Passion, Victoria 2: Toni's Reluctance (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Becca Van

  Jack picked her up and sat up against the headboard and hugged her tight, cradling her against him. Ben moved in next to them running a hand over her head as he whispered into her ear. But he spoke loud enough for Jack to hear.

  “That’s it, baby, let it all out. We don’t want you to keep hurting yourself, sweetheart. You don’t need to keep your feelings locked away any more. We’d never hurt you, Toni, we love you, baby.” Jack saw the moisture in his brother’s eyes and tried to blink when he felt tears prick his own.

  Toni cried so long and hard Jack was worried she was going to make herself sick. She cried until she was totally exhausted and slumped against his chest sound asleep, the occasional hiccup wracking her body.

  “Shit, I hate seeing her like this but it was the only way to get through to her.” Jack’s voice was rough with emotion.

  “Yeah, me, too, big brother. Are we going to wake her up and make her talk or are we going to let her sleep?” Ben tilted her face and wiped her tears away with a gentle hand.

  “Let her sleep. She’s going need every bit of strength to get through the next round,” Jack sighed, then gently lay down on the bed with Toni still curved over his body and watched as Ben turned out the light then he crawled in beside them.

  Chapter Eight

  Toni came awake with a start and then groaned as she tried to sit up. Her body felt as if it had been run over with a truck. She was so stiff and sore she could barely move. She realized she was lying on top of Jack and Ben was cuddled up to her with an arm slung over her hips.

  “Are you all right, sugar?” Jack asked.

  “Yeah. Just a bit stiff.”

  “I think we can remedy that, baby,” Ben rolled out of bed, rose to his feet and headed to the bathroom.

  Toni heard faucets running in the bathroom and sighed with anticipation when she realized he was filling the spa bath. Ben came back into the bedroom, pulled the covers down, scooped her up into his arms and carried her into the bathroom. He didn’t let her slide down to the floor, instead he moved up the steps and then stepped down into the half-filled tub and sat in one of the seats cradling her in his lap. When he was settled and Toni was comfortably ensconced on his lap, wrapped within his embrace he tipped her head back until she was looking into his eyes. She was vaguely aware of Jack climbing into the tub sitting next to them.

  “Are you ready to talk yet, baby?” Ben asked.

  Toni nodded and sighed when Jack reached out and took her hand into his. He squeezed it lightly as if encouraging her and giving her some of his strength.

  Taking a deep breath, Toni began to talk and once she started she couldn’t stop.

  “His name was Aaron and we had been dating for around six months.

  “He hurt you, sugar?” Jack asked.

  Toni nodded and sighed as she tried to gather her courage and then began talking again. “He had been pressuring me to have sex with him but, I was hesitant as I was still a virgin. I had finished my last year of college and had started helping mum in the shop until I worked out what I wanted to do with my life. He worked in the hardware store across the lane from the coffee shop and was five years older than I was.”

  “Shit,” Ben said. “Someone that much older than you should have had more than enough experience to not hurt you, baby.” Ben hugged her closer. “Sorry for interrupting, Toni. Tell us the rest.”

  Toni felt Ben’s muscles tense as if he were angry and when she looked up into his eyes she saw that he was clenching his jaw tight.

  She looked over to see Jack was just as uptight but looked down at the water when she began talking again. She couldn’t look at them and see pity in their eyes when she revealed each sordid detail of her past relationship. She didn’t want to see pity or sympathy in their gazes.

  “He came into the store every day for his coffee and used to flirt with me until I started speaking to him in return.

  “We began dating, going to the movies or bowling and dancing. One night at the drive-in he was kissing me and things were getting out of hand so I started to pull back and told him no. I didn’t want to go any further.” Toni sobbed out a breath and took the time to get herself back under control.

