Marlin's Faith: The Virtues Book II

by A. J. Downey

  “Want to talk about it?” he asked, voice rough with sleep and I thought about it, finally I nodded and when I looked, he was listening, I mean really listening, and so I spoke. I told him everything and he listened, asking a question here and there, and probing gently to figure out what would and would not work so we could avoid similar trouble in the future.

  By the end, tears of gratitude slipped down my face and I was back, cuddled against him, some of the deep, fractured ache of my trauma sealing itself shut under his tenderness and love.

  A soft knock at the door, and he made sure we were covered before calling out, “Yeah!”

  Bobby poked his head in, “Hey, Johnny’s gone to get his kids, we heading to your parents?”

  “The fuck? Is it Sunday?”

  “Uh, yeah.”

  “Shit, I lost track of the days,” Marlin stretched, and he smiled at me. I nodded and he nodded back.

  “We’ll be right out,” he said and Bobby gave a nod and shut the door.

  “You up for this?” he asked me, and I was surprised to find that, yes, yes I was. I felt phenomenally better after spending the time talking it out with Marlin. We got up, showered and dressed, although sadly the little shower on his boat was only good to fit one of us at a time. It was as if I felt a little more fragile today, and as a result, I craved his nearness, his strength.

  When I got out of the shower and dressed, I found him in the little kitchen, a glass of water in one hand, a slightly worried look on his face, as if he wondered if I were about to be offended or not. I smiled, and held out my hand for the pills and relief crashed across his face, as fast as lightning into the sea. I took the two pills, one tablet, and one tiny anti-anxiety med and washed them down with copious amounts of water. The little one liked to melt before I could get it down and it tasted awful.

  Marlin took the glass from me, and before I could protest the after taste of the medicine might get him, he kissed me, and I have to say, his taste was far better than that of the much needed drugs.

  He pulled back and said, “Thank you,” like I’d done him an honor and I shook my head faintly.

  “I’m so sorry,” I started but he placed a finger against my lips.

  “Just a bad night, Baby Girl. One bad night. They’re gonna happen, this won’t be our last. We don’t have any control over when they crash the party, the control we do have is in how we choose to deal with them.”

  “We don’t let them slow us down,” I said softly, with sudden insight.

  “No, we don’t,” he murmured, “One bad night, no bad days.”

  “One bad night, no bad days,” I repeated and he smiled.

  “You guys ready or what!?” Bobby yelled down.

  “We’re ready!” I called, feeling lighter inside, and I knew it had nothing to do with the medicine, it didn’t work that fast.

  “Alright then let’s go! Church lets out in a few minutes and I wanna get there when they get home!”

  “Why is Bobby so excited to see your parents?” I asked quizzically.

  “Because his folks passed a while back, his dad from cancer and his mama from complications from her diabetes, although a lot of folks argue it was from a broken heart. She gave up after Ken passed.”

  “Oh, that’s so sad,” I felt my brow furrow in empathy for poor Bobby. Marlin smiled a little sadly and stroked my forehead with a gentle touch, smoothing the frown away.

  “No bad days, Baby Girl, especially not today.”

  I smiled and agreed, “Okay.”

  ***

  The ride out to Marlin’s parents was a bright one, even with my sunglasses on. The wind did it’s best to cool us, but the hot Florida sun seeped into our black leathers and I felt a trickle of sweat glide down my spine beneath my ‘property of Marlin’ vest and the leather jacket beneath it. I was glad Marlin had insisted on us packing cooler clothing to change into once we got there.

  I didn’t know what to expect when it came to his parent’s house. Honestly, I hadn’t put any real thought to it. I was surprised to find a quaint little home with a perfectly manicured front lawn and equally perfect flowerbeds. The ride hadn’t been a long one, maybe twenty or thirty minutes or so, and when we pulled up, it was behind a late model Honda, a boy and a girl bouncing out of the back seat to either side, and Johnny climbing out of the driver’s seat.

