The Accidental Genie

by Dakota Cassidy

  Jeannie nudged Nina’s shoulder. “Can I ask you something, MWA?”

  Nina eyed her. “Is it gonna require a long, touchy-feely talk? Gotta tell ya, after tonight, I’m just not up to a bunch of therapeutic, girlie-talk bullshit. I’m all girl’d out.”

  Jeannie giggled, letting her legs dangle from the bed. “Nope.”

  “Then ask and make it quick. I need to go home and see my man the minute the ass sniffer gets back from the store.”

  She gave Nina a tentative look. “If I had been your genie—”

  “If you’d been mine, I’d have stuffed your midget ass back in that bottle and sealed that shit tighter than a virgin’s chastity belt and none of this would have gone down. End of.”

  Jeannie chuckled again, knowing full well Nina would have rescued her like she had so many others. “Just listen to the question.” She paused and waited for Nina to nod her head in consent. “If I’d been your genie, what would you have wished for? Would you have even wished at all?”

  Nina made a face at her. “Is this some kind of fucking test? Like that Rorschach thing with all the pictures that are supposed to mean something? ’Cus I can tell you for sure, they don’t look like cuddly puppies and rainbows to me. Just looks like carnage and innards.”

  Jeannie stifled a giggle. “Nope, I was just curious. You don’t have to answer.”

  Nina’s pause was long, myriad emotions flitted across her face, and then she shot Jeannie a faraway smile. “Yeah, I would have wished. But not for the shit most people wish for: money, cars, boobs, whatever.”

  “Ruler of the universe, right?”

  “You’re funny, squirt. Like I’d fucking wanna have to deal with that kind of responsibility. Nah. Nothing that big. Well, not big to some, but big to me because it’s impossible.”

  “Aha!” Jeannie shook her finger at her. “The chance to eat chicken wings and Ring Dings again, right?”

  “Don’t think I wouldn’t dig a bucket o’ wings and a fucking Ho Hos.”

  “So that’s what you’d wish for?”

  “Nope.”

  “Then what? The suspense, she kills me.”

  “Kids.”

  Jeannie’s breath caught in her throat. Nina was great with children and animals and anything helpless, but Jeannie’d never considered she’d wanted any of her own. At first encounter, Nina came off very selfish, but Jeannie knew that wasn’t who this vampire really was on the inside. She was loyal, protective—and honest to her core.

  She’d given up her eternity to the man she loved when push came to shove and she’d had the choice to become a vampire or let Greg perish.

  That kind of devotion, that kind of sacrifice, came from a deeply selfless soul. It came from someone who loved hard and loved forever.

  Jeannie slung an arm over Nina’s shoulder. “No shit?”

  “No shit. I dig kids. You know that. Never really wanted them until Greg—and even then, I didn’t want ’em until we’d been married a little while. But when I hang with Hollis and my sister Penny, I get this fucked-up feeling in my stomach—like just a little something’s missing. But I gave that shit up when I mated with Greg. He’s enough for me, and I have Hollis and Penny and Katie’s twins from time to time. It’s a good life.”

  Jeannie believed that was true—to her core. “I wonder if you had children if they’d live for an eternity, too? I mean, vampire children.”

  She shrugged her shoulders. “I guess they would, but it’s never happened to a vampire. So it ain’t shit you need to worry your midget head over.”

  But there was this one festering question . . . “Would you want them to live for an eternity, too?”

  “Probably fucking selfish of me, but, yeah. I don’t know if I could deal with my kid kickin’ it before me. Ever. That’s more than I think even I got in me. I’m a badass—but I’m a marshmallow when it comes to the little shits.”

  “But what about the little one? How would you explain eternity?”

  “I guess it would just grow up that way, right? Like Sloan and Keegan, Casey’s kid, Naomi, too. It’s just part of their world. It would meet other vampires or werewolves at paranormal playgroup or some shit. So, yeah. I would have wished for a kid.” She shook her head, a scowl returning to her face. “Look, this is kind of a moot point. Now shut the fuck up and quit talkin’ about crap that ain’t gonna happen and go get with your man. I just heard him pull up with my super vampire hearing. So, shoo-shoo.” She waved her hands at the door.

