Love's Back Pocket

by Heather C. Myers

“And this is Tommy,” Holly introduced, nodding at the singer.

  “I still can’t believe you know him,” Brendan’s sister, Sandra murmured, before turning her attention to Tommy. “I’m a huge fan! I can’t thank you enough for the backstage passes. Do you mind if I take a picture?”

  Sandra went to stand next to Tommy while Holly went over to Brendan, who was currently positioned to take the picture. “You know,” he said to Holly, just as he flashed the camera, “me and my sister are meeting up with some friends for coffee. I was wondering if you wanted to come along and catch up?”

  “No,” Tommy answered for her, releasing Sandra and ignoring her thanks. “No. Holly, shouldn’t you and Tanya be … planning a wedding or something?”

  Holly narrowed her eyes in Tommy’s direction, giving him a warning look. “I always have time to catch up with old friends,” she murmured, and before Tommy could stop her, she was gone.

  Chapter 34

  Holly followed Brendan and Sandra through the dark streets of New York. She had never been to New York before, and though it was just after eleven o’clock at night, the summer night was warm. Brendan and Sandra were chatting amiably, Holly adding input here and there when she saw fit, but if she was being honest, she really wasn’t interested in conversation now. Her eyes flitted around her environment, trying to shake off an unsettling feeling deeply embedded in the pit of her heart. What surprised Holly about New York was how many regular people were still habiting the cafés. For someone accustomed to going to bed relatively early and being used to the fact that only clubbers and bar hoppers stayed out, it was actually refreshing for her seeing people her age with no intent to drink and every intention to have fun. Though her thoughts were quite troubling, it made her smile, albeit a small one.

  Looking at Brendan from the corner of her eye, Holly tried to tell herself once again how much she liked him. And not Tommy. She reminded herself of all the adorable things Brendan did, like when he would smile, his eyes would crinkle, or when he was frustrated with a paper he was working on, he’d all but gnaw off the cap of the pen he was writing with. And who could forget that breathtaking smile that lit up his entire face and set off those blue eyes of his? Yet …

  Holly shook her head. It was no use. No matter how many times she told herself that Brendan was the more logical choice, the better candidate, when it came to attaining her affection, her heart wouldn’t listen. She’d be a fool to tell herself otherwise. No matter how badly she wanted to like Brendan and not Tommy, she knew that it didn’t matter. Love was the most irrational emotion she had ever experienced, and to be honest, she wasn’t very amused by its antics. It had impeccable timing, really, showing up just when Tommy was having fun with one of his usual floozies.

  It’s only usual if he does it on a constant basis, a voice in her head taunted. And if you remember right, that was the first one.

  “Nice weather we’re having, hmm?” a voice asked, interrupting Holly’s thoughts.

  “What?” Holly craned her head up to look over into Brendan’s eyes. “Oh. Well, I’m not so sure. I really don’t like the heat all too much.”

  “Huh,” Brendan said, nodding a couple times as he looked ahead of him. “Well, whatever works for you, you know?”

  Holly smiled, but said nothing.

  “Yeah, and in, like, two hours, I bet it’ll start raining,” Sandra joked, before focusing on Holly. “So Holly,” she began, tilting her head forward so she could get a better look at her younger brother’s school friend. “You went on tour with Tommy Nye and The Futurists for the whole summer, correct?” Again, Holly said nothing but nodded a couple of times. She really didn’t want to talk about Tommy, especially when her thoughts were muddled by the man. “How was that? I love the band. I want to know, especially with everything Tommy’s been through … I mean, what did you think of him?”

  Holly was quiet for a long portion of time, trying to think of the correct thing to say. She wanted to be honest while maintaining the privacy instilled in her as a psychologist. Plus, there were some things she didn’t want anybody to know. “Tommy is probably the most unique person I have ever met,” she finally said. “But with that, I find that I can learn from him, and for the past few months, I have.”

  Before Sandra could press for more details, Brendan turned into an outdoor café called The Healing Garden. It was crowded as well, but upon further inspection, Holly realized Brendan must be meeting somebody here.

  And Holly was right.

  In the corner of the boxed section, Brendan sat at a table with two women who were waiting for him.

  “Holly,” Brendan said, flashing his smile over at her as both Holly and Sandra took seats next to each other and across from everyone else, “I want you to meet someone.” He slipped his arm around the auburn-haired woman he was sitting next to, his eyes taking on a different light as he looked at her. “This is my long-distance girlfriend, Janet. Janet, this is Holly, the girl I was telling you about.”

  So Brendan had a girlfriend? Maybe that was why when she looked at him nowadays, she didn’t exactly feel anything, at least not like she used to.

  That’s bullshit, a voice in her head told her, and you know it. Tommy is the reason you don’t feel anything for Brendan. If Brendan didn’t have a girlfriend and hit on you, you still wouldn’t go out with him because of how you feel for Tommy.

  Though Holly plastered a smile on her face as Brendan made the necessary introductions, she realized that that thought was the most troubling one of all.

