When the kiss did end, Jed looked into my eyes and said, “Oh, Anna, I love you so much. I never meant to hurt you. I want nothing more in this whole world than to marry you. I don’t want to leave you, but I have to for a while. When the war is over I’ll be back. I’ll come back to you! I promise.”
“I’m sorry I acted so childish.” I said. “I was wounded. I felt like all our hopes and dreams had been shattered. All I want in this whole world is to marry you and be your wife. I want to be Mrs. Jedidiah Harmon. Marry me before you leave Jed. Make me the happiest girl in the whole world.”
Well, our wedding plans were changed. My folks gave Jed and me their blessing to get married before Jed left if we so wished. We decided to do so the following Saturday on my eighteenth birthday. It was a rushed affair and didn’t turn out to be the eloquent outdoor spring wedding that I had been planning. Some people that I had hoped to invite couldn’t make it on such short notice. Winter in the near north was not a good time to take to travelling any distance. Jed’s family and mine were all there, except Lincoln. Uncle Seth and Aunt Sara and their family all came, as well as a few close friends and neighbours. It turned out to be a nice little gathering.
We said our nuptials at the church that our family attended. It was just down the road from our farm. Aunt Sara and Ma put on a supper for us at Uncle Seth’s house. They had a lot more room than we did. We even had a dance afterwards. Aunt Sara played the piano, and others joined in with different instruments. It turned out to be a real festive day. Even the weather co-operated. It was a cold January day, but the sun was shining and seemed to add some warmth.
After supper the men folk all got into the hooch. Jed wasn’t a very experienced drinker, and he got pretty drunk. I decided to take him home around ten o’clock. It was a twenty minute trip by horse and cutter. I recall it being a fairly cold winter night. The moon was full, and it was really bright out with all the fresh snow. The crisp air sobered Jed up some.
When we arrived at the house, Jed was feeling a little embarrassed to have gotten so tipsy on our wedding night. He did manage to carry me over the threshold in true style. Then he put the horse and cutter in the barn. By the time he came back in, I was waiting for him in the bedroom. I had been waiting for this moment for almost two years. I had tried to imagine many a time how it would all play out. I was so nervous and just hoped that I wouldn’t disappoint Jed.
The first time we made love we were both in too much of a rush. Jed climaxed too soon and we didn’t have time to savour the pleasure of the experience. The second time was better, and the third time was magnificent. To be so in love with another being and share such an intimate act was overwhelming. We had joined together in matrimony and in the flesh.
When I woke the next morning, Jed was still sleeping. He had his arm across my bare breast. I could feel his warmth radiating into my chest. I remember looking at him and feeling so complete. Jed was the love of my life, and I knew that as long as I lived, he always would be. I felt so at peace and so content at that moment. I was finally Mrs. Jedidiah Harmon, and I was completely happy. If it hadn’t been for the war and Jed’s imminent departure, it would have all been perfect, absolutely perfect.”
they come in twos
“Those few weeks that Jed and I shared after our wedding were full of joy and happiness. We were like two kids. We were together as much as possible. We wanted to have lots of memories of each other to hold onto to help us get through the impending months ahead.
But our wedded bliss was short-lived. Within a month Jed, Dalt, and Newt all left for Quebec. From there they sailed to England to train. They were all part of the Second Canadian Division and had managed to stay close together. After months of diligent training practices, they were all sent to France to the front line of the war. I was comforted to know that they were together, looking out for each other.
Jed wrote to me often, and I back to him. I read his letters over and over. His words gave me strength. Then I put them under my pillow. It helped me feel like he was close to me as I slept. Even though this seems like it was such a harsh reality to deal with, my life was no different than thousands of others at that time. It was just the way it was, and I had to accept it and carry on. Many young men left their new brides and fiancés behind to go to fight in the war. Some returned, but many didn’t.
I continued to live at our new home after Jed’s departure. I felt like he was still close to me there. It was February and cold, but I was pretty stubborn. Jed’s parents kept an eye on me and helped when I needed them. I tried to help them with chores as well. Jed’s absence was a great void to his folks. His older sisters helped with the chores when they could, but I know he was greatly missed.
