The Law of Motion (Law Series)

by Di'Nisha Robinson

  When I couldn’t put it off any longer I pulled myself out and got dressed. I was relieved that she was able to find my sneakers because I didn’t want to walk around barefoot anymore. The office was quiet as hell when I walked downstairs, causing me to check a few offices as I passed them on the way to my own. Kristen’s was empty, but I expected that. She had already said that she was going to take Makenna home and spend some time with Macon, and promised to call me later. But when I walked by Tink and Doc’s work space they too were gone.

  By the time I made it to my own office to pack up my stuff and head back to my—Adrian’s home to talk, I pretty much assumed that everyone had cleared out to spend their day to themselves. I opened the door and froze when I saw Adrian leaning against my desk.

  “Hey.” I greeted softly, because he looked so tired.

  He didn’t smile, and when he looked up at me I could tell that he had been crying. It was a strange look for him, and though I wanted to reach out to him I didn’t. “Hi.” He greeted back dryly.

  “How are—” I started.

  “Are you really going to ask how I am Alyssa?” He interrupted his voice harsh, tired, raspy, and irritated.

  I started to get defensive, but then knowing I caused it, I had no right to be. “You’re right, that is a stupid question. We should talk.”

  “Here?” He asked waiting.

  “If you’d like…” I said softer, running a hand thorough my still wet hair.

  He shook his head. “No, not here, home, where we should have talked in the first place.”

  “Fair enough,” I surrendered walking out the door and down the hall letting him out the door first so that I could lock up.

  The ride to the house was quite, and a little unnerving. Adrian clutched the wheel of his Challenger until his knuckles were white, and the gear shift the same way. He stared straight ahead, and I wasn’t sure if it was because he was angry or because he didn’t want to say the wrong thing. I chose to not ask and stared out the window until he finally punched the button to open up the gates that lead to the driveway.

  We exited the car just as quietly, and I folded my arms across my chest, rubbing my arms. As we walked around the drive to the front door I noticed my vanity chair on the front lawn. There was glass around it with pieces of broken wood that were painted white. I looked up to see the bedroom window had been broken. “The window—”

  “I know.” He answered unlocking the front door and holding it open. “Dad and I are going to fix it tomorrow.”

  He was waiting for me to go inside, I hesitated taking one more look at the chair before walking in. “And the chair on the lawn?”

  “Opened the window.” He answered simply, his tone still lacking life.

  We didn’t go upstairs; we just stood in the living room awkwardly until he motioned for me to sit. I sat on the loveseat across from him rubbing my hands on my sweatpants waiting for the words to come. “I’m sure that you have a lot of questions.”

  “I do.” He answered.

  “Well I will answer them first if you’d like.” I offered unsure of where to start myself.

  “What the hell happened last night?” He started sitting down in the chair. “Things were going well and then all of a sudden you say we aren’t working and you leave.”

  I hung my head staring at my hands as I spoke. “I’m sorry about that, I just didn’t see any other way. To save you anymore stress and pain when it comes to dealing with me.”

  “What stress, what pain?” He asked running a frustrated hand in his hair. His untamed du looked more crazy than normal, “Alyssa the only time that I feel any of those things is when you’re gone.”

  I sighed, “Doc said that was the case.”

  “Well Doc is normally right.” He responded gruffly.

  I took another deep breath closing my eyes and counting to ten. When I reopened them he was staring at me, expectant, the mixture of blue and grey still hurting. “Adrian, there are some things you need to know, and I need you to not interrupt me because I’m afraid I won’t be able to get them out if you do.” He nodded and I went on. “The first thing you need to know is that leaving, and attempting to end things with you is one of the hardest choices I ever had. I had this idea in my head, about what was rightbut I couldn’t force myself to do it.”

  He scoffed and mumbled something under his breath in disbelief and I stopped. He looked back at me apologetically and then urged me a bit softer, “Go on, I’m sorry.”