  “He didn’t want to stop and began kissing me again. I tried to push him away but he was too strong and one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. He wasn’t gentle. It felt like he’d ripped me in half when he took me and the next day he left town. His father came in for coffee and I heard him tell my mum that his son had just left for a job in Melbourne with a large electronics company. That was the last time I ever saw him or his dad because apparently his dad was moving to Melbourne as well the next day and his store had already been sold to a new owner. I had no idea the store was even up for sale. There was never a for sale sign posted on the shop window. Apparently as soon as it came on the market it was snapped up and there was no need for any advertisement. That arsehole used me and then left without any regards to my feelings at all.”

  Jack rose to his feet, got out of the bath, dried himself off, and stormed out into the bedroom. The next sound she heard was the truck out front starting and roaring down the driveway with a spray of dirt and stones as he spun the wheels.

  Toni didn’t know why he had stormed off, but she felt like it was all her fault again and began crying once more. She cried and cried and couldn’t seem to stop until she had to run to the toilet as she lost the contents of her stomach.

  * * * *

  Ben was beside himself with fear for his brother, hoping he wouldn’t do something stupid but knowing he was beating himself up the same way Ben was beating himself up about the way they had treated the love of their life.

  They had been just as bad as her arrogant ex-boyfriend pushing her into having sex with them when she had repeatedly tried to keep them at arm’s length. After what she’d just told them he wondered if she’d been ready to start the physical side of their relationship. He felt guilty as hell and sick to his stomach. And even though Toni had been the one to ask them to make love to her that first time in the shop, he knew he and Jack should have waited, given her more time to get to know them better.

  Ben held Toni’s hair back from her face as she vomited repeatedly. He was beginning to get worried when she didn’t stop and was dry retching into the toilet bowl and then collapsed on the floor.

  He picked up her unconscious body and gently laid her on the bed. He grabbed the phone off the bedside table and called their local doctor and friend, Ryan Sinclair. He didn’t tell his friend much just that his girlfriend was very sick and he wanted Ryan to check her over. Then he dressed and sat on the side of the bed and called his brother’s mobile phone.

  “What?”

  “She’s sick, Jack. I’ve called Ryan to come and have a look at her. She was vomiting until she passed out on the floor in the bathroom. I’ve never been so scared in my life. I need you to get yourself together and get your arse back here so we can look after our woman,” Ben demanded.

  “Be there in ten.” Jack disconnected the phone.

  Ben heard Jack and Ryan pull up outside the house at the same time and the mumble of their voices as they walked down the hall. Jack stood just inside the bedroom door leaning against the wall as Ryan approached the bed where Toni was lying unconscious.

  Ryan pulled his stethoscope from his bag as well as his blood pressure cuff. He checked Toni over and then took her pulse.

  “She’s fine. Her heartbeat is strong and her blood pressure is normal. She looks tired though. She has dark smudges under her eyes.” Ryan packed his equipment away and then motioned Jack and Ben to follow him to the kitchen.

  “What’s wrong with her, Ryan?” Ben asked.

  “As far as I can tell she is suffering from exhaustion and is a little dehydrated. You said she was crying until she threw up and then fainted?” Ryan asked with a frown.

  “Uh yeah.” Ben looked but couldn’t hold Ryan’s gaze.

  Ryan looked from Jack and then back t
o Ben. Ben could tell Ryan was wondering what was going on. Ryan walked over to the coffee machine and pushed the button to get it started. He walked back to the table placing his bag on the floor beside him and sat down. Ben and Jack sat too and he finally looked into Ryan’s eyes when his friend leaned back in the chair with his arms folded over his chest.

  “Spill it.”

  “We broke her,” Jack said in a ragged voice and swiped his fingers through his hair.

  “Explain.”

  Jack began to explain everything that had occurred between him, Ben and Toni, including the first time they’d had sex in the back of the shop.

  “We warned her every time she tried to take off we’d punish her and we weren’t letting her go until we sorted out a few things. We knew deep down she was hiding from herself, her passionate nature and the love she has for us, because we could see it in her eyes every time she looked at us.” Jack paused to take a breath and scrubbed a hand over his face in agitation. Ben knew exactly how his brother felt because he was feeling the same.

