Sniper

by Lagomarsino, Giulia

  Sebastian stood and walked out of the room as the reality of my situation sank in. My daughter was gone and I most likely would never see her again. My last hope had been extinguished.

  My vision blurred as my eyes filled with tears. My heart felt like it was actually breaking inside me, like a knife had just pierced my chest and was being yanked around. I could hardly breathe through the overwhelming feeling of loss.

  I could still see her beautiful face with those big, blue eyes and that huge smile when she laughed. I would never feel those little arms wrap around my neck again or be able to give her Eskimo kisses. She would never come climb into my arms after nap time or snuggle me in the middle of the night when she woke up. I would never hear her call me ‘momma’ again. Without her, my world didn’t exist.

  I doubled over, falling to the ground as sobs wracked my body, each one tearing through me and ripping my soul in tiny pieces. Chance’s arms wrapped around me and I clawed at the fabric of his shirt, practically climbing up his body to get closer to him. He held me tightly, his hand running up and down my back soothingly. I wanted it to be comforting, but I was beyond being able to be comforted. I was on my way to just feeling dead inside.

  I had never thought about losing Payton before. I don’t think any parent ever really considers what it would be like to lose a child because the thought would be devastating. Now that she was gone, I wished that I could have had one last smile from her. Or maybe I could have held her a little tighter when she snuggled me at night instead of pushing her away when I got too warm. And I would have never yelled at her to be quiet when she got too loud when I had a headache. There were so many things I would have done differently if I had only realized how precious her little life was.

  “Hey,” Chance whispered in my ear. “This isn’t the end. We’ll keep looking. We’ll never give up.”

  “You can’t promise me that. You know as well as I do that the chances of me ever seeing her again aren’t good.” I wiped the snot that was leaking out of my nose and dried my face as my chest hitched with each strangled breath.

  He held my face in his hands, forcing me to look into his eyes. They were so sincere and strong that I wanted to listen. I wanted to believe that he could actually find her. He couldn’t promise me anything, but the sincerity in his expression had me crumbling.

  “We won’t. Give. Up. Do you understand me? I’ll never stop looking for her. I promise you that. I don’t make a lot of promises, but when I do, I keep them. So trust me. Put your faith in me to help you in any way I can.”

  I nodded, not because I believed that he would find her, but because I needed something to hold onto. And I would grab the chance with both hands and hold on until there was nothing left of me.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Sniper

  FUCK, IT KILLED me to be holding her and not being able to do anything but comfort her. My promises were sincere, but she was right, the chances of seeing her daughter again weren’t very good.

  “Hey, let me take you back to my place. We’ll get some rest and then come back in the morning and start again.”

  She nodded against my chest, but didn’t move, so I just held her a little longer. A few of the guys peeked their heads in the door, silently asking me if everything was okay. Nothing was okay right now. Not while a little girl was missing, but that wasn’t something any of them could magically fix.

  She pushed back from me after a while and wiped her face. Her cheeks were bright red and her eyes were puffy from crying, but she still looked beautiful. I pulled her to her feet and took her to my house. She didn’t say anything the whole way. She was quiet and stared out the window the entire ride. There were no questions or even curiosity about where we were headed. She knew I was taking her back to my place and that seemed good enough for her.

  Walking into my house, I had to practically hold my hand to her back the whole way to guide her inside. It was like she was a zombie. I guided her to my bedroom and pulled out a t-shirt for her to wear and showed her the bathroom, but still she said nothing. I watched as she just stared around the room, looking lost and alone.

  I wanted to comfort her, but when I had been holding her in my arms earlier, it felt too good, too intimate with the way she gripped onto me like I was the only person that could save her. I could help her find her daughter, but I had to keep myself separated from all this. The problem with close protection or situations like this, where emotions ran high, was that you started to develop an attachment to who you were protecting. Suddenly, their problems became yours and all you wanted was to make sure that person would never have to be afraid again. I could see it now, working with her was going to be difficult because I had already slept with her, but also because I felt a connection to her. Now, I had promised to do everything I could to find her daughter and I had invited her back to my place.

  Those eyes looked at me like I was her savior, and I certainly wasn’t anyone’s savior. I did my job and I did it well, but I was a killer at heart. That had been my job when I was a SEAL. I was a sniper and I was damn good at it. But the thrill I got when I took out some evil asshole made me enjoy my job just a little too much. That was why I had chosen to go into security when I left the service. I would be protecting people instead of taking them out. However, the last few years had proven to be much different from what I had expected. We had taken on more jobs that required me to use my sniper skills than I would have thought. I could feel that old urge seeping back into my bones, and now that I was dealing with the scum of the earth, people that would take women and children and sell their bodies to sexual deviants, I wanted more than ever to take out my rifle and put it to good use.

  When it was clear that I wasn’t going to get any words out of her, I closed the door and headed for the living room. My couch wasn’t particularly comfortable, but I wasn’t going to take advantage of her fragile state and sleep in the same bed with her. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to put myself in the position to have her snuggling up to me at night. I knew her warm body would feel too damn good against mine.

