The Black Rainbow

by Hussain Zaidi

  “The state,” Ali replied, “is not killing innocent people. It’s the militants who are killing people. So it’s not state terrorism.”

  “But what about drone attacks? Aren’t those attacks a manifestation of state terrorism?” Naila asked.

  “Drone attacks aren’t being carried out by our govt but by the USA,” Ali answered.

  “Come on; we all know the drone strikes have the consent of our govt,” Naila wasn’t satisfied with Ali’s answer.

  “Well, in that case I would say that drones target militants and not civilians,” Ali tried to come up with an answer.

  “Drones kill innocent people. You can’t deny that,” Zahid remarked.

  “I think your friends have a point Ali. Drone strikes are too serious a matter to be dismissed. Anyway, on the whole, it was a nice session and if there’s no other question or comment, we’ll finish here. I’m thankful to you all for your participation,” Prof Rameez made the concluding remarks.

  Ali was disappointed with himself for not faring well at the presentation. Sara saw Ali’s dejected face and felt sorry for him. After the class was dismissed, she went to Ali and said to him, “I wouldn’t say it was an excellent presentation but you didn’t cut a sorry figure either.”

  “Thanks for the kind words,” Ali replied. “But really I’m crossed with myself for I had prepared hard for the presentation but I just got nervous and my mind went blank.”

  “It can happen to anyone. To forget is human. But at the very least, you made an attempt and you can always improve on that. Remember that was your first but not the last presentation. Would you mind if I offered you a drink?”

  “Thanks. I’m disturbed but not that much as to reject your offer.”

  “Now you’ll have to make your presentation,” Ali said to Sara as they took their seats in a restaurant just outside the university.

  “Mine is the last, still two months away. But let’s talk about something else,” Sara said as she wanted Ali to turn his mind away from the presentation. “Now tell me are you interested in mysticism?” she asked an unexpected question.

  “Mysticism! Well I read a little bit about that when I was studying English romantic poets. But how come a matter-of-fact girl like you has got anything to do with mysticism?”

  “Well a matter-of-fact should above all be an open mind and shouldn’t shun anything unless she has seen through it. I just want to have an insight into mysticism and wonder whether you can guide me,” Sara answered.

  “All I know about mysticism,” Ali began,” is that it’s a direct insight into reality. The mystical experience goes beyond the ordinary sense experience and transcends speculative and rational discourse.”

  “But this makes mystical experience akin to intuition, because in intuition one knows something to be true or feels it’s going to happen with no rational or empirical justification for the same. Doesn’t it?” Sara queried.

  “Intuition is a cognitive faculty. Mystical experience doesn’t aim at knowledge as such but at transformation. The mystic aspires to become God or God-like,” Ali replied.

  “Is belief in God necessary for the mystic?”

  “I think not. In Buddhism, there is no concept of God at least in the conventional sense of the word. But still a strong current of mysticism runs through Buddhism.”

  “But then with whom the Buddhist mystic would aspire to become one?” Sara asked.

  “With nothingness, I suppose, because in Buddhism, as far as I know, nothingness is the ultimate truth. And this is what Nirvana is — extinction to become one with nothingness. In Islamic terminology, it’s called fana or annihilation. However, for Muslim mystics, fana is just a means to baqa — the everlasting life with God or in God depending upon which school one belongs to,” Ali explained.

  “That’s a very concise answer,” Sara appreciated. “But tell me how is mystical experience different from religious experience?”

  “In my view, religious experience is essentially a feeling of absolute dependence on God, while mystical experience is becoming one with God. One may be religious without being a mystic. But I think one cannot be a mystic without having absolute dependence on God. Though I admit there’s a thin line between religious and mystical experiences,” Ali explained.

  “Great! This is a fine introduction to the subject. I’ll browse the net to know more about mysticism and may get back to you. Shall we leave?”

  Sara wasn’t interested in mysticism but she had read about it here and there and already knew what Ali had told her. She had started the discussion, because she wanted Ali to get over his botched presentation.

  Sara’s effort wasn’t in vain. Ali was able to get over the presentation. But now his mind turned towards mysticism. The very fact that Sara had expressed her interest in mysticism was enough motivation for him to know more about the subject so that he might quench her thirst. The idea that he should write his thesis on mysticism also crossed his mind but then again he couldn’t make up his mind. At any rate, he decided to delve deep into mysticism.

  Chapter 25

  “You remember the girl who interviewed you some time back on madaris education system and of whom you were enamoured?” Dr Junaid asked Maulvi Zia.