  “What was her punishment?” Ryan asked.

  Ben took over and began talking. “We brought her to the brink of orgasm over and over again, until she was sobbing at us to stop with one breath and begging us to fuck her with the next. After we brought her to the brink the last time she burst out crying. She cried so fucking hard and much I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.”

  When Ben had finished explaining he got up and poured the coffee and brought three mugs to the table.

  “We are exactly like her ex-boyfriend, as far as I am concerned. We pushed her until she broke down. Shit, what have we done, Ry? She’s never going to want to see us again. It will be a miracle if she doesn’t pack up and leave town. What the fuck are we going to do? How the hell do we make this up to her?” Jack rose to his feet, spun around, and threw his full cup of coffee at the wall. The sound of the cup hitting the wall and then smashing into pieces was so loud in the quiet early hours of the morning.

  It would be a miracle if Antonia still wanted to have anything to do with him and Jack. If she wanted to hit them he wouldn’t do anything to stop her. Ben would stand there and take anything she wanted to dish out. They deserved everything she threw at them.

  “Well, I can’t answer for your lady friend but from what you’ve told me I think she will eventually realize you didn’t set out to hurt her on purpose.

  “In fact she may even thank you for breaking through her emotional walls. I think her vomiting may have been because she was feeling rejected once more. Think about it Jack, she didn’t start being sick until after you left. Maybe she thought you were rejecting her because she told you she loved you,” Ryan suggested.

  “I wasn’t fucking rejecting her,” Jack yelled. “I was so angry about what her ex had done to her, I was feeling violent and was afraid I would scare her off if she saw how angry I was. That’s the only reason I left. So I could calm down and not frighten her any more than we already had. What the fuck are we going to do now, Ry? She is going to hate our guts and be afraid to come near us. I don’t think I can live without her, man. God, I love that woman like the air I breathe.”

  “Do you really mean that?” Toni asked.

  Ben, Jack and Ryan turned to see in her leaning against the door jamb wrapped in Jack’s bathrobe. Ryan was the first one to move. He rushed over to her side and held her arm when she swayed against the doorway.

  “Hi, Toni, I’m Ryan Sinclair. I’m a doctor friend of Jack and Ben’s. Ben called me to check you over when you got sick and collapsed. I want you to sit. Come on and sit down before you fall down, and then I want to check you over again just to be sure you’re all right. Is that okay with you?” Ryan asked, a frown marring his face.

  “Yes,” she answered. Ben was really worried. Her eyes were glazed over and her face was really pale.

  “Jack, did you really mean it?” Toni asked again, ignoring Ryan as he checked her pulse and blood pressure.

  “Yes, I meant it, sugar. I’m so sorry for what we did to you, Toni. I hope you can find it within your heart to forgive us, sugar. I love you so much and I know I can’t live without you, but if you don’t want to see us anymore we’ll understand and leave you alone.”

  “No, I can’t forgive you,” Toni said and pain seared Ben’s chest. A glance at Jack and he knew his brother felt the same. Pain was etched into his face.

  Ben and Jack went to stand up. Toni reached out and grabbed one each of their hands. “The reason I can’t forgive you, is because there is nothing to forgive. You were right about me the whole time. I was hiding my emotions behind a wall, not letting anyone in to see the real me.

  “You two are the only ones who realized I was hiding besides Tasha and you didn’t force me to do anything I didn’t want to do with you. I agreed to everything you did. You asked for my consent and I gave it to you. So please, stop beating yourselves up. You did nothing wrong. I want you to promise me something and then I’m going to go back to bed, because I’m really not feeling very well at the moment.”

  “What do want us to promise you, sugar?” Jack asked in a hoarse voice. Ben could see the love shining from his eyes and he hoped that Toni could see how he loved her, too.

  “I want you to both promise me that you’ll punish me again when I do or say something bad, because I love the way you punish me,” Toni said with a tired smile.

  “You’ve got it, baby,” Ben answered the smile on his face growing and emotion filling him until he thought his chest would burst.

