Taming Her Boss

by C. M. Stunich

  I stand there for at least a full minute just staring.

  “As far as the STD results, you asked for them.”

  “I did not.”

  “Yes, you did,” he grinds out through gritted teeth.

  “No, I didn't,” I grind right back. Lex throws up a hand and then tears the lid from his soup, sending a rush of steam whirling up into the air.

  “I have a very good memory, Olivia.” Lex moves away from the counter and opens a drawer, extracting two spoons and laying them on the counter in front of me. I think they're real silver. “If you can prove to me that you're clean, we could try it next time.” He grins as he recites my words back to me in perfect order.

  I frown.

  “That test was from two weeks ago. Doesn't prove a damn thing. Who knows how many women you've slept with since then.”

  “The answer would be zero,” he tells me, grabbing his soup and retreating into the dining room. I stand there in his fancy kitchen, nose twitching, mouth watering.

  “Grr,” I whisper under my breath, grabbing the damn soup and spoon and following after him. Not because he's won or anything but because I'm fucking starving to death, and I never turn down free Chinese food.

  I scoot quickly into the room and snag the chair at the head of the table right after Lex pulls it out. He glares down at me but manages to fight back a surge of rage, folding his long, gorgeous body into the chair directly next to mine.

  “Zero?” I ask incredulously. “You've slept with zero chicks in two weeks?”

  “Chicks?” Lex echoes, shaking his head. His face seems slightly less red though. “You mean women. Yes. Zero. I told you, Olivia Ashcraft, I'm sick and fucking tired of yes-women and, even worse, spoiled rich girls that my family tries to set me up with.” Lex stirs his soup with his spoon and his eyes glaze over. I wonder if he's thinking of Lara Caliper?

  “Um. Okay.” I scoop a wonton into my mouth and groan in pleasure. Lex's attention snaps up to my face. “Doesn't mean I'm going to ride you bareback,” I say around the steaming hot dumpling. Lex wrinkles his nose at me, but it doesn't matter. I don't care what he thinks. I point at him with my spoon. “Last night was it, buddy.” Crap. Called my boss buddy again. Whatever. I figure since he had his dick inside my pussy, we're past that stage.

  “But why?” Lex asks me, trying to switch from angry and annoyed to charming. Since I've actually never seen him be charming, the switch is startling. He leans forward and puts his chin in his palm, resting his elbow on the gorgeous tabletop. “If you enjoyed it half as much as I did, you'd definitely be considering joining me at the San Francisco Symphony next weekend for a delightful musical rendition of Peter and the Wolf.”

  “Are you asking me out on a date?” I whisper, leaning towards him for confirmation.

  “It's a corporate appreciation evening, meaning it's not open to the public.” Lex continues to smile at me with his full lips. “Lyndon Realty Trust is a major supporter of the arts.”

  “Uh huh.”

  “I could take you to the ballet for the Nutcracker in December.”

  “Hmm.”

  “Or to the Museum of Modern Art, after hours. Just me and you.”

  “Right.”

  Lex purses his lips. I find it amusing that he complains about all of these 'yes-women' as he so lovingly calls them and then finds it frustrating when I don't swoon at his swarthy advances. I scoop another wonton into my mouth.

  “Six months of pleasure, Olivia. Exclusivity. Parties. Events.”

  “I don't care about any of that stuff,” I tell him honestly.

  “Not even about pleasure?” he asks and I sigh, putting the spoon back in the container and refusing to marvel at the fact that Alexander Lyndon, CEO of Lyndon Realty Trust, actually eats Chinese food out of plastic bowls.

  I lean forward and take Lex's hands in mine, fully intending on giving him a stone-faced lecture.

  I don't expect the rush of heat between us, the way my lips part, the way he tugs me forward onto his lap.

  In less than an instant, Lex is unzipping his slacks and I'm shoving the boxers down my hips, kicking them off of one foot and letting them dangle off the other while I straddle Lex. My mind drifts to the STD test results, and I have to really swallow hard to think past the roar of blood in my ears. He's clean. I'm on the pill. We're responsible.