  Jeannie smiled and, on impulse, threw her arms around Nina’s neck and squeezed tight. “You’re the best evah, MWA. Evah.”

  Nina gave her an awkward pat on the back before saying, “Get the fuck off me. What is it with you and a PDA, dude?”

  It was freedom.

  The freedom to express your joy—your love for another person—without being afraid it would be taken away.

  And now, she decided as she rose and made her way to the door, she was going to go express that freedom with Sloan.

  Opening the door, a door that deep down inside Jeannie knew led to her future, she stepped out just in time to see Sloan with a bag from CVS.

  He held it up and smiled, wiggling his eyebrows. His handsome face taking her breath away. “Wanna try something kinky with Neosporin?”

  Jeannie giggled and wrapped her arms around his waist, burrowing her aching head against his chest. “Oh, yeah. I always wanna try something kinky with Neosporin.”

  He scooped her up gently, touching his lips to her forehead. “I’ve got bandages and peroxide, too. Just to keep things fresh and exciting.”

  Jeannie let her head fall back on her shoulders when she laughed loud and strong. “I don’t know how I could ever be expected to resist bandages and peroxide. I’m giddy with desire.”

  “So you wanna go explore that? You know.” He tilted his jaw toward the door and gave her a lewd smile. “In there?”

  Jeannie’s return smile was warm even as tears formed in the corner of her eyes. She cupped his jaw. “Only if I get to play the part of Christopher Columbus.”

  He rolled his eyes. “God, you’re so demanding. Is this how it’s always going to be? You making demands and me giving in?”

  Always—the word made her heart throb with joy. “We’ll never know until we try,” she said, mentally stepping aside and leaving room for Sloan, giving him the opportunity to walk into that metaphorical door she’d just opened.

  “Then let’s try,” he said, his eyes connecting with hers in unspoken understanding.

  Jeannie didn’t say another word. Instead, she sealed their silent commitment with a kiss.

  A kiss full of promise.

  A kiss full of always.

  EPILOGUE

  Nine Months and Four Days Later—Seven and Counting Freaky-deaky Paranormal Accidents, a New Head Honcho in Genie-ville, a Reformed, Sickly Besotted Playah Werewolf, a Hot Pairing Between Two of the Most Unlikely People in the World, a Brokeback Magic Carpet Turned Human, an Even Super-duper Freakier Paranormal Pregnancy, and a Vampini in a Pear Tree . . .

  “Martyyyy! I swear to fucking Christ, if you don’t get the fuck away from me with your goddamn squishy-feely Lamaze, I’m gonna beat the fake blonde out of you when this is done.”

  Marty beamed a smile and wiped Nina’s brow with a cool cloth, clearly smothering her with motherly love. “Now, now, Mistress of the Dark, remember what I told you about babies in utero. They can hear everything. Do you want your precious angel’s first word to be”—she leaned down close to Nina’s ear and whispered—“fucktard?”

  “No. I want them to be Hello, Auntie Fucktard!” she spat in Marty’s face from between clenched teeth.

  Jeannie cringed and winced, but she refused to believe Nina would be anything but an outstanding parent once the ba
by was within hearing distance.

  Wanda watched the monitor, and if she marveled at the miracle that there was a little heartbeat registering on it, she didn’t show it. “Deep breaths, now, honey. Another contraction’s on its way. It’s time to push, Nina—puuuussshhhh!” Wanda chirped, squeezing Nina’s hand with encouragement while Casey stood by, cheering with pretend pom-poms.

  “What the fuck is this bullshit?” Nina roared, rearing upward in her bed, her long, dark hair sticking up at odd places, saturated with the sweat she wasn’t supposed to be able to produce. “I can’t breathe, dummy! I’m a vampire, for fuck’s sake—I’m not supposed to feel any of this. I have no working frickin’ uterus—how the hell can it be contracting?” she yelped, then set her sights on Jeannie, who stood at the doorway to Nina and Greg’s bedroom. “Swear to God, midget, if I live through this shit and my chuckie doesn’t split in half, I comin’ to get your ass right after Marty’s!”