  Jack was smiling, too, but instead of answering her, he nodded his head in agreement and clung to her hand.

  “Well, I’m glad that you’ve sorted everything out, but I want you to stay in bed for at least twenty four hours young lady and sleep so your body has a chance to recuperate. I want you to keep your fluids up and drink at least eight to ten glasses of water a day. You two are not to be getting physical with this lovely young lady for at least a couple of days. Do I make myself clear?” Ryan asked in a firm voice.

  “Yes, Ry, we’ll take good care of her and we won’t let her out of bed.” Jack grinned. “Thanks for coming out and checking her over man. We owe you.”

  “Mm, you do don’t you. I’ll have to try and remember that and make you pay somehow.” Ryan winked at Toni. “You need to get back to bed right now, young lady.”

  “I was just about to take her.” Jack rose to his feet and scooped Toni up into his arms.

  “Thank you, Ryan,” Toni called over Jack’s shoulder.

  Ben saw Ryan to the door and then hurried down the hallway after his brother and their woman. Jack was just settling her into bed when he entered the bedroom. Ben sat on the bed and stroked her hair away from her face.

  “Would you like to sleep in one of our T-shirts, sugar, or do you want to stay in the robe?” Jack asked.

  “A T-shirt would be better please.”

  Jack rummaged around in a tallboy against the far wall until he found a shirt while Ben helped her out of the gown. Jack helped dress her in the shirt and then handed her a full glass of water. When she’d drained the glass, Ben took it from her and placed it on the bedside table. Jack climbed into bed with her, helped her to lie down and spooned his body around hers. Ben crawled in, scooted up close and pulled her against him, so that she was lying with her head rested on his chest and his arm wrapped around her shoulders. She wiggled until she was comfortable and then she relaxed into his embrace. She was sound asleep seconds later.

  Ben was content for the first time in a long time and relished having the love of his life in his arms and bed. Jack was quiet and from his deep breathing his brother was already asleep. Ben sighed and quickly slid into the depths of slumber.

  Chapter Nine

  Ben and Jack were as good as their word. They made sure she drank a glass of water every time she woke up but wouldn’t let her out of bed unless she needed to use the bathroom. They brought her light meals throughout the day,
consisting of soup and toast so her stomach wouldn’t feel too heavy because of her inactivity. By the end of the day Toni was feeling much better and their coddling was starting to drive her crazy. She wasn’t used to being pampered and was definitely not used to being inactive. She began to feel very restless and asked if she could get up to sit in the living room for a while.

  “I’ll concede to your request as long as all you do sit and watch TV,” Jack said in a firm voice.

  “Okay,” Toni replied. She was about to swing her legs over the side of the bed so she could get up but Jack stopped her.

  “You need to put my robe on so you don’t get cold, sugar,” Jack grabbed the robe from the end of the bed and helped her into it.

  He wouldn’t let her walk and he picked her up then carried her out to the living room. When she was comfortably seated on the sofa, he got a blanket out of a cupboard and came back to cover her with it. He let her pick out a movie to watch and then sat next to her. Ben was on the other side so she was seated between them, more than happy to be there. Toni made herself more comfortable and lay down with her head on Jack’s lap with her feet and legs on Ben’s. Ten minutes later she was fast asleep.

  * * * *

  “She hasn’t once said she loves us in return. Not since she broke down crying. Do you think if we asked her to marry us she’ll accept?” Jack asked uncertainly.

  Ben had never seen his alpha brother so unsure of himself before. He was usually so dominant and full of confidence. They both were, but Jack seemed to hide his uncertainties behind a hard, arrogant facade. Ben knew his brother was not the hard-arse he portrayed and to hear him voice his uncertainty was a first.

  “I think we need to give her some more time before we ask her. Let her get used to the idea of a polyamorous relationship with us before we push her anymore,” Ben suggested.

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right. It’s just that I don’t want any other male to have a chance of stealing her away from us,” Jack sighed.