Pa and Ma found it pretty tough with Dalton and Newton gone. The twins, Milton and Malcolm, were the only ones living at home. Ma said she was lonesome without the company of another woman around. They made do until spring. Colton, his wife Jane, and their family moved back to the farm in April. They had been living with Jane’s relatives a concession over since they had got married, but Pa needed Colt’s help desperately.
Colt’s wife was a nice young gal. She and Ma got on real well. They had four children by then. That put some life back into the old house. Both Ma and Pa were thankful for the distraction. Dalt and Newt’s safety played heavy on their mind.
By April I knew I was pregnant. I had had my suspicions in March, but wrote it off to stress and worry. I guess all the love making Jed and I’d enjoyed before his departure had proved to be more than sheer pleasure. I figured the baby would be born around Thanksgiving. I was so excited. Part of Jed had stayed behind. We were having a baby. It was sure wonderful to think about, and it gave me back a bit of happiness. Our letters had a happier tone as well. We talked about names for the baby and all the things I was busy making to get ready for its arrival. Jed was hoping for a boy, of course, and talked about all the things he would be able to teach his son.
Jed’s folks and mine were all excited with the news of a baby. It was the first grandchild for Jed’s parents. It gave them such a lift. Jed’s father said that he would make me a cradle, and his mother and sisters all got busy making little clothes and blankets. It was like a ray of sunshine for them. Of course, his parents would no longer hear tell of me doing barn chores or heavy work. They started pampering me to the point that I had to put a stop to it. After all, I was just having a baby.
With the warmer weather of spring, my spirits sure picked up. Jed’s dad ploughed up a little plot for me to put in a garden. That helped me put in my time. Ma and Pa or one of my brothers stopped by quite often to check up on me. I was getting on fine.
By the time haying season rolled around, I was as big as a house. It was a really hot summer, and I was finding the heat hard to take. That wasn’t like me at all. I had always enjoyed summer and the hot weather. My ankles swelled like balloons, and the extra weight exhausted me. Jed’s mother said I needed to stay off my feet more. She was worried to the point that she took me into the doctor. He did a quick exam, and he, too, was concerned. He said that my blood pressure was elevated and that I was probably having a big baby due to my enormous waist line, or lack of it. He advised me to rest as much as possible and take it easy on the eats or things would be hard come delivery time, especially since this was my first delivery.
Well, I took the doctor’s advice, more out of necessity than want. The extra weight took its toll on me. I was exhausted all the time. I felt I was a burden on Jed’s family. I was eating most of my meals there so I could stay off my feet. I was really quite uncomfortable at that size.
One day, in mid-September, Ma stopped by to see me. I was feeling in a bad way. Ma was so worried for my welfare that she packed me up and took me back to the farm. She’d seen other expecting women in my state of health, and they either died before birthing, or the baby was stillborn. She said my stubbornness was going to cause me or the baby ill effect. I think in today’s medical term
s, I would have been diagnosed with eclampsia or toxemia. Back then the medical testing wasn’t up to today’s standards. I didn’t mention any of this to Jed in my letters. After all, he had enough to think about. I was safe and had loving people to take care of me. I was thankful for that.
After two weeks of bed rest at my folk’s house, I was feeling somewhat better. In the first week of October I was feeling so much more like myself again that I considered going back to my own home. Ma put the damper to that. There was no way that she was letting me out of her sight until after the baby was born.
I went into labour in the wee hours of the morn on Thanksgiving Day. Pa lit out to fetch the doctor. Everything progressed quite quickly. The doctor arrived just in time to deliver little Murray Bryce. I was so thrilled that Jed’s wish for a son was fulfilled. He would be so pleased. Then to everyone’s surprise, fifteen minutes later, I delivered little Mary Beth. It seemed like we both got our wish. We had decided on the names in our correspondence to each other over the last months. Murray was Jed’s father’s name and Bryce was Colt’s middle name. I had always liked it. Mary Beth was named after both her grandmothers.