  “Yes I do and ever since I’m longing to see her again. She had told me she would come back and meet me,” Maulvi Zia replied.

  “Well. I have news for you. I know who she is but she is certainly not what she told you. She is not a British resident. Nor is she conducting any research on madaris,” Dr Junaid stunned Zia.

  “Oh really! But who is she and how do you know her?”

  “Her name is Sara Aqeel. She is the daughter of Seth Nisar — yes our Seth Nisar — and she is my student in the philosophy department.”

  “Is it!” Zia exclaimed as he sprang up from his chair. How do you know? Are you sure?”

  “I got as much surprised as you are now when I came to know of her identity. How did I come to know of that, leave it aside. Yes what I told you is as much indubitable as the fact that you are sitting before me. Rest assured.”

  “But why is she Sara Aqeel and not Sara Nisar?”

  “Actually Aqeel was the name of Seth Nisar’s father; so Sara is named after her grand father. If her name were Sara Nisar, I would have recognized her much earlier.”

  “But does she know that you know her identity?” Maulvi Zia questioned.

  “Not yet,” Dr Junaid replied.

  “And what about Seth Nisar? Is he in the picture?”

  “I doubt it. I think he’s in the dark about this. Why in the world would Nisar allow her to be here?”

  “I agree with you. There can hardly be any reason for Nisar to send his daughter to me with fake identity. But what possible reason she can have for visiting me in such a manner?”

  “Well that’s a question only Sara can answer correctly. But, of course, this doesn’t prevent us from conjecturing. Probably she suspected that her father was working for us and she wanted to know why he was doing this and who we really are.”

  “This seems quite plausible an explanation. Though it gives rise to some questions but I’ll not go into those. Now tell me whether Sara can become a danger for us and, more important, does she now the link between you and me?” Zia asked.

  “To your second question I would say I don’t know. To your first question I doubt it. It’s quite some time since she saw you. Had she wanted to create any problem for us, she would have done so. But she hasn’t.”

  “Should we tell Seth Nisar about the adventures of his daughter?”

  “Yes we should. We need to caution him. Ask him to come immediately,” Dr Junaid advised his cousin.

  “Seth Nisar is abroad these days. He’ll be back at the end of the week. Then I’ll talk to him. But what I’m thinking right now is whether Sara can be part of us.”

  “Why? Are you fed up with Rubina?”

  “Woman is like a dress,” Maulvi Zia said. “The more you use her, the mo
re worn out she becomes. But if you insist I can wait.”

  “You had better be patient. Seth Nisar has been very useful for us and would never allow his daughter to be part of our network.”

  “So there’s no way I can have Sara, but why did she stop coming to me? Did she know all she wanted to know?”

  “Probably she realized she would be in danger or probably someone else advised her and in that event Sara is not the only one who knows the connection between you and Seth Nisar,” Dr Junaid opined.

  “Ok. I think we needn’t worry about that. But we need to inform Seth Nisar as soon as he’s back.”

  “Well that takes care of this matter. But now tell me what you wanted to share with me?” Dr Junaid queried.

  “Yes let’s get down to the business. The govt has decided to crackdown on the White Mosque. The decision was made at a meeting where the prime minister and the army chief were present,” Maulvi Zia confided.

  “How do you know that?”

  “Straight from the horse’s mouth. I mean Malik Naseem himself told me. He doesn’t want this operation but his hands are tied.”

  “When will the operation be launched?”

  “In a fortnight, though Malik himself isn’t aware of the exact date.”

  “Do you think that son of a bitch can be trusted?” Dr Junaid asked.

  Malik Naseem is the last person on the face of this earth who we should trust. But in this case he’s not lying. My sources in the agencies have also confirmed this. The security forces will enter the mosque in search of arms and militants. The plan is to defame us before the entire world and expose that we have turned Allah’s home into a den of arms and a sanctuary for militants. But God willing, they’ll not succeed in their nefarious designs. I have already asked the mujahideen to leave the mosque and in just few days they all will vacate it so that when the forces enter the mosque, they’ll not find a single bullet or a single mujahid,” Maulvi Zia explained.

  “This is a good strategy on the face of it. But again, the leakage of information by Malik Naseem can be a ploy to get the White mosque vacated by the mujahideen without firing a single bullet. There’s a lot of stuff in the media that the White Mosque has become a safe haven for the militants and the govt is facing tremendous pressure to act,” Dr Junaid expressed his view.