  I slide myself onto Lex's bare cock with a groan we can both feel, pleasure reverberating through our bodies as I wrap my arms around his neck and ride him, fast and furious. The chair scrapes on the floor as we move, hips grinding, the naked flesh of his dick scalding my insides, turning my body into Jell-O. I grab a handful of his hair and jerk his head back, thrusting my tongue in his mouth, slamming our lips together. I think I bruise my face, but who cares? Who fucking cares?

  I drop my head back and let my moans escape, echoing through the empty house as Lex groans and grunts beneath me. A minute later, my pussy's throbbing and clenching and I'm screaming while Lex spills himself inside of me.

  I collapse, sweaty, heart pounding furiously, leaning against his chest with my best oh, shit! expression on my face. Thank God he can't see it.

  “Get your ass in here now, I'm having a crisis,” I tell Maxi as I wrench open the front door and usher her in. I didn't wait for that Cabernet Sauvignon she promised; I've already broken out one of my own. This one's a 2010 Keenan Mernet, Reserve – a mix of Merlot, Cabernet Franc and Cabernet Sauvignon. I've consumed three-quarters of it in less than an hour.

  Maxi raises her blonde brows at me, scooting into my narrow hallway with a basket under one arm and a book with a white cover in the other. I see blood splatters from where I'm standing, so I know it's for me.

  I hold out my hand and wiggle my fingers while Maxi sighs and passes over Lost in a Rush of Gore and Pain – a novel. I flip the book over with one hand and drain the glass of wine I have clutched in the other. If I've learned anything in the past week and a half, it's that I drink too much fucking wine. I blame Lex Lyndon for that and decide that as soon as he's scrubbed clean from my day to day, I'll cut back to one glass of wine every other day. But right now, I need my adult grape juice to get through this.

  “I don't even know if you deserve a new book, much less a hardcover. I should've gotten you an eBook copy of How to Tell Your Best Friend You're Dating Your Shithead Boss for Dumbasses.” I wave Maxi away and turn around, heading towards the living room as I scour the description on the back of the book.

  Two hardboiled police detectives embroiled in a world of crime and passion, chasing a serial killer known only as T'Pain. I pause and glance up at Maxi.

  “T'Pain?” I ask her skeptically and she shrugs.

  “It was in the bestseller section. I just assumed it was good.” I give Maxi my best narrow eyed glare, the kind I seem to be using a lot on Lex Lyndon lately, especially after I rutted with him in his dining room … bareback. I glared at him, and then I booked it the fuck out of there, snatched my shit up and practically flew down the stairs of his porch to get to my car. First thing I did when I got back? Showered and tried not to think about the fact that I let him come inside of me.

  “Fuuuuuck,” I groan, letting my back slam into the wall and clutching the book to my chest. Maxi sighs and sets down her get well soon kit, the kind she always makes for me when I'm sick. Or sleeping with misogynistic pigs.

  “I know you hate bestsellers, Olivia, but they're not all bad. I know T'Pain seems like a strange name for a serial killer, but maybe the book's still good? I checked the ending for you, too. Looks like a clean wrap.”

  “It's not the book,” I say, knowing Maxi's not going to like this. I stand up straight and squeeze the book in my hands like it's a stress ball. “Lex … showed me a copy of his latest STD test results – and they were clean.”

  My friend's expression shifts from affectionately annoyed to what the fuck are even talking about in an instant.

  “His … latest … STD … ” Maxi stops talking and ti
lts her head to the side. Her blonde hair swings like a curtain, shimmering with the reflection of the orange light from my fireplace. As soon as I got home, it started to rain and I knew it was a real wood fire kind of a night. I hopped on my computer, made sure there weren't any Winter Spare the Air Alerts in effect and lit that bitch up with the fires of my rage (and a plastic lighter I dug out of my junk drawer). In case you were wondering, Winter Spare the Air Alerts are totally legit – the city's attempt at 'reducing fine particulate matter air pollution'. If you're not entirely sure what that is, join the club and then go ask the moms. They can produce a dossier on the subject at a moment's notice. “No,” Maxi whispers as I glance back down at the book and pretend I'm really interested in the editorial review quotes. “No, no, no!” she groans, slumping and scooting away from me to collapse on the couch. “You got the sperms, didn't you?!”