The twins were both healthy and nice sized babies. Now I knew why I had gotten so enormous. The doctor said he never suspected twins, especially since I carried to full term. Even though Ma had had twins, I’d never given any thought to the idea that they would come in twos.
Well, having twins sure put my life into a tailspin. I’d helped care for lots of babies, but two kept a woman pretty occupied. Thank goodness they were healthy little tykes. I was fortunate to have Ma and Jane’s help, for sure.
I wrote to Jed and told him the wonderful news reassuring him that the three of us were all doing well. In his return letter, he sounded so excited to be the proud Poppa. He was shocked to know he had two babies. He sounded tickled to have a son and a little girl who would be his princess. I think the news brought him hope.
Well, those twins grew pretty fast. They were happy and content. Of course, they sure were spoiled. Jed’s family doted on them. They visited often, and I tried to take the twins to visit them on a regular basis. The Harmons were good to me and those little ones.
I ended up spending the winter at Ma and Pa’s farm. It took a few months for me to get to feeling myself again. My folks wouldn’t hear tell of me taking Murray and Mary Beth back to my own home in the dead of winter. I knew they felt the need to take care of us in Jed’s absence. I must say, I was thankful for their help and company. I knew in my heart, that as much as I would have liked to take the twins back to live in the house their father had built for us, it would have been a real tough go for me with two infants during such cold weather. It was one thing to haul water from the well to do my laundry and suffice my needs, but it was another thing altogether with all the diapers and clothes from two babies. I knew Ma and Pa were right.
I also knew that Jed felt better knowing that I wasn’t at the house alone trying to fend for myself and the twins. In one of his letters he had written, “You had best stay put at your folks for a while, at least until you get your strength back. You will have your hands full with two babies to nurse and care for. You need to take care of yourself Anna, and be mindful of your own health. Those babies need you even more in my absence. You have to be their Ma and Pa until I return. I pray that will be soon. I so long for you and the opportunity to meet our children. That time cannot come soon enough. All my love and affection. Jed”
I was very fortunate to have had my family’s help and support. I know that there were other women in the community that weren’t as lucky as I. Times were tough during those war years. As hard as I thought things were for me, without my husband, I had people who loved us living close by. They were always ready and willing to lend a hand. That’s just the way it was back then, family helping family. That’s what helped get us all through.”
love lost
“I remember the day I moved back home with Murray and Mary Beth. It was a nice warm spring day at the end of March in the year 1916. I felt that I had long since overstayed my welcome at my folks’ farm. I know they didn’t really feel that way, but it was time to get back to my own house and do for myself. It was a teary good-bye. Ma and Pa and Jane all kissed the twins good-bye. They would miss having the little ones around.
I had been over to my house several times to clean and tidy up after my long absence. I was feeling melancholy about being away so long. It was time to bring my babies to live in their own home, the one their father had spent so much time building for us. It would be nice to sleep in my own bed, the one that Jed and I had shared. I had missed our home.
It proved to be a busy and tiring day getting unpacked and settling in the twins. I had only expected one baby when I had set up the baby’s room, not two. Anyway, everything worked out, and Jed’s mother and sisters had all come by to help. Jed’s family was excited to have me and the babies home. Now they could spend more time with the twins. They had stocked my cupboards with groceries and the supplies I needed. Of course, Ma sent me home with lots of things, too. I didn’t know how I’d repay everyone for all their help and kindness. I figured when Jed got home we’d have to find a way.
After a few weeks, we settled into a routine. Most of my time was spent caring for Murray and Mary Beth. They sure kept my mind occupied. They helped fill the void I’d felt when Jed had left. I was still really lonesome at night after the babies were in bed, but during the daylight hours the twins didn’t leave me much time to think.
I was outside hanging out the laundry one morning about a month later when I saw Ma and Pa’s carriage coming up the drive. I was excited to see them and ran out to meet them. I knew the minute that I saw their faces that something was terribly wrong. They had come with bad news.