  He looked drawn, but his children were all over it when it came to Marlin, screeching “Uncle Jimmy!” jumping and bouncing, waiting for him to stop and shut off the bike. Johnny was calling to the kids to calm down and wait for Uncle Jimmy to get off his bike when Marlin tapped my knee, reminding me I needed to get down first.

  I got off the back of the motorcycle in my form fitting leathers and felt vaguely self-conscious standing in front of the two kids, a boy and a girl, who were looking up at me as I took off my helmet.

  “Who are you?” the boy asked.

  “My name is Faith,” I said smiling.

  “My name is Violet, that’s my stupid brother, Holden.”

  The girl gave me a gap toothed grin and Holden shoved her, exclaiming “You’re stupid!”

  “Hey!” Marlin barked, “The both of you knock it off, and gimme a hug.”

  The kids, who couldn’t be more than five and six, the girl the older of the two, shouted and laughed, shrieking in delight as Marlin picked them up and tickled them, hugging them and playing like any good uncle would. I smiled faintly and felt a wistful pang, wondering if he would someday realize that he wanted this, wanted children of his own… children I couldn’t provide.

  “Why so sad?” Bobby asked me, he and Johnny were standing with me, watching Marlin in the beautifully kept front yard and I sighed softly.

  “I can’t give him that,” I said honestly and both of them looked at me. I closed my eyes and sniffed, breathing deep and counting in my head to keep more tears at bay. I was honestly tired of crying so much, no matter that I came by it so honestly.

  “What do you mean?” Johnny asked, and he looked perplexed.

  “I got pregnant, while they had me. They did a back alley abortion. Took my baby and scarred me up so bad on the inside that even if I did manage to conceive, I’d never be able to carry to term.” I swallowed hard. I didn’t have to tell them any of that, but Dr. Sheindland had encouraged me to speak my truth whenever possible. That confronting the painful events, over and over again, being brave and taking them head on, would encourage the healing process along. She told me to look at it a certain way, that no matter if it made people uncomfortable or not, that I had been the one to actually live with it. That the discomfort I had endured to this point was nothing on the fleeting moments they would bear and that too often, victims remained silent because they didn’t want to hurt or displease those closest to them.

  That by being open, and honest, about some of the things I’d gone through would allow the ones that loved me, the chance to help me grieve my losses and would foster a better understanding. Of course, she meant this more about my family than acquaintances, but Marlin’s family was supposed to be my family and last night, Bobby and Johnny had told me to consider them all in.

  Both of them were looking at me with a mixture of sympathy and pain and it hurt to see, but it also helped lessen my burden, too. I was grateful for that, and it was Johnny who put an arm around my shoulder and gave me a squeeze.

  “I didn’t know, I’m sorry,” he said, tone laced with guilt.

  “You didn’t know, and it’s okay, really.”

  The ruckus that Marlin and Johnny’s children were causing eventually caused the front door of the quaint little house to open, a woman much older than I expected, coming outside. I’d honestly anticipated Marlin’s mother to be in her sixties, but the woman standing stooped and frail on the front step looked like she was already in her mid to late seventies. The man appearing behind her looked much the same. Both of them held the air of happily married retirees and the glad cries that emanated from them caused me yet another
pang, this time one of nostalgia mixed with wishful thinking.

  My mother was gone and my father we had no contact with, and no idea where he was mixed with no desire to see him. I firmly believed my older sister and what he’d done, and I harbored a deep sense of shame over it. Charity had been too young, and had been hard on Hope. I didn’t know if things had changed but she had always been a daddy’s girl growing up whereas I had been mommy’s little girl up until mom had died.

  Marlin put down his nephew and came over to me, tucking me under his arm. I banished the rainclouds from my mood and took a deep, cleansing breath.

  “C’mon Baby Girl, I want you to meet our parents.”

  We walked up to the front steps and Marlin and Johnny’s mother held out her arms to her two sons. She hugged first one, then the other, though Marlin was stiff around both her and his father.

  “And who might you be?” she asked, beaming and friendly.

  “Mama, I’d like you to meet my girl, Faith.”

