Holiday Spice

by Samantha Chase

  “Ben,” she began patiently, but he noticed she wouldn’t look at him. “I’m here to help you with this project, and we’re on a short timeline. I’m just trying to keep us on track. If we sit here and hang around or goof off, it’s not going to get done.”

  It sounded reasonable, and yet… “Then why not stay for dinner? By that time of day, we’re done working.”

  “Seriously? You’re getting this bent out of shape over dinner?”

  “I didn’t say I was bent out of shape.”

  “Back at home when I’m at work, I get to leave for lunch and then leave for the day at five. That’s how a job works.” She paused, and this time she did look at him, but her expression seemed almost sad. “And that’s what this is. A job.”

  And that’s when it hit him—he had gotten too involved in his own mind where she was concerned. Saw things that weren’t there. Of course she had been pleasant to him—she was trying to make a good first impression, and it had nothing to do with him personally.

  And this was why he preferred to work alone.

  Less chance of awkward misunderstandings.

  * * *

  “Everything is packed up and loaded in the car,” Darcy said to herself the next day. “It’s already starting to flurry, and I need to get going.” She looked around the hotel room one last time as she ran through her mental checklist of what the rest of the day held in store for her.

  “I should have left earlier,” she murmured as she pulled out of the parking lot a few minutes later. “If I have to do the standby thing, I would have had a better chance with an early morning flight.” Talking to herself wasn’t something she normally did, but right now, it was keeping her calm as she faced the long drive to Seattle.

  “I can’t believe I overslept.”

  She had been driving for about twenty miles with the radio playing softly when her phone rang. The rental had Bluetooth, so she could answer it safely.

  “How’s it going?”

  “I overslept,” she admitted.

  “Are you on your way to the airport?”

  “I can’t believe Riley couldn’t get me on a flight. His celebrity status is getting less and less impressive, Savannah,” she teased.

  “He tried, Darce. He really did. We couldn’t get a charter on such short notice and with the threat of the storm. No one was willing to risk it. We need to be optimistic.”

  “Somehow, I don’t think optimism is going to get me on a flight,” Darcy said skeptically.

  “Be positive! Please!” Savannah cried, a hint of frustration in her voice. “I feel horrible that you’re in this situation. I hate how you’re there alone and…ugh! Maybe you should see if you can stay with Ben and avoid all of this.”

  “Please. Good riddance,” Darcy mumbled.

  “Excuse me?”

  “What? Um, nothing. I just meant it’s going to be good to get away from this cold weather. I’ll be happy to be back in LA.”

  “I’m sure,” Savannah agreed. “Do you want to get off the phone, or would you like someone to talk to for a little while?”

  “Are you kidding me? I’d love the company. I was starting to go a little crazy talking to myself!” she said with a laugh.

  Over the next hour, she drove toward the Seattle airport amid flurries that were getting heavier. There was already accumulation, and as much as Darcy hated to admit it, she had a sinking feeling she wasn’t getting out of Washington today—or anytime soon. Rather than mention it to Savannah, she kept up her end of the conversation with stories about all the things she wanted to do when she got back to North Carolina.

  “I want to move out and get a place of my own,” she said.

  “Have you talked to your dad?”

  “I haven’t mentioned it yet. And he’s been busy. He and Martha are closer than ever, and they seem to be going away every weekend. I think if I weren’t still at home, they wouldn’t have to.”

  Savannah laughed softly. “You may have a point. But you should still talk to him. Maybe they like traveling.”

  “I’m sure that’s part of it. Dad didn’t go anywhere or do anything for years, so it’s nice to see him enjoying his life.”

  “But…”

  Darcy couldn’t help but laugh. “But I don’t know. It still seems weird.”

  “In what way?”

  “I was probably more excited than anyone to see my dad start dating. And Martha seemed like the perfect woman for him.”

  “O-kay…”

  “And I was…” Pausing, Darcy realized what she was about to say wasn’t going to make her come off sounding so great. Instead, she decided to go the safe route. “And now I’m glad they worked things out.”

  “How about you tell me what you were going to say?”

  “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “I mean that last part was total bullshit. You thought Martha was perfect for him, and then you were going to say something else. So spill it.”

  She could play dumb, but what was the point? “Fine. She was—is—perfect for Dad. She’s everything I could ever want for him.”

  “So again I say, but…”

  Darcy rested her head back and sighed. “I thought if she was perfect for him, she’d be perfect for us. All of us.”

  “And she’s not?”

  “It’s not there.”

  Savannah was quiet for a moment before asking, “What’s not there?”

  Dammit, she was not going to cry. Taking a preemptive strike, she wiped at her eyes for any moisture. “She’s great, but she’s not…I don’t feel…there’s no…”

  “Use your words.”

  “She’s not my mom.” Her tone was quiet and a little bit trembly, and she hated that more than anything.

  On the other end of the phone, she heard Savannah sigh softly. “Oh, sweetie. I don’t even know what to say to that.”

