Dining with Angels: Bits & Bites from the Demonica Universe

by Larissa Ione

  Arik shook his head in dismay.

  “You wanna ask?” Reaver said with a gesture toward the kitchen. “Go ahead.”

  As predicted, Arik, ever the warrior, couldn’t resist the challenge. “Harvester? Did you say you have to wash the penis off your hands?”

  “Yep.”

  “Um...why?”

  There was another clink. “Do you want me to bring you a beer with penis juice on my hands?”

  “No, I mean—”

  Reaver gave him a “told you so” look and tried to keep a straight face.

  Arik cleared his throat and tried again. The fool. “Why do you have penis, uh, juice, on your hands?”

  “For Cara’s hellhounds. Part of the baby shower gift.”

  “Penises?”

  She poked her head around the corner. “You know how humans give those nasty dried bully sticks to their dogs? Those are dried penises. Hellhounds like ‘em fresh.”

  “You’re right,” Arik grumbled to Reaver. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

  “I can’t believe you doubted me.” Reaver popped his feet back down on the floor and addressed the reason Arik was here. “Is everything okay with Limos and Keilani?”

  “Yeah, yeah, everything’s great. I’m here on DART business. Sort of.” He tucked his phone in his jacket pocket. “Rumor has it that Azagoth has shut down Sheoul-gra. Evil souls are starting to cause problems. I don’t suppose you can maybe have a chat with him?’

  This was news to Reaver, but then he and Harvester had been spending more time on the Other Side than in the human realm, and they’d missed a few messages. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  That seemed to satisfy Arik. “So have you seen Revenant lately?”

  Reaver’s twin brother, Revenant, hadn’t come around in months, but he had a good excuse. “Turns out that running Hell is a big job and it takes a lot of time.”

  “Huh. Who would have thought, right?”

  Reaver opened his mouth to reply, but a sudden burst of curses and the sound of pots and pans crashing around the kitchen shut him up.

  Standing, Arik reached up to rub the back of his neck. “This seems like my cue to go.”

  Reaver’s too. “Need a ride?”

  “If you’re offering.”

  More curses came from the kitchen, and Reaver decided that delaying his chat with Harvester could wait a couple more minutes.

  He took Arik by the shoulder and flashed him to the Hawaiian house he shared with Limos and their daughter, Keilani. The baby was sleeping in her playpen and Limos was napping on the couch next to it.

  Reaver wasn’t going to stay and wake anyone up, but he did remain there for a minute, just gazing upon the beauty of the little family. Limos was living her dream, and Reaver couldn’t be happier.

  “You can stay as long as you want,” Arik whispered, but no, Reaver had to go.

  Harvester might not admit it, but she needed him, and he would never not be there for her.

  But as he dematerialized, he realized he might need to learn to dodge pans.

  * * * *

  Food dripped from walls and cabinets, and the beautiful tiled floor was covered in sauce and overturned dishes. At least the kitchen smelled good.

  “I can’t do this!”

  Harvester never cried, but she was so frustrated that she was on the verge. Reining in her desire to destroy more than she already had, she dialed Suzanne, who answered on the second ring.

  “Hello?”

  “It’s Harvester. I need help.”

  “What can I do for you?”

  “I can’t cook. I just got done with the penises, and now I’m trying to make this dish from a recipe, but it sucks and I suck and I just want to order food and tell Reaver I cooked it.”

  Suzanne laughed softly. “It’s okay. I can help you through it. What are you trying to make? Something with...penises? Is it a demon dish?”

  “I’m making Coq au Vin and Baked Alaska.”

  Harvester heard Suzanne inhale sharply. “Honey, Coq au Vin doesn’t use, um, those kind of cocks.”

  “I’m not using penises for...that. Ew. Gross. I have chicken.”

  “Oh, good.” Suzanne sounded relieved, but she clearly hadn’t considered the possibilities of using penises in revenge food. “But Coq au Vin and Baked Alaska are two very complicated dishes. Why don’t I send you recipes that are a little more user-friendly? I can even talk you through them if you need me to.”