  “Oh, look at you! You’re so very pretty, come here, around here we give hugs. Jimmy I didn’t know you had a girlfriend!”

  Hugs were exchanged, a whirlwind of activity ensued and before I knew it, both Marlin and I were changed and seated at the dinner table, talking and plates being loaded with food; although my plate was seemingly loaded for me, Marlin’s mother, Eileen, kept eying me and I knew I was still thin, a couple of months had done wonders for that, but apparently I still wasn’t up to standard around here. By the time she finished I had enough for almost four meals on my plate.

  I was sitting between Bobby and Marlin and Bobby leaned over and muttered in my ear, “Save room for the pie, it’s to die for.”

  He looked up suddenly and asked, “Mama, you get the limes I had sent over yesterday?”

  “Of course I did and I made six, I figured each of you boys would want to take one home.”

  “Shit, we came on the bikes,” Marlin muttered and Eileen gasped, a scandalized sound.

  “Jimmy! Language at the table, and in front of your niece and nephew no less!” she turned to me, “I’m so sorry dear, I raised him better than that, I surely did.”

  I laughed lightly, “You think that was bad, you should meet my sister Hope.”

  Of course, that turned the topic of conversation to me, and of my family, which invariably led to sympathetic coos from Eileen over my mother, and admiration for my older sister for raising Char and I the rest of the way like she did.

  “I’m pretty lucky,” I agreed.

  Then came the dreaded question from Marlin’s father, “So what do you do for a living, Faith?”

  I smoothed my lips together and thought on how to best answer the question, Marlin squeezed my knee under the table and I said the only thing that came to mind, “I was a full time college student two years ago.”

  Craig, Marlin’s father, frowned, and sat back in his chair. Johnny stood up, his children by far done eating and more playing with their food than anything, waiting for the adults to finish their meals.

  “Okay, kids! How’s about we go outside and play?” Bobby asked and Johnny shot him a grateful look.

  The two men took the kids out the back door and I sighed, Marlin helping me out, “What happened to Faith, isn’t really something that the kids need to hear,” he said quietly.

  Eileen and Craig both looked worried, so I took a deep breath and spilled my truth, believing in Marlin that they wouldn’t judge me.

  “Two years ago, I took a trip to New Orleans with my college roommate…”

  I spared the excruciating details, keeping it simple, that I’d been sold by Tonya into sexual slavery, that the men that’d held me had used heroin as a method to keep me both in line and close and that it’d taken two years for my sister to find me. That when she did, it had been her and their son, Marlin to come and get me and that Marlin had been instrumental in my recovery, both from addiction and working my way through the mire of psychological after effects my time in captivity had caused.

  Marlin’s fingers had found the spaces between mine beneath the table, and I clung to his hand as if it were a lifeline. Eileen was in tears by the end of my story, and even Craig’s eyes shone as he looked at his son like he’d never seen him before. Craig stood up and came around the table, Marlin and I stood up too, in reflex.

  Craig captured his son in a bear hug and said to him, “Boy, I have never been prouder of you than I am now.” He looked at me over Marlin’s shoulder and sniffed, saying, “I’m right sorry for what happened to you, Faith, but I’m glad my son has been there for you. That he gives you some peace.” I smiled faintly and nodded.

  Marlin pulled back and looked his father in the eye, “The thing is, Pops, Faith gives me peace, too.”

  Eileen came around the other side of the table and swept me up into a tight hug of her own which startled me, “Sounds like I should welcome you to the family, my girl,” and that is what started the tears in my eyes. Tears of absolute relief.

  The pie really was as phenomenal as all the men had said.

  Chapter 43

  Marlin

  “What ‘cha thinkin’?” I asked her, and she stirred against my shoulder. We were laying in the hammock out back of my parent’s place while Johnny and the kids chased lightning bugs, and Bobby talked with my parents, laughing, around the fire pit.

  “No bad days,” she whispered and I chuckled, kissing her temple.

  “Not today, anyways.”

  “I love you,” she said spontaneously after a long silence.

