Title page
Three Score and Ten,
What Then?
Nature brings us beauty during every season of life
Peggy (Mary E.) Smith
Copyright
Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication
Smith, Peggy (Mary E.), 1962,- author
Three score and ten, what then? / Peggy (Mary E.)
Smith
ISBN 978-0-9951871-0-8 (paperback)
I. Title.
PS8637.M5657T47 2016 C813’.6 C2019-904635-4
Printed in Canada
Produced by PenneyandCompany, Powassan, Ontario
Copyright © 2016 by Peggy (Mary E.) Smith. All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
Published 2017
eISBN: 978-0-9951871-1-5
Cover Picture
I chose this specific picture from my collection
for my front cover as I feel it is the perfect
metaphor for the topic of my book.
Winter symbolizes our final season of life,
and the old car from a bygone era
that has been left behind and forgotten
represents our elderly.
A word from the author
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of my imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
I chose to write this story in first person to have it sound like the main character is telling her own story. In doing so, I hope it is more believable. I feel every life has a story, and every story should be heard.
I worked for more than twenty years in long-term care. I have had the privilege of caring for the sons, daughters, and grandchildren of many of our northern pioneers. Those early pioneering families endured great hardships that most of us will never be able to comprehend. I have always admired the determination, motivation, and great strength our forefathers put forth to settle this “Great White North”, and turn it into the land of dreams and opportunities that we have been able to enjoy our whole lives. Because of their hard work and perseverance, we have the privilege of enjoying all the luxuries that today’s world has to offer.
I was raised in a time when we respected our elders and looked up to them as being a very important part of our society. Their experience and wisdom was embraced and highly valued. They were a very important part of the family unit. I had the luxury of knowing my grandparents, and I had a very special bond with them, especially with my grandmother.
In today’s society, youth, beauty, and materialism have overshadowed these traditional ideas. The elderly have become the “Forgotten Generation’’. They are placed in long-term care facilities to spend their last days. In writing this book I wanted people to have an insight into what it is like for a person to have lived their whole life being a contributing part of society only to end up dying in a nursing home. I hope my words will help eliminate the negative stigmatism society places on growing old and encourage readers to embrace old age as a valuable part of life. We must all remember Mother Nature brings us beauty during each season of life, and we need to appreciate every aspect of it.
Peggy Smith
Acknowledgments
A special thank you goes to my wonderful husband, Gilbert, for all the enthusiasm and support he gave me while I was writing this book.
I’d also like to thank Bernard Penney and Linda Payne for all their help and professional advice during the publication of this book.
Thank you to all the residents I have had the privilege to come to know while working for many years in long-term care. Your stories gave me inspiration, and your lives touched me beyond words. The opportunity to be part of your life gave me a new perspective and allowed me to view life in a different way. I hope the words within these pages will bear witness to the time you have spent behind the walls of a long-term care institution during your final chapter of life and provide a voice for each of you. I thank you for being part of my journey.
A thank you goes out to all caregivers who spend countless hours giving of themselves selflessly to improve the lives of those who can no longer sustain their own lives. This, in itself, is a real gift to mankind.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to my grandmother,
Anna (Crozier) Jenkins 1907-2012
who shared with me her great wisdom,
her wonderful gift of laughter,
and whose great strength helped me to get
through some very difficult times.
I was so blessed to have her in my life!
Three score and ten, what then?
Three score and ten,
What then?
How much more?
All my friends have passed
But here I am
Alone
The last
They used to say
That man should live
Seventy years, not more a day
That’s three score and ten
But here I am
Five score
That’s too much more
So when?
I wish to join all who’ve gone
So why must I stay?
Just plodding on
With memories
My only company
My family all grown
Have lives of their own
No one else visits
They’ve all gone before
Why must I stay?
What for?
Peggy (Mary E.) Smith
the party
It seems like a strange thing. It’s the same sort of day out as Ma used to tell about all those years gone by. She said that the day I was born it started out as a very cold and sunny morn. By noon it had turned into a blizzard. It seems ironic that exactly one hundred and five years later it would be identical. Looking out the window and seeing all that snow blowing around makes me shiver. I feel bad for all the travelers.
Seeing my reflection in the window makes me shiver more. I see a very old woman staring back at me. Is that really me? It’s so hard to fathom that it is. I still feel the same as I did all those years gone by. I’m still me, but I surely don’t look like that me. Wrinkles and sagging skin obscure my true identity. Not only has old age robbed me of my youth, but it has robbed me of my sparkling eyes and glowing skin.