  --

  The ticking of the clock did absolutely nothing to calm Tommy’s nerves. How long had she been gone now? Too long, if you asked him. But then again, even he would admit that Holly spending thirty seconds with another guy was too long. For the fifth time in two minutes, Tommy ran his fingers through his hair. He was currently seated on the couch in the living room of the flat the band had rented, staring at the door and willing it to open. A few moments ago, he had peered out the window in hopes to catch her walking up to the lobby. But he only saw grey clouds that looked like they were going to spill with rain at any moment. No sign of Holly.

  She wouldn’t spend the night with the guy, would she? Holly wasn’t like that, was she? He tried to reason with himself that Holly wasn’t the sort of girl who would just sleep with a guy, and he might have been successful had his nagging thoughts not brought up the fact that she knew him long before Tommy ever came into the picture. Even if Holly did show up—alone, by the way—what would he say to her? Should he apologize for hurting her with the groupie? Should he tell her that he might have strong feelings about her on the matter?

  At that moment, Mitch walked in from his bedroom to find Tommy sitting on the couch. “Wow,” he murmured, his low voice echoing in his throat. “You look like shit.”

  Tommy glanced over at his friend with his sparkle-less eyes of his, but the right corner of his lips curled up into a lopsided smirk. “I can always count on you to give it to me straight, hmm?” he asked in his low voice, but even Mitch could see the effort it took for Tommy to even joke.

  “She’ll be back,” Mitch tried to reassure him, knowing exactly what was on Tommy’s mind.

  At first, Tommy was surprised Mitch knew anything at all, but then he remembered just whom Mitch was dating. Actually, dating wasn’t the term anymore, was it? “Hey,” Tommy said, shifting his body so it faced Mitch’s somewhat, “can I ask you something?” Mitch nodded, but said nothing. “What made you propose to Tanya so quickly? I mean, congratulations, mazal tov, you know, and the like. But you guys have been dating, if that’s even the right word, for three months now. How do you know you want to—that you can—spend the rest of your life with this woman?”

  Mitch shrugged, a smile touching his lips. “I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Tanya from the moment I saw her,” he told Tommy honestly. “I can’t exactly explain it to you. There’s just something about that woman that makes me weak and yet strong at the s
ame time. I didn’t want someone else to sweep her up and take her away from me, because, let’s face it, somebody would. And I know it might sound weird, but the fact that I can’t explain my brashness only proves to me that the way I feel for Tanya is completely genuine.”

  “And how is that?” Tommy asked, his arms crossed over his chest as he tried to keep the dryness out of his voice.

  “Because if you can explain it,” Mitch said, “then love has become … I don’t know … logical. And love is anything but. You don’t need reasons to love somebody. You just do. And if you find that kind of love with someone, I highly recommend hanging onto it, even if you have to be a fool to attain it. Now,” he stood up, “my fiancée awaits. And don’t worry. She’ll come back. I promise.”

  “Yeah,” Tommy murmured through a heavy sigh as Mitch headed back into his room. “I certainly hope so.”

  Chapter 35

  Holly stayed for a little over a half an hour with Brendan, Sandra, and the rest of his friends before she decided to leave. Sandra offered to walk her back to her hotel, which was just a few blocks away, claiming that it wasn’t safe for women, especially women who weren’t quite familiar with the city, to be walking around alone. When Holly pointed out the fact that Sandra would have to walk back alone, Sandra promised to take a cab back if that would make Holly feel better. Holly said that it would.

  “I wanted to talk to you anyway,” Sandra stated.

  Before she could elaborate on what she wanted to say, a crackle of thunder ripped the sky from above, and without warning, rain began to drop on the city’s inhabitants. Some women shrieked in surprise, while some men cursed, but oddly enough, all Holly could do was laugh. She remembered when she and Tommy had walked out in the rain, which only reminded Holly of her feelings for the man. She was sure her makeup looked absolutely ridiculous now, streaming down her face, but at that point, she didn’t care. All she knew was that she loved Tommy Nye, and that was all that mattered. It didn’t matter if he didn’t like her back; she knew she wanted to tell him, and all she needed to do was to gather enough courage to do so.

  It was then that Holly realized Sandra was still walking next to her, even in the rain. It would seem she enjoyed the weather as much as Holly did. “What did you want to talk to me about?” Holly asked, her voice raised only slightly so Sandra could hear her over the rain.

  “Actually, and I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but I wanted to talk to you about Tommy Nye.” And before Holly could intervene, Sandra said quickly, “Before you say anything, I know that it’s none of my business and you have every right not to tell me anything, but I feel that I should speak up because … well, I speak up about everything, so this really shouldn’t be any different.”

  Holly’s lips curled up, relating to what Sandra was saying only because she felt the same way. It would seem that Holly had a take on everything, and if she felt it was necessary to speak up and say something, in all likelihood, she was going to do it.