  Before I laid down for the night, I had to call Chief back and give him an update. He had been worried about Morgan since we got her back. She was the one girl that was left after all the chaos and knowing she was still safe was the one thing he was holding onto right now.

  “Sniper, how’s Shyla doing?”

  “She’s fine. She’s sleeping now. I brought her back with me and we’ll keep her safe until we can figure out who’s behind this.”

  “Yeah,” he sighed. “Whatever you do, don’t underestimate The Broker. The rumors about him aren’t misleading. He really is as ruthless as everyone says.”

  “I won’t. Will you be around?”

  “I think I’m heading out. After all the shit that I just dealt with, I need to get away from this.”

  “You could stay and help us wrap this up,” I said hopefully.

  “I can’t,” he said, just a touch of agony in his voice. “You know how it is when you’re too deep into something. I just need some space.”

  “I get it. Let me know when you’re back in town.”

  “I will. Let me know if you get her daughter back.”

  “Sure, Chief,” I said as I hung up.

  I stretched out on the couch, my feet hanging uncomfortably over the arm of the couch. While the couch being too small was a problem, the bigger issue was that there was no way I could sleep in my jeans. When I was on a job, that was a different story, but here in my house, I needed some goddamn sleep so I could focus on finding her daughter in the morning. I stood and tore off my clothes, flinging them to the chair across the room. I was naked, but I was an early riser and could get dressed again before she woke up.

  Sleep didn’t come easily after that. I would have tossed and turned if there was room to, but there wasn’t. I shoved the coffee table to the wall and spread out on the floor. I had slept in worse conditions in the military. Sleeping on the floor would be fine for t
he night. I pulled one of those tiny throw pillows off the couch that I never thought had any purpose and used it as my pillow for the night.

  It was sometime in the early morning hours when I was jolted awake. A dark figured moved toward me and it took me a few seconds to remember that Morgan was staying with me. I was just about to let her know that I was on the ground when her foot hit my leg and she went flying. I caught her around the waist and rolled, trapping her body gently under mine. Her eyes were bright and wide in the moonlight that was streaming in through the windows. Her chest was heaving and her warm breath fanned out across my face.

  She wiggled under me, moving her legs slightly, allowing my body to drop down between her bare legs. She hadn’t intended for that to happen, I realized, when her eyes went wide. She licked her lips quickly, her eyes dropping to mine, and then she slid her hands around my back, pulling me closer to her.

  I shouldn’t do it. She wasn’t in the right frame of mind. She was upset over her daughter and she wasn’t thinking clearly. But when she lifted her hips to meet mine, I couldn’t deny her. Or I just didn’t want to. I wanted her just as much and the small part of me that was worried about her state of mind was smothered by the larger part of me that wanted to sink inside her.

  I smashed my lips to hers, hearing her groan slightly, reminding me that her lips were still cracked and sore from her days trapped in that well. I had kissed her roughly last time and drew blood. I didn’t need to do that again. When she wrapped her legs around me, I forgot about being a gentleman or being gentle at all. I tore her panties from her body and thrust inside her so hard, that it was almost painful on my cock. But she pulled me tighter to her body, and wrapped her arms around my neck.

  I kept myself distanced from her mentally. I always did when I was fucking. Sex led to feelings, no matter if you were a man or woman. Especially if you were attracted to who you were fucking. And I was definitely attracted to this woman. I had made the mistake several times of getting lost in the moment, of letting the situation allow me relax to the point of forgetting about keeping my distance. I wasn’t ready to go there with her or with anyone else. So, no matter how those eyes looked at me, appearing to see right through me, or how good it felt to have her hands sliding over my back, I ignored the surge of what felt like feelings rising in my chest and pushed it aside for the feelings in my dick.

  When I felt close to coming, I ground my hips against hers, pushing against her clit with each thrust. I wanted her to come. I may stay distant, but the woman in my bed always came. I shoved her shirt up and bit down on her nipple, sending a shock through her system that had her falling apart under me. It didn’t take much to push me over the edge after that. My breathing was hard as I came down from my high and I was aware of my weight smothering her. Rolling off her, I stared up in the dark, pulling the blanket up to my hips to cover myself up.

  I belatedly realized that I should have done the same for her, but she had already done it by the time I thought of it. That was part of distancing myself though. If I started doing shit like that, taking care of her afterwards, it was too easy to sink back into something that felt way too natural with this woman. She made everything seem so easy, so right. But I had already told her that I couldn’t offer her anything and I hadn’t been lying. I still felt that way and that wasn’t going to change, no matter how right she felt in my arms.

  “I just came out for a glass of water,” she said after a few minutes.

  “I’ll get you one,” I said, standing and letting the blanket slip from my body. Shit, I was already going against my own rules and taking care of her. Fuck it, I was just being nice. It wasn’t the end of the world to get the woman a damn glass of water. When I got back to her, I handed it off and sat awkwardly on the couch, waiting for her to get up and go back to bed, but she didn’t. She laid on the ground, taking sips every now and again until the cup started to tip in her hand as she started to drift off.