  Harvester hated admitting defeat, but she really wanted to do this. “I suppose that could work.”

  “Okay, what is the occasion? That’ll help me find the perfect dishes.”

  “No occasion. It’s just that in a couple of weeks we’re going to have to spend an entire day with all his kids at a baby shower, and I think he worries about how we’ll all get along.” Mainly, he worried she’d cause trouble. “So I need to bank some credit.”

  On the other end of the line, Suzanne laughed. “I think my Beef Skewers with Wasabi Aioli and the Dark Chocolate Chipotle Brownies we made during your taping will be perfect. I’ll text you the recipes in a few minutes.”

  “Perfect. Thank you.”

  Harvester hung up just as Reaver walked into the kitchen.

  He stopped and looked around, his expression unreadable. “Were you attacked by a horde of demons? Or was this a temper tantrum?”

  “It was demons,” she said with a haughty sniff. “Big ones. At least a dozen.”

  “I see.” A soft glow flashed around him, and instantly, the kitchen was clean and the pots and pans were stacked neatly in the sink.

  “I’m sorry,” she sighed. “I’ve been a little stressed.”

  “I know.” He strode over to her and folded her into his arms. She loved it when he did that. She used to fight it, but now she knew that taking comfort and relying on someone wasn’t a weakness. It was, in fact, almost a necessity for survival. “But I might be able to help.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He inhaled deep in his chest, as if he had to brace himself for whatever he was about to say, and she stiffened. “I spoke with Michael. The Watcher Council has agreed to take you off Watcher duty.”

  She tore away from Reaver as explosive anger blasted through her, and she suddenly wished the pots and pans were within reach. “They what? You did what?”

  “I just thought maybe you aren’t happy doing the job.” He casually put himself between her and the pile of cookware. “You always say you hate it, and you don’t like the Horsemen anyway.”

  Her anger veered to hurt and confusion. “I...I...Why would you say that?”

  “Why?” he asked, incredulous. “You laughed about cursing Reseph with a disease so painful that some demons amputate their own dicks. You enjoy punishing them.”

  “No, I don’t.” She held up her hand to stop him from arguing. “Well, maybe I enjoyed giving Reseph the STD...but come on, that was hilarious.”

  She let out a chuckle before clearing her throat and getting serious again. She truly didn’t want Reaver, or his children, to think she hated them, and it was possible—maybe—that she’d been a little too hard on them.

  “This might surprise you,” she said softly, “but I don’t like seeing the Horsemen suffer, especially if whatever they did to get into trouble was something I’d do myself. And it usually is. I never lie when I say I hate this job. The rules are stupid.”

  His brow furrowed in confusion. “Then why do you keep doing it?”

  Why, indeed. She’d wondered the same thing. At first, she thought maybe it was out of jealousy that the Horsemen weren’t hers. They should have been. Instead he’d knocked up a wretched succubus and ruined everything.

  Later she’d realized that she hadn’t felt the need to keep them close because she didn’t like them, but because she loved them. She just had trouble admitting it.

  “Harvester?” he prompted, his voice taking on a soothing tone that always took her down a few notches and encouraged h
er to tell him the truth. To open up.

  Not her strong suit.

  But he deserved it, so she closed her eyes and ripped her emotions wide open.

  “Because I can’t let someone else punish them.” She opened her eyes, catching his surprised gaze. “I don’t mete out even half the suffering another Watcher would. You know that. Historically, each Watcher tries to outdo the last. When I was the Horsemen’s evil Watcher, I did try. And I succeeded.” She’d been harsh and brutal, and at the time, she’d compartmentalized it and let it go. Now...now her actions sat on her chest like an anvil. “I had to because my life, and theirs, and the fate of the entire floofing world rested in my ability to maintain my cover and be the evilest bitch I could be. Now I can make it up to them.” She snorted. “Except Reseph. I’m not done with him yet.”

  “So you don’t hate them?”

