Half-Off Ragnarok

by Seanan McGuire

  “But you still hold yourselves as judge, jury, and executioner when you feel like it’s appropriate, don’t you? You wouldn’t be here otherwise.” Lloyd remained next to the bed, straightening slowly, until he stood taller than I had ever seen him. It wasn’t just a matter of hunching or not hunching; his torso seemed to have elongated, adding a serpentine cast to his silhouette. “That’s why you had to go before I could have my revenge. Andrew was an accident, you know. I was planning to put my cockatrice in your office, take care of the biggest threat around before things got started. So I put it in your yard, and even that couldn’t get rid of you. Slippery bastard.”

  “Sorry I didn’t want to die.”

  “I shouldn’t have expected anything different from a Price. Self-appointed saviors of the cryptid world, who know what we need better than we do.”

  “You know, I’m used to people being mad at me because of who my ancestors were, but most of the time, they’re pissed off because someone I’m related to killed someone they were related to, not because my great-grandfather helped their parents get married.”

  Lloyd laughed bitterly. “You’d best change your thinking, then. You do more damage when you let us live than you ever did when you let us die.”

  “So you put the cockatrice in my yard—then what? Why keep letting it kill random people? Why set Shelby’s building on fire? Why did you need revenge in the first place?”

  “You would have caught me eventually. I needed to get rid of you, even if it meant hurting her.” Something about the stress he put on the word “her” made me profoundly uncomfortable. “As for why I needed revenge . . . those bastards told me I’d be retiring at the end of the year. They said I was too old to do my job and that it was an oversight I’d been allowed to stay as long as I had. Said their insurance didn’t like it when they kept on old men past a certain point. No telling what kind of health problems we could have. Wouldn’t want to see us dropping dead in front of the paying customers. So they were cutting me loose after sixty years of service, and all because I had the nerve to survive past the point where I was convenient.”

  “There are other jobs,” I said, aware of how inane that sounded almost as soon as I spoke.

  It was too late to take the words back. Lloyd sneered. “Maybe for you. When I took that job, no one asked for high school diplomas or proof of residency. It was enough that I showed up for work every day. But you humans, you never stopped hunting us, did you? Not really. You just built different traps. Red tape and fences everywhere. I’m trapped.”

  “I could help you . . .” I tried.

  Lloyd wasn’t listening. “You humans, you make your rules, and you never consider what they’ll do to the people who get in their way. Retirement ages and well-meaning meddling, and for what? So you can feel powerful when you’re the only damn things in the world who don’t have an advantage past ‘thumbs’? Lots of critters have thumbs. You don’t see us prancing around shouting about being the lords of creation.”

  “Hold on a second, okay? Just . . . hold on.” I shook my head. “What are you mad about? Are you mad that you were born, or that you got old, or that the zoo fired you, or that paperwork exists, or something else altogether? Because people have died over this, and I’d really like to understand why.”

  “I’m mad about all those things,” said Lloyd. “And I’m mad about you and Doctor Tanner, too.”

  I froze. “What do you mean?”

  “You’re not much of a catch, are you, Price boy? She’s a pretty girl, and she could have done a lot better than a weedy science boy with glasses and scuffed shoes. But she didn’t look twice at anybody else, especially not the old man at the gate. Not even when I brought her flowers and didn’t check her ID on mornings when she was running late. She didn’t see me. I was willing to let her burn for that, but I came up with a better idea.” He shook his head. “She’s going to see me now. And then she’s going to stay with me forever.”

  “But . . . you’re not even a mammal,” I said, before I could think better of it. The horror of him turning Shelby to stone and keeping her as his captive bride was too much to focus on, and so I went to the safe haven of biology.

  “You think that matters?” Lloyd’s voice took on a sneering tone. “My mama is a crossbreed, and my daddy was a Pliny’s gorgon who wanted nothing to do with me. He couldn’t even look me in the face. My species cast me out a long time ago.”

  “They still take care of you. They let you live here—”

  “Only because they’re so scared of Ma that they don’t know what else to do,” Lloyd spat. “Pa founded a whole new place because he didn’t want to look her in the eye.”