  I waited until I was sure that he wasn’t going to interrupt again. “It actually is hard for me, but it there aren’t many choices. You had asked me to marry you again, and I realized that it was something I couldn’t ignore anymore.”

  I could feel my tears coming, not the ones that turned me into a mess, but the silent ones, that reflected how I felt inside. “I love you Adrian. I have since before we moved in together. I’m sorry that it took so long for me to verbalize it, but when things in my life seem to be perfect, something always goes wrong, and in my own odd way I was trying to keep us perfect for as long as I could.”

  The look in his eyes told me that he wanted to say something, but he waited patiently as I found more words inside me. “When you asked to marry me, I felt so many emotions at once; I was happy, because I wanted to scream ‘yes’ like all of the silly girls do in the movies, and I was sad because I couldn’t.

  You’re an amazing man Adrian, the type that deserves everything that he wants in life and it hurts me that I can’t be the one to give it to you. I don’t deserve you, and I’ve been selfish enough this entire time to attempt to find a way to keep you anyway.

  I’ve been keeping something from you, and it wouldn’t be fair of me to say ‘yes’ knowing I can’t give you what you want. I’ve kept it from everyone, even the girls until today, and I don’t want to lie to you or them anymore.”

  He grimaced, his hands in fists in his lap, his voice shaking, “Alyssa I know you said not to interrupt, but I need to know now. Please tell me that this has nothing to do with Hunter.”

  My eyes widened for a second, “No!” He relaxed with an exhale and I continued. “No Adrian, I love you. I wouldn’t do that to you. Just let me finish please.”

  He nodded again and with a “Sorry.”

  “You want to marry me, and have a family, and I’ve always told you that I didn’t have what it took to be a wife and a mother, but when I said that I didn’t just mean figuratively.” He stared at me blankly as I explained. “I’ve never told you, or anyone for that matter, but my injuries from my time in Cuba, have left me with the inability to have children.”

  His words caught in his chest and he swallowed the lump in his throat. I waited to see if he was going to say anything as I swiped at my eyes, but when he didn’t I continued. “The first time that you proposed, after Tink and Jackson’s wedding, I said no, not because I wanted to, but because I needed to be sure I could even offer what you wanted first. Then everything was delayed because of us losing Juan and it took more time than I thought to see Dr. Roberts.

  I should have told you when you first started talking about it, but I didn’t want to lose you. I was torn because I didn’t want you to have to adjust anymore for me either, when you deserve so much—”

  My speech was cut off because he was across the space between us and his lips were against mine before I had a chance to finish the thought. I pulled back from him for air and I could see that his own eyes were red from tears. I wiped them and he kissed me again, and I finally gave him a chance to speak.

  “I’m in love with you Alyssa, I want to marry you.” He repeated for the thousandth time.

  I exhaled kissing him again as he wiped my tears away. “But I can’t give you want.”

  “I want you.” He practically growled trying to stress that point. “Kids we can deal with later. We can adopt, and it wouldn’t make a world of difference because it would be our family. I can live without getting anything else for the rest o
f my life, but I can’t live without you.”

  I searched my favorite set of eyes for truth as he said the words I wanted to hear, I wiped his tears away again before asking, “Are you sure?”

  “Tell me you love me.” He demanded.

  I nodded more certain than anything. “I love you, I’ll always love you.”

  “I fucking love you Alyssa, and I will show you that every day. You are the only thing that matters to me. The rest is extra. Tell me that you’ll marry me.”

  I thought it through for a moment, and then pushed away all of the fear and hesitation kissing him again. “Yes, yes Adrian I’ll marry you.”

  He didn’t say anything else after that; he ran his hands through my hair kissing me senseless. The fear of commitment now replaced with need for him. He wrapped his arms around me, forcing my body as close to him as possible, my lips only breaking away to plant kisses on his neck as he kicked off his shoes. I did the same, locking my legs around him, letting him carry me upstairs where we found our comfort within each other.