  “No. Not at all.” She took Reaver’s hand and drew him close. “Sometimes I resent it when you take their sides instead of mine, but I love them and would never force you to choose between my love and theirs. Besides,” she said brightly, “eventually we’ll have our own child, and you’ll love it more than the Horsemen...and that’ll be that.” She booped him on the nose. “What do you say we forget that I tried to cook and we go out to eat?”

  He stood there like he had been poleaxed. And she knew his poleaxed expression because she’d done it to him once, back when she was evil and he was extra annoying.

  “You...want to have a baby?”

  “Well, not now. But eventually...yes. I can’t let that whore, Lilith, be the only mother to your children.” She placed her hand on his chest, her pulse quickening to match his as it thudded against her palm. “And no, my jealousy is not truly the reason I want a child. It’s you, Reaver. For the longest time I didn’t think I had enough love in my heart for anything more than what we have. But I keep finding new things to love. My world is getting bigger, and I want my family to do the same.”

  Suddenly, she found herself in Reaver’s arms, his strength crushing her to him in a powerful embrace. His magnificent wings wrapped around them both, creating a cocoon of safety and love.

  “Me too.” His gaze captured hers, holding her in this perfect moment. And when his warm, firm lips came down on hers, she was reminded that, without a doubt, that he held her heart too...for all eternity.

  * * * *

  Reaver and Harvester are one of my favorite couples in the Demonica/Lords of Deliverance universe, and if you liked them too, you can read all about their romance in Reaver. If you want to go back to their roots, you’ll have to go all the way back to the first book in the Demonica series, Pleasure Unbound, where Reaver is but a mention. But by book 3, Passion Unleashed, he plays an important role that continues to this day. You’ll meet Harvester in the 1st book of the Lords of Deliverance series, Eternal Rider, which is also book 6 of the Demonica series. I know, it’s confusing, but feel free to check out my printable book list, which will help with the reading order!

  Spicy Food

  Dark Chocolate Chipotle Brownies

  1/2 cup butter, melted

  1/2 cup all-purpose flour

  1 cup sugar

  1/4 teaspoon baking powder

  2 eggs

  1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

  1 teaspoon vanilla

  1/3 cup cocoa powder

  1 teaspoon chipotle powder

  Preheat oven to 350. Grease an 8 x 8-inch pan. Combine butter, sugar, eggs and vanilla in a large bowl. Add in cocoa powder, flour, baking powder, cinnamon and chipotle powder. Pour and spread into greased pan. Bake for 25 minutes. Let cool for 10 minutes then cover with frosting.

  Chocolate Icing

  1/2 cup (1 stick) butter or margarine, softened

  2/3 cup cocoa powder

  3 cups confectioners’ sugar

  1/3 cup milk

  1 teaspoon vanilla extract

  Melt butter. Stir in cocoa. Add powdered sugar, milk and vanilla. Mix well until smooth. Add a small amount of additional milk, if needed.

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  Grilled Beef Skewers with Wasabi Aioli

  1 lemon, juiced

  1 teaspoon ground ginger

  1 teaspoon onion powder

  2 tablespoons soy sauce

  1 teaspoon minced garlic

  1 (6 ounce) container plain Greek yogurt

  1 (1-2 pound) sirloin steak, cut into 1-inch cubes

  In a large resealable bag, combine the lemon juice, ground ginger, onion powder, soy sauce, minced garlic and yogurt. Add the steak and allow to marinate for 24 hours. Heat grill to medium heat. Thread 5-6 pieces of steak onto a kebab skewer. Repeat until all steak is skewered. Place on the grill over direct heat and cook for 3-4 minutes on each side or until desired doneness. Serve with Wasabi Aioli. (Click here for recipe.)

  Wasabi Aioli

  1/2 cup mayonnaise

  1 tablespoon lemon juice

  2 teaspoons wasabi paste

  1 teaspoon minced garlic

  In a small bowl, combine mayonnaise, lemon juice, wasabi paste and minced garlic. Refrigerate for 24 hours.