  “The fringe,” I guessed grimly.

  “Why do you think I went there for my cockatrice?” He laughed. “Can’t keep your hands clean forever, no matter how hard you try. Can’t hide forever, neither. Eventually, the world’s going to figure out we’re still out here, that all the monsters are still out here, and then there’s going to be hell to pay. You can’t blame me for trying to hurry that along.”

  Actually, yes, I could blame him. At least three people were dead, assuming no one had died in the apartment fire, and a lot more people had been hurt, either physically or emotionally. Not all damage is visible to the eye. “You didn’t have to take Shelby. She needs medical care.”

  “We have a doctor,” said Lloyd. “Once I get rid of you, Frank will have to patch her up. Then, when she’s awake, I’ll offer her a deal: be my girl like she was yours, and I won’t feel the need to look her in the eyes.”

  “No thank you,” said Shelby’s voice, weak and welcome. Relief flooded through me. Until she’d spoken, I hadn’t realized just how afraid I was that she was never going to speak again.

  “What?” Lloyd whipped around to face her. She hadn’t moved so much as a muscle, and was still a dark, huddled form on the bed. That forced him to lean in closer, and I saw my chance, beginning to cautiously pick my way through the darkened barn as I tried to line up a clear shot on him.

  Hannah, I’m sorry, I thought. It was him or me, him or Shelby, him or a lot of other people . . . maybe Lloyd was right, and my family was too quick to judge the cryptid world. Most of us were human. So what made us qualified to decide who lived and who died?

  He had a point. I didn’t care. If I had to choose one of them, I chose Shelby.

  “I said, no thank you,” repeated Shelby. Her voice was a broken echo of itself, washed out by pain and blood loss. “I have no particular interest in becoming your next meal, or your tethered love slave, or anything else that you may have been considering for me. Alex is quite sufficient to suit my needs. Now do me a favor and go fuck yourself.”

  “You . . . you . . . you mammal,” hissed Lloyd, and did exactly what I had been hoping he wouldn’t do: he grabbed her, pulling her halfway into a sitting position and shaking her. Shelby made a small sound that was halfway between a whimper and a gasp. “Forget healing you. Open your eyes! You stupid human bitch, open your eyes!”

  “No thank you,” said Shelby, for the third time.

  I couldn’t get a clean shot, not in the dark with him half-blocking her from sight. With as much blood as she’d already lost, I wasn’t sure Shelby would survive even being grazed by a flying bullet.

  “Put her down, Lloyd,” I said. “She’s not the one you’re mad at.”

  “I’m mad at all you bastards,” he said, and shook Shelby again. “Open your eyes and look at me.”

  “Shoot him, Alex,” said Shelby, still hanging limply in Lloyd’s hands. “Don’t worry about me. Just shoot him.”

  “You bi—”

  Lloyd’s insult was cut short by Crow, who came screeching through the door with talons extended and feathers fluffed until he looked twice his actual size. He slammed into Lloyd’s arm, slashing with his beak and feline hind claws for an instant before releasing and rocketing toward the rafters overhead, where he proceeded to start shrieking at the gorgon below. The who
le thing happened in seconds. Lloyd dropped Shelby back to the bed, screaming and clutching at his bloody arm.

  And then, as if that weren’t chaotic enough, a lindworm crashed through the barn wall.

  Where there is one lindworm, there is probably another: this is a fact of the natural world, much like “don’t put your hand in the manticore,” and “try not to lick the neurotoxic amphibians.” We’d killed the female lindworm in the forest, and tagged the male back in the swamp. I hadn’t thought to check and see whether he’d come looking for his mate. Apparently, my Church Griffin was smarter than I was.

  The lindworm let out an enraged bellow and charged for the most distinctive smell in the room: the smell of blood, which was flowing freely from Lloyd, thanks to Crow. Lloyd shouted. The lindworm roared, which would have been an impressive sound even if we weren’t all stuck in a confined space.

  “We’re going to die,” I said, dazed, just as the lindworm crashed into Lloyd.

