The Black Rainbow

by Hussain Zaidi

  “Cheating is part of the game my dear. The cheater is only a person who is wiser, more intelligent, smarter or cleverer, whatever you call it. Anyhow, good luck to you.” With those words, Sara went in for the interview.

  Chapter 33

  The interview panel comprised Dr Junaid, Prof Najeeb and Prof Rameez. As he entered the room, Ali recalled his pre-admission interview and he realized how quickly time had passed. After customary remarks, the interview began.

  “What do you think of thinking?” Dr Junaid opened the discussion.

  “Sir thinking is a problem solving activity and the problems come from society and the roles and status that we have; we are supposed to have; or we want to have; or we may have; or we may never have. We live in more than one world at the same time. One is the world of facts in which things just are. Another is the world of values, which presents things as they ought to be or as they ought not to be. A third is the world of contingency, which contains what may be but which is not yet. And finally there is the world of the impossible, which contains things which can never be. Such a world is by definition an empty set. Thinking is the vehicle by which we move between these worlds, it’s the thread between these worlds and at least in part their creator,” Ali explained.

  “You said we live in more than one world. Which of these is the real world?” Dr Junaid asked.

  “On the face of it, the world of facts is the real world. But in point of fact, the answer to your question depends on how we define the word ‘real’. The real may be actual but the actual may be a mere illusion concealing the real. In the end, we may know or achieve the real or it may prove a wild goose chase. The point that I want to make is that we are never satisfied with what we have or what is before us and endeavor incessantly to go beyond that. The world of facts may not be unreal but it doesn’t necessarily represent the whole reality.”

  “But what we aspire for is also the world of facts,” Dr Junaid remarked. “If we don’t have money, we want to be rich; if we don’t have the fame, we wish to be famous.”

  “But the fame or the riches, the peace of mind or the salvation of the soul, we aspire for don’t exist. They are an ideal yet to be sought. But this doesn’t make them unreal, otherwise we’ll not run after them,” Ali returned.

  “And that reality is conferred by thought. Is this your position?” Dr Junaid enquired.

  “Partly, not wholly. Mere thought isn’t the author of these worlds. Thought, in fact, is both a creature and creator of the worlds, an effect as well as a cause. Thought is one factor which makes us what we are or what we wish to be but what we are or what we wish to be also shapes our thought. In sum, it’s a two-way process,” Ali explained.

  It was evident from Dr Junaid’s face that he didn’t find Ali’s argument persuasive. But he remained silent.

  “You said thinking is a problem solving activity. Does this apply to both inductive and deductive thinking?” Prof Najeeb asked.

  “Yes sir. Both types of thinking are geared towards problem solving. But they solve it in their own way. Deductive thinking does so by affirming the established order of things. Inductive thinking does so by questioning and at times repudiating and dismantling the established order. Deductive thinking is a search for certainty; inductive thinking is content with probability. Deductive thinking begins by assuming; inductive thinking begins by doubting. Deductive thinking preserves; Inductive thinking destroys and then recreates. Deductive thinking is thus the basis of religion; Inductive thinking is the foundation of science. Society needs both religion and science, both dogma and doubt, both permanence and change, both stability and progress. Hence, both modes of thinking are useful.” That was Ali’s reply.

  “But don’t you think science needs both induction and deduction and even religion at times asks people to believe in God only if there’s sufficient evidence for His existence?” Prof Najeeb put a counter question.

  “Science does use both induction and deduction. But the deductions of science are inferred from a general proposition, which is arrived at following particular observations. By contrast, the deductions of religion more often than not rest independently of empirical evidence. As for the second part of your question, I don’t deny that religion at times enjoins upon as to believe in God on the basis of empirical evidence. But the belief once arrived at has to be conclusive and not tentative, certain and not probable,” Ali explained.

  “Does thinking shape culture or is it the other way round?” Prof Rameez also entered into the discussion.

  “Sir in my view, the relationship between thinking and culture is a two-way traffic. On one hand, what we think and how we think is shaped by our society and our place in it —the role and status that we have. The thinking of a professor is different from that of a carpenter, that of a politician from an auto mechanic’s, that of the wealthy from the pauper’s. By and large, people in an industrial society think differently from those in a tribal society. On the other hand, thought is the instrument by which we know, understand and change society and our role and position in that. Our thought enables us to understand and transcend our predicament,” Ali replied.

  Ali was an impressionable mind. Though in the presence of Sara he apparently didn’t agree with her views, on his way back home after the interview he was preoccupied with what she had told him clearly and plainly.

  “Is it possible that Sara is right; that her stark realism is the right understanding of the world and the right response to it? Is there something fundamentally wrong with the way I look upon the world? Are my basic ethical and metaphysical assumptions fundamentally flawed?” he questioned himself.