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  White Chicken Chili

  4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts

  1 teaspoon cumin

  1 onion, diced

  1 teaspoon oregano

  1 tablespoon minced garlic

  1 teaspoon chili powder

  48 ounces chicken broth

  1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper

  2 (15 ounce) cans Great Northern beans, drained and rinsed

  1/2 cup fresh cilantro, chopped

  2 (4 ounce) cans green chiles

  2 teaspoons salt

  1 cup heavy cream

  1 teaspoon pepper

  Topping

  Sour cream

  Pickled jalapenos

  Monterey Jack cheese

  Tortilla Strips

  In a slow cooker, add chicken breasts and top with remaining ingredients except heavy cream. Cook on high for 4 hours. Remove chicken from slow cooker and shred on a cutting board. Return the chicken to the slow cooker and add heavy cream. Cook on high for an additional 15 minutes. Serve with sour cream, Monterey Jack cheese, pickled jalapenos and Tortilla Strips. (Click here for recipe.)

  Tortilla Strips

  4 cups oil

  2 teaspoons salt

  8 corn tortillas

  Heat oil to 350 degrees. Slice corn tortillas in half, then slice in ½ inch thick strips and add to oil. Fry for 1-2 minutes, then drain and sprinkle with salt.

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  Gumbo

  1 cup oil

  1 cup flour

  1 onion, chopped

  1 red bell pepper, chopped

  2 celery stalks, chopped

  1 tablespoon minced garlic

  1 pound smoked sausage, sliced 1/2 inch thick

  1 tablespoon Creole seasoning

  6 cups chicken broth

  1 rotisserie chicken, shredded

  Heat oil in a Dutch oven over medium heat and whisk in flour. Continue whisking until the roux has cooked for 8 to 10 minutes and is a dark tan in color. Stir onion, bell pepper, celery, garlic and sausage into roux. Season with Creole seasoning and continue to stir. Pour in the chicken broth. Bring to a boil over high heat, then reduce heat to low and simmer, uncovered, for 1 hour, stirring occasionally. Stir in shredded chicken and simmer for one more hour.

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  Zesty Lemon Mahi Mahi

  4 mahi mahi fillets

  1 stick butter, melted

  1 lemon, juiced

  1 teaspoon salt

  1 teaspoon pepper

  1 teaspoon paprika

  1 teaspoon red pepper flakes

  1 tablespoon onion powder

  1 tablespoon garlic powder

  3 tablespoons capers

  Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a 9 x 13-inc
h greased baking dish, lay the fillets out in a single layer. In a small bowl, whisk together the remaining ingredients and pour sauce evenly over the fillets. Bake for 25 minutes. Serve with additional sauce over fillets.

  Quick Tip: Parchment paper is great for cooking fish. Place one fillet with 2-3 tablespoons of sauce in the center of a 12 inch piece of parchment paper. Pull paper over the fillet and fold to seal around the entire fish. This creates a steam oven. Bake for 20 minutes.

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  Salsa with a Vengeance

  12 ripe tomatoes, quartered

  1 bunch fresh cilantro

  1 (15 ounce) can San Marzano tomatoes

  3 limes, juiced

  2 onions, quartered

  3 tablespoons ground cumin

  1/4 cup minced garlic

  2 tablespoons sugar

  6 jalapenos, quartered

  1 tablespoon salt

  In a food processor, add tomatoes and pulse until pureed. Remove from food processor and place in a large bowl. Add remaining ingredients to the food processor and pulse until pureed. Add ingredients to the tomatoes and stir until blended together. Ladle salsa into 6 pint jars and seal. Follow directions below for canning to complete the process.

  To prep the jars for canning, fill a large pot half-way with water. Place jars in water with lids removed. Bring to a boil over medium heat for 8-10 minutes. Remove and dry until ready for use. You may also use a dishwasher to wash and heat jars. After the jars have been filled with salsa, place the lids securely on each jar. Bring a large pot of water about ½ full to a rolling boil. Add the jars (about 6 pint or 10 jelly jars) to the pot, ensuring they are submerged. Boil for 10 minutes then remove from heat. Allow jars to stand for 10 minutes before removing from pot. Remove jars and allow to cool for 24 hours. Store in a cool dark place for up to a year.