  The gorgon security guard shouted something incomprehensible as he grabbed for the lindworm’s head, trying to force it to meet his eyes. It responded by snarling and snapping at him, driving him farther back against the wall. I stared for another few precious seconds, knowing I was wasting time, and yet unable to tear myself away. This was something no one had ever seen before, so far as I knew; it might be something no one was ever going to see again.

  And that didn’t change the fact that Shelby needed me. I made my way quickly around the edge of the barn, trying to avoid doing anything that might catch the lindworm’s attention. I wasn’t nearly as worried about catching Lloyd’s attention, which was a nice change. I made it all the way to the bed where Shelby lay crumpled without being seen.

  Shelby made a protesting sound when I touched her arm. I shushed her quickly. She recognized my voice and dared to crack one eye open, sagging into my arms with relief. I smiled as encouragingly as I could, grimacing a little as I realized how much blood had soaked into her clothing. Lloyd’s shaking must have reopened her wound, and given where the damage was located, I couldn’t even throw her into a fireman’s carry, which would have left my gun hand free. Instead, I had to carry her with both arms, and hope that we’d make it out of the barn unchallenged.

  The lindworm was still roaring as I made a beeline for the door, and the sound masked my footsteps enough that I actually started to believe that I might get away with it. Then I heard Lloyd shout behind me, sounding offended and enraged all at the same time. I glanced back to see him shoving the lindworm away from himself, that strange, serpentine bend in his torso expanding as fabric shredded and he emulated his mother’s “turn your lower body into a giant snake” trick.

  The lindworm might not have been very smart, but it was a predator, and it knew when the odds had shifted. It fell back, snapping and snarling at the transformed Lloyd. As for Lloyd himself, he ignored the lindworm in favor of pursuing a much more appealing target: me.

  I ran.

  It wasn’t easy with Shelby in my arms and an uncertain terrain beneath me—the lindworm had ripped gouges in the floor, which complicated my escape. I could hear Lloyd slithering after me as I reached the hole in the wall and ducked outside, Shelby dangling heavy and unmoving in my arms.

  I had barely stepped onto the flat ground outside the barn when strong hands grabbed me and yanked me roughly to the side, nearly causing me to lose my grip on Shelby. I took a breath to protest, and stopped when I realized that the man who had grabbed me was familiar: it was Walter, Dee’s brother. The current leader of the fringe.

  “Give the girl to me,” he said, speaking quickly. “I’ll see her to the doctor.”

  “But—”

  “Give her!”

  I could still hear Lloyd’s scales against the barn floor. He had stopped, for whatever reason, without crossing the threshold. Swallowing hard, I transferred Shelby into Walter’s arms. He nodded curtly, like this was the only sensible thing that I could possibly have done, before he turned his back and walked away into the woods.

  Shelby’s blood was hot and sticky on my shirt and hands. I pulled my gun back out of my waistband as I turned to face the barn, ready to challenge Lloyd more openly now that Shelby was out of the line of fire—and stopped as yet another surprise layered itself on top of what was already a surprising afternoon.

  Lloyd hadn’t emerged from the barn because his way wasn’t clear. Dee was standing in front of him, the snakes atop her head coiled in full strike position, her mouth open and her fangs extended. I’d never seen my normally mild assistant look so terrifying.

  “Dee?”

  “This isn’t your fight, Alex,” she said, voice only slightly distorted by her mouthful of fangs. “Run, and don’t look back.”

  I wanted to. It had been a long time since I wanted anything as much as I wanted to do exactly as I was told. If I ran, I could catch up with Walter and Shelby, and leave Lloyd to be handled by his own people. And if something happened to Dee?

  If something happened to Dee, I would never be able to forgive myself.

  “I can’t,” I said, and walked over to stand beside her, bracing my gun against my left wrist as I aimed with my right hand. Lloyd’s outline was clearly visible against the doorway, standing a good nine feet off the ground now that he had a serpent’s tail to lift him up. “Come out, Lloyd. Maybe we can still end this peacefully.”

  “Any chance of that ended a long damn time ago.” Lloyd’s head turned. I couldn’t see his eyes, but I knew from the way that he was angling himself that his attention was on Dee. “Isn’t that right, little sister?” The lindworm lurked in the shadows behind him, clearly steeling itself for another attack.