I was one-hundred and five on Friday. Even though I know this to be true, it seems impossible that I’ve lived so long. Mentally I don’t feel that old, yet there are days my joints do a lot of complaining, and I know it’s true. I must be mindful to appreciate the fact that my brain has not decayed to the extent that my exterior has.
I’ve lived in three centuries. How common is that? Born in 1897, and now we’re in the year 2002. A lot of things have come to pass during all those years I’ve put behind me. I grew up in a pioneer family, and now we’re in the computer age. There sure have been lots of changes in this old world in my time. It seems hard to believe that I’ve come so far. I guess you never know where you’re going to end up until you get there. Looking forward is sure different than looking back, that’s for sure. The road of life has taken me for quite a ride.
Some say I’m sort of a celebrity to have hung around so long. I think that it’s mostly because I’m one-hundred and five and still have my wits about me. I guess having done my living through three centuries does make me somewhat of a celebrity, unintentionally, but
a celebrity all the same. That’s why all these people think it’s such a big deal to have this shindig for me today.
I guess there aren’t very many who get to see one-hundred and five. Most who get this far don’t have mind enough left to comprehend who they are, never mind how many candles to put on their darn birthday cake. That’s a lot of living done, and it will take one hell of a big cake to hold all those candles. Not sure if I have the wind to blow them out.
I really can’t say that this milestone is such a big deal for me. It’s not so great looking from this angle. All my close friends are gone. Four of my own children are gone. I had to leave the comfort of my own home to move here. There’s been so much loss. It’s been hard to accept, but I guess a body just has to, and moves on. What don’t kill you makes you stronger. That’s what Ma used to say.
I really don’t like all this fuss, but I told my granddaughter, Beth, that I’d be on my best behaviour, if only for her. She has gone to a lot of trouble getting this gathering put together. There will be a lot of fancy decorating and food, to no expense. All for me they say, but I think they have themselves in mind as well. What can you do for an old woman like me on her birthday? I recall those times with my Ma and Pa when they got up in years. Their birthdays were for making memories. That’s what it’s about.
“Knock, knock. Hi Gran. Are you ready?”
“Oh. Hi, Beth. I was deep in thought and didn’t hear you come in. Is it time for me to go to the auditorium?”
“Yes it is, Gran. Everyone is here and they’re waiting for the guest of honour to join them. Are you ready to go?”
“Yes dear, I just need to grab my sweater and we’ll be off.”
My daughter, Jackie, is waiting at the entrance to the auditorium. She gives me a big hug and says, “You look great, Mom. Let’s go in.” She and Beth escort me into the big room. Everyone is waiting for my arrival, and the minute I enter the room they all start to sing “Happy Birthday”. Well, what a surprise! When the song is finished, everyone claps and cheers. I am a little overwhelmed, to say the least.
I take a quick look around the auditorium. The room is packed. I can’t believe that there is such a big turnout with the weather being what it is. Even some of the local politicians are here. I’m interested in hearing what they will say. They don’t know a lick about me or the times that I’ve come through. I guess they’ll find something to say. I’ve never known a politician who was lost for words. They can talk forever and say nothing. Must be a gift. Wow, what a crowd indeed!
Then, everyone comes forward with lots of hugs and handshakes, smiles and laughter, reminiscing, and catching up with news. It is such a gay atmosphere. Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. It really is nice to have the chance to get so many family members together today for a happy occasion. In the past few years it’s been for funerals.
My son Jacob and his wife, Nancy, along with two of their children and families have made it. Of course, Jackie, my youngest daughter, and her husband, Eric, along with all four of their children and families have come. They’re Beth’s parents, and, of course, she’s here with her little brood.
Several of my son Murray’s children and their families have come. My daughter Mary Beth’s three granddaughters and their families, and several of my daughter Charity’s children and grandchildren are here.
Logan’s three children, my step children, and most of their families were all able to make it today. John and his crew are here from Halifax. The others all live closer. I raised them like my own, and he mine, after we got together all those years ago. A good bunch of my nieces and nephews have taken the time to drop by. It touches me how they all try to come together on these special days.
I’m happy to see so many of the residents have joined us as well. They’re like family now. Some have become close friends these past few years. It’s nice to have made friends here. Otherwise, this big fancy place would have been pretty lonesome. It’s quite a crowd for sure. There’s lots of chatter and commotion.
Oh, I see the administrator of this big house, Mr. King, going to the microphone. I guess it’s time to get things started.