  “I don’t entirely disagree with you. But we can’t afford any risk. Besides, when the security forces storm our mosque and fail to lay their hands on any militant, that would bring unimaginable shame to the govt. And let me tell you, the mujahideen would never leave the capital. We have many other sanctuaries for them in the city. This is no problem for us. The real problem for us is where to go from here. We had the govt changed and what we considered our own prime minister installed, but we haven’t got anything. There is no let up in the operation against the mujahideen. Drone attacks continue with all their ferocity. The forces are opening another front in Waziristan. We need to find a way out and do so at the earliest. I’m meeting some key militant leaders in few days and we’ll decide the way forward. I need your input.”

  “You’ll have it,” Dr Junaid promised.

  “There are two tragedies in life: one is not to get your heart’s desire, the other is to get it, says a character in Bernard Shaw’s Man and Superman. This is also my philosophy of life,” Prof Rameez told his students. They were having lunch in a cafeteria outside the campus. Though Rameez had invited the entire class, only Naila, Riaz, Javed and Ali could make it.

  “You mean there’s no difference between achieving the object of your desire and failing to do that. How come is it possible?” Naila objected. “Besides, if your view is correct, there is nothing to choose between health and sickness, life and death, wealth and poverty, progress and decadence, growth and corruption, rise and fall, ascent and descent, glory and ignominy, pain and pleasure, heaven and hell.”

  “I once again appreciate your eloquence but you have misunderstood me. I didn’t mean that there’s nothing to choose between life and death or success and failure. What I meant was that the world of desires is endless in time and space. At a given moment, either you are able to satisfy your desire or you’re not. If you don’t satisfy your desire, you’re disappointed. But if you satisfy it, you face another desire and so on. The result is that the satisfaction of desires, even if you were to travel by the speed of light, is never complete and the inescapable result is disappointment,” Prof Rameez explained.

  “But does it mean we should suppress our desires?” Ali asked.

  “And is it even possible or advisable to do so?” Naila added. She appeared to be stealing the show in the absence of Sara.

  “No, I wouldn’t maintain this, for it’s neither possible nor desirable. In fact, suppression of desires is also a desire. But as Lord Buddha said, we should, and that’s very much possible, avoid attachment and antipathy. As far as possible, we should have an indifferent attitude, not towards desires but towards their fulfillment. Though we should prefer health to sickness and success to failure — and we all do so naturally of course —at the same time, we should accept failure and sickness as we would accept success and health. I know developing such attitude is easier said than done, but it’s not impossible,” Prof Rameez tried to defend his position.

  “How successfully have you developed this attitude,” a curious Riaz queried.

  “Developing such an attitude is a continuous process and without being boastful I would like to say that I’m very much in it,” Prof Rameez replied.

  In a short span, Naila had developed likeness for Rameez. He was young, handsome and wealthy. She had realized that Rameez was too mature to be taken in by appearances. So she was trying to win him over by her knowledge and intelligence. Naila herself came of a middle class family. Her father was a civil servant, who was due to retire in couple of years.

  Naila was the eldest of his three daughters. Like most other middle class girls, her main concern was how to find herself a suitable husband: rich, handsome and educated. Much to her dismay, none of her classmates measured up to that standard. They were all well educated, no doubt, but none of them was rich. Riaz had made some overtures to Naila but the fact that he wasn’t wealthy spoiled his chances. The clock was ticking and Naila’s disappointment was on the increase. She was pretty and intelligent. But she was painfully aware that none of those qualities was sufficient to find her a good match or even a good job.

  The arrival of Prof Rameez re-kindled Naila’s hopes. She instantly felt he was the person she was looking for. To impress him, she made it a point to ask probing questions, dominate classroom debates and engage him in discussion inside and outside the class. But so far her efforts had not borne fruit, as the young teacher showed no signs of being responsive to her overtures. He looked upon her only as an inquisitive student, without realizing that her inquisitiveness was a sort of thirst which no amount of intellectual engagement could quench.

  Naila was also painfully aware of her inferiority to Sara. So Sara’s absence that day was a blessing for her and she decided to parade her knowledge.

  “Sir philosophy is a way of life and if a way of life is not practicable for the vast majority of people, is it worthwhile to adopt the same? Besides, avoidance of attachment and antipathy and being cynical towards the satisfaction of one’s desires seems to me a skeptical philosophy at best; because, the underlying thought is that there’s no reason that we should prefer one course of life to another, one set of values to another and one way of life to another. The inescapable conclusion is that all preferences are prejudices, all choices are biases,” Naila maintained.