  Ali’s family wasn’t religious — at least not in the traditional sense of the word. However, he was brought up in the typical middle class morality, which was much like conventional religious morality. He was taught that one must be fair in one’s dealings with others, that honesty is the best policy, that one shouldn’t seek one’s happiness at the expense of others; that virtue is its own reward, that in the struggle between good and evil, good was destined to triumph, etc.

  Though following his study of philosophy, Ali’s belief in God was shaken and he would oscillate between faith and atheism, the conventional morality that he had internalized was still intact. Hence, in Ali we had a person whose faith in God had been thrown into doubt but his belief in the primacy of virtue and goodness was too strong to be displaced —a person who might doubt whether there was life in the hereafter, but who strongly believed that the world was governed by moral laws, which ensured the victory of good over evil, of virtue over vice, of altruism over egoism, of truthfulness over duplicity.

  However, the self-assurance with which Sara had defended her position created dents in Ali’s moral envelope. No doubt it didn’t happen suddenly but developed out of his unhappy relationship with Sara. Another thing which had contributed to that was his interview. His thesis in a nutshell was that inductive thinking consisted in the willingness to question and revise one’s basic assumptions in the light of fresh facts and new evidence. “Have you ever done so?” Dr Junaid had asked him. And Ali was too honest to answer in the affirmative, which prompted the professor to advise him to do so.

  “If the existence of God is thrown into doubt, why shouldn’t the same be the case with the ethics which is grounded in His existence? I have been taught that the source of all morality is God. Suppose God doesn’t exist, which logically is not an impossible proposition. In the absence of God, where do conventional ethical values stand? Who will ensure that good triumphs over evil or that virtue is rewarded and vice penalized? Justice is the ultimate virtue. But man is incapable of doing justice, because either he is too weak or too bad. Either he seeks only his own good regardless of that of others or he is too weak to be an equalizer. Only God who is absolutely good and powerful can ensure justice. But if God doesn’t exist, who is there to do justice? And if justice is impossible, why should we seek it? Why shouldn’t we just seek our own ha
ppiness? Why should we see the world through the glasses of goodness and virtue? Why shouldn’t we see the world as it is? Isn’t my predicament due to the fact that I don’t face the world as it is? Why should I think and act on the basis of the assumptions whose validity is not well beyond doubt?”

  Such were the questions which now preoccupied Ali’s mind. But as usual, he was unable to come up with a categorical answer. His intellect told him that he had no reason to stick to the conventional morality but in his heart of hearts he knew that if for nothing else, he lacked the courage to break the shell of the conventional values and look at and face the world as it was.

  Chapter 34

  It was 9 in the evening in Peshawar. A bearded man entered the premises of a villa, situated on the outskirts of the city, owned by an influential politician, who also happened to be a minister in the government. The man was casually searched and taken to the basement through a secret pavement. At the end of the pavement, there were a few rooms He was made to wait outside one of the rooms for a while and then asked to go inside.

  “The government is convinced that I’m dead but they will not make it public unless they find my body,” Maulvi Zia told Maulana Majeed, the man who had just arrived. “Since they will never find my body, they will never announce my death,” he added.

  “Maulvi sahib it’s by the grace of God that you narrowly escaped the infidels’ attack. You are the life and soul of our mission. But when will you make a public appearance?”

  “For the time being I think I should watch the things quietly. It will also give me the time to fully recover.”

  “As always, you’re the best judge.”

  “How are the things in the White Mosque?”

  “A police picket has been set up near the mosque and we suspect agencies are also keeping an eye on us. The mujahideen have strict orders not to come to the mosque,” Maulana Majeed briefly replied.

  “Ok. Who else knows that I’m not dead?”

  “I’m the only one sir. As instructed, I have kept it to myself.”

  “Any news of Dr Junaid?”

  “He is abroad, probably in Europe.”

  “Ok. I have called you on purpose,” Maulvi Zia said in a low tone. “Listen carefully to what I’m going to say.” And then for a few minutes he gave Maulana Majeed some instructions.

  “I’ll do as you say,” Majeed assured Zia.

  Examination of his basic assumptions revealed to Ali that there was little if any valid reason to hold them. But he also realized that there was little if any reason to hold the contrary assumptions.