“Good afternoon everyone. I’d like to invite everyone to take a seat.” We all do, and he continues. “Thank you. Welcome everyone, and happy birthday Anna. It’s an honour to be here today to be part of your wonderful birthday celebration. I haven’t had the opportunity to participate in very many birthday parties for people that have achieved such a milestone. To think that you are one-hundred and five is truly remarkable. When I met you, thirteen months ago, I couldn’t believe how spry you were. You left quite an impression on me during our initial conversation. I remember thinking that your memory was astonishing. I’ve had the opportunity to talk to you on various occasions since then, and I have learned what a wealth of information you are. You are a very special lady, and you bring inspiration to us all. I hope you enjoy your special day immensely!”
Mr. King introduces the local mayor and he says a few words.
“Thank you, Mr. King. It’s a real pleasure to be here today for such a wonderful occasion. Anna, you are truly a remarkable lady. You are not only celebrating a huge milestone by turning one-hundred and five, but you have lived your life in three centuries. That isn’t unheard of, but it sure isn’t very common. You have witnessed a lot of changes in this area throughout your lifetime. I know that you can tell us anything we’d like to know about our local history. Your family has been here since the beginning. They were amongst the first settlers who moved to our outlying townships, and the information you can share is truly amazing. We are blessed to still have you with us.” He then picks up a huge bouquet of flowers from the table beside him and walks toward me and he says, “On behalf of the municipality and myself, I wish to present you with this gift to commemorate this grand occasion. Happy birthday, Anna.” He kisses my cheek and hands me the flowers, then sits back down. Everyone claps.
Mr. King returns to the microphone and thanks the mayor. Then he introduces our MPP and asks him to say a few words.
“Thank you, Mr. King. It is a great honour to be here today for this very special occasion. I am excited to be part of it, Anna. I can see by the huge turn out today, in spite of the miserable weather, that you have touched the lives of many. I was talking to some of your family before you arrived. I could see the love in their eyes, and hear the pride in their voices when each of them was talking about you. You are a special lady and you must have been a wonderful mother. I am here today to present to you a certificate, signed by the Premier, to commemorate your one-hundred and fifth birthday. I wish you well, Anna. Congratulations and happy birthday.” And with that, he brings the framed certificate over to me and shakes my hand.
“Thank you,” said Mr. King “Now, I would like to ask Anna’s daughter, Jackie, to say a few words.”
With that, Jackie approaches the microphone and starts her speech.
“Thank you Mr. King. I would like to thank everyone for coming today to help Mom celebrate this joyous occasion. I know that it means a lot to her. She was very apprehensive about having a birthday party. It took a lot of convincing by my daughter, Beth, to talk her into it.” Jackie looks towards me and smiles, “I’m so glad that you changed your mind, Mom. It would have been sad to have this special moment in time pass you by without any recognition. It is a very good possibility that no one else in this room today will have the opportunity to live long enough to celebrate their one-hundred and fifth birthday. It’s very rare. Thank you, Mom, for letting us share in your special moment.”
Jackie returns her attention to the rest of the audience and continues. “Mom’s life journey has not been an easy one. She grew up during tough times. Her childhood was spent on the Hayes family homestead, with her nine brothers and sisters. There was no hydro, plumbing, telephones, or cars in her early years. It was a very rigorous lifestyle. Everything was done by manpower or horsepower. Mom would tell you that it was a simpl
er and purer life, in those times. She was very close to her parents and siblings, and has many happy childhood memories to share. Family has always been very important to her.
It was during the war years, World Wars I and II, and the depression years, that Mom married and raised nine children. Life was not always kind to her. There were many hardships for both Mom and Dad to overcome, but their strength and perseverance pulled them together and got them through. As time passed, life improved, and they were able to enjoy many happy times in their later years. That’s when Mom and Dad did some traveling, and enjoyed seeing Canada’s landscape from coast to coast.
Mom has always had a keen appreciation for nature. She enjoys the seasons and finds beauty in each one. She always loved being outside gardening and taking long walks in the woods. I’m sure that has helped her to maintain her physical health. She always said that fresh air and sunshine are good medicine.
Mom is an extraordinary woman. She is a wonderful mother, and a very dear friend. Mom was born in 1897, and has lived her whole life in this area. She has often remarked that she couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. She was born of humble beginnings, and has witnessed history in the making. She is a wealth of information, and has so many life experiences to share. Mom, we love you dearly and have been blessed to have you with us for so long. Happy Birthday”
With all the formalities over it’s my turn. Mr. King introduces me. I stand tall and walk with a brisk step to where the microphone is. I look out at all my visitors, smile, and read from the papers where I have written down these words.
Three Score and Ten, What Then? Page 1