  “Don't call them that!” I yell back at her, pointing a finger and narrowing my eyes. “You got the sperms from that one doctor asshole you dated, too!”

  “He was a feminist!” Maxi screams back at me.

  “He so was not! He said he didn't believe in women's suffrage!”

  “IT WAS A TRICK QUESTION!”

  Maxi and I both pause our screaming argument to pant and glare at one another before breaking into radiant smiles.

  “You're right. The doctor dude was an asshole, and stupid, too. But,” she pauses to lift up a finger, “he wasn't as much of an asshole as Lex Lyndon.” Maxi tears her black heels from her feet and tosses them over my coffee table to roll across the white carpeting.

  “That's true,” I admit as she wiggles out of her panty hose and balls them up in her hand with a sigh. Thankfully I'm no longer wearing Lex's clothes, having switched them out for a shirt with the Golden Gate Bridge stretching across the top and a pair of sweatpants that have seen better days.

  “And it's not like you to go after a man with an attitude problem like that. He's disrespectful and annoying. I always thought you'd get with some sweet natured man who had aspirations of being a house husband or something.”

  “Wait, stop, do you hear yourself? Get with? I'm not getting with Lex, Maxi. We just screwed a few times, one of those times having been bareback. It was hot, messy, and now it's over.” My friend looks at me like she doesn't believe me, laying one arm out along the back of the couch while I dig through her get well basket and find the promised bottle of wine.

  “Um, 'kay.” Maxi looks sidelong at the sliding glass door to her left, the slightly parted curtains, the fall of rain slapping against the cement floor of my balcony. “But before, when you've screwed or dated guys, you've never talked about them this often. Or this vehemently.” Maxi's pale eyes flicker back to my face. “And you definitely never spent the night at their house.”

  I purse my lips.

  “Series of freak accidents and events,” I tell her, wondering why everyone in my life has to overanalyze my personal business. “Now, do you want to hear about the sex or not?” I ask her, pouring some wine into the empty glass I left on the coffee table for her. Maxi sighs and leans down to grab it, sitting back and tucking herself comfortably into the corner of my couch.

  “You promised we'd talk about the Tidewater Goby while I was here,” she jokes, raising her glass to mine. “But I guess you can describe our boss' dick first. Okay, circumcised or uncircumcised? Please say circumcised because I've had several fantasies of fucking Lex Lyndon and in them, he was always circumcised.” I give Maxi a look, tossing Lost in a Rush of Gore and Pain – a novel onto my coffee table before taking up residence on the opposite side of the couch.

  “How about a sort of light, skim over the details version of my night?” I don't really want to dive into every little nuance of Lex and my interactions with one another. That's not my style. Believe it or not, Maxi and I hardly ever talk about men. They're just not as important to us as you might think. It actually is possible for women in their thirties to care about things other than husbands and children. Both words, by the way, actually make me cringe a little inside. I don't want a husband. I've only ever been interested in a partner. Lex just doesn't fit either of those titles.

  “Don't be selfish, Oli. I spent all morning watching him strut around like a peacock and all afternoon watching steam explode from his ears as he screamed at everyone on floor twelve. What the hell did you do to the guy?”

  “I left.” I take a sip of my wine and close my eyes. I still can't believe Lex tried to ask me out on a proper date – in a really shitty way. Oh, look at these awesome perks you'll get from being my whore, Olivia. I mean, really? Really? What did he think I was going to say? “He left the contract on the pillow for me to find when I woke up. He still wants me to sign it.” I pause, staring into the fire for a moment. “Oh, and yeah, he was circumcised.”

  “I knew it,” Maxi mumbles as I lean over and dig out a container of hummus and some water crackers from the get well basket. I take off the lid and toss it onto the coffee table, scooping up a massive bite of creamy roasted garlic. “And huge, right?”

  “Massive,” I say around the bite of cracker. I look back at Maxi who's waiting patiently for more details and try to figure out how to describe Lex in a way that'll satisfy her but also move this conversation along. I thought I'd be eager to gossip with my best friend, but really, I just want to stop thinking about Lex Lyndon every thirty seconds. “Eight inches, maybe?” I guess and Maxi's eyes bulge out of her head as she leans forward for more deets as she calls them. I don't mind adding the extra syllable and calling them details, but I can be old fashioned in the weirdest of ways. “Perfect abs, perfect chest, good in bed, blah, blah, blah. Totally boring, Maxi. Seriously.” I look at her and her crinkled brow.