  “I love you, too, Firefly,” I murmured, using the Captain’s nickname for her.

  She smiled and gave a little laugh, she was staring drowsily out at the kids and my brother chasing the little bugs in the deep twilight. “I’ve never seen them before. I grew up in California, remember? We don’t have them there.”

  “Kind of a sight to see, ain’t they?”

  “Mmhm,” she agreed.

  We were quiet, swaying gently back and forth when she just as suddenly asked, “What happens now?”

  “Now? Well, we head back to Bobby’s and wait, for one. When the Captain and your sister get back,” I lifted a shoulder in a shrug, “We go back to the Scarlett Ann and go from there.”

  “I want to find something to do. I want to be useful.”

  “Might need you to watch Johnny’s kids while we’re out on the water, think you could be up for that?”

  She was silent for a long time, mulling it over, “Are you sure he would want me to? I mean I am still… I have… Maybe I’m not the best person.”

  “Snakes bother you?” I asked.

  “Snakes?” she asked confused, “Like poisonous ones?”

  “Naw, constrictors.”

  “I hadn’t thought much about it, but not overly much, I suppose, why?”

  “We could put you and the kids with Hossler and her kids, so you could help each other. Would that make you feel better?”

  “Maybe. That’s an idea… but why would I need to not be afraid of snakes?”

  Marlin chuckled, “She breeds ‘em.”

  “Oh. So not like really big snakes then.”

  “No, not really big, no.”

  “I think I could handle being around that.”

  I smiled and hugged her a little tighter, “That’s my girl.”

  We got up slowly, neither one of us really wanting to move for being so full of my ma’s good food and being so relaxed. Still, we needed to get changed to ride and a move on back to Bobby’s house and it was time. I led her back to where our gear was stashed in my folks’ spare room and she slipped inside.

  I went back out and waited so I could take my turn, my mama coming up to me, “She seems like a lovely girl, despite all her problems.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I’m finding, too.”

  “I worry about you, Son. I’m proud of you, but are you su–” I stopped her gently with a look.

  “I appreciate it, Ma, but I’m a grown a
ss man and I’m sure.”

  She slapped my shoulder and made an exasperated noise, “Language!”

  I laughed and she laughed too, the back slider opened up and we turned to watch Faith slip out. I couldn’t help it, the sight of her in my rag, and all the rest of her form fitting riding gear gave me one hell of a chub.

  Bobby wandered over and sighed, “We about ready to hit it?” he asked and I nodded.

  “Yeah, stay with my girl, I’ll be right back.” I bent down and kissed my mom on the cheek and went back to change myself, double timing it into my riding gear and back out.

  Faith was saying goodbye to Johnny, my folks, and the kids and I joined in. Bobby was a reckless fucker and was riding in his shorts and tee shirt, without the benefit of any protective gear. I liked my hide intact and road rash free, so no thank you.

  We slipped around the side of the house to the front and left Johnny to break the news of his impending divorce to my deeply religious and commitment oriented parents. He didn’t want us around for it, and I didn’t want Faith to see it get ugly. I was actually surprised my ma had kept it as low key as she had, then again, my parents weren’t stupid people. They saw the difference between Faith’s addiction and Danny’s as clear as I did.

  I was buckling Faith’s helmet on when she placed her hands on mine and made me stop. I looked into her so serious face and cocked my head to the side, inviting her to say her piece.

  “Do you think we could try again tonight?” she asked quietly and I smiled.

  “Absolutely, Baby Girl.”

  She smiled and it was a brave little quirk of her lips. I got on the front of my bike and she got on up after me. We rode back to Bobby’s, her face pensive over my shoulder in the side view mirror, and I couldn’t help but wonder what was weighing so heavy on her mind now.

  We got back to the grove and Bobby’s house and I brought the bike to a stop, switching off the engine which stuttered to silence. The frogs and nightlife provided a soothing backdrop as I dropped the kickstand and leaned my machine onto it. Faith got down and took off her helmet, handing it to me and I hung it off one of the handlebars.