As Ma climbed down off the carriage, I could see tears well up in her eyes. She came straight to me and embraced me so tight that I could hardly breathe. I could feel her lip quivering on my cheek, and I knew even before she uttered a single word that she was about to tell me really bad news. News that would change my life forever.
Ma took a deep breath as she released her embrace. Then she quickly took a step back from where I was standing, put her hands on my shoulders, and started to talk. “Savannah, we got word yesterday that Dalton has been killed. He died in battle at St. Eloi in France. They are unable to bring him home for burial. His remains will be buried in Europe.” Tears were running down her cheeks as she hugged me again. She choked back a sob, trying not to cry.
I was devastated. I could hardly comprehend what all Ma was saying. Tears stung my eyes as I started to sob. A stabbing pain gripped my heart so tightly that I felt that I couldn’t breathe. What a terrible shock! My brother Dalton was dead. “Oh, Ma, how can this be? How can Dalt be dead? I feel so sorry for us all. There is nothing any of us can do. We’ll never see him again. We can’t even say our final good-byes! What an injustice.”
One of my greatest fears had come to pass. How could fate be so cruel? My last letter from Jed had been only a few weeks before. He had said that he, Dalt, and Newt were still together and doing okay. Why? That’s all I could think. Why Dalt?
I looked over at Pa and realized he was still sitting in the carriage. Tears were running down his cheeks. He didn’t utter a word, but was sitting there shaking his head. I was stunned. I had never seen Pa cry before. He had always been such a strong man. To see those tears run down his face and drip from his chin, one by one, broke my heart even more. I pitied him so. His heart was broken. It made me feel helpless seeing him that way. There were no words that I could say to take away the pain he was feeling. There was nothing I could do for any of us. What a huge blow!
My poor folks were stricken with grief. Their son, Dalton Chase Hayes, was dead. He was only twenty-five. Dalt had made the ultimate sacrifice. He had given his life. He was a casualty of war. It was a huge burden for all of us to bear. He was buried in France. His body could not be sent home to
Canada. This was our family’s first loss.
The news of Dalton’s death only reinforced my worry for Jed and Newt. I had managed to put these worries aside these last months after the birth of the twins. They had occupied most of my time and kept my thoughts at an optimistic level. I had only allowed myself to think about Jed, Newt, and Dalt’s return, hoping it would be soon. I kept thinking how happy we all would be when they came home.
Jed had been gone now for sixteen months. My life had moved forward without him. It wasn’t out of wanting to, but out of having to. I had endured my pregnancy and child birth without him. Now I had to rear our two children alone until he returned. He had missed a lot since his departure. I prayed each night for the war to end so all our men could return home to us safely.
Finally a letter from Jed came. He and Newt were safe, for now. He spoke about Dalt’s death. Dalt had died in Newt’s arms. They had been together when heavy gunfire broke out. Dalt had been hit twice and died a short time later. His last words to Newt were, “Tell Ma and Pa I love them. I’m coming home.”
The months passed, and life moved on here at home. Summer came and went. Seeding, haying, and harvest was all behind us once again. On Thanksgiving weekend, Murray and Mary Beth celebrated their first birthday. I made a cake for them and we went to Ma and Pa’s for Thanksgiving dinner.
Rose, Dawn, Eva, Colt, Milt, Malcy, and myself, with our families, all showed up. What a houseful for Ma and Pa. And what a wonderful time we all shared. Everyone had brought food to contribute to the wonderful meal. We had to eat in shifts since there were so many of us. We all reminisced about the fun we had shared growing up and laughed about the crazy things we did. Pa remembered the good catch of fish I’d caught when I was sent to dig potatoes. Milton and Malcolm talked about that old raft we’d made with Newt, and all the fun we had on it. We talked about Dalt and all the antics he had gotten into and the fun times we’d shared with him. Some of those stories made us laugh and others made us cry. It was good for us all. I think that we needed the release to put some closure to his death.
Three Score and Ten, What Then? Page 7