  “My whole life, I kept thinking if I found the right woman for Dad, she’d be not only a wife, but a mom. I’ve had people like Mary Hannigan—or teachers and counselors—who’ve been like a mom to me, but in the end, they’re not. They have families of their own, and I always found out I was more like a project or someone they felt bad for. I thought my mom—Lillian—would send someone to me. To all of us. And then our family would be complete.”

  “Your family is complete,” Savannah said softly. “You have a father and five brothers who love you. There isn’t anything any of them wouldn’t do for you. And now you have five sisters who think you’re awesome and adore you. There is so much love in this family, Darcy. We’re very lucky. You’re very lucky.”

  But she wasn’t buying it. “It’s not the same. And I know it’s something you can’t understand. Your mother is alive and well, and she’s always been there for you. You have no idea what it’s like to not have that.”

  “You know if she could have been here…”

  “I know. I know. It’s not like she abandoned me on purpose.”

  “So you don’t feel any connection to Martha?”

  “I do. Some. She’s nice and she’s kind and funny, but when I’m with her, all I can think is she’s a nice woman. She’s good to my dad. I have no overwhelming urge to confide in her or to bond.”

  “I hate to say this, but maybe that’s more on you than Martha.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Maybe you’re holding yourself back because you have an unrealistic expectation about how something’s supposed to feel to you where Martha—or any mother figure—is concerned.”

  “No. Trust me. I’ve been searching my entire life. Mary was a constant figure in my life since I was born, and by the time I started school, her life was changing because Anna and Bobby were older, and she started pulling away. And I resented it at first. But I moved on. There were teachers I adored, but then the school
year would end.” She paused. “Everyone leaves. They all walk away.”

  Savannah said softly, “Have you talked to anyone about this?”

  “You mean like a therapist?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “About a dozen of them. I’ve been to every kind of therapy there is. Dad thought it would help, my teachers thought it would help…hell, everybody everywhere thought it would help. But it didn’t. Unless you’ve lost a parent—or never had one—you can’t possibly understand.”

  “So maybe you find a group setting for kids who’ve—”

  “Did that too. It was depressing. I’m not a victim, Savannah. I know that. I’m just a girl who missed out on having a mom. And I know my dad did a great job, and he did everything he possibly could to fill the role of both mother and father, but…”

  “It’s not the same.”

  “No. It’s not.” She pulled off the highway at the exit for the airport, and Darcy knew she wasn’t going to have any great revelations, especially not here and now when there were so many other things she was going to have to focus on, but she couldn’t help but be mildly disappointed. “Sometimes, I wish I could talk to her. Just once.”

  “I wish you could too. I wish she could see what an amazing woman you turned out to be.”

  Now she was going to cry. Swiping at her eyes, she looked out the window as she passed all the long-term parking lots where cars were covered with snow. And off in the distance, there were planes lined up but not moving.

  Not a good sign.

  Pulling up to the rental car drop-off, she sighed. “Okay, this is where I need to get off the phone,” she said to Savannah. “Thanks for talking to me. It made the drive a lot more bearable.”

  “Let us know the minute you find out about a flight, okay?”

  “I will. I promise.”

  “Good luck!”

  Shutting off the car, Darcy did her best to sound positive. “Thanks!” And it wasn’t until after she hung up that she added, “I’m gonna need it.”

  * * *

  Three hours later, Darcy heard the words she never thought she’d hear. “Good news! There is a seat available on this flight. You got lucky. There’s only one left.”

  Relief swamped her. Almost overwhelmed her as she sagged against the ticket desk. Whipping out her license and her phone, she gave the ticket agent her information. If all went well, she’d be leaving Seattle behind within the hour. Hallelujah!

  There was a line of at least twenty people behind her, and part of her wanted to jump with victory that she was getting out of Dodge and would be in the land of sunshine in a matter of hours, but she didn’t.

  “Bear with me,” the agent said. “The computers are all running a little bit slow.”

  “No problem,” she replied as she started to put her items back into her purse. The noise around her was almost deafening, but the conversation behind her caught her attention.

  “What would you like me to do, Cathleen?” the man behind her said wearily. “We’re all in the same boat here. Everyone is trying to get out ahead of this storm.”

  Darcy glanced over her shoulder and noticed the baby in the woman’s arms. A tiny baby. Like a newborn.

  “I hate this,” the woman said quietly. “The customer service person I spoke to last night said we shouldn’t have a problem getting on a flight. My mom is waiting for us at LAX.” As she spoke, her tone got more and more disheartened. “This was not the homecoming I envisioned for us. I wanted us all to go home together.”

  “Me too,” the man said as he stroked the baby’s tiny head.

  Dammit.

  Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.

  Before she could change her mind, Darcy turned around and faced the couple. “Um, excuse me. Hi. I couldn’t help but overhear you’re trying to get on a flight to LAX.”

  “Ma’am?” the ticket agent began. “I need your ID one more time, please.”

  Ignoring her, Darcy kept her focus on the couple. Now that she could really see them, she saw they both looked exhausted. “You’re trying to get home too, right?”