  Jeannie smiled wide. Ah, the strange, yet awe-inspiring magic of a genie’s wish granted.

  When Jeannie’d been given permission from Najim to grant herself her one heart’s desire, she’d chosen not to use it for herself. Instead, for all that Nina had taught her, for all she’d given in the name of her “midget,” Jeannie had chosen to forgo her wish and use it to give Nina and Greg a child.

  She’d had no idea Nina’d actually carry that child—full term.

  She’d also never in a million years anticipated Nina would experience what every human woman experiences when with child.

  Who knew her wish, one she’d granted because Nina was one of the kindest, most selfless people Jeannie had ever known, would involve morning sickness, sciatica, mood swings—oh, Lord, the mood swings—and a uterus?

  But here they were—nine months later, finally at an end to Nina’s continual bitching in sight.

  Greg held Nina’s other hand, his face that of a worried, expectant father. He’d arranged to have all the birthing equipment brought to their castle so they wouldn’t have to go to a hospital and risk exposure.

  Not to mention, on several occasions, Nina had openly considered her fears about what the rug rat would turn out to be, supernaturally speaking. Thus, no one wanted to take the chance in such a public place.

  So Marty had read books about homebirths on her e-reader out loud to Wanda while Wanda knitted baby booties, blankets, and hats in neutral colors. Casey read tips on successful breast-feeding on the off chance Nina had also gained that particular human trait.

  They’d thrown Nina a baby shower, too. A big one with as many pink and blue items as they could get their hands on. Nina had squawked her protests near and far, but nothing could stop them from making her wear the paper plate hat decorated with all the bows from the shower presents she’d received. She’d had no choice, Marty had joked. It wasn’t like Nina could get her whalelike ass out of its own way to get away from them anyhow.

  During Nina’s pregnancy, she and Sloan had decided to try this relationship thing out sans forced entrapment. Since that decision, her world had grown so much bigger, stretching to new limits with new experiences. It was full of friends who invited her and Sloan to the strangest barbeques she’d ever been to, entailing champagne-glass, blood waterfalls and steaks that merely grazed the grill before they were yanked.

  They’d spent long nights just sitting up talking while they watched football and baseball and any sport Sloan could get his hands on. In return, he watched Top Chef with her, daring her to try some of the recipes. He’d taught her the wonders of HDTV and flat screens. He’d even bought her one for her birthday, but they both knew whom the present was really for.

  They ate out often, saw movies together—celebrated Christmas at Marty and Keegan’s, where Jeannie experienced a full-moon shift. Most of all, their intimate relationship had deepened. Jeannie was now a regular at Victoria’s Secret, and she loved that she shared her purchases unabashedly while Sloan whistled his approval and catcalled as she strut past him.

  So many changes.

  Mat had decided he’d like to give a go at being human again. The result of his restoration was nothing short of fantastic. Thankfully, he was restored to his former age, and while his zoot suit left a lot to be desired, he was also incredibly handsome with sandy brown hair and deep brown eyes.

  The girls were still working on breaking him of using the term dollface, but he’d proven his weight in gold in, of all places, the kitchen, where he and Betzi now shared space and worked side by side as Jeannie’s catering business continued to grow.

  Charlene and Betzi, now completely in on her status as Head Honcho of Djinn Land, had become closer to Jeannie in the ensuing months since Victor had held them hostage.

  They had girls’ night twice a month, wherein they’d taken Jeannie shopping for a new, more colorful wardrobe. The Live Out Loud wardrobe is what they’d titled it over Fuzzy Navels and enchiladas at Miguel’s.

  Most of all, they’d agreed to be her bridesmaids in the wedding she and Sloan had planned in just two months’ time. Nina’d asked them to wait out of courtesy for the fucking beach ball she’d swallowed. If she was gonna have to wear an ugly color like persimmon, she wasn’t doing it looking like an olive on a toothpick, she’d groused.

  In between planning the catering of her own wedding, Jeannie had also spent long hours with Nekaar and Najim, learning the djinn law, practicing for the time when Najim would fully retire and she would take over completely.