  “It was always going to end badly, but it didn’t have to end like this,” replied Dee. “You chose this when you killed those people—when you endangered us. Why did you do that, Lloyd?” There was a pleading note in her voice that hadn’t been there before, and as she spoke, the impact of Lloyd’s words hit me. He was her brother. His father had left Hannah and gone on to find a mate of his own species, one who could give him children who wouldn’t be outcast like he was. Walter and Dee were Lloyd’s half-siblings. They were his family.

  It was unfair on so many levels that I didn’t even know where to begin. There wasn’t time for me to decide. Lloyd slithered forward, emerging from the shadows of the barn. I had just enough time to see the ragged, diseased-looking line where his tail joined with his torso, half-formed scales melting into blotchy skin. There were gaps in the flesh of his tail, places where his legs hadn’t quite merged properly. He hissed, displaying outsized fangs. I adjusted my aim, preparing to take the shot, and Lloyd lunged—

  —not at me, but at Dee. She shrieked, backpedaling, and I turned, calculating the shot in the instant before I pulled the trigger. My aim was true. My aim has always been true.

  Gunshots are always loud. This one seemed louder than most. It sounded like it should have carried for miles.

  Somehow, we still heard Lloyd hit the ground.

  Dee ran to Lloyd as soon as he fell, gathering him into her arms and sobbing into the motionless snakes that were his hair. The fact that he’d been preparing to hurt her was forgotten in her sorrow. Crow was already in flight, arrowing toward me. I managed to shove my gun back into my waistband before Crow hit my chest and buried his head under my arm, tail lashing. I wrapped my arms around him and held him, letting him shiver himself back to calm.

  “Good boy,” I murmured, watching as Dee cried over the body of her brother. “You’re always such a good, good boy.”

  A soft scuffling sound from inside the barn drew my attention. I glanced over to see the lindworm’s tail pass by the opening, heading back out into the forest. I smiled a little despite the seriousness of the moment. The lindworm hadn’t done anything but allow itself to be annoyed by Crow, who was admittedly very good at being annoying. There had been enough blood shed already, and I didn’t need to add another lindworm to the total.

  Blo
od . . . “Dee, where did Walter take Shelby? Which way is Frank’s office?”

  “West,” she said, voice muffled by her position. “Walk west, and you’ll find it.”

  My day had included a homicidal gorgon crossbreed and an angry lindworm, and there was still a cockatrice somewhere around here that needed to be accounted for. This wasn’t the time to worry about any of that. Shelby was hurt. Shelby might be dying. And she needed me.

  “I’m sorry about your brother,” I said softly. Then I turned, still holding Crow against my chest, and ran into the woods.

  My parents insisted that my siblings and I learn how to navigate by the cardinal directions before we were allowed to start first grade. It didn’t come easily for all of us; Verity used to get confused, and nearly had to repeat kindergarten. I’d always been good at that sort of spatial orientation, and I ran without hesitation, somehow managing to navigate the uneven terrain without tripping over anything and slamming face-first into the dirt.

  It was something of a shock when the woods finally ended and I emerged into the open field surrounding the gorgon community. I didn’t slow down, but kept running, tossing Crow into the air as I went. He took wing, cawing angrily. Hopefully, his irritation would be enough to keep him in the trees and prevent him from accidentally locking eyes with any gorgons. It was a miracle that he hadn’t been petrified yet, and I wanted to keep it that way.

  I work hard to stay in shape, but that doesn’t involve very many sprints through the forest. I was panting and weak-kneed by the time I reached the door to Frank’s trailer. The door was closed. I stopped myself just short of pounding on it, managing to make myself back off enough to knock politely.

  The door opened a moment later. Frank’s form filled the doorway, and his expression as he looked down at me was utterly impassive.

  “Where is my wife?” he asked.

  “In the woods, with her brother,” I replied. “He’s dead. She’s not. Where’s Shelby?”

  “Here.” Frank stepped aside, allowing me into the trailer.