  Sighing, I snatched the glass out of her hand before it could fall and set it on the table. I knelt down and covered her with the blanket and sat back on my ass, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do now. If I left her to go sleep in my bed, I would look like an asshole and while I didn’t mind keeping my distance, I didn’t want to purposely be an asshole. I could carry her to the bed, but fuck, I just wanted to go to sleep now.

  I laid down and pulled another blanket from the couch, draping it over my body. I glanced over at her again, sleeping peacefully and tried not to think about what it would be like if we did this more often. Or if she were here in the winter and we had the fireplace going and fucked right here on the floor. I rolled to my side so I couldn’t see her and wiped the images from my mind.

  When I woke in the morning, Morgan was draped over my body. Her hand rested on my chest and her leg was slung over mine. Soft puffs of air fluttered across my chest, reminding me of a time when I had actually looked forward to mornings like this. It was too easy to get lost in the feeling, but as long as she was asleep, I’d let it slide. It was okay to admit every once in a while that I actually liked waking up next to a woman.

  I must have fallen back asleep because the next time I opened my eyes, I was alone. There was a really good smell coming from the kitchen, but what I really needed was coffee. My back was a little stiff from laying on the ground, so I did some stretching and reached for my pants. But they weren’t there. I looked around the room, wondering if I had accidentally put them someplace else and didn’t realize it, but they were nowhere to be seen.

  I wrapped the blanket around my waist and went into my bedroom. The floor was clean of all dirty laundry and the hamper was empty. What the hell? I didn’t have any clean pants in my drawer, so I pulled on some sweats and headed for the kitchen. Morgan was at the stove cooking up a breakfast that no way could have come from the ingredients in my fridge.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Making breakfast,” she said with a smile. “I wanted to make you something nice.”

  “But where did you get this stuff from? I know I didn’t have any eggs.”

  She tilted her head as she looked at me. “Well, I saw that, so I went to your neighbor and asked for some eggs. They went out to their chicken coop and gave me some.”

  “My neighbors have chickens?”

  She rolled her eyes at me and turned back to the stove. “I went to the store. You didn’t have any food in the house and I wanted to make you something nice as a thank you. You were still sleeping, so I slipped out earlier and grabbed some stuff.”

  “With my truck,” I said slowly.

  “Yeah. Why? Is that a problem?”

  I stared at her, wondering where on earth this woman came from. She took my truck. Aside from my hypoallergenic pillows and my extremely expensive bed, my truck was the only other thing in my life that I cherished. It was my baby and no one drove her but me.

  “Don’t touch my truck, okay?”

  She frowned, but didn’t argue. “Sure.”

  She turned back to the concoction she had on the stove and finished up, placing it on two plates. She slid one across the counter to me, eyeing me warily as I stared at the food. Then, after a minute, she poured me a cup of coffee and slid that to me also. It was so…domestic.

  The food smelled good and there really wasn’t any point in wasting good food. After the first bite, I knew I was fucked. It was the best thing I had ever tasted and if I got this every morning, I would never be able to let her go. I would have to take her as a maid and force her to make me breakfast every morning. The coffee was even better than the sludge I made. This was the perfect flavor and wasn’t the bland shit that I normally got.

  “So? Is it okay?”

  I shoveled the last bite into my mouth and chewed quickly. Then I guzzled my coffee, trying not to choke when it was just a little too hot going down. I slid my stool back from the counter and walked over to the counter, slamming the plate into the sink. “Fucking fantastic,” I muttered before walk
ing away.

  It was bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit. I would not be swayed by delicious food and I would not allow this woman to come into my home and drive my truck and tempt me with her cooking. I stormed back to my room, only to remember that I didn’t have any fucking clothes. Stomping back out into the living room, I yelled to her in the kitchen.

  “Did you take my clothes?”

  “Yeah,” she said brightly. “You had a lot laying on the ground and since I was up so early, I put a load in for you. It should be almost-” The buzzer sounded, signaling that the dryer was done. “I’ll go grab your clothes now.”

  I stared at her retreating form in confusion. What the hell was going on? Doing my laundry? Going grocery shopping and making breakfast? Had I woken up in an alternate universe where a quick fuck became a girlfriend the next morning?

  She brought out a laundry basket with still warm laundry and stopped in front of me. I side-eyed her for a moment, not sure what to do or say to this woman. Fuck, I didn’t want to make her cry if I yelled at her for becoming some domesticated multi-night stand, but I also didn’t want her to think this shit was okay. “Do you want me to fold it for you?”

  “No,” I said quickly, snatching the basket out of her hands. “I’ll do it.” I eyed her warily again, stepping backward but not turning my back to her as I headed for my room. She looked at me strangely. Me. Like I was the one that was batshit crazy. When I got to my room, I quickly dressed and headed back to the living room. Morgan was standing in the kitchen, wiping down the counters.

  “Ready?”

  “Yeah.” She grabbed her purse and we were out the door, headed for Reed Security. I didn’t say a thing to her as we made the short drive, but I kept my eye on her. It was so weird. One minute, she was a crying mess and now she was acting like a domesticated cat taking over my house.