How did you know that?"

  The native wiggled his ears. “Not many folks come to Katund and a new librarian's expected, so it wasn't hard to figure. Except you don't look my idea of a librarian."

  Clarey nervously smoothed the dark red cloak that covered him from shoulder to mid-calf. Was it too loud? Too quiet? Too short?

  “What give you the idea of comin' to Katund?" the oldest and smallest of the three asked in a whistling voice. “It's no place anybody who wasn't born here'd choose."

  “Most young fellers favor the city," the third—a barrel-shaped individual—agreed. “I'd of gone there myself when I was a lad, if Dad hadn't needed somebody to take over the Purple Furbush when he was gone."

  “Maybe he's runnin' away," the ancient sibilated. “When I was a boy, there was a feller from the city came here; turned out to be a thief." All three stared at Clarey.

  “I — I replied to an advertisement in the Do
rdolec District Bulletin," he said carefully. “I wished for a position that was peaceful and quiet. I am recovering from an overset of the nervous system."

  The oldest one said, “That'd account for it right enough."

  Clarey gritted his teeth and beamed at them.

  “Typical idiot smile," the ancient whispered. “Noticed it myself right off, but I didn't like to say."

  “Is it right to have a librarian that isn't all there?" the proprietor of the Furbush asked. “Foreigner, too. I mean to say — the young ones use him more'n most."

  “We've got to take what we can get," the biggest native said. “Katund's funds are running mighty low."

  “What can you expect when you ballot yourself a salary raise every year?" the old one whistled. The other two made animal noises. Clarey must not jump; he must learn to laugh like a turshi if he hoped to be the life of any Damorlant party.

  The big one stood up as well as he could in the swaying cart. “Guess I'd better interduce myself," he said, holding out a sturdily shod foot. “I'm Malesor, headman of Katund. This is Piq; he deals in blots and snarls. And Hanxi here's the innkeeper."

  “My name is Balt," Clarey said. “I am honored by this meeting." And he went through the conventional toe-touching with each one.

  “Guess you'll be putting up with me until you've found permanent quarters, Til Balt," Hanxi said. “Not that you could do much better than make your permanent home at the Purple Furbush. You'll find life more comfortable than if you lodge with a private fam'ly. Bein' a young unmarried man — " he twisted his nose suggestively — “you'd naturally want a bit of freedom, excitement."

  “Remember he's a librarian," Piq whistled. “He might not appreciate as good a time as most young fellers."

  Clarey was glad when a cluster of domes appearing over the horizon indicated that they'd reached Katund. He looked about him curiously. The countryside he'd been able to equate with a park, but this small aggregate of detached dwellings bore no relationship to anything in his experience.

  His kit was dexterously removed from his hand. “Guess you'll want to check in first," Hanxi said, “so I'll just take your gear over to the inn for you."