  “If there is no cogent reason to hold that honesty is the best policy, is there any cogent reason to hold that honesty is the worst policy or for that matter that dishonesty is the best policy? Of course, I may maintain that honesty or dishonesty is the best policy depending upon my personal interest. I may be honest or dishonest if being so is to my advantage. This means any criterion of right and wrong, good and evil, virtue and vice must consist in personal interest or usefulness. But again is there any cogent reason that it should be so? Why should my personal advantage outweigh that of others? There is no cogent reason. Again, how far should a person go in securing his advantage or pursuing his interest? Should I pursue my good in utter disregard of that of others? Even if I have to kill someone for the pleasure of the moment, am I entitled to do so?”

  The more Ali pondered over such questions, the more he realized that answer to them was not that simple.

  “But then why should one act? Or why should there be a reason for acting in a particular way? The search for reason is a search for meaning. Why shouldn’t I just act without bothering to look for the meaning? Don’t psychoanalysts and behaviorists tell us in their own way that either there is no reason for our action or even if there’s any reason, it’s not what we are conscious of? We act just because we have to act depending on how we, given our psychic and physiological condition, react to external forces. But if such an interpretation of the psychology of moral action is to be accepted, then does it make any sense to dub some of our actions rational while others irrational, some intelligent and others stupid? All actions are equally rational or irrational. The one who commits suicide is acting as much rationally or irrationally as one who is trying to save one’s life — since all actions spring from causes of which neither we are aware nor we can control. But if this is true, then there is no difference between the saint and the sinner, the philosopher and the fool, the angelic and the devilish, the pious and the wicked, the savior and the terminator, the intelligent and the idiot. But can this really be so?”

  While Ali was engrossed in these arguments and counter arguments, Mr Naqvi entered the room. Seeing his father, Ali rose.

  “I hope I haven’t disturbed you,” Mr Naqvi remarked.

  “Certainly not.”

  “So what’s up?”

  “Nothing special father. I was just thinking why people act the way they act.”

  “Interesting question! So what’s your conclusion?”

  “I’m afraid I’m still in the dark. The more I think, the more questions crop up. But you want anything of me?

  ”Well, I was just wondering what you have in mind about your future. Your studies are almost complete, so any plans for the future?”

  Ali held his peace, as he didn’t know what to say.

  “Please don’t get me wrong. I don’t want you to decide anything in haste.”

  “I understand father. But I’m yet to make up my mind. You know I’m not good or quick at making decisions. I almost ruined my life by making a wrong decision.”

  “Don’t think like that. We all make mistakes even blunders. The important thing is to learn from your mistakes. Making mistakes is not bad but repeating them is. Now I’m being didactic, which I don’t like. But do you want to study further?”

  “Books are my only passion but this passion need not be satisfied through formal studies. At times, I think I should appear in the civil service examination. I guess I’ll make a decision by the time the final result is announced.”

  “Ok. Take your time. My only advice to you is to concentrate on one thing at one time, on one goal, whatever it may be. Don’t let your energies scatter. This is one lesson I have learnt and learnt so the hard way. Perhaps you don’t know, I wanted to be an author but ended up being a journalist. I have no complaints in my life, no regrets, no grievances against any one. In fact I’m fortunate to have got the best woman as my life partner. What little I have accomplished I owe it to your mother. But sometimes I feel I could have led a better or more fruitful life if I had better managed my time and energies.”

  “But father you can still do what you wanted to do. You still have a long way to go.”

  “I don’t know. I think it’s too late and I should better concentrate on what I have been doing for last twenty-five years. You know there’s one big disadvantage of being a journalist —you don’t go into things deeply. Your approach becomes rather skin-deep and you tend to be guided by popular notions. Journalism is like a steroid — it gives quick results but at enormous cost; it saps any creativity that you have. So another piece of advice from me is not to dabble into journalism. You must be wondering why I am giving you advice after advice. But somehow I can’t help it.”

  Ali felt that his father wanted to talk more. His mother was not at home, having gone to a wedding. The father and son had held detailed discussions but almost always on some public issue. Mr Naqvi had seldom talked to Ali about himself. But that evening he seemed to be forthcoming about himself. Ali always wanted to know more about his father, how he thought and felt not about media and politics but about himself. Was he satisfied with his life? Did he have any regrets? What he wanted to achieve in life?

  “Father what do you think life is?”

  “Dear,” Mr Naqvi began, “there was a time when like you I was deeply interested in that question, though I admit I never systematically studied philosophy or psychology so my tho
ught was not that profound. My father died when I was a student and I had to do different part time jobs to survive and study. So from quite an early age I suffered from an acute sense of insecurity, which persists to date though economically we are fairly well-off. I’m telling you this because my view of life has largely been shaped by this sense of insecurity. After I married your mother, who came of a rich and influential family, for many years I would fear she might leave me though I knew she was a woman of the highest character and loved me intensely. That’s why my approach to life has been largely defensive — concerned more about avoiding losing what I have than achieving what I don’t have.