  The woman—Cathleen—nodded. “This was an unexpected trip,” she said, her voice a near sob. She looked at her husband. “We got the call that there was a baby for us, so we hopped on the first flight we could get and came here. We had no idea there was a storm moving in. Now we want to get our son home to the nursery we prepared for him and introduce him to our family.”

  It was a no-brainer. Turning toward the ticket agent, Darcy said, “I want you to give my ticket to them. To her and the baby. You said there was one more seat available after mine, right? They need to get home.”

  The couple gasped. “Oh, no,” Cathleen said with tears in her eyes. “I’m sure you need to get home too.”

  Darcy couldn’t help but smile even as she shook her head. “Not like you do,” she said softly. “Sometimes I’m a completely selfish brat. And other times…” She shrugged. “It’s not a big deal for me to hang out in the airport. I’ll find a hotel or something.”

  “All the area hotels are booked,” the agent said without looking up.

  “I’ve never camped out in an airport then,” Darcy said cheerily. “It will be like an adventure.”

  Maybe if she kept telling herself that, she’d believe it.

  “You’re not selfish,” Cathleen said. “You’re one of the most giving people I’ve ever met.”

  “Well, then you should know that I have to do this. That sweet baby needs to go with both of his parents and meet his family,” she said and felt herself getting emotional. She forced a smile. “Now let me get out of the line so you can get your tickets home.”

  The couple embraced her and thanked her over and over again. She wished them luck—both with getting home and with their new lives that were just beginning—and turned to walk away.

  Making her way through the crowd, Darcy couldn’t help but sigh. This was going to be her home away from home for at least the next twenty-four hours. She had a feeling it was going to be longer, but she refused to let her mind go there right now.

  Finding a quiet corner, she called Savannah and told her what had just happened and how she wasn’t going to be getting back to LA today. “You’re not mad at me, are you?” she asked.

  “Are you kidding me? I’m practically bawling over here with pride. That was an incredibly selfless thing you did.”

  “Yeah, well, they needed to go home as a family.” She looked over her shoulder and saw the couple hugging each other, and it made her smile.

  “They are going to remember you forever, you know that, right?” Savannah paused. “So now what?”

  “Now, I try and find a place to hang out away from the gate areas and just chill. I’ll keep asking around and checking online for a hotel room, but I’m not going to hold out much hope. I don’t want to venture too far away from the airport, because the first flight I can get on, whether it takes me to LA or North Carolina, I’m taking.”

  “We didn’t even check on North Carolina flights.”

  “That’s going to be my project this afternoon.” She was going to say more, but the flight to LAX was being called, and the noise level went up. “I should go.”

  “I hate the thought of you being there by yourself.”

  “It was my choice, and I’m going to be fine. I’m choosing to think of this like a little adventure.”

  “Your brother is going to freak out that you’re there alone, you know.”

  “Nah, he’ll be thankful he doesn’t have to deal with me right away. But make sure you tell him I was a hero, and he should feel bad for treating me the way he did,” she said with a grin. “I love you guys, and hopefully I’ll have some good news soon.”

  “My fingers are crossed for you!”

  Anything else she might have said was drowned out by the stream of
announcements coming over the PA system. She said a quick goodbye and moved into the crowd to find a place to set up camp.

  An hour later, she had snagged a corner table at a wine bar. No kids, and it was much quieter than being out in the terminal. Her phone was charged, and she had her tablet out so she could search all the travel sites for a hotel room. She’d struck out with a flight to North Carolina, but she was feeling hopeful about finding a room.

  Two hours later, she had polished off a plate of assorted meats and cheeses—and two glasses of wine—and was feeling more than a little relaxed. And more than a little hopeless. After searching every travel site and calling a dozen different hotels, she was done. She had no choice but to accept her fate.

  She was stuck at the airport.

  Knowing she was going to have to find another place to hang out—there was only so much wine and cheese she was willing to purchase to secure her table—Darcy began putting her things in her satchel. She paid her bill and walked out to the terminal when she heard her name paged.

  Did someone find her a seat on a plane? Was she finally going to get to leave Washington and get to LA? How awesome would that be?

  With a renewed pep in her step, she quickly made her way to the gate area and cut to the front of the line.

  “Excuse me! Excuse me!” she called out until one of the agents looked at her. Ignoring the angry glares of all the people in line, Darcy smiled brightly. “Hi, I’m Darcy Shaughnessy, and I heard my name paged.”

  The ticket agent looked at her oddly for a moment and then looked at her computer screen. “Okay, yes, Miss Shaughnessy, you need to go to the baggage claim office. It’s on the lower level.”

  “But I thought you found a flight to LAX for me?”

  The look on the agent’s face bordered on disbelief as she stared at Darcy for an awkward minute.

  “So…um…”

  “Lower level by the baggage claim carousels. Someone will be able to help you. Next in line!”

  Fine. No flight. But what would anyone want with her in baggage claim? With no other choice, she secured her satchel, grabbed her suitcase, and made her way through the crowds, ignoring annoyed looks from the people in line, and to the escalators.