  “I know that I haven’t known you very long, and I’d be the first person to tell you that I don’t know Tommy Nye personally,” Sandra began, and Holly had a feeling a ‘but’ was coming around sooner or later. “But in the short time that I saw the two of you interact, I noticed something. I noticed that his eyes look different when they look at you. I can’t explain it, though for the past half an hour, I’ve been trying … trust me. But he views you differently than anybody else. It’s more than admiration or respect. It’s more than friendship. Because when he looks at you, there’s this sparkle in those eyes that’s not there at any other time.” She paused, realizing that she may be too presumptuous. “I mean, you may have a boyfriend or you may not particularly like Tommy Nye, I have no idea. What I do know is what I saw, and I just thought maybe you should know.”

  “Thank you for telling me,” Holly murmured, trying to keep her face passive, but in all actuality, she was screaming with happiness inside.

  “I just want you to know,” Sandra added quickly, “that I’m not one of those girls who exaggerates when a guy looks at her friend. I would never lie to make you feel better.” She winced and then glanced over at Holly. “I’m sorry. That came out wrong.”

  Holly started chuckling, and met Sandra’s blue eyes with her brown ones. “Don’t worry about it,” she told Sandra genuinely. “Trust me. I do it all the time. No offense, but it’s nice to know that someone else does it besides me.”

  Sandra began laughing along with Holly. “I totally understand,” she agreed, and the women continued to walk together in the rain through the streets of New York, chatting amiably.

  --

  Tommy couldn’t wait in his hotel room anymore. His mind was too consumed with Holly, too consumed with what she may or may not be doing with that prick, Brendan. But where could he go? When he was sitting on the couch, he had tried watching television, which didn’t work whatsoever. Then he tried listening to music, which didn’t distract him as much as he would have liked. And then he realized how dramatically his leg was jiggling up and down in utter anticipation because she hadn’t showed up yet. He wished he could barge in Mitch and Tanya’s room if only to ask Tanya if Holly was the type of girl to stay out late at night with a guy. She never seemed like such a person, but he recognized that he could have pissed her off slightly, and she might do it just to spite him. If Holly was one thing, Tommy knew how stubborn she could be.

  He finally decided to go to the lobby and wait there. At least this way, he’d be able to see her come in. He wasn’t even interested in going to the hotel bar. In fact, he wanted to be sober for what he was about to do. Tommy intended to tell Holly what he felt about her, and even if she rejected him, at least he would finally have it off his chest. And who knows? Maybe she felt the same way about him? Tommy wouldn’t get his hopes up, but it was a nice feeling, nonetheless.

  Because he was so antsy, he refused to take the elevator and instead decided on the stairs, despite the fact that he was on the seventh floor. It felt good to have his energy being used on something other than jiggling his knee up and down. When he reached the bottom floor, Tommy pushed the door to the stairway opened and immediately noticed from the surrounding windows it was raining outside. He must have been so distracted with his thoughts that he hadn’t realized it before.

  But no matter.

  The singer strode over to the empty lobby and plopped down on a comfortable beige chair, giving him the perfect view of the lobby door. Though a couple of the hotel staff looked at him oddly, he paid them no mind. His mind’s focus was on Holly and Holly alone.

  And then, just like that, she appeared. She was soaking wet, with hair matted to her face, and the makeup that she had worn was running down her cheeks. Goose bumps occupied the majority of her skin, but oddly enough, she was still smiling. And it was the most beautiful sight Tommy had ever seen before. He stood, shaken slightly, but managed to do so nonetheless, his mouth ajar as he took her in. There was a burning desire in him to go to her, but he felt frozen. He couldn’t move.

  Then, as though she could feel his familiar eyes on her, she turned, and it was like she was staring straight into his soul. Except now, he didn’t mind it. If anything, he wanted her to look at him. She paused for a moment, just looking at him, until her feet started moving on their own accord toward him, and only chose to stop when she was a foot away from him.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, before he realized his lips had been moving.

  Holly furrowed her brow, unsure what he was sorry for but all thoughts vanished when he reached toward her with the intent to touch her face.

  “May I?” he asked. Holly remained unmoving, but didn’t say no, and so Tommy took that as permission to cup both cheeks with his hands. Very gently, he moved his thumbs in order to wipe the makeup off of her face as best as he could. “I like you better without all of this on,” he murmured in explanation.

  “Tommy, there really is something I should say,” Holly said, but Tommy quickly tou
ched his index finger to his lips.

  “Let me get this out, Holl,” he pleaded, his voice low, his tone serious. “I know that I’m an arrogant asshole, and for some reason, I seem to really enjoy upsetting you. I didn’t like the fact that you can see through me, and yet I’ve never felt as drawn to anyone as I am with you. I’ve had a pretty shitty past, and it hasn’t made me a great person, but when I’m around you, I want to be a better man. You bring out the best in me, Holly. And that’s one of the many reasons why I love you.” He paused, cocking his head to the side, before asking, “Now what was it you wanted to say?”

  Holly stared at him, completely in shock. Not because of what he had said, mind you, but because it was somehow so easy for him to say it. Even when he was confessing his love, he managed to irk her just a bit. However, she took a step toward him, closing the distance and crashing her lips against his. She had wanted to do that for a long time, but hadn’t had the courage to do so until that moment.

  “Does that mean you love me back?” Tommy teased once the couple broke apart, the left corner of his lip lifting upward, easing into a smirk, as his arms wrapped around her waist.