  “Deliciously hot and good in bed is boring to you?”

  “No, mean and arrogant and so full of himself that one day, he may very well just pop like a balloon is boring to me. He had the audacity to trot out some supposed 'dates',” I make little quote symbols with my fingers, “that we wanted me to go on as his, I don't know, official mistress or whatever.”

  “You should go,” Maxi says as I give her a glare hot enough to scald. “Go. Enjoy yourself. Hell, take him to that stupid commitment celebration ceremony on Friday.” I groan and face palm myself.

  “Craig invited you, too?” I ask, staring down at the hummus and wondering why my life is so weird.

  “Yeah, he did. And I'm going. And you should bring Lex. It'd be kind of funny, you have to admit. Test the guy out, see how far you can take him before he stretches to the limit and breaks. Your family has that effect on people.” I lift my head up and shove another cracker in my mouth to distract myself.

  “Did I tell you he showed up for poker night on Friday?” Maxi's eyes get huge again. “Yeah, and the moms invited him, and he stayed.” I shake my head and sigh. “He wasn't even that bad to be around when he wasn't posturing or acting like a douche.” I take another sip of wine. “If I did invite him to that dinner thing though, it'd only be to humiliate him and then drive him away so I could go back to work in peace. I'd make him wear a This is What a Feminist Looks Like T-shirt and spend at least an hour there, talking to Craig's strange menagerie of lovers. That's more than enough weirdness to send the average person running for the hills.”

  “So you are coming back to work,” Maxi says with a bright smile that makes me feel guilty because the answer still is I have no idea. “Well, I think you should, no matter what happens with Lex. I like hanging out with you at the office and now that the whole Oceanstar Capital Group thing is no longer an option, we don't have many other ways to make that happen.”

  I freeze with my wineglass halfway to my face.

  Crap.

  That's right.

  I have to ask Maxi if she's the one that called Lara Caliper.

  I take a huge gulp of alcohol and look back over at her.

  “Maxi,” I begin as she sits up and puts her glass back on the table, shrugging off her sui
t jacket and tossing it over the arm of the couch. “I need to ask you something.”

  “Sure thing,” she says, standing up and stretching her arms above her head before diving into the get well basket for more goodies. I take a deep breath. Maxi and I have been best friends forever and even if she was mad at Lex for costing us the job at Oceanstar, if she wanted to punish him or something, I know she'd never tell a secret I asked her to keep. I make myself believe this before I even ask the question.

  “Did you tell Lara Caliper about the contract Lex offered me?”

  Maxi glances over at me with a baffled expression on her face.

  “Lara Caliper? That woman is like a Goddess – only she's ten times harder to get a hold of. I've never spoken to her in my life, not even when I dated a guy from Oceanstar and went to their corporate Christmas party. Okay, to be fair, in passing I might've asked her if the mini beef wellingtons were any good, but that's about it.”

  I let out a sigh of relief that I cover up with the crunch of a water cracker.

  Of course Maxi would never betray me. I shouldn't even have entertained that thought for a second. Now, the questions stands: who did?

  It's been two hours and sixteen minutes since Olivia Ashcraft emerged through the elevator doors in a navy pantsuit and high heels, disappeared into her office and closed the door. She didn't look my way when she came in, simply dropped into her office chair and got straight to work. I don't know what I expected, but I guess this wasn't it.

  I tap my fingers on my desk and try not to scowl. I refuse to let her see how affected I am by her lack of interest. If I had a better idea of where we stood – such as a signed contract under my belt – I could relax. Right now, I just feel frustrated. I don't know if she intended to or not, but Olivia left her dirty panties in my bathroom. Finding them there last night after I got home, sealed in a plastic bag and left on the edge of the sink by the cleaning lady – I could hardly contain myself. I came so close to driving to her place that I actually went outside and climbed into my car before I realized how psychotic that would appear.