  ———————

  The breeze coming in the broken window woke me, and I wasn’t sure how long we had been asleep. I stretched my legs and arms feeling the stiffness from me being inactive for a long period of time. The room was dark and cold; I pulled myself out of bed gently trying not to wake him. I grabbed an extra blanket out of the closet, being cautious of the glass on the floor and spread it across the bed. That was when I first saw it, he must’ve put it on after I fell asleep. I held my left hand up and stared at the fourth fingermy engagement ring. There was no burning flesh, or unbearable weight that you hear people talk about when they avoid marriageno none of that, only comfort. It was the type of comfort that came with knowing that you were loved irrevocably. As I crawled back into bed next to him finding my normal spot in his arms, I smiled at the feeling of being home.

  Chapter 28- Benefit

  “You’re engaged, you’re engaged, you’re engaged!” Tink screamed when we came back through the doors of Gravity the next morning and she saw the ring on my finger. I was barely through the door and had only taken my hands from my pockets to shrug out of my coat so that Adrian could hang it with his. The woman had some type of super matrimony detector.

  Since I had gotten a good look at it this morning, no longer in the shadows of darkness, I hadn’t been able to stop looking at it. It was distracting. It wasn’t the traditional diamond solitaire that most women had. There was one large heart shaped diamond in the middle nested in over a dozen deep green emeralds, secured to my hand by a platinum band. I laughed yet found it oddly fitting when he told me that he designed and purchased it through Blue Nile. The memories of how we got together echoing in the ring itself.

  “Yes I’m engaged.” I smiled when Kristen pulled me in for a hug while Adrian was congratulated by the guys.

  “I knew that he’d finally get a ring on that finger.” Joanne congratulated.

  Tink barely made her way through the crowd to hug me before she started talking. “Actually it’s the third finger, because the thumb isn’t—” Doc nudged her and she stopped her stream of info, “it’s gorgeous.”

  “It’s huge.” I added chastising with my eyes. He admitted to getting carried away, and promised that the band itself would be simpler.

  Kristen took another look at the ring on my finger, this time bringing my hand to her. Her eyes widened and then corrected themselves as she released my hand. “Relax Chance, it’s not like you plan on doing this more than once.”

  “That’s what I keep telling her,” My favorite velvet voice crooned into my ear after a set of strong arms grabbed me from behind and wrapped around my torso. “Relax, Honeyface.” He demanded in my ear before planting his lips on my temple.

  I smiled, turning to kiss him, the kiss being interrupted by my comic relief of a big brother. “Stop hogging the bride to be.” Macon demanded, picking me up and turning me away from my grumbling fiancé. He leaned low pretending to whisper conspiratorially. “Just a heads up, since I didn’t get a bachelor party before I got married, Adrian here is going to have two. I am the Tink of bachelor parties.”

  “Way to get the kid in trouble Mack.” Dario groaned, hugging me. “Don’t listen to him Giselle, I’ll take the reign on that. It will be very tasteful.”

  “Yeah, only five strippers,” Jackson drawled sarcastically which made all the guys laugh, and for some reason myself.

  I looked over at Adrian, who didn’t know whether to deny everything or keep quiet. I just shrugged, “I don’t care how many strippers you have.”

  Macon’s mouth dropped as Danny and Jeff slapped high fives, before slapping Adrian on the back in celebration. Tink frowned and Kristen just rolled her eyes calling them all idiots. I looked over at Doc and Ross, who wasn’t fooled in the slightest, a smirk playing on Tawny’s lips as I said my next sentence over their laughs. “Just keep in mind that for every stripper you guys have I will have two.”

  That got the reaction I knew it would, because none of those men wanted to picture their wives with a night of shirtless men in banana hammocks. I left the girls to their laughs and the boys to their strong protests and objections, “I’m going to my office, Kristen we’re leaving for Neil Tower in ten.”

  I went straight to my filing cabinet to pull my most recent case file before all of this mess happened. I wanted to check on Patricia Morgan, not only to make sure that Craig got the hint and stayed the hell away, but to see if Conner and Patricia were safe. As the phone rang I was hoping that everything was well, and she didn’t go back to Craig, as women tended to do in abusive relationships.