  It wouldn’t be easy to travel beyond the veil and handle her life here on this plane, but with Nekaar as her right-hand djinn, and Najim still consulting, she had no fear she wouldn’t be able to keep the balance of genie order. Nekaar had found their genie mole, and indeed, Burt had summoned the help of one of his old friends to find someone to release him from the bottle.

  He’d been the genie who’d swapped the bottle of gin at the party she’d catered what seemed like a thousand years ago. That very djinn was now in what Jeannie liked to call her Genie Time-out program, wherein all djinn, after a first-time offense, enjoyed a bit of Nina boot camp as they atoned their sins.

  As the time for Nina, who’d had a very human pregnancy the entire way, approached, they’d all waited for the call from Darnell to tell them it was a go.

  And here they were, the fruits of Jeannie’s literal labor almost ready to make its entry into the world.

  Phoebe, Nina’s vampire sister, poked her head outside the heavy oak door where Jeannie stood. “Loud enough for you?” she quipped, pushing her way out with her sister Penny in tow. “Penny opted out. She said Aunt Nina yells too much.”

  Penny nodded from her wheelchair, covering her ears and smiling impishly up at Jeannie.

  Jeannie nodded, stooping down to give Penny a quick kiss and a smile. “I hear there’re some freshly baked cookies downstairs, courtesy of Uncle Arch.”

  Penny put her hands to the wheels on either side of her chair. “Vroom-vroom, Phoebe.”

  Phoebe chuckled. “Yes, yes. Cookies. I’ll get her settled and then I’ll be right back up. Yell for me if Nina needs me. Wait. Never mind. I can’t believe I said that. I’ll hear her if she needs me. Commence with the big mouth,” she said on a laugh, lifting Penny like she were nothing more than a new dress instead of a child in a wheelchair, and carried her down the wide staircase.

  Another long scream erupted from Nina’s room just as Sloan flew up the stairs and scooped her up in a hug. “Sorry, I got here as soon as I could. The office was a total hell today. So we there yet?” he asked, cocking his dark head at the door to the birthing room.

  She smiled up at him, cupping his jaw and running her thumb over the delicious stubble that had formed after a long day. “Not yet, but we’re close—I can feel it.”

  “So . . . I have a surprise for you. I was going to wait until tonight, but Team Nina was obviously needed.”


  Throwing her arms around his neck, she cocked her head in question. “A surprise?” she asked, nibbling at his lips.

  “It’s a good one, too, if I do say so myself. I’m in for lots of the bed sport for this one—like bed sport for life,” was his confident reply.

  “Oh, really?” she cooed, shooting him a flirty smile. “I still can’t believe you’re willing to cop to spending the rest of your eternity with a brunette.”

  He grinned down at her. “But I am.”

  “Then I have good news,” she assured him, kissing his jaw.

  “More? I don’t know if I can contain myself.” He nuzzled her cheek, making her sigh.

  “I’m really blonde—blonde and green-eyed.”

  “Shut the front door.” He leaned back from her, assessing her face with a grin.

  “Swear it. I changed my hair color and wore contacts because of the witness-protection thing. And because we still weren’t sure if any of Victor’s enemies would show up, I kept doing it. It was second nature anyway. But lately, I’ve been thinking of changing it back.”

  “How could I not have seen you were wearing contacts?”

  “Because you’re always busy looking at other things?” she teased.

  “But you’re not really five-ten, are you?” Sloan made a mock sad face.

  “No. I really am. If you put me in water, I grow.”

  “I like you, Jeannie Carlyle Charlotte Gorman.”

  “Really? Because I was just thinking I like you, too.”

  “Of course you do. I’m pretty and I have good hair. What’s not to like?”

  “Oh, right. All good reasons to begin a marriage.”

  “So, ready for your surprise?”

  “You’ve asked Lollipop to move in and be our housekeeper?”

  “Damn. You’re always one-upping me.”

  Jeannie snickered. “I hope she likes piles. I’m a notorious pile maker.”

  “Jeannie?” He tweaked her side.

  “Sloan?”

  “Look behind you.”