  The conversation was short due to Patricia’s need to get to her new job on time, but I was thrilled to know that she had found an apartment just outside of D.C. She got a job as a loan officer at a bank, just inside the perimeter and Conner was making new friends at his new school without trouble. She had to adjust to her new lifestyle—budgeting wasn’t something she ever had to do—but she was happier than she had been in years. She thanked me every four sentences and I reminded her each time that it wasn’t necessary. The best way for her to show appreciation in my eyes was doing exactly what she was doing, living.

  “Good morning, Babes.” A familiar Biloxi accent greeted entering my office.

  I smiled up at him as I closed the file and tucked it back into the drawer. He wasn’t in his standard DIA issued suit, instead the all black clothes that marked my security team at Neil Tower. “Good morning, are you ready to look over this benefit security, it’s going to be a nightmare because it’s partially out in the open and surrounded by so much. These next few weeks will be hell. I’m thinking that—What?” I asked when I noticed that he was staring at me funny.

  “So the murmurs are true.” He stated jerking his head towards the ring on my left hand.

  I looked down at it, for some reason feeling the weight of it for the first time. “About me and Adrian? Yes, I’m engaged.”

  He raised an eyebrow at me, his blue eyes holding questions, confusion, and sadly, pain. “Yesterday?”

  I nodded. “You were right you know? You know I don’t like admitting that, but you were spot on, when it came to why I never said yes.”

  “You didn’t think he could accept your secrets.” He guessed low, his eyes focused more on the Newton’s cradle sitting on my desk than my face. I knew it was because he didn’t want to talk about what was happening because the balls of the pendulum were at rest.

  “Yes, how you can figure me out so easily I will never know.” I sighed leaning against my desk and tucking my hair behind my ears.

  Hunter didn’t say anything, but he gave me one silencing look that seemed to say ‘you know why’. “You’re happy with him?”

  I nodded undoubtedly, “Very much so.”

  “Tell me what you’re thinking.” I demanded as gently as possible when the silence became unbearable again.

  He looked at the ring, and then back at me. “D
oes he know you at all?”

  “What do you mean?” I whispered, now feeling the need to put my hands behind my back.

  He looked at me pointedly, “That ring can sink the Titanic. It’s flashy, flashy isn’t you Alyssa.”

  I sighed, he was right, the ring was a bit grandiose for my taste, but I would love anything Adrian gave me. “I know that, but it holds meaning as well. I love my ring Hunt.”

  “It’s impractical.” He clipped.

  I let out another breath putting my hands at my side. “This isn’t about the ring, so tell me what this is about.”

  “I feel torn.” He answered honestly sitting down in the chair in front of me.

  I waited for him to answer on his own, but eventually my impatience caused me to press, “Between…”

  “Between what I know, how I feel, and what I want.” He answered truthfully. “I feel robbed Alyssa. My chance with you was taken before it started, and I’m losing you again before I could even get you back.”

  I sat in the chair next to him putting my hand on his, because his emotions I didn’t know how to soothe. I was starting to realize that he was in love with me, the way that Adrian loved me. When Adrian was struggling, I could kiss his doubts away, alleviate any insecurity with my caress, and absorb his fears with gentle whispers. This however, I couldn’t do with Hunter, so I was stuck with my hand on his, searching for words. “You knew that I was with Adrian.” I reminded, and felt like an ass, because it sounded more like I was trying to shirk responsibility than help.

  “I know that, but you know me, Alyssa. I’ve always been a believer in signs. I come back when you and Adrian are at your worse, and I still feel the same, like time never passed, and in my head, it means something.” He processed.

  I listened as he went on. “I know you Alyssa. When you’re upset, and you hide, I can read you like a book. You’ve fooled everyone in that room out there, except for me.”

  “Then what do you see?” I asked staring into his blue eyes waiting for an answer.